"I Like To Watch": January 2014

FROZEN (2013 - FAMILY / ADVENTURE / ACTION)
****1/2 out of ***** / 9 out of 10

(After all that snow, I'm ready to spend a year in Hawaii)

Par-tay?

CAST: Voices of Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Josh Gad, Jonathan Groff, Chris Williams, Ciaran Hinds, Santino Fontana, Alan Tudyk, Edie McClurg.

DIRECTOR: Chris Buck and Jennifer Lee

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and compelling reasons to stay out of Scandinavia - straight ahead.

IT'S LIKE THIS: If you like snow, then our next review is for you. The flick is (aptly, no?) titled FROZEN. And with a moniker like that, it's safe to say there aren't many beach scenes or tanned bods wearing sexy board shorts anywhere in sight. More like dozens and dozens of icicles, blizzard, furry parkas and more snowflakes than on the shoulders of someone with the severest case of dandruff. If you get to the end of this movie and you aren't shivering just a little, you might be already dead, folks. Or a snowman. Like the doofus one named Olaf who runs around in this flick like a monkey that has just downed more than its fair share of espresso shots.

But more on that goofy fucker later. For now let's talk about our heroines. There are two of them, and they are both royal princesses in some far-flung Nordic kingdom. First, we have reserved, responsible older sis Elsa (voice of Idina Menzel). Second, we have adventurous, unpredictable younger sis Anna (Kristen Bell). As you can imagine from their descriptions, Elsa is the one who is always looking out for Anna, who's basically a tomboy in fine royal clothing. Compared to crazy Anna, Elsa seems downright banal. Or is she?

Turns out Elsa possesses a trait that marks her as more than your garden-variety wallflower. You see, apparently, our first-born princess was born with a special power (or curse?) to turn anything she touches into ice. But only when she is emotionally upset. Then Elsa shoots freezing rays out of her fingers. Think of her as a better-looking version of Mr. Freeze (Arnie Schwarzenegger) from BATMAN & ROBIN. But also a lot less bulky. Anyhow, Elsa and Anna's parents decide to isolate Elsa from the kingdom to keep it safe from her icy powers. As you can imagine, this pretty much drives a wedge between the two sisters.

Until the King and Queen of Frigid Land both die in a seafaring accident. Eventually, someone must ascend the throne - and the next in line is none other than our lovely Ms. Freeze, AKA Elsa, herself. Anna remains the rambunctious tomboy and basically makes an ass of herself at the coronation. Mainly because she just met visiting hot prince Oaken (voice of Chris Williams), and turned to even more of a spaz than me whenever Andrew Garfield is within a mile of me (or a hundred).

Meanwhile, Elsa herself is just a tad nervous about accepting the crown. And if you think someone who can freeze entire provinces when she is upset is probably not a great candidate for Ruler of the Land, well, join the fucking club. Sure enough, all the pressure from the coronation ceremony gets to be too much for Elsa - and she basically spazzes out even worse than lil' sis Anna with Oaken or me with Andy G. Yes, folks, it ends just as you thought it would: with the entire land frozen into solid frickin' ice and the whole kingdom reduced to a winter wonder-hell.

Ostracized by the stupid people, Elsa runs off to hide in a nearby mountain range. Still, don't feel too sorry for our dear Snow Queen because it's not all that rough for her. Our girl basically uses her powers to create a bad-ass ice palace more grand than any five-star hotel out there. Meanwhile, the kingdom continues to be buried under, like, a shitload of snow - with the people carping and whining and bitching about all that cold. To which we kind of wondered: "Um, aren't they in Scandinavia? Isn't always fucking cold as shit there all the time, anyway? What's the big fucking deal? It's not like they live in Tahiti or the Philippines. Pussies."

Anyhow, despite our valid point about Nordic weather, the people seem convinced that they will freeze to death after long - so our intrepid tomboy Anna decides to do the Alpha Girl Thang and head into the wilderness to find Elsa. She thinks she can convince Big Sis to let up on the "ice frenzy" and restore the land to its, um, normal climate. Which, as we already questioned before, shouldn't really be much warmer than it is now. But whatevs. I didn't write the damned script. Meanwhile, her hottie prince Oaken will stay behind in the kingdom and hold down the fort, er, the castle, er, you know what I mean.

Along the way, Anna meets rough-around-the-edges trekker Kristoff (voice by Jonathan Groff), who travels with a loyal reindeer named Sven, who is kind of like my goofy cat Guido - but much much much bigger. After the requisite "I-hate-you-I-want-your-body-I-kinda-still-hate-you-but-DAMN-you-are-HOT!" banter between them, Kristoff finally agrees to help Anna get to the mountain peak where Elsa has set up what looks like a Grand Hyatt Hotel preserved inside a giant ice cube.

Oh, and along the way, Kristoff and Anna meet Olaf (voice of Josh Gad), a goofy (even goofier than Kristoff and Sven and Guido) snowman whom Elsa accidentally brought to life with her powers. Fortunately, Olaf is the good-natured sort and agrees to take our search party to Elsa's chilly crib. And also to provide comic relief (even though Kristoff, Anna, and Sven aren't exactly humorless assholes, themselves.) And just like that, we have a Nordic version of The Four Stooges. Well, you know what I mean...

So... will our fearless foursome reach Castle Cold-As-Fuck in time before the kingdom freezes? Or will they manage to talk some sense into Elsa and get her to microwave the entire fucking place back into summer? Or are the denizens of the land all doomed to have blue fingers, blue noses, blue toes, and blue balls (and not the horny kind)? Who will save the day? Anna? Kristoff? Oaken? Sven? That doofy shit Olaf? Or will Elsa be the one to fix the problem she started? How will this all end?

Just don't count on any warm fuzzies, folks. Then again, this is a Disney flick... so count away.

BUT, SERIOUSLY: A couple of years ago, Disney scored big with its revisionist take on the classic Brothers Grimm Fairy Tale "Rapunzel." Then again more recently with the original tale BRAVE, which went down some wonderfully unexpected paths. Now, they are attempting the same thing with Han Christian Andersen's equally classic (but slightly less known) tale, "The Snow Queen." Like TANGLED and "Rapunzel," Disney takes this tale of a girl cursed with the ability to freeze anything she touches when upset and attempts to give it a modern, humorous spin, while still mining some emotional rewards out of it. And like BRAVE, Disney gives the narrative some atypical flourishes. Does it succeed?

The unequivocal answer is "yes." FROZEN gives us a near-perfect combination of humor, action, charm, and pathos. It also manages to impart a worthwhile message about family loyalty and sisterly love, while still being a full-blooded roller-coaster ride of a family film. With this movie, Disney essentially reinvents the "Classic Disney Movie" template. This is one film that can stand proudly next to previous classic from the studio like THE LION KING, THE LITTLE MERMAID, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, and the more recent BRAVE. In fact, out of all the previous films, the last two are the ones FROZEN reminds us of the most, with their similar tales of a cursed soul who must remain in hiding to protect those he/she loves - and the brave person who takes a huge risk to set him/her free. And like BRAVE and BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, the story takes some atypical, unexpected turns.

The humor here is abundant and, in keeping with modern tastes, has a contemporary zing. Princess Anna's interactions with Prince Oaken and Kristoff (her two love interests) are prime examples. The comical reindeer Sven and quirky snowman Olaf are also comic delights that feel unique to this movie. Even the poised and distant Princess Elsa is given her own moments of lightness, which helps deepen the character. As with TANGLED, FROZEN more than delivers on the humor quotient.

Where FROZEN trumps TANGLED, however, is in the emotions department. Whereas the latter was a funny roller-coaster ride with some seriously engaging characters, the former takes the very same template - and deepens those characters. The result is a more potent "staying power" and emotional resonance. In other words, FROZEN tugs at your heart-strings in a way that TANGLED didn't even bother to do despite its strengths. And as we have talked about in past reviews, what makes a very good movie (****, 8) go into the realm of excellent films (****1/2 , 9 or higher) is a strong emotional center. As we talked about in our review for the modern classic GLADIATOR, the best movies are the ones that you remember the most - and you remember them because they made you feel something, whether you realize it or not. In this regard, FROZEN is more like BRAVE - another Disney film with two female protagonists at its heart - and a compelling emotional fulcrum at its core.

In FROZEN, the themes are timeless and worthwhile - but also unexpected. Instead of a classic "boy-girl" love story (like TANGLED), the story's focus is on the love between two sisters. Anyone with sisters will relate to this film, and the main thread of this film tracks the risks, dangers, and sacrifices that Anna must make, not just to save the kingdom, but to save her sister Elsa from a life of isolation and sadness. Just like BRAVE's refreshing emphasis on a mother-daughter bond, FROZEN's focus on Anna and Elsa's sisterly connection, and the trials they overcome because of it, yield major emotional rewards at the end of the film.

Kudos must be given to the entire cast for their stellar voicing. The same praise goes to helmers Chris Buck and Jennifer Lee for the expert way they spin this magical tale of sisterhood and sacrifice. If Disney continues on this track, they may very well enter another "Golden Era" like the one from the 80s and 90s - providing us with modern classic after modern classic. BRAVE and FROZEN are beautiful recent examples of that.

In closing, I dedicate this review to my sister. Love ya, sis. I would walk through an ice storm or blizzard for you.

And, yes... this film is, like BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, also a musical. Please find below some stellar numbers and setpieces from FROZEN:

"I Like To Watch"

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Winter/Spring 2014 Movie Review List... And Spotlight on: AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 Trailer

# 535 - FROZEN (2013)