SUMMER MOVIE SEASON 2014

Hello, folks...

With the release of THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 this past weekend, we are officially in the Summer Movie Season.  Please expect the below summer reviews to post as the dog days roll on...  As always, review schedules are subject to change.

Thanks - and have a wonderful May... : )

# 548 - THE OTHER WOMAN

# 549 - GODZILLA

# 550 - MILLION DOLLAR ARM

# 551 - A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST

# 552 - EDGE OF TOMORROW

# 553 - THE FAULT IN OUR STARS

# 554 - 22 JUMP STREET

# 555 - HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2

# 556 - DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES

# 557 - GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

# 558 - THE GIVER

# 547 - THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 (2014)

THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2  (2014) ***** out of *****  or 10 out of 10

( Sniff… Someone pass me a tissue....)

CAST:   Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Jamie Foxx, Dane DeHaan, Sally Field, Colm Feore, Paul Giamatti, Felicity Jones, Dennis Leary, Chris Cooper. 

DIRECTOR:  Marc Webb

WARNING:  Some SPOILERS and some damn good arguments to stick to stay the hell out of Washington D.C. - straight ahead...

IT'S LIKE THIS:  Paris Carver (Teri Hatcher), one my favorite Bond Girls, once memorably told James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) in TOMORROW NEVER DIES (1997) that his job of being a secret aent is "murder on relationships."  Sadly, our poor, lovely, doomed Paris had no idea just how right she was.  Had she survived TOMORROW NEVER DIES, she could've warned the equally-lovely Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) about the perils of dating someone who battles evil for a living. 

As you folks well know, Gwen Stacy was the heroine of THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN from two years ago.  Now, she's back in THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 - and still dating the titular hero of the story: the, uh, amazing Spiderman.  When he's not wearing a skin-tight blue-and-red spandex costume that emphasizes his small but perfect tushie quite vividly, Spidey walks around in the normal-guy "aw-shucks" guise of Peter Parker (Andrew "Ssssssssmokin'" Garfield). 

If you folks will also recall, at the end of THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN, a dying Captain Stacy (DENISE LEARY), Gwen's cop father, made Peter promise that he would stay away from Gwen - or risk endangering her because of his secret identity as Spiderman.  Judging from the fact that THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 opens with Peter planting a big ol' wet one on Gwen in front of a whole high school graduating class, I think it's safe to say that that Peter ain't paying too much mind to the late Papa Stacy's concerns.

But then a new baddie turns up in NYC.  Last time we had bizarro freak Lizard, AKA, Dr. Curt Conners (Rhys Ifans) who was basically, um, a giant lizard with the intent to turn the entire Big Apple into giant lizards.  This time, we have bizarro Freak Electro, AKA, Dr. Max Dillon (Jamie Foxx) who is basically, um, an electrically-charged asshole who wants to turn the entire Big Apple into a giant cinderbox. 

Then there's Peter's old best pal, Harry Osborne (Dane DeHaan), who is heir to the sinister and mysterious Oscorp - which may be conducting unethical and illegal genetic experiments.  Seems Harry is inching closer and closer to the dark side:  apparently, along with millions and millions of dollars, Harry also inherited a mysterious disease that killed his father and most of this progenitors.  Hence, it's been called "The Osborne Curse."  And Harry will do anything to cure himself - even hurt someone else.  Hence, the "edging closer and closer to the dark side" comment.

Seems like our boy Spidey is going to have a busy summer...

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW:  How will Spideman contend with not just one - but two villains?  Is there anyway to stop Electro?  And what happens when Harry recklessly injects himself with the same mutant spider venom that transformed Peter into a webslinger?  Will Harry turn into another Spiderman?  Or something... much worse?  And how can Gwen stay out of the crossfire?  Does she even want to?  How can she stay loyal to Peter and protect him without getting herself killed, as well?  Gwen, sweetie, learn from Paris Carver's mistakes and you'll live longer...

WHAT WE LIKED ABOUT THE MOVIE:  Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone once again burn up the screen with potent chemistry, are just adorabe as in the first movie.  Their connection and the relationship between the characters they play is emotional engine that powers this film.  Dane DeHaan is terrific as the good-boy-gone bad Harry Osborne.  Jamie Foxx gives a surprisingly vulnerable edge to Electro/Max Dillon. 

WHAT WE COULD'VE LIVED WITHOUT:  This movie is pretty much perfect.  

AND THE "SEXIEST EYE CANDY" AWARD GOES TO:  Andrew Garfield - all the way, baby...

FINAL ANALYSIS:   Just like the first THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN, this movie is a moving, exciting combination of action, thrills, suspense, character, and romance.  Director Marc Webb, as before, anchors the narrative in Peter Parker's emotions.  While the first film stemmed out of Peter's surprise at and growing appreciation of his powers  (as well as his desire to avenge his uncle's death at the hands of a mugger)the second film rests the story squarely in Peter and Gwen's relationship - which was in its infancy before, but fully blooms now.   And because Peter and Gwen are such energetic and vibrant characters, their chemistry lends the same spark to the entire movie. 

Contrast the dynamic rapport that Peter and Gwen have in this film and the last one, with the Peter version played by Tobey Maguire and Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) from the first trilogy by Sam Raimi.  Garfield and Stone (who met and fell in love on the set of the first AMAZING SPIDERMAN and have been dating since) turn the couple they play into a pair that you can't help but adore and get pulled into the fray with.  Maguire and Dunst's duo, however, were such morose drips that the film bogged down everytime that story focused on them.  That doesn't happen in THE  AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2 because our central couple are an active, engaging, interesting one.  Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson from the Raimi trilogy were boring in comparison. 

So potent is Peter and Gwen's connection here, that director Marc Webb decided to completely remove Shailene Woodley's scenes as Mary Jane Watson - who  was originally supposed to be introduced in this installment.  Upon seeing the initial rough cut of the movie (including Woodley's scenes), Webb decided that having Mary Jane in the movie detracted from the Peter-Gwen romantic thread - and would have undermined the powerful finale.  He was right.  As much as I love Shailene Woodley and the fact that she was cast as Mary Jane, her presence would have taken away from Gwen's showcase.  With Mary Jane completely excised from the movie, Peter's heartbreak at the end is all the more poignant.  Reportedly, Woodley's introduction as Mary Jane will be saved for THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 3. 

Dane DeHaan and Jamie Foxx are also quite good in their villainous roles.  In keeping with Dr. Curt Connors from the first movie, these new baddies are essentially decent, damaged peope whom circumstances force into awful situations that finally push them past the point of no return.  DeHaan in particular, makes Harry's transformation from laissez-faire rich heir/playboy to the raging, vengeful Green Goblin, both sad and chilling.  Foxx also taps into Electro/Max Dillon's sense of isolation and abandonment that turns into explosive rage.  DeHaan and Foxx do themselves proud. 

Colm Feore, Felicity Jones, and especially Sally Field are all vivid and solid in their important supporting roles, but in the end, this movie is all about Peter and Gwen.  Without Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone's wonderful "cat-and-mouse" chemistry that they lend to their characters, this film would not have been as perfect as it is...

# 546 - CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (2014)

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (2014) **** out of *****  or 8 out of 10

( Steve Rogers, you look pretty good for a dinosaur.  I guess it helps that Chris Evans is playing you...)

CAST:   Chris Evans, Scarlett Johanssen, Robert Redford, Samuel L. Jackson, Sebastian Stan, Cobie Smulders, Emily Van Camp. 

DIRECTOR:  Anthony Russo & Joe Russo

WARNING:  Some SPOILERS and some damn good arguments to stay the hell out of Washington D.C. - straight ahead...

IT'S LIKE THIS:  When we last saw Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) in CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGERR, he had just been dug out of the frozen tundra of the Antarctic after being buried in ice for the last, oh, 60-plus years.  He then woke up and found himself smack-dab in the middle of Times Square, which already can be a bit overwhelming to someone born in the modern era - I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to someone who was born when Calvin Coolidge was in the White House.  Stevie must have shat his pants when he was that first towering billboard advertisement.  He was probably like: "What the fuck was is a SONY?"

Anyhow, if you folks recall from the first movie, Stevie was an 89-pound runt who joined the Army during World War II and became part of some super-soldier top-secret program which ultimately led him to becoming... ripped and buff as fuck.  Yup, bye-bye 89-pound runt, HE-LLO six-foot-one 220-pound stud muffin.  PAR-TAY!  Not surprisingly, Steve's new look earned him the moniker "Captain America" and he essentially became Superman, but without that red cape.  He also started a relationship with Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell), who loved him even when he was just that 89-pound runt.  He also lost best pal Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan) in the Swiss Alps while trying to defeat the evil organization Hydra.  And then, he was buried in that aforementioned ice pit in the North Pole - and froze his fine ass off for over half-a-century. 

Flash forward to 2014, where we find Steve is trying to adjust to life in 2014.  Not easy, considering every he grew up with is either dead or wearing Depends undergarments.  Then factor in how to use things like the Internet, Facebook, Netflix, cell phones, and those machines in rest rooms that dispense condoms, and you can imagine just how disoriented our boy Steve must feel.   All that, and he also has a challenging job at SHIELD - which is like MI-6 but filled with even more fine-ass people without DOWNTON ABBEY accents. 

Fortunately, several things happen to take Steve's mind off his fish-out-of-water travails: (1) his SHIELD mentor Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) is brutally killed; (2) well, that's pretty much it - biit isn't that bad enough?  Let's just say that Stevie may soon be wishing he was back in the square 1940s where the worst he had to worry about was Bucky stealing a girl from him at a dance.  Remember those? 

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW:  Who's behind the murder of Nick Fury?  And why was he killed?  Who can Steve count on to help him find out?  Natasha Romanov, AKA, Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson)?  Agent Maria Hill (Cobie Smulders)?  Sam Wilson, AKA, The Falcon (Anthony Mackie)?  Alexander Pierce AKA Robert Redford (um, Robert Redford)?  And who is the mysterious Winter Soldier who is now terrorizing the D.C. Metropolitan area?   Hmmmmmmm?

WHAT WE LIKED ABOUT THE MOVIE:  The cast is uniformly strong and the story has a nice sense of humor to balance out the taut thriller and action aspects of the script.  Robert Redford is especially compelling as Alexander Pierce, SHIELD's new chief. 

WHAT WE COULD'VE LIVED WITHOUT:  Anthony Mackie's Sam Wilson AKA Falcon isn't used as well as he should've been.  Perhaps he will be showcased better in the next AVENGERS film.   Also, the script is not as gracefully streamlined as the first CAPTAIN AMERICA film, with a few more twists and turns and over-the-top action than is probably necessary.  It's also lacking the solid emotional core that Peggy Carter's romance with Steve provided the first movie. 

AND THE "SEXIEST EYE CANDY" AWARD GOES TO:  A tie between Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan as... The Winter Soldier.

FINAL ANALYSIS:   While not as charming and emotionally-resonant as the first CAPTAIN AMERICA film, this sequel boasts a strong cast and a consistently entertaining (if also a bit over-complicated) ride.   The first film was very reminiscent of old-fashioned adventures like RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK and INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM - with superhero elements, and was also anchored by a sweet, surprisingly powerful "love that dare not speak its name" romance between Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers. 

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER, however, is set in 2014 and plays like a modern chase thriller, which is entirely appropriate.  However, as exciting as it is, this film just doesn't have the emotional staying power of the first movie.  Largely because we don't explore Steve's inner-workings through his relationship with his love interest Peggy - as we did in the first film.  Here, Steve has no clear love interest.  At various separate points in this movie, it seems like Steve has a simmering something  between Natasha Romanov, Agent Maria Hill, and even his neighbor Kate (played by Emily Van Camp).  However, the script is so focused on the action that it never slows down for any of these mini-threads to blossom into anything meaningful. 

By contrast, CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER was not afraid to slow the plot down to show the growing connection between Peggy and Steve.  All of this careful build-up resulted in an emotionally-powerful climax where Peggy and Steve must say one final good-bye over a radio as his plane crashes into the Antarctic.  In this movie, the one scene between Steve and a now-aged Peggy that could've given the film some gravity is rushed.  As a result, we end up with a thoroughly-entertaining thrill ride with very little heart.  Fortunately, everyone in the cast (especially Redford) is in top form, so it doesn't hurt the film as much as it coud've.  Just enough to keep it from rating as high as the first film. 

# 545 - NOAH (2014)

NOAH (2014) *** out of *****  or 6 out of 10

( Rusty, you will always be my Man - besides Andrew Garfield, of course...)

CAST:  Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Ray Winstone, Logan Lerman, Emma Watson, Douglas Booth.

DIRECTOR:  Darren Aronofsky

WARNING:  Some SPOILERS and some damn good arguments to stick to Sunday School versions of your favorite Bible Stories - straight ahead

IT'S LIKE THIS:  Even the most avowed Atheists know about the story of Noah and his ark.  You know... that big-ass vessel he built because of a divine message from, you know, up there?  The message basically came from God, and went a little something like:  "Y'all humans are bunch of backstabbing, gossipy, treacherous, sinning asswipes - so I'm going to wipe y'all off the face of the Earth.  But you and your family are exempt, my man Noah, and you must save all the animals of the world by building a big-ass ark because I'm going to flood the shit out of the world.  Any questions?"

Let's just say that when the Big Man Upstairs gives you a personal memo that reads like the one above, you don't exactly fuck around and lolly-gag.  Needless to say, our man Noah (Russell "I am aging like Fine Wine - emphasis on Fine" Crowe) sets about building said ark with the help of:  1) wife Naameh (Jennifer Connelly), (2) first-born son Shem (Douglas Booth); (3) second-born son Ham (Logan Lerman); 4) adopted daughter Ila (Emma Watson); and last but definitely the weirdest: (5) a shitload of craggy rock monsters who were supposedly angels at one point time (riiiiiiiiiight). 

All of Noah's ark-building doesn't go unnoticed to the surrounding locals, especially to decadent, hedonistic King Tubal-Cain (Ray Winstone).  Let's just say that Tubal-Cain pretty much epitomizes the reason God wants to eight-six humanity: he's a colossal asshole.  And sure enough, when all the strange omens and atomspheric anomalies begin to freak everyone out, Tubal-Cain tries to strongarm his way onto Noah's ark.  Except, as we mentioned before, Noah is played by Russell Crowe, who doesn't suffer fools gladly.  Let's just also say that Tubal-Cain kind of gets his ass handed to him. 

Just a wee bit pissed off at being told by Mr. Gladiator, er, Noah to buzz right the fuck off, Tubal-Cain and his followers crawl away and set up camp just outside Noah's crib so they can monitor what's going on.  Soon, however, the rains come.  And come.  And come and come and come and come and come.  And come and come even more.   If I'm making it sound like the Heavens are jizzing majorly onto the Earth, well, that's exactly what it looks like.   Torrential rains don't even begin to cover it.  Anyone see where this is all going?  Good thing Noah Crowe and his posse have an ark.  Ahem.

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW:  What happens when the rains don't stop cumming, er, coming?   Will the "Great Flood" that the Big Man Upstairs warned Noah about finally unfold?  Will the Ark that Noah's family (and those bizarro rock monsters) built save them all and withstand the rising waters?  Will Tubal-Cain and the other sinners storm the Ark and try to find a way onboard?  Will Noah just let them all die?   And the most important question: how will the  insides of the Ark smell with a gazillion animals shitting everywhere? 

WHAT WE LIKED ABOUT THE MOVIE:  Rusty Crowe, Jen Connelly, Emma Watson, Douglas Booth, Ray Winstone, and Logan Lerman are one talented (not to mention attractive) bunch.  Crowe is his usual formidably intense self and admirably dives into his portrayal.  Not a surprise.

WHAT WE COULD'VE LIVED WITHOUT:  The whole icky love triangle between brothers Shem and Ham - and their adopted sister Ila.  I guess they rolled differently back in the Old Testament.  And what the hell is up with those wacky rock monsters? 

AND THE "SEXIEST EYE CANDY" AWARD GOES TO:  Crowe.  Russell Crowe.   Like there was ever any doubt.    The man just gets better with age. 

BUT, SERIOUSLY:   The marketing campaign for NOAH has tried to paint in the same light as Russell Crowe's 2000 classic, GLADIATOR.  The casting of Crowe in the title role is also quite inspired as the man is simply unafraid of going all the way in his performances - which is why we love him.  In the end, however, NOAH is no GLADIATOR, despite the trailers and poster campaign.  

NOAH is far too dark and so unpleasant, that there are times that it ceases to become entertaining.   Director and co-writer Darren Aronofsky (BLACK SWAN, PI) introduces such bizarre elements as the rock monsters who are fallen angels and spends an inordinate amount of time emphasizing the borderline-incestuous triangle between Noah's sons and his adopted daughter.   Then there's Noah's obsessive belief that the Creator wants no human survivors and essentially threatens to kill the pregnant Ila's baby when it is born.  All in all, this most definitely not a family movie.

At least the castmembers are all solid and competent.  Jennifer Connelly, who starred with Crowe in 2001's A BEAUTIFUL MIND, is fine as Noah's loyal wife, Naaleh, whose devotion to her husband is severely tested later in the film.  Logan Lerman, Douglas Booth, and Emma Watson are okay as the younger members of Noah's clan, while Ray Winstone delivers another seductive villain in the form of the  treacherous Tubal-Cain. 

Ultimately, though, this movie belongs to its title character and the terrific actor who plays him.  Crowe's brave, intense performance elevates NOAH above the  average mark, and deserves to be seen just for his star turn.  It's not the kind of movie you would want to see again, unless you wanted to see the wonderful Russell Crowe in action.  Had anyone else been cast as Noah, this film would rate an average score (**1/2, or 5 out of 10) at best.