ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE (1964 - BOND FLICK # 6 / ACTION / THRILLER / ESPIONAGE) ****1/2 out of *****
(Hold the presses, folks: James Bond's been taken off the market - well, at least, for a few hours...)
CAST: George Lazenby, Diana Rigg, Telly Savalas, Gabriele Ferzetti, Bernard Lee, Desmond Llewellyn, Ilse Steppat, Angela Scoular, Joanna Lumley, Catherine Von Schell.
DIRECTOR: Peter R. Hunt
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and jaw-dropping plot developments (Bond marrying, ahem) straight ahead.
IT'S LIKE THIS: James Bond now looks a lot less like Sean Connery and hell of a lot more like George Lazenby. While you folks debate whether or not that is a good thing, allow me to break down the plot of ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE: our favorite British poonhound Bond is on assignment in Portugal and Switzerland and once again runs afoul of that nefarious fat fuck Blofeld (this time essayed by Kojak, er, Telly Savalas). Meanwhile, elsewhere, a certain dazzling, mysterious beauty named Teresa "Tracy" DiVicenzo (Diana Rigg) is preparing to nab that most elusive of elusive prizes: Bond's penis all to herself. Yes, folks, this is the Bond movie where our favorite pussy marauder finally gets nabbed by a wily, seductive, dangerous, soulful chick. And, yes, right around the moment Bond proposes to Tracy in a remote barn in the middle of a blizzard (don't ask), hell freezes over.
So... what is that rotund asswipe Blofeld up to this time? What is up with the ten hot chicks that he's got holed up in his "allergy clinic" on an isolated Swiss mountaintop? Is he really treating their allergies? Or are they unwitting pawns in yet another one of this bald bastard's unending cycle of world domination plans? And what about Bond? Has he really finally met his match in Tracy? Will he really marry her? And how will that union end? Even if they are soulmates who finally do stop running from one another and meet each other halfway, can anyone really be married to James Bond without becoming a target for the bad guys? And the most important question of all: why did you have to step down, Sean Connery? WHY?!?!?
Oh, well... time for more pre-New Year's cocktails...
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Many fans agree that ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE is an atypical and near-perfect Bond film. It is atypical, because it does the unthinkable: allow Bond's heart to finally be captured by a woman. And the fact that Tracy DiVicenzo is clearly very deserving of the title of "Mrs. Bond" is even more delightful - Tracy is my #2 favorite Bond Girl of all time (she was my # 1 until Natalya Simonova appeared in GOLDENEYE). Contrast Tracy's plot thread with a similar one in CASINO ROYALE (2006), where Bond falls in love with Vesper Lynd. In my opinion (and I am not alone), that romance didn't work at all because Vesper was such a dull and uninteresting character and played so opaquely by Eva Green, that Bond's attachment was inexplicable. Diana Rigg, on the other hand, takes the role of Tracy - and runs with it. Rigg understands that in order for Bond to believably fall in love with her, the audience must fall in love with her, too. Rigg turns Tracy into a dazzling mix of sexy audaciousness, sharp intelligence, and unexpected vulnerability, and makes her one of the most memorable and exciting figures in the Bond canon.
Thankfully, in ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE, we can understand 100% why an inveterate player like Bond would fall for Tracy: she's exactly like him (seductive, frisky, driven, unpredictable, intelligent, ruthless, cunning, soulful) - and can see right into his heart. Not only does she understand him, but she also accepts him for who he is. That is the true test of love: accepting someone for who they are and not trying to change them. Bond and Tracy's soaring but short-lived romance is one of the most powerful (and tragic) relationships in not only Bond history, but cinematic history, as well. Tracy was such a compelling character, that when the script for THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH was being written, the producers instructed the screenwriters to model the role of Elektra King after Tracy. They wanted a sort of "Tracy-gone-very-bad" when it came to Elektra. Both characters share many traits that Bond falls for: courageous, creative, brilliant, driven, resourceful, compassionate, energetic, soulful, ruthless, deadly. Except Elektra went all the way to the dark side. Nevertheless, the producers wanted to give the sense of Bond thinking he's found Tracy again - but Elektra turns out to be a villain.
The plot is also refreshingly down-to-Earth and believable in comparison to the fun but highly implausible YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE from 1967. Much like grounded entries like THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH and CASINO ROYALE followed over-the-top entries like TOMORROW NEVER DIES and DIE ANOTHER DAY, this film brings the action to a relatable level. There are times when it feels like you are watching a straigthforward action/thriller and not just a Bond film - a first, at the time, for the series. Telly Savalas and Ilse Steppat make for formidable baddies, with Savalas bringing his own distinctive flair to the iconic role of Blofeld. Gabriele Ferzetti is solid as Tracy's Italian Count father, while Bernard Lee and Desmond Llewellyn are their usual fine selves as M and Q, Bond's loyal coterie.
We mentioned earlier that the film is near-perfect. If the movie has a flaw, it's Bond himself. Or, rather, the actor that plays him. After YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE, Sean Connery decided to step down from the role that made him world-famous. The producers decided to have an Australian model with very little acting experience named George Lazenby take over the role. In my opinion, this was a mistake. Lazenby is not bad, but he pales in comparison to Connery, to say the least. Lazenby is very handsome - but star quality and X-factor charisma are not about looks. They go way beyond just looking good. There are many highly attractive people who are blank and don't have the first clue of how to hold the silver screen, while there are just as many people who seem average or so-so looking - but ignite the screen with their "presence." Then there are people are who are stunningly attractive AND also electrify a room when they enter it - which is a dynamite combination. Bottom line: Lazenby is not one of them. Sure, he is quite handsome to look at, but he doesn't have the sexy aura and dangerously unpredictable quality that Connery could unleash so easily and without even thinking. If Connery had remained in the role in this film, the movie would've been all the more powerful. Imagine Connery's thoroughly rakish Bond being undone and seduced by Tracy. It would've been wonderful and even breathtaking.
Still, Lazenby doesn't hinder the film. All the other elements are so right on point, that they make up for his relative blandness in the central role. All in all, ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE is an excellent Bond film that paved the way for similarly serious and tragic outings like THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH and CASINO ROYALE. Even with its central flaw, it is classic Bond – and a classic in its own right.
