CROCODILE DUNDEE (1985 - ROMANTIC COMEDY) **** out of *****
(Here comes the Country Mouse - and he's a goofy Aussie!)
CAST: Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, Mark Blum, David Gulpilil, Michael Lombard, John Meillon, Reginald Veljohnson.
DIRECTOR: Peter Faiman
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some seriously funny Fish out of his element - straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: Last summer, I was out mountain biking with a friend we will call "Pretty Boy". Pretty Boy spent all of his early life in a smallish university town in the South, and prior to moving to the West Coast for work five years ago, had never been to a real city. You know: one with an actual skyline and multiple zip codes and crack dealers in certain neighborhood. This became quite apparent with the child-like enthusiasm and glee he would display when encountering such a remarkable and wondrous thing as... a light rail transit train. Or you average gargantuan shopping mall. Or a Barnes and Noble. "We don't have any of these where I come from!" he would exclaim like a kid let loose in a Toys R Us. And I swear to Jehosaphat nothing is sexier than a 30-year old guy who acts like kid let loose in a Toys R Us.
So one day, we are walking through the lobby of an office tower with a particularly long escalator rising up ahead of us, and Pretty Boy jumped on that thing like it literally was the Stairway To Heaven. While uttering his now-catchphrase: "We don't have any of these where I come from!" When we got to the top of the escalator, I turned to him and said, "Whenever I'm around you, I feel like Sue Charlton from CROCODILE DUNDEE." Needless to say, he didn't get the reference, so I had to force his hick ass to watch CROCODILE DUNDEE that night. Needless to say, he loved it. But then again, a 30-year old man who acts like a kid let loose in a Toys R Us will always love everything. Which is why I love him.
Anyhow, those of you who saw CROCODILE DUNDEE know that Sue Charlton (Linda Kozlowski) is the intensely driven American photojournalist from New York who travels to the outback of Australia to investigate the story of an Australian man who miraculously survived a brutal crocodile attack. He turns out to be a laid-back goofball named Mick "Crocodile" Dundee (Paul Hogan). Sue, the hard-charging NYC writer, fits in the outback the same way Pretty Boy fits in a city with at least one building with more than five floors in it: not at all. However, Sue, being a typical determined writer who also happens to be a major hottie, cajoles Mick to take her to the spot where he was attacked so she can take pictures for her newspaper. Mick, being a typical red-blooded male, says something along the chivalrous lines of "Fuck, YEAH!!!"
Before you know it, Mick is dragging Sue through the wilderness of the Australian outback - and generally making her realize why millions of people live in big cities: indoor plumbing, hot water, and easy access to Italian food. There's a reason why the Outback is empty, folks - it sucks to live there. And this is something our gal Sue learns pretty quickly. Fortunately, before all that heat can frizz her hair and fry her skin any more than it already has, they reach the spot where Mick was attacked by the fearsome croc. Sue takes pictures of it, then goes back to NYC to write her story and publish it in the papers.
The End.
Okay, not really. What really happens next is Mick lets it slip that he's never been to a big city, and Sue is immediately intrigued. You see, she grew up in the Big Apple, and knows no other home. Naturally, she thinks of Mick as a bizarre, but also highly attractive, freak of nature. Much like how I felt about Pretty Boy when I first met him and found out that he thought the Space Needle was just an urban legend. But I digress.... Anyhow, Sue, being a clever and resourceful writer who is also a major hottie, once again cajoles Mick to come to New York to not only see what a big city is really like, but also because it would be a nice twist to the story that she is writing about him. Mick, being the typical red-blooded male that he is, once again says, "Fuck YEAH!!!"
So the shoe goes on the other foot, and Mick follows Sue to New York which, let's face it, is probably more fucked-up than the Australian Outback could ever be. As you can imagine, a wide-eyed, innocent rube with an abundant sense of humor like Mick Dundee walking into the wilds of the Big Apple, is kind of like Ron Jeremy walking into a Bible Study session. In other words: wrong place, very wrong time. Sure enough, Mick is, yes, walking around like a 30-year old guy let loose in a Toys R Us. For starters, the following occur: (1) he sees a black (read: African-American) dude, and immediately asks the fella what "tribe" he belongs to; (2) he encounters a couple of hookers, and wonders what two pretty ladies are doing around the streets so late at night with so very little clothes on and so very much make-up plastered on their faces; (3) he crosses path with your average toilet bowl - and immediately thinks it's for cleaning his shoes; and last, but definitely the most fucked-up: (4) he encounters a couple of drag queens - and promptly cups their packages to confirm whether they are male or female. You gotta love a guy who cuts right to the chase.
Anyhow, while Mick is turning New York on its ear, Sue is busy writing her story about the Aussie Country Mouse Who Came To The Big Apple. Unfortunately, she is also falling in love with this simple dork called Mick Dundee. Which is really problematic, because she is involved with Walter (Mark Blum), her high-powered editor at the newspaper she works for. To make matters worse, Mark proposes to her, and she reluctantly accepts. Even though it is clear that she has fallen hard for our hero Mick. This is evidenced by the scene where Mick scares off some good old-fashioned NYC muggers by brandishing his trusty jungle bolo in their punk-ass faces. Right after, Sue turns to Mick and says "Why do I always feel like Jane from the Tarzan movies when I'm with you?" Girl, I feel your pain.
So... how will this end? Can a simple, rough-edged Country Mouse like Mick Dundee and a glamorous, intense City Mouse like Sue Charlton have a future together? What about Walter? Will Sue keep her word and marry him? Or will she follow her heart and choose Mick? Is Walter worth marrying anyway? And if Mick and Sue do end up together, who will relocate? Will Sue move to the Australian outback? Or will Mick move to NYC to wreak more havoc in the streets?
Whatever. Sue, let's gather up our boys and do a double-date, shall we?
BUT, SERIOUSLY: I remember when CROCODILE DUNDEE was first released way back in 1986. It was a small, fairly low-budget Australian film that most folks were expecting to do so-so business, at best. But that didn't happen. Instead, it exploded. The little film with "that Aussie guy from the commercials" whom most people had never heard about, suddenly took the United States and the rest of the world by storm - and far exceeded everyone's expectations.
When the final box-office receipts were tallied, CROCODILE DUNDEE was a bonafide international smash hit - and one of the highest-grossing films of 1986. And it all boils down to two things: (1) the simple, almost old-fashioned way in which the story unfolds, which was a refreshing change from the over-plotted and over-produced movies that were - and still are - the norm; and most importantly: (2) Paul Hogan's undeniable charisma and comedic talents - which cannot be overstated. The guy is wonderful.
CROCODILE DUNDEE is essentially a "Double Fish Out Of Water" story. First, Sue Charlton is out of her element as the big city photojournalist in the Australian outback. Then, later, when the story moves to New York City, it is Mick's turn to be the fish-out-of-water. Most of the film's comedic gold comes from this set-up. Watching Sue and Mick find their respective ways through the new worlds they find themselves in is indeed quite amusing. There are many classic moments here, mostly built around Mick's adventures (or misadventures) in the Big Apple. Pretty much all of Mick's encounters with the "locals" generates some serious laughter.
A lot this has to do with Mick's inherent simplicity and sweetness - and how hopelessly complex and bizarre New York and its inhabitants are in comparison. But the fact that he is a simple guy does not make him a simpleton. Mick has some real smarts, backbone, and conviction, and in combination with his boundless sense of fun and adventure, this becomes a killer combination. His is an intelligence that is pure and free of any artifice or pretension, and his humor is similarly open with the right mix of innocence and mischief. Put simply, he's a great character - and Paul Hogan nails his every line and scene. Hogan vividly shows us the striking combination of boy and man within Mick Dundee, and it is more than just a remarkable comic performance. It's a remarkable performance, period.
It's not hard to see why Sue Charlton would fall for Mick Dundee - and also, why Linda Kozlowski would fall for Paul Hogan. Kozlowski and Hogan met and fell in love during the filming of this movie - and they are still together to this day, over 27 years later. CROCODILE DUNDEE takes on an added layer of romance when you realize that, as you are watching these two characters fall in love, you are also watching the actors playing them also fall in love for real. Not hard to believe, considering Hogan and Kozlowski displays some real chemistry here.
Speaking of Sue Charlton and Linda Kozlowski, it's really these two who are at the heart of CROCODILE DUNDEE. Most people think that this movie is a comedy at its core - but it is really a love story. And it is not Mick's story - as many people think - but it is really Sue's. In essence, this is the tale of a sharp professional city girl who travels to the other side of the world, meets the last guy on Earth she thought she would ever fall for - and falls in love with him. And in doing so, she is forced to rethink what she wants out of life. Sue Charlton is one of my favorite film characters, and I love how Kozlowski plays her. In the hands of a less thoughtful and clever actress, Sue could have easily become a brittle and unpleasant bitch. However, Kozlowski doesn't just make Sue intense, outspoken, and determined - she also makes her funny, surprisingly laid-back, and almost shy and tentative at times.
Towards the end of the movie, there's a nice image of Sue in her office just staring absently at her computer screen as she struggles to write her story on Mick - whom she has fallen for by that point - and Walter comes up behind her and catches her off-guard. It's a great non-verbal scene that effectively sets up Sue's dilemma - does she choose the guy that polite society says she should marry - or does she choose the guy she really loves? And of course, this movie has one of my favorite finales of all time: Sue running through the streets of New York to keep Mick from leaving and catching up to him on a very crowded subway platform where she... well, you'll see. It's this combo of hard and soft tones that really make the character of Sue Charlton sing. Just as you have to understand why Sue would fall for Mick, you have to also understand why Mick would fall for Sue. And with Linda Kozlowski's nicely nuanced and subtle performance, we understand why.
After the success of CROCODILE DUNDEE 2 in 1988, Hogan and Kozlowski never really managed to recreate the box office bonanza of their first two movies together. Nevertheless, they are still happily married today - over 27 years after first meeting each other. As far as I'm concerned, that is the real success. And we dedicate this review to them. Hope you have many more years together, Mick and Sue...
... and to Pretty Boy. : )
