THE FINAL GIRLS (2015 - HORROR SPOOF / COMEDY) **** out of ***** OR 8 out of 10 (Open season on Movie Nerds....)
CAST: Taissa Farmiga, Malin Akerman, Alexander Ludwig, Alie Shawkat, Nina Dobrev, Thomas Middleditch, Adam DeVine, Angela Trimbur, Troy Thompson, Chloe Bridges. DIRECTOR: Todd Strauss-Schulson WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some compelling reasons to go on a FRIDAY THE 13TH/HALLOWEEN movie marathon - straight ahead....
IT'S LIKE THIS: In this mash-up of FRIDAY THE 13TH, HALLOWEEN, and THE PURPLE ROSE OF CAIR0, five teens finds themselves "magically" transported from the theater audience of a Slasher Movie Marathon - and into the film itself. The movie they were watching is called, erm, CAMP BLOODBATH, and let's just say that it's no pleasant romantic comedy. In other words, not the kind of movie I'd want to be swept into. Give me DIVERGENT or PRETTY WOMAN anyday. Anyhow, our five unfortunate teens are: (1) Max Cartwright (Taissa Farmiga), nice girl and daughter of dead Horror Movie Scream Queen Amanda Cartwright (Malin Akerman) who also stars in the movie so mother and daughter sort of havew a reunion (don't think about it - it'll give you a headache); (2) Vicki Summers (Nina Dobrev), bitchy former friend of Max's who has a tonque sharper than an expensive Santoku knife; (3) Chris Briggs (Alexander Ludwig), hot blond jock who is also a nice guy with a serious woody for Max; (4) Duncan (Thomas Middleditch), uber-movie nerd who eats, breathes, and shits movie trivia - ahem; and last but certainly the goofiest (5) Gertie Michaels, Max's quirky best friends who should really rethink that perm. Max, Chris, Vicki, Duncan, and Gertie suddenly find themselves rubbing elbows with the ill-fated camp counselors of CAMP BLOODBATH, which include (1) Curt (Adam DeVine), asshole who claims to be a jock but has an even bigger potbelly than me; (2) Tina (Angela Trimbur), token whore whose hands are constantly trying to rip her own clothes off; (3) Paula (Chloe Bridges), designated "Final Girl" - AKA the last person standing who battles the killer to the death; (4) Blake (Troy Thompson), token ethnic character to make the producers look like they care about diversity; and last but definitely most important: (5) Nancy (Amanda Cartwright AKA Malin Akerman), virginal goody-goody who the sharp-eyed and long-memoried among you will note is played by Max's dead actress mother. Yes, like I said, it's enough to give you a headache. Oh, and then there's the killer, Billy Murphy (Dan Norris), who shows up and makes it clear he doesn't differentiate between a movie character - or a real person sucked into a movie. Mayhem (and hilarity) ensues... THE DUDE OR DUDETTE MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: That title would have to go to the badass mother-and-daughter team of Amanda and Max. Go, Final Girls.... MOST INTENTIONALLY SCARY SCENE: There aren't any TRULY SCARY scenes here since this is most decidely a comedy. But if we were reaching for something - ANYTHING - I guess it would be Max and Amanda's final confrontation with Billy Murphy. MOST UNINTENTIONALLY SCARY SCENE: Curt stripping to his tighty-reddies, and displaying a body that, shall we say, should see much less donuts and far more gym time. Meow... AND THE "EYE CANDY AWARD" GOES TO: Ladies, you are all fine, but I'm going to have to go with blond hunk Alexander Ludwig on this one. All the way. Par-tay! INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: What the hell caused Max, Chris, Duncan, Vicki, and Gertie to be pulled into CAMP BLOODBATH? And is Max right when she says that all they have to do is stick to Paula, who is the movie's "Final Girl", if they want to survive past the end credits? Or has their appearance in the movie already changed its outcome? Who will be the new "Final Girl" ? Tina? Gertie? Vicki? Max? Amanda? That fruit Duncan? Yikes.... FINAL ANALYSIS: In 1996, the Slasher Sub-Genre roared back to life with the release and success of Wes Craven's SCREAM. That innovative, clever film ultimately not only revived slasher films inspired by the likes of FRIDAY THE 13TH, HALLOWEEN, and A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, but also led to a revitalization of the entire Horror Genre as a whole, which is still going strong today, nearly 20 years later. However, with all the kudos that SCREAM gets as a horror film, we often forget it has a very sharp sense of humor. While it most definitely is first and foremost a scary movie, it occasionally leavens the proceedings with a self-aware wit, honoring the conventions of the Slasher Sub-Genre while also subverting and ultimately transcending them at the same time. Our next review, THE FINAL GIRLS, is cut from the same cloth as SCREAM: a self-aware deconstruction of the typical Slasher Film. However, while SCREAM was a horror film with a healthy sense of humor that never took away from the scares, THE FINAL GIRLS is unabashedly an intelligently ridiculous comedy that uses those tropes primarily as gags and yuks. Needless to say, THE FINAL GIRLS doesn't want to scare you at all - it wants to make you laugh out loud and often, and it succeeds beautifully. The "movie-within-a-movie" premise was clearly inspired by THE PURPLE ROSE OF CAIRO from 1984, although Woody Allen would never have predicted that his genteel film would inspire a slasher movie. Director Todd Strauss-Schulson adeptly keeps the pace brisk and engaging, aided immeasurably by this top cast. Malin Akerman is easily the vet in the group, and acquits herself well, while rising star Taissa Farmiga provides a strong central presence. Akerman and Farmiga are terrific as the mother-daughter team of Max and Amanda Cartwright, and their story arc provides THE FINAL GIRLS with unexpected pathos and emotional depth - again, something you wouldn't expect from a Slasher Spoof. Alexander Ludwig, Thomas Middleditch, Nina Dobrev, Alia Shawkat, Adam DeVine, Angela Trimbur, and Troy Thompson, are all spot-on in their supporting roles - with not a single weak link among them. Middleditch is particularly amusing as a movie fanboy who secretly wants to be the Final Girl in a horror movie, while Trimbur is a comedic standout as the stereotypical Horror Movie Whore who, for once, uses her questionable skills to help trap the killer. You have to see it to believe it. I was in tears from laughing so hard. All in all, THE FINAL GIRLS is a very good comedy that is also a loving tribute to the Classic Slasher Movies of yesterday. Well done, all!
THE VISIT (2015 - HORROR / MYSTERY / THRILLER) **** out of ***** OR 8 out of 10 (Time to rethink that rural vacation with the grandparents, morons....)
CAST: Olivia DeJonge, Ed Oxenbould, Deanna Dunagan, Peter McRobbie, Kathryn Hahn. DIRECTOR: M. Night Shyamalan WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some compelling reasons not to go visit relatives - straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: After a difficult divorce, single mommy Paula (Kathryn Hahn) decides to send her two teenage kids, Becca (Olivia DeJonge) and Tyler (Ed Oxenbould), to their grandma and grandpa in the country for a week. Paula hopes that Becca and Tyler will be rejuvenated by the experience, especially since they've never even met their grandparents. Anyhow, Paula packs the kids onto a train and send them on their merry way. At a rural Pennsylvania train depot, Nana (Deanna Dunagan) and Pop Pop (Peter McRobbie) await their precious dumplings - and shower them with hugs and kisses when they arrive. At around that point, shits goes south - slowly at first, then increasingly faster and faster. Not to put too a fine point on it, but it gradually shapes up that Nana and Pop Pop are kind of weird - and not in that entertaining sort of the way. First, they insist that Becca and Tyler do not leave their rooms after 9:30 PM each night - under no circumstances. Second, strange knocking sounds fill the house at night. Third, Nana keeps trying to get Olivia to crawl into the oven to clean it, smiling like a nutball. Fourth, it appears that Pop Pop is keeping a gross collection of something in the storage shed. Fifth, it's looking like this weekend in the country is suddenly the Grandmother of all bad ideas. Ruh-roh, Shaggy!!!! THE DUDE OR DUDETTE MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: Since Olivia and Tyler seem incapable of just getting the fuck out of Dodge when the getting is good, it seems this award must go to Paula. Then again, what was she doing sending these kids alone to grandparents they'd never even met in the first place? Doh! MOST INTENTIONALLY SCARY SCENE: The final twist revelation. Whoa. Didn't see that one coming. MOST UNINTENTIONALLY SCARY SCENE: The scene where Pop Pop pushes something really, really, REALLY GROSS into Tyler's face. Also the most unintentionally HILARIOUS scene. I know I laughed my ass off. AND THE "EYE CANDY AWARD" GOES TO: This is not that kind of movie. INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: What the hell is up with Nana and Pop Pop? What secret stuff do they do every night after 9:30 PM? What caused Paula to keep her distance from them all these years? And why oh why did Paula send off her kids to meet her parents without even going with them? Bad Mother! FINAL ANALYSIS: M. Night Shymalan made promising films like THE SIXTH SENSE, UNBREAKABLE, SIGNS, and THE VILLAGE early in his career. These movies are all edgy, ominous thrillers but also surprisingly moving and genuine explorations of unexpected humanity. Even his "weaker" stuff like THE LADY IN THE WATER and THE HAPPENING manage this dichotomy well. Bottom line: M. Night Shymalan knows how to combine suspense with character in a way that recalls Steven Spielberg and Alfred Hitchcock. His latest film is thankfully one that hews more to his stronger stuff. THE VISIT did not look promising to us at first, given that it is yet another in the tireseome "Found Footage Sub-Genre" of horror. Besides THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT and some of the PARANORMAL ACTIVITY films, this sub-genre has been paying increasingly low returns in recent years, both in quality and box-office. Fortunately, Shymalan elevates the Found Footage tropes and uses them to tell a story that is both scary and unexpectedly poignant in equal measure. To discuss the trappings of THE VISIT would risk revealing its big twist. Yes, Shymalan has been associated with twist endings ever since his most famous example in THE SIXTH SENSE. The one here, though, is actually quite frightening, and not just clever - it could conceivably happen in real life. I will say no more, except to state that Shymalan, like Hitchcock and Spielberg before him, is a master at the slow-burn build-up of suspense - and plays with audience expectations like a maestro conducting an orchestra. The entire cast is strong and - with the exception of Kathryn Hahn as Paula - are all unknowns. This lack of familiarity with the main players actually helps us accept their characters as real people, instead of actors playing roles. THE VISIT would've been much less effective if well-known stars had been in it, because it would be hard for the audience to separate them from their "personae". Ultimately, THE VISIT is a modest but solid triumph for Shymalan. Being a Horror and Thriller afficionado, it's not easy to surprise me. This movie did just that.
THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. (2015 - SPY THRILLER / ACTION / COMEDY) ***1/2 out of ***** OR 7 out of 10 (Yank Vs. Russkie - let the games begin....)
CAST: Henry Cavill, Armie Hammer, Alicia Vikander, Elizabeth Debicki, Hugh Grant, Jared Harris. DIRECTOR: Guy Ritchie WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some amusing wannabe-Bond antics straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: In our previous review for the stupendously wonderful MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: ROGUE NATION, we discussed how every few years we seem to have a "Spy Dick Measuring Contest" between Ethan Hunt and James Bond. Three years ago we had SKYFALL vs MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: GHOST PROTOCOL. This year, we have SPECTRE vs MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: ROGUE NATION. On top of that, though, we have a little upstart wanting to get in on the action, like the pesky youngest brother trying to hang with the two older brothers. That "youngest brother" is our next review, THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E., a big-screeen version of the series of the same name that ran for a few seasons in the late 60s and early 70s. I should note that Ian Fleming, who gave birth to James Bond (not literally, dopes) also gave birth to Napoleon Solo and Ilya Kuryakin, the two wanna-be Bonds from THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. Anyhow, this movie is basically about Solo (Henry Cavill) and Kuryakin (Hammer) trying to outsmart a tall, sexy Italian countess, Victoria Vinciguerra (Elizabeth Debicki), and keep her from using a stolen nuke to, well, I guess nuke someplace. Also swept into the melee is pixie-ish German auto-mechanic Gaby (Alicia Vikander). Clearly, she's supposed to be the tomboy counterpoint to Victoria's chic elegance - and boy is she ever. Imagine the scrappy Dr. Christmas Jones from THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH in her tank top, shorts, and workboots standing next to the chilly sexiness of Elektra King in her purple lace bodice/satin skirt, and you have an idea of what director Guy Ritchie is going for with his two leading ladies. Anyway, Solo and Kuryakin try to use Gaby to infiltrate Victoria's inner circle to figure what our Elektra King Lite villainess is up to. I don't have to tell you that it doesn't go too well. What with Solo and Kuryakin constantly forgetting the mission to bicker like two gay lovers who've been married for a decade. Men. THE DUDE OR DUDETTE MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: Equal parts Solo and Kuryakin. I wish I could say Gaby brings something to the table, but until very late in the game she's basically just chilling on the sidelines, texting or something. And given that this flick is set in the late 1960s waaaaaay before texting was invented, that's saying a whole lot, isn't it? Talk about an easy paycheck, Alicia. MOST INTENTIONALLY EXCITING SCENE: The final chase scene involving our trio of heroes trying to stop the lovely Victoria from nuking the shit out of Peoria or something. MOST UNINTENTIONALLY EXCITING SCENE: Victoria drugging Solo's drink and pacing like a sexy cat circling its prey as he loses consciousness. Yowza! AND THE "EYE CANDY AWARD" GOES TO: Visually, Henry Cavill is perfect. But he has the screen presence of a wet mop. Armie Hammer is arguably not as aesthetically cute as Cavill, but he's definitely got tons more personality, so he wins the male side of this contest. Speaking of wet mops, Elizabeth Debicki takes Alicia Vikander by the collar and cleans the floor with her - the runs off with the female side of the award. In her sleep. Go, Liz! INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: What is Victoria up to? What does she plan to do with the missing nuke? Will Solo and Kuryakin be able to stop her? Will Gaby actually do something useful besides pout and jump up and down on the hotel bed? Will this end in nuclear annihilation? What the hell is up with Alicia Vikander's wardrobe in this movie? Is she supposed to be a nutty schoolgirl? FINAL ANALYSIS: I'm not too familiar with the TV show from the 60s/70s that THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. is based on, but the big-screen version is technically-well made and diverting entertainment that is helped considerably by some strong supporting work from Elizabeth Debicki and Hugh Grant, and a solid co-starring turn by Armie Hammer. Henry Cavill and Alicia Vikander, while okay, never really make their roles sing, the way Hammer, Debicki, and Grant do.
Also, Guy Ritchie brings such a breezy, assured style to the proceedings that any weak spots posed by Cavill and Vikander's lack of "ooomph" are easily papered over. THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. aims for the effortless charm of the early Bond films (not surprising since Ian Fleming helped create the series) and comes very close, indeed. It's solid spy entertainment with the right touches of light humor. It's been rumored that Cavill meant for his role as Napoleon Solo to be viewed by the Bond producers as an unofficial audition for the part of James Bond that Daniel Craig is also rumored to be getting weary of. If so, Cavill may need to try again, because he doesn't so much as embody the part of a suave spy, but impersonate it as if he's doing a skit. In short, you can always seeing him acting. However, he's acceptable enough not to hurt THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. If someone with stronger acting chops (and not just perfect looks) was hired for the role of Napoleon Solo, Armie Hammer would've had a stronger foil and the film would be more than just solid entertainment. Oh, well....
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: ROGUE NATION (2015 - SPY THRILLER / ACTION) ****1/2 out of ***** OR 9 out of 10 (Ethan, meet Ilsa. Ilsa, meet Ethan. Let the games begin...)
CAST: Tom Cruise, Rebecca Ferguson, Ving Rhames, Alec Baldwin, Simon Pegg, Jeremy Renner, Sean Harris. DIRECTOR: Christopher McQuarrie WARNING: Some SPOILERS and very good reasons for James Bond to be worried - straight ahead.
IT'S LIKE THIS: Every few years, it seems our two favorite super-spies, Brit James Bond and Yank Ethan Hunt, seem hell-bent on engaging in a colossal dick-measuring contest to see who is Top Dick, er, Top Spy around the world. In 2012, SKYFALL and MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: GHOST PROTOCOL squared off to see whose, erm, member was more golden. Even though, SKYFALL made more money than MIGP globally, the truth is both films were equally good. Now give it a rest and put your penises away, guys. Alas, it's three years later and the Espionage Dick-Measuring Olympics begins anew in 2015. Yes, folks, this summer sees the release of the next Ethan Hunt MISSION IMPOSSIBLE epic, subtitled ROGUE NATION. Sure enough, not too far behind on its heels for a November release is the next James Bond adventure, promisingly titled SPECTRE (ahem). Gee, what's that sound? Sounds an awful lot like zippers being yanked down with resolve again. Anyhow, this time around, Ethan finds himself running afoul of the "Syndicate" - a shadow organization that is made up of disavowed former operatives (read: spies gone very, very bad) who seek to undermine global order and you, know, fuck shit up. The Syndicate is headed by Solomon Lane (Sean Harris), who must have popped out of the womb already looking like a total baddie, undoubtedly scaring the shit out of the docs in the delivery room. Further complicating Ethan and his cronies' efforts to bring down Lane are their own people: CIA asshole Alan Hunley (Alec Baldwin) is sure the Impossible Mission Force (IMF) is simply concocting the Syndicate to justify their existence. Ha! Even more vexing is the sexy, mysterious Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson), who can't seem to run away from Ethan fast enough - but yet is always the first person by his side, ready to help him, whenever shit hits the fan and everyone else goes running for cover to save their own asses. I think these two are going to have to sit down and have a heart-to-heart about their, um, relationship. That is, when they are not shimmying down the face of tall buildings while being pursued by police or enemy agents. Ah, love.... THE DUDE OR DUDETTE MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: Everyone on Ethan's team pretty much steps up when needed. However, this award must go to Ilsa - who saves Ethan so many times, I was starting to wonder if this was really her movie. Go, girl... MOST INTENTIONALLY EXCITING SCENE: The whole opera sequence in Vienna wherein Ilsa, Ethan, and a couple of enemy agents play a sly game of backstage cat-and-mouse at a lavish production of TURANDOT. MOST UNINTENTIONALLY EXCITING SCENE: The whole opera sequence in Vienna wherein Ilsa parades around in a stunning yellow/gold evening gown, cut down to here and slit up to there. Yowza!!! AND THE "EYE CANDY" AWARD GOES TO: Rebecca Ferguson, straight up. YOWZA!!! INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: What is the Syndicate up to? And can Ilsa help Ethan and his trio of Musketeers (Jeremy Renner, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg) bring it down? Is she loyal to Lane and serving as his mole? Or has Lane been ahead of them all this whole time? What will that windbag Hunley do to throw a monkey wrench into Ethan's program? How will all this end? How!??! FINAL ANALYSIS: The last MISSION IMPOSSIBLE adventure in 2012 (GHOST PROTOCOL) was a very strong entry into the series, considered by many to be the high-water mark of the films. For me, however, the first film from 1996 was the best - that is, until this summer when MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: GHOST PROTOCOL was released. This new film, without a doubt in my mind, represents the true high-water mark of the MISSION IMPOSSIBLE series. It is a grand adventure, full of dazzling stunts and edge-of-your-seat suspense - and peopled with memorable characters and interactions. Tom Cruise has always emphasized the humanity in Ethan Hunt, and that serves to make the role very likable and almost relatable. Although most of us won't know what it's like to truly be a government operative, Cruise's dead-on portrayal of Ethan ensures that we are with him every step of the way - and not at a distance, as sometimes happens with the weaker James Bond films (most from the Roger Moore era), wherein Bond seems more like a cartoon character than a human being. A key facet of Ethan's accesibility is Cruise's own. Cruise is also very modest and gracious and understands the MISSION IMPOSSIBLE films are essentially ensemble films that require everyone to shine in order to work. Past MI stalwarts like Simon Pegg, Ving Rhames, and Jeremy Renner once again get their fair share of screen time here as Ethan's loyal comrades-in-arms. Alec Baldwin is his usual fine comically-serious self as a grumpy CIA bureaucrat who has the IMF in his sights. The ending promises his character's return and that is very welcome indeed. Meanwhile, Sean Harris makes for a solid low-key villain whose understated menace is a nice contrast to the over-the-top situations that abound in the story. Unequivocally stealing the show, however, is Rebecca Ferguson as mystery lady Ilsa Faust, who is definitely Ethan's equal, if not more. In the Bond films and past Hunt adventures, the female agent leads are often labeled as "Bond's equal" or "Ethan's equal" - only to be tossed into tired damsel-in-distress scenarios (like Wai Lin in TOMORROW NEVER DIES, Jinx Johnson in DIE ANOTHER DAY, and Anya Amasova in THE SPY WHO LOVED ME, Lindsey Ferris in MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3). WIth Ilsa Faust, however, we have the first heroine who is truly her male co-star's equivalent and gets herself (and often Ethan, too) out of peril. The script puts the character so front and center that it feels just as much as her movie as Ethan's - and it is. However, the wrong actress could've fumbled Ilsa's combo of cool mystery, sexy intensity, and muted vulnerability. Fortunately, Ferguson is definitely not that actress - she rolls up her proverbial sleeves and attacks the role with gusto. She's so effective that whenever she's not onscreen, you miss her and can't wait for her to show up again. Cruise also has the best chemistry with Ferguson that he's ever had with an MI leading lady, and their characters' connection is further underscored by the "love theme" that composer Joe Kraemer weaves into the score which echoes the "Nessun Dorma" theme from the Italian opera TURANDOT, the opera wherein Ethan and Ilsa reunite (after their first memorable encounter at the beginning of the film). This whole Vienna opera sequence also wins, by a hair, the title of "Best Setpiece". By a hair, because all the other setpieces are almost as terrific: a hair-raising motorcycle chase in Morocco, the "heist" in the submerged spinning data warehouse, the final confrontation in London which includes a brutal one-on-one knife fight betwen Ilsa and one of Solomon Lane's henchmen, and other sequences. This combination of stellar action and intriguing character dynamics makes MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: ROGUE NATION one of Summer 2015's winners - if not the best film, period. Oh, and I should also add that Ferguson's star-making performance was so popular with audiences and critics, that she will also be returning in the next film as Ilsa - the first time ever a leading lady has returned to reprise her main role. (Michelle Monaghan's tiny cameo in GHOST PROTOCOL after her lead turn in MI3 doesn't count because it was so fleeting) In closing, please hear a snippet of the score from wonderful opera action scene, courtesy of YOUTUBE, in which Ethan, Ilsa, and various other assassins squabble backastage at a producton of Giacomo Puccini's TURANDOT. Great music by composer Joe Kraemer.
THE GIFT (2015 - THRILLER) ***1/2 out of ***** OR 7 out of 10 (Yes, sir. Payback is going to be a bitch, yo!)
CAST: Jason Bateman, Rebecca Hall, Joel Edgerton, Katie Aselton, Beau Knapp, Nash Edgerton, David Denman, Alison Tolman. DIRECTOR: Joel Edgerton WARNING: Some SPOILERS and very good reasons to be kind to outsiders - straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: The Callums have moved to Los Angeles where Simon (Jason Bateman) has taken a job at some company. While he gets settled in his new office, wife Robin (Rebecca Hall) sets up house in the gorgeous Hollywood Hills. Oh, and to make things even cozier, Simon and Robyn run into one of Simon's old classmates (Simon is originally from L.A., you see) who takes a shine to the couple and befriends them. He is Gordon "Gordo" Moseley (Joel Edgerton), and seems nice and pleasant, and helps welcome them into the neighborhood. In the case of Simon, welcome his back.... Awwwwwwwwwww. In case you're starting to feel like this is some Fairy Tale Bullshit come to life, let me take the air out of them thar tires: before long, Simon starts to get creeped out by Gordo, whom Simon finally admits to calling "Gordo The Weirdo" in high school. Increasingly, Simon becomes unfriendly to Gordo, and tells Robyn that they should stop seeing him. Heck, if they'd all been Facebook friends, there would've surely been some serious un-friending going on. Soon, it appears we're in UNLAWFUL ENTRY / FATAL ATTRACTION / THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE country - with a psycho outsider threatening the domestic bliss of a perfect couple. But is the couple really so perfect? And is the psycho outsider really such as a psycho? Hmmmmmmmm...... THE DUDE OR DUDETTE MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: Not sure if anyone can save anyone else from the dark deeds on display here, but if we're talking about the most likable character, we'll have to go with Robyn - since she's the only one who is remotely sympathetic and shows kindness towards Gordo. MOST INTENTIONALLY SCARY SCENE: That video playing... which is also a... gift. Ahem. I guess Karma is a bitch, isn't it, Smug Simon? Who's laughing and smiling now? MOST UNINTENTIONALLY SCARY SCENE: Simon putting the moves on Robyn while waiting in Gordo's living room. Bleeeeech. INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: What secret is the Smug Simon hiding. What did he do to Gordo back in high school that screwed up Gordo so much? And what is Gordo planning? Is it really revenge - or is he simply trying to teach Simon a Gordo a valuable lesson in humility and not believing your own press? Like "He who laughs last, laughs loudest." Ahem. FINAL ANALYSIS: In our past review for THE BOY NEXT DOOR (review # 602), we discussed the return of the "Fill-In-The-Blank from Hell" Movie. Essentially, this is a movie in which a seemingly benign person is befriended by an innocent person, couple, or family - only for the person to turn out to be very dangerous. This kind of movie came into favor with FATAL ATTRACTION in 1987, and heated up with THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE (1992), SINGLE WHITE FEMALE (1992), and UNLAWFUL ENTRY (1992). There were many lesser variations on this premise over the 90s, before re-surging somewhat in 2002 with ONE HOUR PHOTO, wherein Robin Williams subverted his image in a remarkable performance. Then in 2009, the "Fill-In-The-Blank From Hell" Movie's stock rose again with the success of OBSESSED which, despite being a shameless clone of FATAL ATTRACTION, managed to rack up some solid grosses at the box office. Then NO GOOD DEED also struck gold in 2014 at cinemas (also, incidentally, starring Idris Elba) and now in 2015, we've seen the likes of THE BOY NEXT DOOR, THE PERFECT GUY, and now, THE GIFT. Clearly, this sub-genre of the Thriller Genre is making a return, for better or worse. Fortunately, THE GIFT harkens back to ONE HOUR PHOTO by inserting some welcome complexity into the proceedings. Just as Robin Williams' layered, sympathetic performance in that film kept his Sy Parrish from being pigeonholed as a one-note baddie, so too does the script here keep Joel Edgerton's Gordo Moseley from easily being labeled a simple villain. It should be noted that in addition to starring and writing the screenplay, Edgerton also directed. It's an impressive triple threat that Edgerton pulls off strongly. Another thing commendable about this film is how it also subverts its "hero" role. In a much lesser film, Jason Bateman's Simon Callum would have been portrayed as virtuous and upstanding. In THE GIFT, without giving too much anyway, Simon is decidedly not heroic despite his socially affable exterior- and it is arguable that some of the things that happen to him and Robyn late in the film are his doing. Speaking of Robyn, she's probably the least complex of the three main characters - but then again, she has to be since she is our "portal" character - our "eyes and ears" into the story. Rebecca Hall makes her a very sympathetic person, and Hall is best at playing Robyn's gradual realization that Gordo is not the simple weirdo her husband portrays him to be - and conversely Simon may actually not be the genial "Mr. Popularity" that he portrays himself to be, and is quite dishonorable. If the film has both a strength and a weakness, it's the ending. Edgerton wisely refuses to go the expected third-act route for these kind of movies, wherein the "villain" finally wreaks unrestrained havoc on the "heroes" in their home. Instead, he writes a climax that is both original, disturbing, compelling, ambiguous, but also a little underwhelming. After a masterful build-up that seems to promise a devastating reveal, the denouement somehow feels a little off. This slight misstep keeps THE GIFT from rising to the level of a Very Good (**** or 8 out of 10) film. Still, even with this quibble, THE GIFT is streets ahead of the usual "Fill-In-The-Blank From Hell" Movie, and is a very auspicious directing debut from its talented star, Joel Edgerton. Good job, sir...
SPY (2015 - COMEDY / SPY SPOOF) ****1/2 out of ***** OR 9 out of 10 (Bond. Jane Bond...)
CAST: Melissa McCarthy, Jude Law, Rose Byrne, Jason Statham, Allison Janney, Miranda Hart, Bobby Cannavale, Peter Serafinowicz, Nagril Fakhri, Morena Baccarin, Bjorn Gustaffson. DIRECTOR: Paul Feig WARNING: Some SPOILERS and very good reasons to make more female-spy films - straight ahead....
IT'S LIKE THIS: In case you were wondering what a James Bond film would be like if all the chicks took over, and the humor quotient was upped considerably, then our next review is what you would have. SPY focuses on CIA tech/liaison Susan Cooper (Melissa McCarthy), whose primary duty is to whisper not so much sweet nothings in the ear of of top agent Bradley Fine (Jude Law), but more like technical work-related somethings that keep his fine (pun intended) ass alive. I should also mention that Susan nurses a Montana-sized secret crush on Bradley, and yearns for the day when she can be the Bond Girl to his Bond, instead of a perennial Moneypenny. Susan's word comes crashing down, however, when Fine gets killed in the field by Ice Princess Mega-Villainess Bitch Rayna Boyanov (Rose Byrne). You see, our bad girl Rayna is mixed up in some heinous shite involving the theft and potential sale of a nuclear device to some dastardly dudes who, presumably, are not going to use the nuke simply for a conversational mantel-piece while waiting for dinner to be served. Ordinarily, CIA Supervisor Elaine Crocker (Allison Janney) would send in other Fine-like goons like the sexily-dorky Rick Ford (Jason Statham) to go after Rayna. Unfortunately, our bad girl Rayna is hep to the CIA's roster of super-agents - and vows to kill any of them if she spots them anywhere near her. Before you know it, Crocker is having to resort to the last resort of last resorts: sending Susan into the field. However, if you're thinking that Susan's cover is that of a gorgeous, glamorous, enigmatic fashion plate, please wake the hell up. Imagine your basic supermodel - but a hundred pounds heavier, a foot-and-a-half shorter, with a hair-do that would make any of the THE GOLDEN GIRLS chicks envious, then you have an idea of the "identity" that Susan is forced to take in order to ferret out Big Bad Rayna. Hilarity (and bad wigs) ensue. THE DUDE OR DUDETTE MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: The women rule this one. Most of the guys are basically either idiots, useless, too horny to see straight - or all three. Special kudos go out to Susie C. and also her loyal tall-drink-of-water pal, Nancy (Miranda Hart). What would a spy be without a gal pal to hang out with and shoot the breeze with? AND THE "EYE CANDY" AWARD GOES TO: Jude Law is too goddamn pretty, so he's out. And seriously: what the fuck is up with that lipstick he's wearing during Susan's interrogation scene? Happily, Jason Statham nabs this one for being such a manly stud. As for the chicks, it's a three-way tie between three ravishing brunettes: Rose Byrne, Nagril Fakhri, and Morena Bacccarin. MOST INTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS SCENE: Well, pretty much the whole friggin' movie. My favorite part, though, is when Susan forces Rayna's pretty boy Euro-trash bodyguard, Anton (Bjorn Gustaffson), to fork over his trenchcoat. You'll see. MOST UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS SCENE: Well, more like "Most unintentionally SEXAY scene!"... Ford and Susan discovering at the very end of the movie what ingesting huge amounts of Champagne can cause two people (who normally can't stand each other) to do. Ahem. Yes, folks, let's hear it for Hate Sex. INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: Will Susan be able to foil whatever the hell Rayna and her Euro-Trash colleagues including that sleazy asshole Sergio De Luca (Bobby Cannavale) are up to? Or has Rayna already made her? How will Nancy be able to help? Will she and Susan be the espionage version of CAGNEY & LACEY? And how will that idiot Ford fuck things up for her?Because you know he will. Or is there a secret villain waiting in the shadows with a secret agenda? How will this end? In a nuclear explosion? Or another kind of, um, explosion? Ahem. FINAL ANALYSIS: Director Paul Feig (BRIDESMAIDS & THE HEAT) and his star Melissa McCarthy (of those same films) have been on a white-hot streak of success lately with their back to back box office hits. Now they have re-teamed with this hilarious 007-send up that amusingly places all the women front and center, and the men in decidedly supporting roles. It's a great concept that pays side-splitting dividends the further the film unfolds - and gives some talented female performers a lot of room to play in. McCarthy is undoubtedly a talented comedienne who can be a bit of an "acquired taste" for some folks. I have some friends who don't seem to take to her "schtick" as easily in films like BRIDESMAIDS and THE HEAT. However, those very same folks actually quite liked her in SPY. That's largely because Susan Cooper is a very likable character, humble but self-effacing while also being tough and hilariously no-nonsense when the occasion warrants it. McCarthy must have had a hand in shaping the script because it dovetails perfectly with all her skills. The supporting cast is also perfectly filled, down to the smallest role. Jude Law is someone whom I am normally cool towards, but here he is very winning in the role of Bradley Fine, which is clearly a spoof on James Bond's mix of suave and serious. Meanwhile, Jason Statham - whom I always very warm to - is even more engaging here, playing James Bond if James Bond were, well, a total dork. Statham gets to tweak his tough guy image and is the centerpiece of some of the film's best gags. Bobby Cannavale, also normally known for tough guy roles, similarly gets to ham it up as Sergio De Luca, one of the film's sub-villains. Then there's Peter Serafinowicz as Aldo, the lusty Italian who helps Susan on her mission, but whose intelligence seems to be centered in his groin area. However, as mentioned above, the movie belongs to the ladies. Imagine a Bond film if all the major roles were filled by women, with the men more in support roles. Miranda Hart is a delightfully droll and witty presence as Nancy B. Artingstall, Susan's loyal best pal who aids her invaluably throughout her mission. There is a subplot involving Nancy's tussles with 50 Cent (yes, that 50 Cent) that is a riot. Hart is a wonderful comedic presence and matches McCarthy, line by line. It would be great to see a sequel with these two together again. Allison Janney is a nice, no-nonsense presence as Elaine Crocker, the CIA supe who sends Susan into the fray. Janney's icily hard-nosed delivery is a good counterpoint to McCarthy's initial tentativeness. Meanwhile, the exotically gorgeous Nargil Fakhri is a memorable presence as Lia, a relentless assassin whom Susan gets to face off with in a hilarious kitchen fight. Fakhri, who is half-American/half-Indian, is a Bollywood star and former AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL contestant who is now taking her first steps in Hollywood, and should do well. Also compelling and darkly gorgeous is Morena Baccarin as Karen Walker, a mysterious CIA agent who could be friend or foe. Nearly stealing the show (no small feat given that comedic cast), though, is Rose Bryne as Rayna Boyanova, who is herself a send-up of every Bond Villainess in the pantheon. Imagine Elektra King fused with Miranda Priestly of THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, and you can begin to imagine the hilarious hauteur and delightfully razor-tongued menace that Bryne brings to the role. Rayna is the Queen of the Cutting Remark - and watching her match wits with Susan (who ultimately gives as good as she gets) is a thorough pleasure. McCarthy and Byrne even manage to suggest some embers of respect growing between their morally-opposed characters, lending the film some unexpected nuance. Rayna and Susan almost come across as sort of an "Odd Couple," and it's awesome. As with Nancy and Susan, it would be great to see a sequel that pairs this bickering duo to work together and face off again. Ultimately, SPY is one of the best films of this summer, and credit must go to everyone both in front and behind the camera.... Go, ladies...
In closing, please groove to theme song from SPY, the very Bondian tune titled "Who Can You Trust?"
ANTMAN (2015 - SUPERHERO FLICK) **** out of ***** OR 8 out of 10 (Here we go again. Again)
CAST: Paul Rudd, Michael Douglas, Evangeline Lilly, Corey Stoll, Anthony Mackie, Bobby Cannavale, Michael Pena, T.I. Harris, Judy Greer, Abby Fortson. DIRECTOR: Peyton Reed WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some examples of rather obscure Marvel action heroes straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: In the annals of Superhero History, there are few as unlikely or WTF-worthy as our next review, ANTMAN. Yes, you read that right. How, may you ask, would a tiny creature as an ant inspire a formidable superhero? Well, ask Scott Lang (Paul Rudd). Poor Scott just can't catch a break despite looking as scrumptious as Paul Rudd. To wit, he's just been paroled from jail after serving time for a "Robin Hood" type of burglary which really proves the old adage that no good deed truly goes unpunished - and the best job he can find is.... scooping ice cream for snot-nosed punks at Baskin-Robbins. Well, it sure beats commiting more burglaries and endangering his parole. That is, until her learns that will never be able to win joint custody of his beloved daughter Cassie (Abby Forston) from his wages at Baskins. That realization plus the needling of old pal Luis (Michael Pena) and Luis' two idiot sidekicks Kurt & Dave (David Dastmalchian, T.I. Harris) pretty much ensures that our boy Scotty will soon be pulling that trusty ol' balaclava over his gorgeous face again. Sure enough, before you know it, Luis and company send Scott into some mansion in San Francisco to steal something out of a fortified basement room. Except someone is expecting Scott in that house. Someone with an agenda. Someone who needs a volunteer. And before you know it, he turns into... ANTMAN! Don't ask. Just go see the movie. Paul Rudd is fucking hot in in it. FINAL ANALYSIS: Along with JURASSIC WORLD & SPY, ANTMAN is easily one of the most enjoyable movies of the summer so far. The latest in Marvel's "shared universe" of superhero flicks (and definitely not the last), ANTMAN benefits greatly from having more of a sense of humor than its brethren. This is largely because of the presence of gifted comic actor Paul Rudd in the lead. While Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans are fine in the THOR and CAPTAIN AMERICA flicks, neither is really a comedy actor nor are their characters known for being funny. Paul Rudd, on the other hand, has starred in some very funny movies (ROLE MODELS, I LOVE YOU MAN, WANDERLUST, OUR IDIOT BROTHER) and Scott Lang is a laidback, humorous character who echoes Rudd's own personality. This good-natured feel infuses the whole movie, making a very fun experience. Director Peyton Reed manages to wring some stirring setpieces from the unlikely scenario of a miniscule superhero. That's the best feature of ANTMAN - its constant ability to suprise and give us something new. In an increasingly over-crowded and ever-more stale category as the Superhero sub-genre, that is a very welcome thing. In addition to the awesome Paul Rudd, the rest of the cast leaves a strong impression. Michael Douglas is his usual delightfully sardonic self as Hank Pym, the "brains" behind the "AntMan" project, while Evangeline Lilly is fetching as his conflicted daughter, Hope. Corey Stoll is both attractive and sinister as Scott Lang's adversary, Darren Cross, who becomes the feared "Yellow-Jacket". The other (besides Rudd) "funny bones" of ANTMAN, though, are Michael Pena, David Dastmalchian, and T.I. Harris as Scott Lang's cronies who come to his aid whenever he needs them - with hilarious results. All in all, ANTMAN is a bright, engaging addition to the Marvel Universe of Superheroes. One whose inevitable sequels will be awaited eagerly. Along with the sequels to the equally-wonderful JURASSIC WORLD and SPY.
