(This is why I don‘t keep a diary…)
CAST: Steven Bauer, Barbara Williams, John Getz, David Caruso, Christine Ebersole.
DIRECTOR: Douglas Day Stewart
FAVORITE OF: Friend
IN A NUTSHELL: Small-time burglar Scott Muller (Steve Bauer) breaks into yuppie couple Ray and Mickey Davis’s (John Getz and Barbara Williams) home and cleans them out. Scott accidentally swipes Mickey’s private diaries (which even Ray doesn’t know about) along with the valuables. Indeed, Mickey seems more upset about this than losing all of her jewelry. The cops assure her that a burglar doesn’t give a shit about her private thoughts and fantasies. Unfortunately, Scott turns out to be the only sensitive and soulful burglar in the world and starts reading through Mickey’s junk. He finds out from her writings that she is unhappy in her marriage with Ray. Before you know it, Scott has turned himself into her “dream guy” and proceeds to start an affair with her. Will Mickey ever find out that her new lover is also the guy who stole her diaries? Will she care as long as he keeps on making her cum like the Fourth of July? I wouldn’t.
WHY HE LOVES THIS MOVIE: Because he’s a fucking pervert, that's why (sorry, dude, just keeping it real). What do you expect from a guy who almost became a porn star? No wonder we get along so well. We’re both horndogs. Anyway, THIEF OF HEARTS isn’t that bad. It’s actually pretty good, and has a great concept, slick production design, and vibrant soundtrack. It’s just too bad the love story angle wasn’t developed further, as this could’ve been a classic. Barbara Williams is hauntingly beautiful, while Steven Bauer is smokin’ hot and can burglarize me any day of the week.
