(Oh. My. God...)
CAST: Sacha Baron Cohen, Anna Faris, Sir Ben Kingsley, Jason Mantzoukas, Sayed Bandreya, Megan Fox (as herself - seriously).
DIRECTOR: Larry Charles
WARNING: Some SPOILERS one really unapologetically and unabashedly politically incorrect tyrant (who should also seriously consider manscaping) straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: The title of our next review is THE DICTATOR, but it just as easily could've been called THE DICK. Why? Just two reasons: First, the protagonist, Aladeen (Sacha Baron Cohen), is kind of, well, a dick. Actually, to call him a dick might even be an insult to dickheads all over the world. But how else would you characterize someone who: (1) has ruled his oppressed country of Wadiya (fictional, one would hope) with an iron, tyrannical hand since he could pretty much string two sentences together; (2) has anyone who opposes him (even slightly) viciously killed; (3) generally behaves like a Middle Eastern version of Cartman from SOUTH PARK, only a lot less fat and a lot more politically-incorrect (if you can even conceive of such an eventuality).
And the second reason the title of this movie should've been shortened to THE DICK? Well, that's easy: we are treated to no less than four shots of Aladeen's, um, Leaning Tower of Pisa throughout the flick. And let's just say that there should be an International Mandatory Law For Manscaping. For the love of God, it looks like a goddamn raccoon just burrowed into his fucking lap. Now, anyone who knows me know I'm a fan of "hairy". There is, however, a difference between "hairy" and "Amazon Jungle" or "Sherwood Forest". Sorry, but I already tend get lost in the woods enough when we're out hiking - I don't want to have to also use a fucking compass when I'm, you know, fucking.
But I digress. Anyhow, Aladeen pretty much gets off on being a total jackass to his constituents and countrymen. Actually, again, that might be an insult to jackasses all over the world, including that inexplicably popular TV show. And it doesn't help that Aladeen's guiding national policies seem to be dictated by... the Looney Tunes cartoons. Seriously. This is a guy who bases the building of his nuclear weapons on the heated encounters between Elmer Fudd, Bugs Bunny, and Daffy Duck - and the eternal question of whether it is, yes, Duck Season or Rabbit Season. Much, of course, to the chagrin of Dr. Nadal (Jason Mantzoukas), Aladeen's top nuclear physicist. Unable to bear his supreme leader's idiocy one more minute, Nadal basically tells Aladeen that he should cut back on the Looney Tunes and make some attempt to acquire this thing called... a brain. Bad move, since we've already established before that Aladeen will have you killed if you so much as breathe incorrectly around him. Let alone tell him straight up what a fucking nitwit he is. Guess what happens to Nadal? It's not pretty.
Not long after this, Aladeen is invited to speak at the UN in New York City. Apparently, the nations are clamoring for Aladeen to stop being King Douchebag and start treating his people with decency and respect. Ha ha ha. Let me know how that goes. Pardon us if we don't hold our breaths. Anyhow, Aladeen's seriously deluded Chief of Staff Tamir (played by Sir Ben Kingsley) seems to think that an appearance at the UN will do wonders for his boss' reputation. Never mind that he's basically been portrayed in the media as a amalgam of every reprehensible tyrannical douchebag leader in history - from Hitler to Saddam Hussein to Idi Amin to my high school algebra teacher. You know who you are, bitch.
Anyway, things go south pretty much the night Aladeen and his entourage arrive in NYC. Such as: (1) Aladeen is promptly kidnapped by the American agent (John C. Reilly) who is supposed to protect him, who (2) promptly cuts off Aladeen's signature beard, before (3) promptly catching on fire and getting roasted alive. This allows our not-so-noble leader to escape into the streets of New York City, sans facial hair, which has the same effect on him as the geeky Laney Boggs (Rachael Leigh Cook) in SHE'S ALL THAT, taking her eyeglasses and ponytail off - and instantly turning into a "who-is-fuck-is-that!?!?" hottie. Except in Borat's, er, Bruno's, er, Aladeen's case, it has the opposite effect: no one notices him now.
This presents a couple of problems: (1) Aladeen isn't allowed back into the UN to make his speech because without his beard, the cops think he's just another liberal hippie who should really shave more; and (2) it allows Tamir, the treacherous fuck, to sneak an Aladeen-lookalike (also Sacha Baron Cohen) into Aladeen's place - and get him to do anything they want. Specifically, announce and sign a Declaration of Democracy at the UN. Now, I know that would actually be a good thing for the people of Wadiya - and for the World in general. But you must be high on hash brownies if you think that Aladeen is going to let that shit happen without a couple of international incidents.
Fortunately, he has an ally in hippie chick Zoey (Anna Faris), who is one of "those" chicks who: (1) eat nothing but organic veggies; (2) is highly politically-correct; (3) doesn't shave her pits; and... even far more terrifying than not shaving their pits: (4) wears Crocs. Zoey meets Aladeen by accident in front of the UN - where Zoey and her comrades are, um, protesting Aladeen. Like I said, that beard (or lack of) makes a big difference. Zoey mistakes him for a fellow protestor, based on the fact that he is: (1) slovenly dressed like her; and (2) really needs to shave certain parts of his body. And he also introduces himself as Alison Burger. Do not. Even ask.
Before you know it, Aladeen has been recruited by Zoey to work in her Organic Grocery store which, for a blood-thirsty and equal-opportunity-offender like him, is like a Great White Shark putting on a Seal costume and going to work in a rookery. In other words, this is not good. On top of that, Aladeen discovers that Dr. Nadal (remember him? the nuclear physicist he had shot?) is actually still alive - along with everyone else he thought he had executed - in a place in Brooklyn called (shitting you, I am not) Little Wadiya. Before you also know it, Nadal is helping his old nemesis try to get his identity back - and defeat his enemies in the UN....
WHAT!?!??!
Whatever. So... will Aladeen and his new friend Nadal be able to defeat Tamir and Aladeen's Doofus Double? Will Tamir succeed with his agenda? Is it even a bad thing, considering all Tamir wants to do is bring democracy to Wadiya? And what happens when Zoey discovers that "Alison Burger" is really the most loathed leader in the World? Will their blooming love be endangered - or will Aladeen's experience working in the organic grocery change him? Or is he pretty much beyond saving?
Don't know what tell you - my mind is still blown by the scene where Zoey teaches Aladeen how to, um, spank the monkey. Apparently, he was so privileged he never had to, um, do it himself. Now, that's a job that would suck: Royal Handjob-Giver...
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Someone once told me at a party that a true comedian is someone who can take any subject matter - anything at all - and transform it into comedic cold. This, according to him, is what differentiates truly hilarious people from people who are just amusing. He said a true comedian has to be not just clever and witty, but truly intelligent - and able to use humor the same fluid way a musician uses music, a writer uses words, and an athlete uses his/her body. And, I have to say, I agree with him completely. What differentiates a classic comedian from your average funny person is the ability to take any mundane topic and turn it into something truly hilarious. Classics like Billy Crystal, Rodney Dangerfield, Alec Baldwin, Chevy Chase, Dave Chappelle, Eddie Murphy, and Chris Rock could slay an audience with a few words. And, now, Sacha Baron Cohen joins their illustrious ranks.
I have only seen snippets of Cohen's previous films, but what I saw of BORAT and BRUNO were side-splitting, which is why I couldn't wait to see THE DICTATOR because it promised to be even raunchier and loony than those two previous films. And, sure enough, it delivered on that promise. Put simply, this movie is right after 21 JUMP STREET as the best comedy we've seen this year. Undoubtedly, most fans of 21 JUMP STREET will steer clear of THE DICTATOR, thinking its a different kettle of fish. The thing is, the humor is exactly the same. It's just the context that is different. It is essentially a live-action version of SOUTH PARK.
I have to keep this analysis short because we're off to dinner in literally ten minutes (mangare!). All you need to know about THE DICTATOR is three-fold: (1) this is one very funny movie with sharp performances from everyone concerned - especially Cohen, without whom this film would not have worked; (2) this is not the film to see if you do not like SOUTH PARK or raunchy-but-intelligent comedies; (3) but if you are fan of such films, you will not be disappointed. Definitely a one-of-a-kind film.
Basically, this film might have been a disaster without Sacha Baron Cohen's comedic talents. With him in the lead, though, it becomes a comedy experience quite unlike any other....
