# 509 - PACIFIC RIM (2013)

PACIFIC RIM (2013 - ACTION / SCI-FI / DRAMA) ****1/2 out of *****

(MAZINGER Z meets GODZILLA - sign me up...)



CAST: Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, Rinku Kikuchi, Charlie Day, Max Martini, Clifton Collins Jr., Robert Kazinsky, Burn Gorman, Ron Perlman, Diego Klattenhoff.

DIRECTOR: Guillermo Del Toro

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some damn good arguments for strategic defenses based on Japanese Anime - straight ahead....




IT'S LIKE THIS: When I was growing up, one of my favorite cartoons was the popular (in Asia, anyway) Japanese anime titled MAZINGER Z. The show was about a giant Japanese robot named Mazinger Z that was controlled by a hovercraft docked in its head, piloted by a human teenager named Kouji Kabuto. Kouji would basically pilot Mazinger Z the way you would pilot a car or airplane - except Mazinger Z packed a hell of a lot more firepower. Kouji and Mazinger would battle not only evil giant robots created by a baddie mastermind called Dr. Hell and his half-man/half-woman (not even kidding, folks - this is Japanese anime, after all) associate named Baron Ashura, but also behemoth leviathans that would come out of the sea wanting to go medieval on civilization.

You know how kids today have all sorts of tie-in products for TOY STORY, FINDING NEMO, ICE AGE, SHREK, WALL-E, etc.? Well, you name the MAZINGER Z tie-in product, and I had it when I was growing up: stickers, coloring books, notebooks, T-shirts, lunch box, etc. In short, in addition to CHARLIE'S ANGELS, the James Bond flicks, the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books, and the Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew novels, MAZINGER Z was an early influence on my artistic development. To this day, I still get chills when I hear the opening music themes for that TV show.

So, imagine my delight when I heard about PACIFIC RIM - which is basically MAZINGER Z with a lot of hot, sexy, live people running around instead of cartoon characters - and some seriously stunning special effects. I used to hope that MAZINGER Z would eventually be turned into a film. That hope dwindled as time and years went by - but now it is burning ever so brightly as PACIFIC RIM finally arrives in theatres across the country. None of the giant robots running around in it may not exactly be called Mazinger Z, but who are they kidding?

Let's examine the similarities between PACIFIC RIM and MAZINGER Z, shall we? Giant robots piloted by humans in a pod located in the robots' heads? Check. Huge scaly monsters threatening civilization? Check. An Asian setting that somehow manages to be both vibrant and bleak at the same time? Seriously check. "To-The-Death-Battles" between aforementioned giant-robots-piloted-by-humans and huge-scaly-monsters-threatening-civilization? Very, very check. Let's face it, folks: PACIFIC RIM owes my boys Mazinger and Kouji some serious gratitude. Don't get me wrong, though: I am thrilled with PACIFIC RIM (more on that in the BUT SERIOUSLY section), but I just want to give credit where credit is due. Go MAZINGER Z!

Our story starts off with a narration by sexy-as-fuck blond hottie Raleigh Becket (sexy-as-fuck blonde hottie Charlie Hunnam). Raleigh is a "Jaeger" - which is a German word for "Hunter." Jaegers are basically highly-trained mavericks who pilot giant robots to battle "Kaiju" - which, I guess, is the Japanese word for "Evil Scaly Monster Who Comes From Another Dimension And Wants To Seriously Fuck Up Our Planet."

Anyhow, Raleigh tells us that the Kaiju first emerged from a crack in the ocean floor, which is also a portal to another dimension or something, and started attacking coastal cities around the Pacific Rim. First, San Francisco got leveled. Then Manila got hammered (although, given how fun-loving Filipinos are, they probably didn't realize that the giant monster attacking their capital wasn't part of the party until it was too late). Then Tokyo, Sydney, Shanghai, Anchorage, Honolulu, L.A. and all the rest of 'em in the PacRim neighborhood followed. Fortunately, Raleigh and his hotshot team of Jaegers, which includes his equally hot blond brother Yancy (Diego Klattenhoff), have managed to use their giant robots to put the smackdown on the Kaiju and keep things relatively under control.

That is, until the Kaiju start getting hep to the Jaeger's attack and defense techniques. Before you know it, the tables are turning and the Kaiju are starting to get a leg up on the Jaegers and their robots. It seems that this formidable and deadly enemy is evolving - and getting smarter and more dangerous (if that's even possible). This results in robot after robot in the Jaeger fleet being destroyed - and finally leading to the tragic death of Yancy, who sacrifices himself for his baby bro Raleigh. This causes Raleigh to resign from the Jaeger program - and go build a giant wall in Alaska - called the "Wall of Life" - which is supposed to keep the Kaiju out. Ha ha. Right. Let me know how that one goes, Einsteins.

As a result of the sudden failures of the Jaeger robots against the evolving Kaiju, the World Governments pull their support for the Jaeger Program. Much to the dismay of smokin' hot Jaeger Chief, Colonel Stacker Pentecost (Idris Elba), and his even hotter (if that's possible) right hand man, Major Herc Hansen (Max Martini). In a last-ditch effort to keep the Jaeger program alive, Pentecost tracks down Raleigh at his construction site in Alaska, and cajoles him into going back into the Jaeger program. Raleigh is still traumatized by the death of his big bro Yancy, but eventually agrees. Probably because the life of a construction worker is just not as exciting as that of someone who pilots giant robots and dukes it out with huge monsters from another dimension. Just keeping it real, folks.

Before you know it, Raleigh is back in the saddle and partnered with the mysterious Maki Mori (Rinku Kikuchi), a Japanese pilot with a enigmatic secret in her past. And, folks, let me just say that these two make for one great-looking couple - The Blonde Hunk and The Exotic Asian Chick - and there is more combustible chemistry between them than a wet finger and an electric outlet. I, for one, would love to be a fly on the wall of their, uh, cockpit during their next, um, missionary position, er, mission. Yes, I'm a sleazebag - but I have chosen to embrace it. Much more fun, that way.

Anyhow, his growing attraction to Maki (and her elusiveness) is not the only thing that Raleigh has to wrestle with. He also has to deal with an asshole rival named Chuck Hansen (Robert Kazinsky), who is the son of uber-hottie Herc Hansen, whom we mentioned before could camp out on my face anytime he wants. Chuck isn't quite as hot as his pops, but he's more than good enough. Unfortunately, he's also a jackass - and not in the "Sexy Douchebag" way we talked about in our review of IRON MAN 3. He's just a prick, and not the good kind. If you know what I mean. Ahem. Which is totally puzzling, because Herc is an all-around Good Guy - and his son is basically the Grand High Statesman of Asswipes. To say that the apple fell a thousand miles from the tree is not so much an understatement, but a center-of-the-Earth statement.

Whatever. Eventually, Raleigh has to set all this noise aside and focus on the mission. Which is a good thing, because it appears those pesky Kaiju are seriously ramping up on the menace and mischief. Instead of attacking in ones like before, the fuckers are now teaming up in twos and even threes. What the actual fuck? Did they suddenly realize that there is safety in numbers or something?

Why are the Kaiju attacks increasing in frequency and numbers? What is their ultimate plan? Will the scientists studying the Kaiju come up with an explanation in time? Is Dr. Geiszler (Charlie Day) right when he says that Kaiju are not mindless beasts attacking randomly - but organized warriors with a definite agenda? If so, how will he prove his theory? And why is Colonel Pentecost so against Maki being Raleigh's co-pilot? Is he concerned that her intense desire for revenge against the Kaiju may compromise the mission? Or is it something else? And what is Maki's secret, anyway? And will she and Raleigh successfully put aside their powerful attraction and work together as a Jaeger team? Do they have, um, a happy ending in their future? Besides the messy kind, that is.

I certainly hope so...


BUT SERIOUSLY: In our last review, the mediocre thriller THE PURGE, we discussed the High Concept Movie. A High Concept Film is one with a very catchy premise that instantly marks it as commercial (and potentially profitable). We also discussed how the wrong execution can cause a High Concept Movie to fail. Such is the the case with THE PURGE whose potentially compelling central idea ("One night a year, all crime is legal" flamed out due to unoriginal and tired execution. Even more damning was the lack of any sympathetic characters to root for. This is the real failure of THE PURGE: it might have survived its routine plot development if it had anyone worth caring for. But it didn't, and it is one of the weakest films to be released this summer - despite that attention-getting hook.

Think about it: the best High Concept Movies are the ones with characters we cared about. JAWS, STAR WARS, RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, GHOSTBUSTERS, INDIANA JONES, THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, INDIANA JONES & THE TEMPLE OF DOOM, E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL, DIE HARD, and many, many more successful High Concept films made their mark not only because they had arresting central ideas - but also because we sympathized with the men and women within their worlds. These are what I like to call "High Concept Movies With Heart" - and our latest review is one of them.

The central idea of PACIFIC RIM, like all High Concept Films, is a catchy one that can be summed up in one to two sentences: "When giant monsters emerge from the sea, the World must rely on giant robots piloted by humans to defeat the menace and save humanity." This is not an entirely original premise because it combines elements of MAZINGER Z, GODZILLA, and the TRANSFORMER movies. However, what really makes it soar is not just the stellar and breathless action sequences - but the characters who inhabit this world and their relationships with one another. Both the people of PACIFIC RIM and their connections to each other are compellingly fleshed out.

In the past, we've talked about how "some movies treat the people just as important - if not more - than the plot." This is a very good thing; PACIFIC RIM does so and, as a result, it anchors the spectacular action in a very human place. Director/co-writer Guillermo Del Toro is not afraid to slow the pace down to make room for Raleigh, Maki, Pentecost, Herc, Dr. Geiszler, Chuck, and the rest of the folks to breathe and develop with one another. These solid "interpersonals" make the ensuing action all the more resonant and suspenseful, because you feel that something is actually at stake here: the lives of men and women the audience has come to care about.

Charlie Hunnam is a terrific lead who owns his role and holds the camera with authority and charisma. He is commanding, rather than just competent - the way Henry Cavill unfortunately was in MAN OF STEEL. Cavill was okay, even good, but when you keep thinking of someone else who would've been so much better in the role of Superman (like Andrew Garfield or someone similar), then you know that the actor chosen has not taken ownership of the role and made it special. By constrast, Hunnam takes the role of Raleigh Becket, a potentially cliched "hero" role, and brings it to vital life - making it his own.

For years, Idris Elba has provided solid support in a variety of A-list productions, most recently in PROMETHEUS as the no-nonsense space jockey Janek. Here, Elba puts a more noble spin on the "Fearless Leader" role, turning Colonel Stacker Pentecost (a ridiculous name that could have easily compromised our view of the character) into an admirable blend of courage, leadership, and compassion. It's also great that the British-born Elba, who has forever been forced to suppress his natural accent in American roles, gets to use it hear. And it is a pleasure to hear. I like to refer to him as the "Thinking Person's Denzel Washington" - and I hope to see him in more lead and major supporting roles in the future.

As the female lead, Rinku Kikuchi brings a nice blend of tentativeness and backbone to the role of Maki Mori. From the trailer, I was expecting Maki to be some sort of hard-driving, aggressive, bad-ass female pilot, but Kikuchi constantly surprises us by making Maki more vulnerable and child-like - and not the "warrior cliche" she could have been. It helps considerably that Kikuchi, who had strong turns in BABEL and THE BROTHERS BLOOM, has great versatility and range - ably showing the various colors to her character. I think of Kikuchi as a sort of Japanese version of Sharon Stone - a nice blend of distant beauty and haunting vulnerability. Just like with Hunnam and Elba, I hope to see more of Kikuchi's work on these shores in the future.

Of the supporting cast, the gorgeous Max Martini and the hilarious Charlie Day are the major standouts. Martini is an immensely likable presence as Herc Hansen, Pentecost's right-hand man who, like his boss, is also fearless but also compassionate. Martini has the same arresting presence that Hunnam and Elba have - a masculine aura that resembles that of Russell Crowe. It would be great to see Martini get some lead roles after his arresting turn in PACIFIC RIM. Then there's Charlie Day, who is one of my favorite comedians. He stars in one of my favorite sitcoms, the wildly irreverent and loony IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA, and he brings the same manic energy to PACIFIC RIM. All the laughs in this movie usually involve him - especially when his character, Dr. Geiszler, gets his own side mission/mini adventure into Hong Kong to try to unravel the secret of the Kaiju's brains.

Robert Kazinsky, Clifton Collins Jr, and Diego Klattenhof are also good in smaller supporting roles, rounding out a terrific cast. Another asset of PACIFIC RIM is the cast itself - each and every single role is perfectly filled with just the right actor or actress. The only quibble that I have is I wish that there were more female characters. Maki Mori is a great heroine, but it would've been nice to have seen another woman or two in the pool of main players. Perhaps Dr. Geiszler could've had a love interest of his own....

Maybe in the sequel... For now, though, PACIFIC RIM has shaped up to be the most enjoyable film (in a dead tie with THIS IS THE END - review coming), thus far, of the summer. In a season filled with such winners as WORLD WAR Z, IRON MAN 3, MAN OF STEEL, and THE HEAT, that is no small feat.

# 507 - THE PURGE (2013)

THE PURGE (2013 - HORROR / THRILLER) ** out of *****

(May want to rethink your process, Purge mob...)



CAST: Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, Max Burkholder, Adelaide Kane, Edwin Hodge, Rhys Wakefield, Tony Oller, Chris Mulkey, Arija Bareikis, Dana Bunch, Tom Yi.

DIRECTOR: James DeMonaco

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some damn good reasons to be good to your neighbors - straight ahead...




IT'S LIKE THIS: Ah, the "High Concept Movie".... Where would Hollywood be today without it? Nowhere. That's where.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, the "High Concept Movie" is a flick whose premise can be summed up in one or two catchy sentences. This allows screenwriters to more easily (and effectively) pitch their ideas to the production executives of the various studios bankrolling productions. And if that High Concept Pitch is catchy enough, it is enough to make a production executive cum hard in his/her pants. Trust me - it is disgusting and highly exciting to watch in equal measure.

Anyhow, here are some examples of some famous High Concept Movies and their pitches: ALIEN ("Seven astronauts respond to a distress call in deep space, only to encounter a chameleon-like creature that destroys them one-by-one"); BEVERLY HILLS COP ("A brash, irreverent cop from Detroit, Michigan goes to Beverly Hills to investigate the murder of an old friend, but has to contend not only with the puzzling case, but also the bizarre, superficial place known as Beverly Hills); PRETTY WOMAN ("A hooker with a heart of gold agrees to be a cold-hearted business tycoon's escort for a week, only to humanize him when he falls in love with her"); JAWS (A New England island community is terrorized by a marauding Great White shark, and it's up to three mismatched men to end its reign of terror"); RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK ("A roguish archaeologist is drawn into a serpentine mystery and race that just might lead to the greatest discovery of our time: the Lost Ark of the Covenant"); and JURASSIC PARK ("An island resort off the coast of Costa Rica features genetically-engineered dinosaurs, but when a group of scientists arrives to evaluate the facility, something goes horribly wrong: the dinosaurs escape and turn the tables on the humans")

And so it goes... It's fair to say that pretty much any movie playing in the summertime is a High Concept Movie. These flicks are most attractive to mainstream American audiences, because they are simple and uncomplicated. They're basically the polar opposite of the "Weird Art House Flick", which is a movie so complex and bizarre only weirdos like me would appreciate it. Just like one of our next reviews, BERBERIAN SOUND STUDIO, which is a love letter to the Giallo sub-genre (colorful Italian suspense thrillers from the 60s, 70s, and 80s) and its celebrated directors like Dario Argento, Mario Bava, Luigi Bazzoni, Michele Soavi, Lucio Fulci, and many more in this uniquely and operatically Italian field. Needless to say, BERBERIAN SOUND STUDIO and any of the High Concept Movies mentioned before are not going to rub shoulders at the same party anytime soon. But more on BERBERIAN SOUND STUDIO and Giallos later. For now, let's go back to High Concept Land.

If there was ever a prime example of a High Concept Movie, it is our next review. THE PURGE is not about a mass deletion of useless computer files. Nor is it about everyone in the United States taking a massive shit at the same time (but just imagine how that would affect the national plumbing system). Nope, it's about a single day every year when all Americans are allowed, within a 12-hour nocturnal period, to kill anyone they want. This practice is called "The Purge" because, evidently, it allows the nation to blow of some steam and control the population - by going medieval on each other.

Basically, the pitch for THE PURGE probably went a little something like this: "In the near future, to combat population increase and societal unrest, the United States Government has created a holiday called "The Purge" when all criminal activity - including murder - is allowable for a 12-hour period. The Sandin family suddenly finds themselves under siege in their fortified home when they harbor an innocent man being pursued by a bloodthirsty group of 'Purgers'." Cue the toe-curling orgasm of the studio exec on the other side of the table as he/she imagines the possibilities.

And so it went... The heroes of THE PURGE are the aforementioned Sandin family. We have: (1) daddy James (Ethan Hawke), a businessman who specializes in home security, which is very lucrative whenever Purge Day approaches; (2) mommy Mary; gorgeous homemaker who enjoys the fruits of James' labors; (3) son Charlie, who is your basic precocious teen with long hair and a serious jones for electronics; and (4) daughter Zoey (Adelaide Kane), who is your basic whiny pill of a teenage girl. They all live in a fairly upscale residential area that is very secure, not in small part to the wares that James peddles.

As Purge Night approaches, we get cheery/creepy commercials on TV urging folks to "Enjoy Purge night by watching the 'festivities' on TV" or "Throw your own Purge Party." James, Mary, Charlie, and Zoe, however, just want to ride out the tense night in silence behind their steel-plate barriers and keep their heads low. Which makes a lot of sense, because of their is anything that might attract the attention of a blood-thirsty band of murderous Purgers, it's the sound of dance music booming from someone's house. Keep it low-key, Sandins, if you want to survive the night.

Unfortunately, something happens to force the Sandin's collective hand: on one of their security camera monitors, Charlie sees a helpless African-American man (Edwin Hodge) outside being chased by a bunch of Purgers. Having some degree of compassion, Charlie disables the house's defense system - and let's the poor man in. Much to the chagrin of James, Mary, and Zoe - who aren't exactly tickled pink that the subject of a massive manhunt is now holing up in what they though was their sanctuary.

Before you know it, the leader of the Purge mob (Rhys Wakefield), is talking through the security cameras at the Sandins. His message is simple: kick their prey out - or become one like him. And he means business. Big time.

Will James comply? Will he kick the man out to save his family? Or will he take the moral high ground and protect the dude? If so, can they last the night and outwit the Purgers long enough to reach the end of the Purge Period? Are all those solid steel barriers strong enough to keep out a band of resourceful killers? Will Mary stand by and let her husband sign their death warrants? Who will live? Who will die? How will this Purge Night end?

Two words: not well.


BUT SERIOUSLY: Over the years, more and more films are becoming High Concept to be commercially viable. Arguably, the biggest box office successes have been High Concept Movies. As the movie industry has become more and more competitive and cutthroat, reducing a story idea to a one-to-two-catchy-sentences phrase greatly increases the chances of peaking the interest of studios.

This isn't to say, however, that a High Concept automatically translates to a High Quality Film. We've seen many High Concept films disappoint just as often as they please. In the end, there's only one conclusion to draw: whether or not a film has a High Concept, execution is everything. A film with a catchy pitch will still fail if its execution doesn't live up to the promise of its premise. Further proof of that is THE PURGE.

This film has an admittedly arresting (if ultimately highly unbelievable) premise: all criminal activity being sanctioned one night a year to maintain population control and overall order - and what happens to one family that gets caught in the crossfire. And while the initial passages of the THE PURGE have a potent sense of hushed dread to them as we approach the beginning of Purge Night, the story begins to fall apart at the beginning of the second act - and then flaming out entirely in the third act.

The start of the second act is the point where the innocent, unnamed man played by Edwin Hodge, chased by the Purge mob, is given sanctuary by Charlie into the Sandin house. The Purge mob subsequently converges onto the domicile, threatening all sorts of heinous punishments to the James and his family, should they continue to harbor the man. In theory, this is when the suspense factor of THE PURGE was suppose intensify and ratchet up. Instead, the movie begins to flatline.

At this mark, THE PURGE turns into just another home invasion thriller along the lines of PANIC ROOM, THE STRANGERS, STRAW DOGS (original and remake), and the upcoming YOU'RE NEXT - with very strong doses of ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 (original and remake) mixed in. It should be noted that writer/director James DeMonaco is also one of the screenwriters of the ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 remake (which also starred Ethan Hawke) from 2005, which I really liked. The problem is DeMonaco is recycling that superior film's central premise (which was already recycled from the classic original in 1976) in THE PURGE, and the end result is ineffably weak and, by now, thoroughly lacking in freshness.

In ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13, both the 1976 and 2005 versions, we have the similar set-up of an individual being protected within an isolated location - with a murderous mob trying to break in and kill him, and also anyone who stands in the way. In those films, we could understand why the mob had a vested interest in killing their prey. In the 1976 film, he was a murder witness who could identify the perpetrators. In the 2005 film, he was a mob boss who knew about high-level police corruption. In both films, we got why the villains wanted to break in.

In THE PURGE, however, we are never told why the mob has zeroed in on this lone individual who has sough shelter at the Sandin stronghold. He very much seems like an innocent bystander who just happened to run into the mob - and was chased. Given the lack of a compelling motivation for the bad guys, their determination to break into the Sandin house to kill him makes no sense. Eventually, the cat-and-mouse chases that should have been the backbone of this film, end up becoming redundant and tiresome. In particular, there is a long stretch in the middle of the film where everyone just seems to be creeping around in the dark with flashlights bumping into each other. It all ends up being very rote.

THE PURGE might have been saved from its interminable second act by a solid, suspenseful third act and climax. Unfortunately, aside from the promise of a potentially very nasty plot twist near the end which DeMonaco deliciously teases us with, the third act is just as routine and uneventful as the middle section - and the ending falls completely flat. In the end, DeMonaco fails to deliver on his catchy High Concept. At the screening we attended, I overheard the couple in front of us comment afterward that they were expecting more to be done with the premise than just to show one family being terrorized. In DeMonaco's defense, given his production's low budget ($3,000,000), a broader action canvas showing widespread chaos was just not feasible. However, I'm sure he could've come up with a more compelling story to tell with his funding, than just a retread of ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13.

THE PURGE might have also fared stronger if we actually cared about the Sandin family. However, in the film's first act (the strongest part), they are shown to be a group of superficial materialists. That doesn't exactly lend itself to sympathy. The script also doesn't adequately plant the seeds of morality that are supposed to make Charlie - and then James - decide to defy the Purge mob. As a result, their "changes of heart" that lead to the pivotal decision to protect the hunted man later on simply don't ring true. Another flaw of the script are some fairly corny lines in the third act - especially one uttered by Lena Headey near the end that had me close my eyes and wish I hadn't heard it. I have had a crush on Lena Headey forever, and I think she is a great talent, but even she can't pull off that line without sounding ridiculous. I doubt Meryl Streep, the best actress ever, could do it, either.

In the end, THE PURGE is a prime example of a High Concept movie with overall lousy execution. Evidence of that is shown in the film box-office performance: it opened very big the first weekend, then dropped precipitously by about 75% in second weekend - proof that even mainstream audiences know a fumbled High Concept when they see it.

# 507 - WORLD WAR Z (2013)

WORLD WAR Z (2013 - HORROR / ACTION / ZOMBIE FLICK) **** out of *****

(Oh, goddamnit: the Zombie Apocalypse is here - again...)






CAST: Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, Daniella Kertesz, Fana Mokoena, James Badge Dale, David Morse, Ludi Boeken, Pierfrancesco Favino, Ruth Negga, Abigail Hargrove, Peter Capaldi, Sterling Jerins, Elyes Gabel, Moritz Bleibtreu, Fabrizio Zacharee Guido.

DIRECTOR: Marc Forster

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some damn good reasons to prepare for the impending Zombie Apocalypse - straight ahead.




IT'S LIKE THIS: Ah, the Zombie Flick... If there has ever been a cinematic sub-genre that has successfully walked the tricky gauntlet and morphed from "guilty-B-movie-pleasure" to "cool-and-hip-experience," it is this one. If only George Romero could've seen the future waaaaaay back in 1968 when he released the Grand-Daddy Of Zombie Flicks, NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD... I wonder if he would have copyrighted and patented the term "Living Dead" or "Zombie Apocalypse" (which is basically the idea of the Earth being overrun by the walking maggot farms)? I sure as fuck would have. Forget about going back in a time machine and buying stock in Google or starting Facebook before Mark Zuckerberg ever got that first glimmer in his conniving little eyes, folks. Legally claiming the rights to the Zombie Flick Sub-Genre before it exploded in popularity would have been a much more surefire way to fame and fortune.

Unfortunately, Georgie R. wasn't clairvoyant, and he probably thought his little low-budget indie flick about seven hapless humans barricading themselves in an isolated farmhouse, while ravenous flesh-eating pus-bags circle outside in exponentially-increasing numbers, would probably just turn a respectable profit and nothing more. Instead, however, it went off like a supernova at the box-office and became not just a landmark American horror film, but a landmark film - period. Next thing you knew, cinemas and theatres were inundated over the next four decades with sequels and copycats and spin-offs and rip-offs and satires and remakes and reimaginings with titles like THE LIVING DEAD AT MANCHESTER MORGUE, DAWN OF THE DEAD, ZOMBIE, TOMB OF THE BLIND DEAD, CITY OF THE WALKING DEAD, OASIS OF THE LIVING DEAD, RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, SHAUN OF THE DEAD, DAY OF THE DEAD, LAND OF THE DEAD, I FUCKED A ZOMBIE and ASSHOLE OF THE LIVING DEAD. Okay, I was kidding about those last two, but just barely. Is it any surprise that 3 out of 5 Americans today are convinced that the Zombie Apocalypse is eventually going to occur? This is according to a poll I conducted on a group of drunk friends one night at a party several years ago - so forgive me if my scientific process is a bit suspect.

Well, if our latest review is any indication, I'm not too far off the mark. WORLD WAR Z chronicles what happens when a mysterious new super-virus spreads around the planet, without any kind of warning, and turns its victims into rabid, biting ghouls who run faster than Jackie Joyner-Kersey on a major caffeine spike. And if you are bitten, you yourself will turn into a rabid, biting ghoul who can run faster than Jackie Joyner-Kersey on a major caffeine spike - in ten seconds flat. It’s kind of like a searing case of Herpes running rampant among a horny submarine crew. So, as you can imagine, humanity is pretty much fucked.

Unless our hero can save the day, that is. He is Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt), recently retired United Nations investigator from Philadelphia whose first day as Mr. Mom/Stay At Home Husband is seriously cock-blocked when the virus explodes in downtown Philly at the height of rush hour. Before you know it, Gerry, wife Karin (Mireille Enos), and daughters Connie and Abby (Sterling Jerins & Abigail Hargrove) are carjacking a camper and high-tailing it out of the big city to avoid being devoured by the suddenly-transformed downtown lunchtime crowd. If you know what I mean.

Now, if Gerry was just a mere doctor or lawyer or architect, he and his family would be so supremely screwed. But, as mentioned before, our hero is a former UN investigator. And UN investigators usually have friends in very high places who come in very handy during international emergencies - and Gerry is no exception. One quick phone call to his former boss, Thierry (Fana Mokoena), swiftly confirms that Zombiegeddon is here - and Thierry quickly arranges for a chopper to pick up Gerry and his brood. Of course, by the time the chopper arrives the next morning, Gerry's family has increased by one: he now has a foster son named Tommy (Fabrizio Zachary Guido), the kid of the kind-hearted and self-sacrificing Spanish couple who allowed Gerry and his clan to hide in their flat until the chopper could arrive. Unfortunately, the zombies showed up and cornered Tommy's mom and pop and, well, it's a mess. Trust me.

Anyhow, Gerry, Karin, Abby, Connie, and Tommy are all whisked away to some aircraft carrier in the Atlantic Ocean - where what appears to be the Most Depressingly Tragic Block Party Ever is unfolding. The ship is filled with two kinds of people: (1) desperate survivors and refugees like Gerry and his peeps; and (3) high-falutin' military mucky-mucks and bossy government big-wigs running around and barking orders and trying to basically find out what the fuck is going on. Which leads me to why Thierry so generously sent a private chopper to fetch Gerry's family (plus new foster son) and whisk them away to safety. Oh, I'm sure that friendship and loyalty had something to do with it - but I would be high off my gourd if I pretended that's all that motivated Thierry's actions.

You see, it turns out that Gerry is a bit of a SuperStud when it comes to his former job. If there was a James Bond Award for U.N. Investigating, at least five Gold Medals would be hanging on Gerry's walls. That is, if the zombies hadn't already leveled his study and the rest of this house along with it. It's this special ability of Gerry's that Thierry wants to exploit - by sending Gerry back into the field to find out how the zombie virus started. Thierry says that Karin, Connie, Abby, and Tommy's sanctuary on the ship is contingent on Gerry agreeing to go back into the jaws of death (millions of them), and doing what he does best - investigating. Bottom line: if he declines, they're back on that rooftop in Philly in a couple of hours.

I don't have to tell you that the look on Gerry's face at this ultimatum is pretty priceless. After suppressing his rage and counting to ten (maybe even a thousand), Gerry finally agrees to go back out into the zombie warzone to uncover what's what. But not before making a mental note to shove Thierry's head into a toilet bowl, when the whole zombie clusterfuck is over, and flush it repeatedly until the fucker begs for mercy. I, for one, can't wait to see that happen.

After a tearful farewell with Karin and the kids (get over it, guys, daddy has to work now), Gerry boards a C-130 with a bunch of commandos. Their destination: South Korea, where a communique with the word "zombie" in it was intercepted by U.S. Intelligence weeks before the mass outbreak. Hence, Thierry thinks that an important clue is waiting at the Army base where the email originated from. Geez, for these fuckers' sakes, I hope that it wasn't just some stupid tweet from some nerdy fanboy soldier to another, extolling the virtues of SHAUN OF THE DEAD. Because that would be hilarious in a horrendously fucked-up way.

Along for the mission is Dr. Fassbach (Elyes Gabel). According to Thierry, he is some kind of genius virologist - and is Gerry's best ally and hope in the quest to uncover the source of the zombie virus. Unfortunately, Fassbach is also one of those obnoxious super-duper brilliant scientists who are exceedingly book-smart - but have less-than-zero street smarts and are about as sharp as overcooked broccoli when they are out in the field (AKA The Real World).

Sure enough, a mere few minutes after landing at the abandoned army base in South Korea, the "brilliant" Dr. Fassbach accidentally shoots himself in the head with his own gun. Yes, folks... you read that right: the alleged genius virologist who is supposed to save the world... shoots... himself... in... the... head... with... his... OWN... GUN. This is the guy that is supposed to help Gerry? I don't know if Fassbitch's death is a bad thing - or a very, very good thing because he's out of the picture now and can’t fuck shit up. Judging by the look of relief on Gerry's face, I think I'll go with the latter. Probably wanted to strangle the asshole from the moment they met.

So what will happen now that Gerry is on his own and without scientific help? Will he be able to trace the source of the virus to "Patient Zero?" Who could it be? Is it someone in the army base in South Korea? Or elsewhere? What happens when the trail leads Gerry to Israel? Why have the Israelis been building a 200-foot wall around Jerusalem for the past 3 months? Did they know something in advance? If so, why didn't they share it with the rest of the world? And will that wall really keep the zombies out? And why do the zombies avoid attacking certain people? Why are these individuals special? Could this lead to a cure - or at the very least, a way to "camouflage" humans from the zombies? And how will Gerry discover it? Will the surviving doctors (Pierfrancesco Favino, Ruth Negga, Peter Capaldi, & Moritz Bleibtreu) at a World Health Organization clinic in Cardiff, Wales that has been overrun with zombies be able to help? Or is the world destined to lose World War Z?

Guess.


BUT, SERIOUSLY: If there was ever a film that had an eventful journey from novel to screen, it's WORLD WAR Z. The last film I can think of that had a similarly torturous adaptation from book to movie is another Paramount Pictures release from 1993: Sharon Stone's misunderstood thriller, SLIVER. Like SLIVER, WORLD WAR Z is based on a bestselling novel that the studios were sure would make for a good film. Like SLIVER, WORLD WAR Z changed significantly throughout development and initial filming. And like SLIVER, WORLD WAR Z got a lukewarm response from early screenings by Paramount - necessitating extensive reshoots that resulted in a very different ending.

Unlike SLIVER, though, the reshoots actually benefited WORLD WAR Z and improved the finished product. SLIVER's original ending was darker and way ahead of its time, with the heroine completely embracing the dark side, making it somewhat of an early forerunner to FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY - but with more of a thriller feel. Had Paramount stood their ground and supported their original vision for SLIVER, despite initial test screening reactions, I'm sure it would have been a stronger film.

But they decided to play it safe and had Joe Eszterhas (SLIVER's adapting screenwriter who also wrote BASIC INSTINCT) "sanitize" the film and make it less edgy. As a result, SLIVER misfired at the box-office because the story was significantly compromised by the changed ending. The original finale was far more intriguing and made more sense, because it brought Sharon Stone's character, Carly, full circle to her dark destiny.

On the other hand, WORLD WAR Z's original third act and ending were, from what I read, overly-complicated and too heavy on the action. The powers-that-be at Paramount correctly decided to delay WORLD WAR Z's release so that the last third of the film could be changed to something more cerebral, suspenseful, and less action-oriented. Unlike with SLIVER, Paramount made the right decision this time: the new third act and finale are of WORLD WAR Z are solid examples of how to build genuine suspense and dread with very little ingredients. The original ending was just not good enough, and the new one is much better, saving the film instead of hurting it like what happened with SLIVER's reshoots.

Brad Pitt is in solid form as Gerry Lane. He doesn't really have much time to establish his character in our minds before the zombie crisis hits, so Pitt uses good old-fashioned charisma to do the trick. And it works. By the time the madness explodes in the street at around the five-minute mark, we are right in step with the Lane family as they try to survive the horrible circumstances they (and the rest of the World) suddenly find themselves in, because Pitt’s inherent likability sells the character. Mireille Enos as Karin Lane is also effective, especially considering she is playing someone who has more “unspoken lines” than she does spoken ones. Karin has to convey a lot of her fear and concern through expressions and glances, and Enos’ innately expressive face comes in very handy for this.

Pitt (who also produced the film) wisely surrounds himself with relative unknowns like Enos. There are no other A-List celebrities (aside from Pitt) in this movie to distract us from the situation at hand. The result: the characters feel real and like actual human beings – not stars in make-up and costume. Aside from Enos, the other major supporting cast standout is Daniella Kertesz as Segen, a female Israeli soldier who becomes Gerry’s unlikely ally in unraveling the zombie contagion. We joked earlier that Gerry is like the “James Bond of the UN.” If we go with that analogy, then it’s also fair to say that Segen is his “Bond Girl” – and a very resourceful and resilient one, at that. Kertesz more than holds her own next to her much more accomplished and veteran co-star.

James Badge Dale, David Morse, and Ludi Boeken are all strong as various characters who each hold different pieces of the puzzle that Gerry is trying to solve. Dale, in particular, is quite good as an average American army grunt at the South Korean base, who rises to the occasion when the occasion gets seriously nasty. Morse is suitably creepy and compelling in equal measure as a CIA traitor who shares with Gerry some very disturbing information about how North Korea is combating the zombie plague. And Boeken is a refreshingly straight-talking presence as the Israeli war strategist who has taken a very pragmatic stance on fighting the contagion.

The final (and most eerie) act of WORLD WAR Z takes place at an isolated World Health Organization laboratory outside Cardiff, Wales. This last section of the movie was the subject of the extensive reshoots we talked about earlier – and in my opinion it is easily the best part of the film. I like how the movie starts with a bang – and revs up into an action-packed rollercoaster ride. Then it reaches this final stretch at the zombie-infested WHO lab – and things slow down considerably. At this point, the narrative transforms quite unexpectedly into a strikingly suspenseful game of cat-and-mouse, with Gerry, Segen, and the surviving lab doctors trying to outwit the zombies who are lurking around every corner. It a bravura sequence that is downright Hitchcockian. The fact that the studio insisted on this more pared-down and nail-biting finale is welcome proof that maybe the powers-that-be in Hollywood sometimes know what is best. Unlike with SLIVER’s reshoots and revised ending.

Director Marc Forster, who caught a lot of flak for his nearly-nauseous herky-jerky camerawork in the Bond flick QUANTUM OF SOLACE, appears to have improved considerably as an action director. WORLD WAR Z’s action setpieces are exciting and easy to track, unlike QUANTUM’s sequences, which were often confusing and dizzying. However, QUANTUM also had a certain bleak, sinister atmosphere to it that gave the story some gravity and punch – and Forster brings that same sense of realism and danger to WORLD WAR Z. As we follow Gerry from the US to South Korea, then to Israel, and finally to that overrun WHO lab in Wales, there is genuine tension and the impression that anything can happen at any time – to anyone. That is the mark of true suspense.

Ultimately, WORLD WAR Z’s reshoots and revised ending saved it – and it is an invigorating and excitingly atypical entry into the crowded Zombie Flick sub-genre. Given the big box-office that greeted the film upon release, Paramount immediately announced that a sequel will soon go into production – and that is welcome news, indeed. Let’s hope that WORLD WAR Z 2 will be another potent blend of visceral action and hushed terror – just like this one.

Summer Days (and Nights...)

Hiya, folks...

Sorry for the delay in getting the Summer Reviews started. It's been a pretty busy last couple of months with work, projects, travel, and good old-fashioned hanky-panky..... : )

THE GREAT GATSBY, IRON MAN 3, and MAN OF STEEL have posted today, with WORLD WAR Z, THE PURGE, THIS IS THE END, THE HEAT, BERBERIAN SOUND STUDIO, THE LONE RANGER, & MONSTERS U, and assorted others, posting within the next week.

Hope everyone is enjoying the balmy weather. We sure are... Have fun! : )

A sneak peek of things to come:















Hope you folks had a great Fourth... enjoy the weather! : )

# 506 - MAN OF STEEL (2013)

MAN OF STEEL (2013 - SUPERHERO / ACTION) **** out of *****

(Andrew Garfield, this role should have been yours...)



CAST: Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Russell Crowe, Kevin Costner, Diane Lane, Antje Trauer, Michael Shannon, Christopher Meloni, Ayelet Zurer.

DIRECTORS: Zack Snyder

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one refreshingly dark and intense Superman - straight ahead....






IT'S LIKE THIS: These days, you can't hock a loogie in any direction without hitting at least three Superhero-Reboot flicks. First, we had BATMAN BEGINS in 2005, wherein brooding Christian Bale and Christopher Nolan saved the Batman franchise from the Seventh Circle Of Kitsch Hell that Joel Schumacher dropped it in. Had it not been for Messrs Bale and Nolan, the Batman Franchise would still be languishing amidst the rotting remains of Poison Ivy's fungi-green bustier and Robin's codpiece and Lord knows how many batsuit nipples.

Then, in 2012, the Spiderman franchise was brought back to its roots (some say unnecessarily) with THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN and given a less comic-book feel, and more of a real-world vibe. Plus, it introduced the amazing Andrew Garfield and his endless talents to the whole world. Garfield had already been wowing folks on a smaller scale in BOY A and NEVER LET ME GO - but THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN is the flick wherein he truly takes a bow in front of the Planet.

Then there are the plans to reboot the FANTASTIC FOUR movies. Never mind that there was absolutely nothing wrong with the two that came out just a few years ago. And let me just go on record and say that whoever they choose to play Johnny Storm can never even come close to topping Chris Evans. Hmmm... somehow that sounded dirtier than I intended. Because if anyone should top anyone else, it should be Chris Evans doing the topping. Hmmm.... somehow that sounded even dirtier, but at least more appropriate since Chris Evans should always be on top. Hmmmm... Nope, still dirty. Whatever.

Anyhow, with all this reboot mania going around, it was only a matter of time until folks dusted off another moribund superhero franchise - and try to sexify it with new blood (and pecs). This time, the Reboot Machine has placed the Superman mythos in its crosshairs - and has pulled the trigger with a vengeance. Of course, given that the last Superman flick was the decent but largely unremarkable SUPERMAN RETURNS from 2006, that was kind of a no-brainer. And since the aforementioned Mr. Christopher "The Dark Side Is Kind Of Cool" Nolan is producing this reboot, you just know we're not going to see Lex Luthor cracking stupid jokes anywhere in sight.

The flick is titled MAN OF STEEL, lest anyone get it confused with any of the other Superman sagas that came before. This time, Superman is played by Henry Cavill, who has got hairy pecs to die for and certainly looks the part of Superman. However, as hot as Henry C. is, I couldn't help but feel that this role should have gone to Andrew Garfield, who could've played this more conflicted and brooding Superman in his sleep. Of course, you would argue, Andy G. can't exactly place Spiderman and Superman at the same time, can he? My response: why the hell not? No offense to Mr. Cavill, who is okay in the role, but Andy G. would've won an Oscar if he'd donned the cape. Just saying...

Anyhow, casting preferences aside, we know we are in for a different Superman because this one is not like the dull, goodie-goodies of the past. This one believes in payback. For example: (1) he uses his laser eyes to heat a doorknob and burn the hand of a teacher who is seriously annoying him; (2) he takes the truck of an loutish trucker - and impales it on several dozen towering redwoods; and (3) he dispatches the villain at the end in such a controversial way that World War Whatever has broken out among the fanboys. In short, Kal-El/Superman is a bit more of a bad-ass this time. Which is absolutely okay in my book.

Just like the previous Superman stories, Kal-El (Superman's real name) is jettisoned from his dying home planet, Krypton, by his ultra-hot dad, Jor-El (Russell Crowe). Jor-El is being thwarted by the jackass General Zod (Michael Shannon), but manages to outwit the choad and send Kal-El off into space in some high-tech life-pod. Cue the explosion of Krypton and everyone else on it. Off course, General Zod and his cronies just conveniently get sent into the some place called The Phantom Zone just before Krypton goes tits up. Is that supposed to be punishment?

Cut back to baby Kal-El, who lands on Earth and is found and adopted by Jonathan and Martha Kent (Kevin Costner and Diane Lane). They christen him "Clark" - and try to raise him like their own blood. However, they know their adopted son is "special" - primarily because he, you know, crash-landed on Earth in some high-tech space pod. Oh, and the fact that he can lift an entire school bus with a single arm is another clue that he ain't your average red-blooded American boy. Jonathan counsels Clark to hide his powers, because most humans are convenient assholes who persecute those more talented than the norm. And to say Clark Kent is talented is like saying that Einstein was kind of smart.

Clark ends up going on the road to "find himself." This leads him to an itinerant life where he performs good deeds to those who need it. Unfortunately, his latest good deed is what just might threaten to expose his "talents" to the world. This time, he saves driven and determined reporter Lois Lane (Amy Adams) from a grisly death. You see, Lois has arrived in some remote Alaskan glacier to investigate some mysterious object buried deep in the ice. It just so happens that Clark is there, too, impersonating a contractor because he believes the object is tied in to his past.

Before you know it, Lois is trying to find out the identity of her enigmatic savior. Being the bloodhound writer/photographer that she is, she immediately sniffs out a trail of urban legends that tell about a mysterious hot guy with superhuman strength who likes to save people. Soon, she has traced the source of the stories to their point of origin: the Kent farm. There, she meets Martha Kent and Mr. Hottie himself. Clark requests that Lois drop her investigation of him, to protect his mother. Lois, realizing that Clark looks even hotter in person, says "sure, why not?" Way to think from between your legs, Lois.

Meanwhile, while Clark and Lois have been getting to know one another better, General Zod and his flunkies have managed to escape the Phantom Zone - and are making a beeline for Earth. Upon arrival, General Zod sends a message heard around the world, demanding that Kal-El/Superman surrender immediately. Zod states that if he doesn't get what he wants in 24 hours, the world is basically sawdust and car parts. Talk about putting pressure on a guy...

So... will Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman surrender to Zod to save the Earth? What does Zod want from Clark anyway? And how will Lois protect him? Or is she the one who needs protecting? What happens when Zod and Superman duke it out in the middle of Metropolis? What's going to happen to all that real estate? Are the people of Metropolis insured against "Superhero Battle Damage?"

Let's hope so...


BUT, SERIOUSLY: Out of all the superheroes in the pantheon, Superman is the one who is the most clean-cut and "not of this Earth." Unlike Batman and his alter-ego Bruce Wayne, or Spiderman and his alter-ego Peter Parker who are humans with special abilities and/or tools, Kal-El is a being from another planet with god-like powers. The challenge, then, is how to make Superman relatable to average folks.

The original SUPERMAN film in 1978 that introduced Christopher Reeve had a child-like sense of wonder combined with a classic coming of age story about a boy finding his bearings and becoming a man. SUPERMAN RETURNS in 2006 turned Clark Kent/Kal-El into a Christ-like figure who sacrificed himself for mankind and was a symbol for good. Unfortunately, the film didn't portray his struggles with coming to terms with his greater purpose - he simply accepted it. That doesn't necessarily translate to compelling cinema. As a result, SUPERMAN RETURNS is often labeled as too genteel and almost bland.

Fotunately, MAN OF STEEL decides to emphasize Clark's dilemma: pursue his destiny and be a leader for humanity, as decreed by his natural father, Jor-El; or hide his other-worldly nature and try to blend in with the people of Earth, as advised by his adoptive father, Jonathan Kent. This conundrum is what forms the emotional core of the film, and the bonds between these two fathers and their common son is the fulcrum that propels the story forward. This decision to portray Clark's grapples with his super abilities is what gives MAN OF STEEL the drawing power that SUPERMAN RETURNS didn't have.

As Clark's two fathers, Russell Crowe and Kevin Costner bring good old-fashioned star power to the proceedings. Crowe gives Jor-El a solid gravity that practically burns through the screen. In comparison, Marlon Brando in the same role in the 1978 film was a bit of a lightweight. Costner is also ideally cast as Jonathan Kent, and perfectly exemplifies Middle American decency and goodness. At its heart, MAN OF STEEL is love story between fathers and sons, and Crowe and Costner make exceptional fathers to one very special son.

Diane Lane is her wonderfully expressive self as Martha Kent., Clark's adoptive mother. Her almost empathic abilities as an actress come into great use in her scenes with Clark growing up, and then later when Clark is an adult and still needing guidance that neither of his dead fathers can provide at that point. Ayelet Zurer is also good as Lara, Kal-El's natural mother. She probably gets the least amount of screen time than the other parents, but she makes the most of it.

As for the heroine of MAN OF STEEL, Amy Adams delivers probably the best interpretation of Lois Lane, to date. Growing up, Lois Lane was one my favorite characters, but the earlier films fumbled her presentation. In the Christopher Reeve movies, she was kind of a ditz. In SUPERMAN RETURNS, she was better written, but was portrayed by Kate Bosworth, an actress who was far too young to be believable as a worldly, intense, and sophisticated photojournalist. In MAN OF STEEL, Adams finally brings Lois Lane into the 21st century and makes her believably tough, intelligent, resourceful, and human.

Michael Shannon & Antje Trauer are solid as the villains, General Zod and Foura-Il. Shannon portrays the best kind of baddie: one who doesn't think he is bad - but believes his own agenda is just as worthy as that of the good guy. This makes him more fathomable and compelling than a one-dimensional villain. Trauer also makes for a formidable associate. Fortunately, the script gives her more than enough room to make her mark on the story. Laurence Fishburne and Christopher Meloni are similary impressive in supporting turns.

And last but not the least is Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman himself. The big question is does Henry Cavill cut it as the new Man of Steel? The short answer is "Yes." However, is he the best Superman ever? The short answer is "No." Christopher Reeve still holds that title with his combo of boyishness and gravity. Cavill is okay as this new interpretation of a darker, more human Superman. But there seems to be something missing in his portrayal. He hits all the right notes, but that intangible "something" that propels a good performance to the next level and makes it a timeless one is missing.

Unlike Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker in Spiderman, who took a role and made it unforgettably his own, Cavill is merely competent - but not commanding. He looks the part and acquits himself well, but I keep thinking of what it would have been like with someone of Andrew Garfield's emotional transparency and soulful caliber in the role. Obviously, Garfield is already known as Spiderman and is committed to that franchise, but in my opinion, he would have been perfect for the darker, more intense, and heartbreakingly human Superman of MAN OF STEEL. Had Garfield (or someone like him) played Clark Kent in MAN OF STEEL, the film would have rated even higher.

In the end, though, Cavill is good enough. He doesn't hurt the film, and it remains an interesting departure from the typical Superman chronicle. Despite the uproar MAN OF STEEL has caused with loyal fans, old and new, with its out-of-the-box portrayal of Superman, the fact remains that it is a very good film - and anticipation is already high for the inevitable sequel.

# 505 - IRON MAN 3 (2013)

IRON MAN 3 (2013 - SUPERHERO / ACTION) **** out of *****

(Hail to the D!)



CAST: Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, Rebecca Hall, Stephanie Szostak, James Badge Dale, Ty Simpkins.

DIRECTORS: Shane Black

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some damn good reasons to date a rich, sexy, douchebag - straight ahead....




IT'S LIKE THIS: Remember those utterly stupid douche commercials that scream "Hail To The V!!!" which imply that the greatest battles in history were started by men who just wanted some unattainable pussy? Well, we should start a campaign called "Hail To The D!!!". Or to be more explicit: "Hail To The Douche!"

Before you start thinking that our campaign will extol the virtues of douching, allow me to disappoint you. We don't mean a literal "douche." When we say "douche", we mean it figuratively. You know - that swaggering kind who walks into a room on two legs and wows everyone with his potent brand of sexy, douchebag charisma. You know you've known a few in your time, and have felt the inexorable pull of their "sexy asshole" vibe. Don't deny it. While my #1 absolute dream guy, in the end, will always be a nice, sexy, goofy dork, I have to admit that sometimes the sight of Robert Downey Jr. doing his best "Alluring Douchemeister" routine turns my knees (and nuts) into Jell-O.

And if there was ever a film series that best showcased Robby DJ's particular brand of "I'm Too Sexy For Any Of Your Fuckers" charm, it is the IRON MAN flicks. We first met Robert Downey Jr. playing Sexy Douchelord Tony Stark in IRON MAN 1, where he basically went from Sexy Douche to Sexy Douche In A Suit Of Shining Armor and saved the world. Then in IRON MAN 2, he basically spent two more hours swaggering around and making a good case for finding the first unshaven guy you see and handcuffing him to his bed - and subsequently harvesting his sperm for the next, oh, two-to-three years.

And now, we have IRON MAN 3, where Tony Stark takes his Sexy Douche charisma to the next level - by becoming all vulnerable and shit. And, sorry, but I will always be a sucker for a hot, sexy, assholish guy who shows me that can still lose confidence once in awhile. So adorable.

Anyhow, our third chapter in the IRON MAN chronicles kicks off on Millenium Eve in Bern, Switzerland. We know it is 1999-going-on-2000 because of one major clue: Eifel's uber-peppy ditty "Blue" is blaring on the soundtrack. And if there is a song out there that effortlessly captures the late 90's and gets your head boppin', it's "Blue." Anyhow, we zero in on one particular party, where we catch a glimpse of Tony Stark in his "Young Douchebag" days. He's already every bit the charming jerk, and manages to sweet talk hot scientist Dr. Maya Hanson (Rebecca Hall) into going up to his suite so he can, you know, hear more about her research. Sweetie, the only research Tony is going to do is explore your V. Hail! Not.

Dr. Barbie (AKA Maya) isn't the only major character we are introduced to in this early "Millenium" sequence. We also meet Dr. Aldrich Killian (Guy Pearce). Now, folks, let me just say that while it is indeed the hunky Guy Pearce who is playing Dr. Killian, you wouldn't know it from the godawful hair and buck teeth that he is sporting. Yes, folks, you just know that with Guy P. playing this character, Killian's not going to stay "homely" for long. And yes, folks... it means exactly what you think: there is a makeover in this guy's future. Because the villains in superhero movies have to be hotties. It's a golden rule.

Sure enough, 13 years later, who should turn up at Stark Industries, lookin' all tan and buff and shit, but Dr. Killian himself. Apparently, he discovered the art of orthodontia and hairstylists and tanning beds - and is now someone you wouldn't think twice about fucking. He's so hot that he has former flame Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) rethinking her commitment to Tony - and contemplating removing his pants with her teeth. Well, we're not exactly 100% sure if she wants to take his pants off with his teeth, but that dazed look on her face when Killian walks away from her pretty much says it all. I recognize it, because I get that look to when I seriously contemplating fucking the shit out of someone. Ahem.

At any rate, things get dicey when some formidable baddie named The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley) seizes control of the TV networks and airs sinister terror warnings. Presumably because it's more entertaining than the shit that you see on the networks these days. To make things even more dicey, Tony declares war on The Mandarin and dares him to come visit his palace in Malibu to duke it out. Imagine Tony and Pepper's surprise when The Mandarin actually accepts and sends his goons to blow the place up. What the fuck were they expecting? A nice chat over tea and biscuits?

Before you know it, Tony has to go on the run and find a way to put a stop to The Mandarin. But how can he fight an opponent that seems to be everywhere and five steps ahead of him all the time? And what about Pepper? How can Tony keep her safe? And what happens when Maya (AKA Dr. Barbie) shows up again after all these years? What is her agenda? Or is she just another innocent caught up in the maelstrom? And what role does Aldrich "Kiss My Sexy Ass" Killian have in all of this? And what is The Mandarin's true nature? Who is the real baddie here?

Who cares. I just want to know who was in charge of Killian's makeover. Talk about a serious180.


BUT, SERIOUSLY: Someone once asked me what the difference is between a solidly good movie (***1/2) and a very good one (****). My answer was pretty simple: "A **** movie is basically a ***1/2 movie - but with more 'ooomph'." In other words, a very good movie is a good movie that brings more to the table. That added element can be more humor, more action, more emotion, or more spectacle - but in the end, it makes a deeper, bigger impact on the audience.

Such is the case of IRON MAN 3. It already has the bones and framework of a good movie - but the extra touches of humor, humanity, and visceral thrills elevate it to the next level. While the IRON MAN films have been known for their more laconic, offbeat feel (compared to the intensity and grit of the DARK KNIGHT films, or the emotion and pathos of THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN), this third film has an even more laid-back, quirky feel to it. Director Shane Black penned the LETHAL WEAPON films and directed KISS KISS BANG BANG, films that combined acid humor with fast action - and he brings the same vibe to IRON MAN 3: a trademark combo of snarky humor and solid thrills.

The plot follows the templates of IRON MAN 1 & 2, and virtually every other superhero film out there: a fearsome baddie rears his head, threatens the World, and the hero must defeat him/her with the help of allies (some of whom turn out to be baddies themselves). However, Black and his cast of vibrant performers take the template and run far with it. By now, Robert Downey Jr. has perfected playing Tony Stark, showing all the colors to this dynamic guy: the reckless, confident genius; the courageous humanitarian; and the vulnerable guy behind the bravado. And in IRON MAN 3, he takes this aspects to a more vivid level. Quite simply, he's terrific.

Don Cheadle is great support as Stark's best friend, Colonel James Rhodes. Stark and Rhodes have a brotherly chemistry that Downey and Cheadle bring to life effortlessly. As The Mandarin, Ben Kingsley turns in an interestingly nuanced performance. Many hardcore IRON MAN fans were disappointed, even outraged, with how Black and his team tacked this character and tweaked the mythos. Personally, I think it was a brave and atypical choice - and helps set IRON MAN 3 apart from not only the other two films in the series, but also other superhero films. In any case, Kingsley does the role justice and is quite memorable.

As for the other main villain, Guy Pearce is riveting as Dr. Aldrich Killian. Pearce puts his own spin on that thriller archetype: The Smoothly Seductive Villain. Pearce makes Killian's transformation from nerdy outcast to cool, confident mastermind a very engaging one. The true test to Killian's charisma is how believably he can throw Pepper off her track by his presence and charisma - and Pearce pulls this off flawlessly. So much so that we feel the same disorientation that Pepper feels when she meets him again. Pearce also brings Killian's vicious side to the fore in a very visceral way - reminding us of the danger and menace beneath the sleek, handsome exterior.

As for Pepper, Gwyneth Paltrow now wears the role like a second skin, just like Downey with Tony - and delivers a solid turn. Pepper even manages to get in on the action at the end. While she has always been involved in the plot since the first film, it's nice to see Pepper play a pivotal role in the climax in the most unexpected of ways. It's also something of poetic justice, when you think about it. You'll see.

The other main female role is Dr. Maya Hanson, the brilliant scientist whose scientific research and discovery fuels the plot. Maya is an interesting, conflicted character who, unfortunately, gets somewhat short-changed by the script. I would've loved for her role to have been expanded into the third act. There's a perfunctory feel to how her character exits the action so abruptly. It would've been interesting to have further developed the triangle between Pepper, Tony, and Maya - and might have lent even more emotional impact to the third act. Nevertheless, the talented Rebecca Hall manages to make the most of her limited screen time, providing nuance and dimension to a role that could've (and should've) been bigger. Hall is especially good in a quiet heart-to-heart moment with Paltrow as Pepper in a motel room, before all the action starts.

Ultimately, IRON MAN 3 is a very good entry into the trilogy that sets itself apart from the first two films by the sardonic bite and surprisingly thoughtful tone that director Shane Black gives it. And, of coure, that stellar cast headed by Robert Downey Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow also deserve credit.

And as a bonus, the music from IRON MAN 3 opening scene, Eifel's awesome hit "Blue"...

# 504 - THE GREAT GATSBY (2013)

THE GREAT GATSBY (2013 - DRAMA / ROMANCE) *** out of *****

(If it's Eye - and Ear - Candy you want, you folks have come to right place...)



CAST: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgerton, Elizabeth Debicki, Isla Fisher.

DIRECTORS: Baz Luhrmann

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some damn good reasons to run out and buy THE GREAT GATSBY soundtrack music - straight ahead...




IT'S LIKE THIS: Man, if you could rate a movie just based on its cinematography and music, THE GREAT GATSBY would rate a perfect ***** (spectacular) rating. This movie is simply gorgeous to look at and listen to. Unfortunately, there are other things that one must take into consideration when reviewing a film - like characterization, plot, emotional resonance, narrative cohesion, and yaddayaddayaddayaddayadda. When taken into consideration, these elements drop THE GREAT GATSBY's rating down to around ***, which is just above average. It could've rated higher, but we'll discuss that in the BUT SERIOUSLY portion of this review.

For now, let's talk story and, more importantly, character. THE GREAT GATSBY is titled so because of its lead character, the mysterious and elusive bazillionaire Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio). Apparently, Jay is like one of those Hollywood moguls from the 70's who loved to throw awesome house parties that make it into the next day's papers, at least, and into the annals of timeless legends, at most. Except Jay lives in the Roaring Twenties, post-World War I, when New York was rising faster than a Great White closing in on a swimmer on the surface. And when the house parties take place in a house that's really more like a castle, well, you get the idea. Anyhow, the "mysterious" and "elusive" parts come into play because, well, it seems that not many people have actually seen Mr. Jay Gatsby, despite his propensity to be one hell of party-thrower. Which just makes him even more fascinating to everyone around him.


Especially Nick Carraway (Tobey Maguire). Nick is no bazillionaire like our boy Jay G. Not even close, but this doesn't stop him from being curious like, oh, the rest of the Eastern seaboard. I suppose it doesn't help that lowly Nick, a humble Wall Street trader, has been staying a lowly beach cottage that is directly adjacent to Jay G.'s massive (and I do mean "massive") estate. Nick even sometimes catches Jay spying on him from one of the castle's (let's face it, folks - it's indeed a fucking castle) windows. But why would a powerful bazillionaire like The Great Jay Gatsby even bother to spy on someone like Nick? And why does Nick suddenly get a special invitation to Jay G.'s next party?

I don't have to tell you folks that Nick getting a invite to Jay Gatsby's party would be kind of like me getting an invite to Andrew Garfield's Body Paint Extravaganza Blowout. Not that Andy G. would ever be that sleazy - but if he did, and he invited me to his shindig, that would be, for me, the equivalent of Nick getting invited to Jay G.'s. Except I don't think Nick wants to lick body paint off Jay G.'s chest, the way I fully intend to do with Andy G. Hmmmmm... well, whatever.

Anyhow, Nick ends up going to the party - and sure enough the event is basically the event version of a mind-blowing orgasm. Trust me, you have not lived until you have attended a party that is basically a 20's flapper extravaganza - but with booming house/techno music on the loud speakers. Yes, folks, it's a melodious mindfuck. But that's what makes the best parties, right? It goes without saying that Nick has somewhat of a good time.

It doesn't hurt that Nick actually manages to meet his mysterious host: the elusive, enigmatic Jay G. Before you know it, the distant millionaire and the diffident average dude are best buddies, and Jay is schooling Nick on the ways of the world. It soon becomes apparent, however, that as genuine and generous as Jay is in his treatment of Nick, he also has a bit of a hidden agenda. Hmmmmm... what could it be?

Well, we don't have to wait long to discover it. See, it turns out that homeboy Nick is cousins with a certain Daisy Buchanan (Carey Mulligan), and rich boy Jay has got the serious hots for her. Jay thinks that he can get Nick to give him a leg up in his pursuit of Daisy. Remember that stupid douching commercial with the slogan "Hail to the V?" which implied that the greatest warriors in human history waged vicious legendary battles in the pursuit of pussy and poontang? Well, Jay's pursuit of Daisy is further proof of it. If you needed cinematic proof of how stupid men can be, look no further than THE GREAT GATSBY.

So... will Nick be able to help Jay win Daisy's snatch, er, hand? How will they deal with the fact that Daisy is already married to the powerful (and powerfully assholish) Tom Buchanan (Joel Edgerton)? Will Tom take all of this lying down? Or is he going to challenge Jay, head-on? Does it matter that Tom himself has been whoring around with a common tramp by the name of Myrtle Wilson (Isla Fisher)? And, come on: is Daisy really worth all that trouble anyway?

Survey says: no. Memo to Jay Gatsby: Manhattan is an ocean teeming with hot fish. Move on, dude...


BUT, SERIOUSLY: Sometimes a film can be well-crafted and directed, but still underwhelm because of the miscasting of a key role. We've seen numerous examples of this over the years. THE GODFATHER III was a solid chapter in the Corleone Family trilogy - but was hampered by the ill-advised casting of Sophia Coppola (the director's daughter) in the pivotal role of Mary Corleone. Coppola has gone on to become a wonderfully talented writer/director who has given us LOST IN TRANSLATION, SOMEWHERE, & THE BLING RING, but at the time of THE GODFATHER III, she just didn't have the life experience to properly bring the tragic Mary to life.

Another example of a good film that was hindered by a very miscast lead is FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL. As the charming but commitment-phobic Charles, Hugh Grant was perfection. However, as the object of his affections - the mysterious, dazzling, and unattainable Carrie - Andie MacDowell was a bit flat. The role required someone so charismatic and breathtaking that we could understand why Charles would be so enamored by her and frustrated by his inability to pin her down. While MacDowell wasn't terrible as Carrie, she was simply not as effective as she should have been. Just imagine if Carrie had been played by the vibrant Julia Roberts - or someone with the same mix of chutzpah, beauty, and vulnerability. If so, FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL would've been an even more exhilarating experience as we watched Charles finally nab the elusive Carrie after years of chasing her.

The same issue that plagued FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL also plagues THE GREAT GATSBY. Both films are about charming men who avoid commitment. Both films chronicle what happens when they each meet an alluring woman who makes them rethink their stance on love. Both films show what happens when the women turn out to be quite difficult to attain, leading to years of heartbreak and emotional cat-and-mouse. And, most significantly, both films feature female leads who are miscast. In FOUR WEDDINGS, Andie MacDowell was competent in her role, but not commanding. In her portrayal, Carrie came across as quite ordinary and not the dazzling, larger-than-life figure she should have been. As a result, we couldn't help but wonder why Charles was so nuts over her. In THE GREAT GATSBY, we have the same exact problem.

Carey Mulligan is one of my favorite performers. She has a solid, grounded presence that makes her suitable for "girl-next-door" roles that combine earthy innocence and wisdom. She delivered such roles quite strongly in AN EDUCATION, WALL STREET 2, and NEVER LET ME GO. Quite simply, Mulligan is a talented performer who makes decency and moral gravity quite compelling to watch. That is a more difficult task to accomplish than you think, since those traits can easily come across as dull, and for that, Mulligan deserves credit. Unfortunately, she doesn't have the range necessary to effectively portray the darker, more complex role of Daisy Buchanan.

As written in F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel, Daisy Buchanan is somewhat like an emotional prism: mercurial, alluring, quicksilver, and elusive. Under the superficial veneer of charm and girlishness are darker, more complex layers - most of which Daisy herself doesn't quite understand or is aware of. Mulligan is okay portraying the surface of Daisy that attracts initial attention - but she fails to show us the deeper shadings that are necessary to keep suitors and admirers like Tom and Jay intrigued and mystified. As such, the character ends up becoming quite boring to watch, and we end up questioning why Gatsby is so obsessed with her. Which undercuts his character, in turn.

Fortunately, Jay Gatsby is played by Leonardo DiCaprio, who has steadily proven his talent over the years. In the hands of a less interesting performer, Gatsby could've come across as a sad chump, especially considering the weakness of Mulligan's portrayal of Daisy. Instead, DiCaprio manages to retain our sympathies. He basically does all the heavy lifting here for the two of them, and keeps us emotionally invested in the "relatinship." It is somewhat tragic, though, because we're supposed to feel bad that Gatsby is separated from his "great" love by circumstances and fate. Instead, we feel bad because he is wasting him time on a woman who is not worth his attention in the first place.

Leading the stellar supporting cast is Tobey Maguire, whose mix of earnest innocence and softness is right for the role of Nick. The character is somewhat of a blank slate, and Maguire correctly plays him this way. This is fine, because Nick Carraway is the "portal character" that the audience uses to view the story. In short, he is "us." His eyes are our own, as we watch the sad saga of Jay Gatsby and Daisy Buchanan unfold.

Joel Edgerton is a dynamite presence as Tom Buchanan, Daisy's husband and Jay's rival. Edgerton has the same potently masculine screen presence that Russell Crowe and Gerard Butler have - that kind of X Factor that fills up a room. They don't have to speak when they enter, because everyone notices them automatically. Edgerton makes Tom into a formidable adversary for Jay. However, as with Jay's obsession with Daisy, Tom's fierce desire to hold on to her is made similarly inexplicable by Mulligan's flat performance as the woman these men are fighting over.

Interestingly, the actress who might have made a smashing and dynamic Daisy is part of the supporting cast: Elizabeth Debicki. She plays Jordan Baker, Daisy's icily distant, somewhat snobbish best friend who initially helps Nick and Jay get Daisy's attention. Debicki makes the role of Jordan feel bigger than it is, infusing her with cool mystery and confident poise. Whenever she is in a scene, she effortlessly steals attention from everyone around her. Your eyes go directly to her - even if she's in the background, not saying a single word, but speaking with gestures and expressions. Debicki is clearly a talent to watch, and I can't help but wonder how much better this film would've been with her playing Daisy.

In the end, THE GREAT GATSBY is hindered by Carey Mulligan's fatal miscasting as Daisy Buchanan - but is saved by strong turns from Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, Joel Edgerton, Isla Fisher, and - especially - Elizabeth Debicki. And let's not forget the vibrant and evocative music that is almost a character of its own. Then again, this is a Baz Luhrmann film, and his films all use music as a powerful way to tell the story.

In closing, please marinade in the music of THE GREAT GATSBY...