TENTACLES (1977 - HORROR) **1/2 out of *****
(Good thing this creature didn't turn up in Japanese waters - otherwise, his ass would've been lunch for the local populace...)
CAST: John Huston, Shelley Winter, Henry Fonda, Bo Hopkins, Delia Boccardo, Claude Akins, Cesare Danova, Alan Boyd, Marc Fiorini, Sherry Buchanan.
DIRECTOR: Ovidio Assonitis
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and compelling reasons to keep your ass as far away from the beach as possible - straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: In our last three Halloween horror reviews, we circled the globe, hopping from England (THE LEGACY) to Japan (THE HOUSE WHERE EVIL DWELLS) and back to the US of A (CAT PEOPLE). Today we go back overseas, but not really, with out next review. What do I mean? Well, folks, basically our next destination is Italy by way of California. You see, our next review is TENTACLES, which is set and shot in Southern Cali with American stars like John Huston, Shelley Winters, Henry Fonda, and Bo Hopkins (yes, you read that right) - but is actually an Italian-directed-and-produced rip-off of JAWS. Except without the marauding Great White shark - but a really pissed-off Giant-Ass Pacific Octopus in its place.
It all starts in the sunny So-Cal beach town of Solana Beach, which is your average West Coast seaside village - except with people who look like John Huston, Shelley Winters, Bo Hopkins, Claude Akins, and the luscious Italian dish Delia Boccardo. Just like JAWS, our main players are busy enjoying the sun & sea and preparing for some festive annual seafaring event, in this case the yearly Solana Beach Regatta. The town mayor, John Corey (Cesare Danova), is also about to enter into a resort development contract with the powerful Trojan Corporation, led by the slick Mr. Whitehead (Peter Fonda). Only an Italian film could name a powerful corporation after a condom brand and keep a straight face. How inconvenient, then, when strange things start happening...
First, a baby disappears from the edge of the local beach, apparently snatched by something in the water (look at the title of this flick and think real hard, folks) while her vapid mother gossips with another woman. Second, a fisherman's boat gets squueeeeeeezzzzzeeeeedddd into nothingness by something in the water (look at the title of this flick and think real hard again, folks) one night while fishing. And third, some local hottie named Judy (Sherry Buchanan) - along with her dumb hick buddies Mike and Chuck (Alan Boyd and Franco Diogene) - disappears while out boating one afternoon (do I have to tell you folks to look at the title of this flick and think real hard again?). All in all, not the best time to be indulging in water-sports in good ol' Solana, CA. Unless, of course, you have a Death Wish.
Anyhow, before long, our townspeople get suspicious (fucking finally!) and Sheriff Robards (Claude Akins) calls in the help of local stud-muffin marine biologist/Orca trainer Will Gleason (Bo Hopkins). Oh, and Will just happens to have an ultra-hot Italian wife named Vicky (Delia Boccardo). Okay, alright, Vicky is actually an American character, but as we already established before, TENTACLES is technically an Italian movie, and therefore Vicky is played by the hot Italian babe Delia Boccardo. Got that? Good.
So, like I was saying... Solana Beach plus Marauding Giant Octopus equals Cancel Your Summer Plans, Assholes. I don't have to tell you folks that Mayor Corey predictably pooh-poohs Sheriff Robards and Will's concerns. Nor do I have to share that Whitehead and his development agenda gets put way ahead of the safety of the Solana Beach residents and regatta participants. And it sure as fuck goes without saying that our lovely, lovely Delia Boccardo, er, Vicky gets put in serious danger when she decides to search for Judy and her two dumbass escorts, out at sea. Did I mention that Vicky and Judy are supposed to be sisters, too? Just play along, folks. It's an Italian horror film, after all.
Will Will (giggle) be able to stop the rampaging octopus? Will Mayor Corey and that jackass Whitehead continue to suppress his attempts to warn the public? What will happen if the regatta, uh, happens? Will the eight-armed psycho ocean creature make a buffet out of all the sailors? Or will Will (ha ha) talk some sense into the powers-that-be and shut the whole show down? Or is Solana Beach destined to becomes a major footnote in a future book on Oceanic Disasters? And why did an octopus, supposedly the most docile creature this side of a tranquilized Justin Bieber, go ape-shit in the first place?
Hopefully it's not because it found out that John Huston and Shelley Winters' trailers were bigger than his. Or is it? Hmmmmmmm....
BUT, SERIOUSLY: In our recent GIALLI SAMPLER, we discussed the popularity of Italian Gialli (colorful Italian murder mysteries) and how they influenced modern American thrillers and horror films. Another little-known branch of Italian cinema, though, is the "Italian Rip-Off Of An American Blockbuster." Italian studios were famous (or infamous) for this. For every American hit in the 60s, 70s, & 80s, there were likely a few Italian clones that followed, closely mimicking plot - but not necessarily quality. After THE EXORCIST, there were THE HOUSE OF EXORCISM and BEYOND THE DOOR 2. After THE OMEN, there were THE CHOSEN and THE VISITOR. And after JAWS, there was THE LAST SHARK and... TENTACLES.
As these cheesy Italian Rip-Offs go, TENTACLES isn't bad. It certainly is nowhere near as good as JAWS, not even close. But it gets a passing grade because of its competent technical aspects and the presence of some talented (and accomplished) folks in the cast. A friend of mine likes to joke that John Huston, Shelley Winters, and Peter Fonda must have really owed someone in the Italian film industry a huge favor for starring in this film. Either that or they were being blackmailed, he says. The truth is, the movie is not an embarrassment for any of them - and, in any case, their roles are actually fairly minimal, almost like window-dressing.
TENTACLES actually belongs to Bo Hopkins and his character of Will Gleason. The film acquits itself enough to score an average rating, largely due to Will's plot thread and his idea to use his pet Orcas to hunt down and kill the giant octopus. It plays out a lot less ridiculous than it sounds on paper, and packs a decent amount of suspense and tension. Italian actress Delia Boccardo is also a nice presence as Will's doomed wife, Vicky. I remember first watching TENTACLES as a kid and being crushed by (SPOILERS) Vicky's unexpected death. I was sure she was being positioned as the film's heroine. In any case, her abrupt disappearance from the action gives the movie some emotional resonance and gravity - and believably fuels Will's determination to destroy the octopus. I daresay Vicky's fate is akin to (SPOILERS) Rachel Dawes' (Maggie Gylenhaal) similarly out-of-left-field demise in THE DARK KNIGHT.
Ultimately, TENTACLES is nothing more than a passable Italian rip-off of JAWS that manages to rise above others of its kind because of some solid flourishes. Director Ovidio Assonitis helms it with assurance and makes his characters reasonably believable and likable. He also tweaks the formula here and there (the unexpected death of Vicky; the Orcas saving the day; some nice character interaction) to give it some freshness and appeal. Unlike THE LAST SHARK, which was such a blatant rip-off of JAWS (and a lousy one, at that) that Universal pictures actually took legal action against the producers. At least TENTACLES tries some ideas of its own.
