(Still wearing glasses…. Still wearing red speedos and blue tights… still smoking hot…)
CAST: Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey, Frank Langella, James Marsden, Parker Posey, Sam Huntington, Eva Marie Saint.
DIRECTOR: Bryan Singer
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and more damn good reasons to schtup a guy who wears red speedos and glasses (but not at the same time) straight ahead…
IT’S LIKE THIS: This flick (wisely) pretends SUPERMAN 3 and SUPERMAN 4 never happened - and picks up after the events of SUPERMAN 2. Our favorite Man In Tights and Speedos (Brandon Routh) returns from a five year sojourn to the Fortress of Solitude (or something) where he has gone to, I guess, meditate or some shit. Meanwhile, the world has pretty much gone to hell in a handbasket without him around to save the day. This prompts ex-flame Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) to pen a lacerating article on why we don’t need Superman, which wins her a Pultizer. WHAT? Anyhow, Superman’s return pretty much reawakens Lois’s feelings for him, as well as the bitter hatred of nemesis Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey), who is bald - and not in that hot Kasey Keller way. Trouble and drama ensue. Lots of it…
THE DUDE (OR DUDETTE) MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: Superman, because he has a lot of saving to make up for after being gone for five years. Vacation’s over, buddy.
EYE CANDY MOST LIKELY TO FIRE UP A WOODY: Brandon Routh as Superman/Clark Kent. Even hotter than Christopher Reeve, if that’s possible.
MOST INTENTIONALLY HAIR-RAISING SCENE: Lex‘s moll, Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey) trapped in a runaway car designed to distract Superman from a bank robbery happening across town. Seems Lexie failed to disclose to Kitty that the brakes were actually going to be broken. The cad…
MOST UNINTENTIONALLY HAIR-RAISING SCENE: No pun intended: the sight of all those toupees on Lex’s bureau. Makes me thankful to every god in the pantheon that baldness doesn’t run in my family (knock on wood). Premature graying? Well, that’s a different story….
HOTTEST SCENE: Superman and Lois‘ “dance“ in the sky. And they don’t even have their clothes off. Imagine that. And, also, the scene were the doctors rip off Superman’s costume to resuscitate him. Two words: Nice. Pecs.
INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: What does Lex Luthor want this time? What does that mysterious land mass off the Atlantic coast have to do with his plan? Will Superman be able to stop him? Will Lois and Superman ever reconcile? Will she forgive him for leaving mankind like he did? Or will she move on and forget about him? Will Superman continue to be able to pass unnoticed s Clark Kent? And - again - will Lois ever figure out that the smokin’ hot dude in glasses who works down the hall from her is actually Superman? Like I said. I knew - immediately.
WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH “SUPERMAN RETURNS”: If, as I do, you love the Superman mythos.
WHY YOU MAY NOT ENJOY “SUPERMAN RETURNS”: If you don’t like the Superman mythos. If so, get your ass outta here.
FINAL ANALYSIS: Ostensibly picking up where SUPERMAN 2 ended in 1980, SUPERMAN RETURNS aims to be more than just an easy re-boot. It tries to expand the image of Superman as more than just a super-being who continues to save the world from the forces of evil. This film seeks to explore his humanity, as well as the isolation that often comes with greatness. Both of this threads are explored in the subplot that deals with his possible fatherhood. Lois’ son may be his own, and this story thread is easily the best in the film. It could’ve been used a little more, but thankfully it wasn’t used less.
Brandon Routh is an arresting screen presence as Superman/Clark Kent, and it’s easy to see why he was chosen for this role. Just as Christopher Reeve was a relative unknown back in 1977 when he was cast a Superman/Clark Kent, Routh similarly modest acting background. But he more than makes the role his own. His best scenes are of the ones where Superman/Clark must grapple with his relationships with Lois and her son - his son. Kevin Spacey is also quite good as Lex Luthor, and makes the character amusing and witty without sacrificing his menace. He is a slight improvement over Gene Hackman from SUPERMAN 1 - and Hackman was pretty good in that.
The only flaw that SUPERMAN RETURNS has is Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane. As with Denise Richards and her nuclear physicist role in THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, Bosworth looks far too young to portray a worldly (and world-weary) journalist. Her line delivery is competent, but her mannerisms are of someone who is much younger than the role requires. She doesn’t quite gel with her male co-stars, which also includes James Marsden as her fiancee, Richard White. Bosworth tries her best, and has an enchanting beauty, but her youth is never quite masked by the tough, intense, and driven qualities that she tries to portray. By contrast, Katie Holmes as ADA Rachel Dawes in BATMAN BEGINS successfully convinced you that she was a tough, intense, and driven assistant district attorney. Bosworth, on the other hand, often comes across as a high school student playing dress-up. She’s not bad - just far too young (and not intense enough) for the role.
Indeed, the character of Lois Lane is supposed to be friendly, approachable, but yet also mysterious - so that when Richard says "No matter how much I love her, she'll always be a mystery to me" you're supposed to get it. Unfortunately, this is not the case with Bosworth in the role. In her hands, the character is just not mysterious at all. And, as a result, Richard's line makes no sense.
In the end, though, you have to give director Bryan Singer (X-MEN) major credit for going the earnest, soulful route with SUPERMAN RETURNS - and largely succeeding. Imagine if action director McG (CHARLIE’S ANGELS) and JJ Abrams (LOST, ALIAS, MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3) had succeeded in bringing their version called the smart-alecky-sounding SUPERMAN: FLYBY to the screens. I shudder to think how that would’ve turned out.
