(No. This movie is not about the Japanese fans of the band “Coldplay“….)
CAST: Ingrid Bolso Berdal, Viktoria Winge, Rolf Kristian Larsen, Tomas Alf Larsen, Endre Martin Mitstigen, Rune Melby.
DIRECTOR: Roar Uthaug
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some overrated Norwegian SCREAM hijinks - straight ahead…
IT’S LIKE THIS: Five Norwegian twentysomething snowboarders decide to hit the slopes for a weekend of serious shredding. Their destination: the isolated Jotunheim mountain range in the wilds of Norway. In descending order of brain power, they are: (1) Jannicke (Ingrid Bolso Berdal), girl most likely to survive because she is, well, first-billed; (2) Einik (Tomas Alf Larsen), Jannicke’s bitch-boy who is also most likely to sacrifice himself; (3) Morten (Rolf Kristian Larsen), dork who has a crush on Jannicke and is the one most likely to shit his pants out of fear; (4) Ingunn (Viktoria Winge), girl most likely to get killed first because, well, she walks around in her panties; and (5) Mikal (Endre Martin Mitstigen), dude most likely to battle the killer - and lose big time.
Anyhow, these five snow jocks’ party gets seriously cramped when Morten, the useless piece of shit, breaks his leg while flying down a mountainside. This forces the quintet to seek shelter in a nearby abandoned winter lodge for the night. If you think our fivesome pass the evening without incident and hike back to the safety of civilization the next day, then you, my friend, have either: (1) never seen a horror/slasher flick; or (2) are kidding yourself. Nope. Turns out the lodge harbors, ahem, a really savage killer who basically declares open season on our five trespassers. Oh, the weather outside is frightful - but it ain't nothing compared to the maniac inside..
THE DUDE (OR DUDETTE) MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: From the opening scenes, it becomes very clear that Jannicke has more testosterone in one ovary than Mikal, Einik, and Morten have in their three nutsacs combined. So… Jannicke wins this one...
EYE CANDY MOST LIKELY TO FIRE UP A WOODY: Tomas Alf Larsen is pretty smokin’. Ingrid Bolso Berdal is lucky to have snogged with him - even if it was just make-believe. Too bad the killer isn’t as enamored of him.
MOST INTENTIONALLY SCARY SCENE: The killer attacking and chasing Ingunn - while her four friends party-hearty not too far away. Hey, assholes, if you’d turn that fucking music down, you might hear your friend’s screams for help. Just a suggestion...
MOST UNINTENTIONALLY SCARY SCENE: Morten discussing his penis size as if it was some great gift to humanity. My bet is it’s really about the size of a baby carrot. Hard.
HOTTEST SCENE: Any scene with Tomas Alf Larsen in it. I kept waiting for a gratuitous hairy chest shot, but it never came. At least we get a hundred close-ups of that sexy-ass stubble.
INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: Who is the mysterious killer living in the winter lodge? And why is he offing anyone that comes too close to the place? Is he trying to protect a secret? Or does he just like killing dumbasses who should’ve stayed back in the city? Who will survive? Jannicke? Einik? Mikal? Morten? Ingunn? Or are they all going to join the ranks of all the other dumbass trespassers who disappeared before them? We can only hope…
WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH “COLD PREY”: If you want to see the usual “kids-terrorized-by-maniac-in-isolated location” scenario - but given a somewhat fresh setting and Norwegian spin.
WHY YOU MAY NOT ENJOY “COLD PREY”: If you are not into SCREAM and its myriad post-modern slasher clones. Even the foreign ones.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: With the smash success of SCREAM in 1996, the slasher genre roared back to life. Soon, more post-modern slashers were filling theaters: I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER, URBAN LEGEND, VALENTINE, I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER, URBAN LEGENDS, CHERRY FALLS, ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE, and the SCREAM sequels.
Soon, Europe was cashing in on the slasher craze that SCREAM revived. Titles like THE POOL (Germany), DEEP IN THE WOODS (France), and - last but not the least - COLD PREY (Norway), were joining the compendium. While DEEP IN THE WOODS is plain mediocre, THE POOL is actually an underrated entry. COLD PREY on the other hand, is a little overrated.
I remember reading glowing reviews and hearing acquaintances rave about this movie. They made it sound like it was the best slasher since HALLOWEEN and SCREAM. When I finally had a chance to view COLD PREY, I saw that the accolades were not entirely accurate. While COLD PREY is definitely streets ahead of your basic SCREAM clone, it is most definitely not the classic (or even semi-classic) people make it out to be. It is merely an above average and well-executed slasher film.
What COLD PREY does right is set the right tone and atmosphere in the first half of the film. Director Roar Uthaug is not afraid to let scenes unfold at their own pace. He stretches some to the point where tension is actually created by the delay. This is very reminiscent of another film set in a snowbound location: THE SHINING. Indeed, with its isolated hotel setting, COLD PREY seems to be attempting to evoke comparisons to that classic.
Uthaug also lets his actors create their characters at a somewhat leisurely and likable pace, allowing us to get on the same level as them. This is key for when the mayhem erupts and we have to root for their survival. It helps that the cast of Norwegian actors are very capable and engaging. The standouts are Ingrid Bolso Berdal as the heroine Jannicke and Tomas Alf Larsen as Einik, her brave and selfless boyfriend.
COLD PREY also has some very suspenseful setpieces: (1) Ingunn’s attack/chase sequence that has her almost make it; (2) the killer chasing Jannicke and the injured Morten through the hotel; and (3) Mikal tussling with the killer in the kitchen. These sequences are well-done and tightly-executed. Along with the atmosphere and solid cast, they are almost enough to have this soar past above average. Almost...
In the end, however, we have to face facts: as entertaining and capably-made COLD PREY is, it is only bandied about as a classic because of its Norwegian provenance. It doesn’t really add anything new to the genre except some very judicious use of atmosphere and a few suspenseful scenes. Give it an American cast of characters and setting (an American remake is rumored), and it would merely be an above-average slasher. And we have to rate it accordingly, despite its foreign pedigree.
