(Ah, yes, I think I‘m getting the Christmas Munchies…)
CAST: Kal Penn, John Cho, Neil Patrick Harris, Paola Garces, Danny Trejo, Bobby Lee.
DIRECTOR: Todd Strauss-Schulson
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some rather unorthodox - to say the fucking least - ways to spend Christmas Eve - straight ahead…
IT’S LIKE THIS: In the 2004 comedy classic HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE (review coming), we met our two lovable, ethnically-diverse, stoner heroes: uptight, ambitious Harold Lee (John Cho) and laid-back slacker Kumar Patel (Kal Penn). In that film, we watched Harold and Kumar embark on a hilariously crazy all-nighter trying to track down a White Castle restaurant after smoking up a bucket-load of dope. Apparently, those were some serious munchies - and no other food chain would suffice. Next, in the 2008 sequel HAROLD AND KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY we watched our heroes become the victims of some seriously fucked-up racial profiling while trying to leave the country to visit Amsterdam (hmmmmm… wonder why?), which basically ensured the only place they got to visit was an American jail cell. Now, in the third film in this highly-respected (ha ha) series, we reunite with Harold and Kumar a few years after the events of the last film.
Harold has - believe it or not - stopped smoking weed and it apparently has done wonders for him: (1) he is now a high-powered Wall Street exec; (2) he is married to the love of his life Maria (Paola Garces); and (3) he no longer hangs out with Kumar, who - believe it or not (irony alert) - is still smoking pot like a champ, and doesn’t look like he will ever quit. Without the shared activity of getting high to bond them, the two have understandably drifted apart. That is, until fate steps in one Christmas - and Harold and Kumar cross paths again when the latter is forced to deliver a giant joint (don’t ask) to the former’s house. On top of that, Harold accidentally sets fire to his fearsome father-in-law’s (Danny Trejo) beloved Christmas tree, which basically ensures his life will be a living hell from that point forward. That is, unless he can find another suitable tree to take its place. And guess who gets to ride shotgun during the frantic search for said tree? If you said anyone other than Kumar Patel, then you need to stop sucking on that bong and start sucking on something else. Well, you know what I mean. Then, just to make things even more fucked-up, they run into old pal Neil Patrick Harris (Neil Patrick Harris), who is more than just a handful. And I’m not just talking about the “crotch-grab” type of handful. Let the party begin…
THE DUDE (OR DUDETTE) MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: Harold and Kumar, all the way. With a very solid assist from Neil Patrick Harris as… Neil Patrick Harris.
EYE CANDY MOST LIKELY TO FIRE UP A WOODY: Our three heroes above are pretty fine. But I like NPH the best.
MOST INTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS SCENE: Toss up between Harold blasting Santa right the fuck out of the sky (yes, really), and Harold and Kumar setting (inadvertently) that Christmas tree on fire with a joint. Then there’s the baby stoned out of her gourd on dope and coke. Yes, sir. Good times.
MOST UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS SCENE: Uh, well, I guess they’re all intentionally hilarious…
HOTTEST SCENE: Neil Patrick Harris about to cum on some chick’s back during a faux-massage encounter. There’s just something strangely hot about a gay guy playing himself as gay-but-really-straight in a movie, about to unload his man-cream all over his fag hag’s back. Yes. I own property in the gutter. Won’t you join me? It’ll be fun.
INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: So… will the former best buds succeed in tracking down a decent Christmas tree to replace the one they accidentally torched? Will they bond because of the experience and become stoner best buds again? Or will Harold continue to say “no” to the dope? Or will he - gasp! - even get Kumar to - omigod - quit? And what happens when Harold accidentally shoots Santa? Did he just kill Christmas? And what about Neil Patrick Harris? How will NPH stir the pot? Will his usual horny antics get them all into hot water again? And does he really mean it when he says he’s truly not gay, but just pretending to be, to get some mad pussy? Or does he just need to watch Chris Evans’ nude scenes in WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER to worship cock again? I’m thinking, yes. Who could say “no” to this:
I know I didn’t. Ahem.
WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH “A VERY 3-D HAROLD AND KUMAR CHRISTMAS”: If you liked the first two movies, and don’t mind some seriously raunchy and unapologetically politically-incorrect humor. And if you adore Kal Penn, John Cho, and Neil Patrick Harris. And if you want to see what a stoned toddler with the munchies and face full of cocaine looks like. It looks like this:
WHY YOU MAY NOT ENJOY “A VERY 3-D HAROLD AND KUMAR CHRISTMAS”: If you offend easily and don‘t have a really fucked-up sense of humor. In which case, this film may actually kill you. Seriously. It will actually kill you.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: With the release of the sleeper hit HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE in 2004, two iconic characters were born. As played by John Cho and Kal Penn, Harold Lee and Kumar Patel are surely two of the most memorable and distinctive comedy leads to come down the pipe in a long time. While they are really cut from similar cloth as Bill and Ted from the BILL AND TED films, it’s Harold and Kumar’s ethnic backgrounds that make them stand out and create unexpected comic gold. Somehow, I don’t think they would be quite as funny if they were portrayed by two Caucasian actors. Some may have a problem with the racial profiling and humor in these film, but being of mixed-ethnicity myself, I could sometimes relate to some of the prejudice that these two run into. In end, everyone is in on the joke, so what is there to be offended about?
HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE, and its effective sequel HAROLD AND KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANAMO BAY, were both successful and popular enough to warrant a third film - and this time, the producers strike out in a completely different direction - they’ve created a Holiday flick, and struck more comic gold. What better way is there to take the air out of Christmas than by foisting Harold Lee and Kumar Patel on it? And as if that wasn’t enough, they turned it into a 3-D movie.
While A VERY 3-D HAROLD AND KUMAR CHRISTMAS is indeed funny, it’s just a tad below the original and the sequel in the yuks and gags department. That’s definitely not to condemn the film, though. It’s quite hilarious and is filled with some great set pieces, to include the aforementioned “shooting Santa out of the sky” bit, and the “burning down the christmas tree” number. Then there’s the deeply priceless running gag about the baby who is continuously exposed to marijuana smoke and cocaine dust. It’s all so very, very wrong - but so utterly fun at the same time.
As usual, Kal Penn and John Cho prove again to be a dynamite comedic duo. They have golden chemistry and strike sparks (platonic) with one another. Harold and Kumar are right up there with other comedic “Odd Couple” greats. But Penn and Cho are more than just talented comedians - as with the previous two films, the script gives the characters enough seriousness for these two to flex some of their more dramatic skills. Cho, in particular, has a nice intensity that serves both the comedy and the more serious stuff. Penn, on the other hand, has gotten very adept at wielding his character’s goofball quotient like a weapon. Bottom line: these two deserve another movie - and then another. And then yet another.
If Penn and Cho weren’t as charismatic and effective as they are, the show would’ve easily been stolen from them by Neil Patrick Harris playing himself again as what looks like a cross between Charlie Sheen and a male porn star. Harris had not come out of the closet when he made his smashing cameo in the first film. Between then and now, though, he did - and everyone now knows he’s gay, but that doesn’t detract at all from his performance. There’s even a nice joke in the movie about him just pretending to be gay to get laid, that he pretty much sells - before you realize he‘s just making fun of himself. Just as his recurring role as a marauding heterosexual playboy in the TV series “How I Met Your Mother”, Harris successfully convinces you of his character’s “straightness.” And he’s got a brilliantly raunchy and dry delivery, with impeccable comic timing, to boot.
Danny Trejo, Paola Garces, and Bobby Lee are fun in their small supporting roles, with Lee faring the best as Harold’s dorky puppy-dog of a loyal assistant. And Trejo brings his usual quite menace and gravity to the role of Harold’s scary father-in-law, but this time it is played for laughs. Garces, is as usual, a lovely sight.
All in all, A VERY 3-D HAROLD AND KUMAR CHRISTMAS is good enough to stand next to the first two movies, but not enough to overtake them. The 3-D aspect is actually superfluous and is merely a novel, rather than necessary, touch. In the end, the jokes and the three dudes making them are what sell this movie. Go, guys!
