(All in all, not the greatest dive…)
CAST: Blanchard Ryan, Daniel Travis, Seth Stein, Christine Zennaro.
DIRECTOR: Chris Kentis.
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and unfortunate diver decisions straight ahead…
Our last review was FROZEN (review # 179), which revolved around three snowboarders who unwittingly end up trapped on a ski-lift after the resort closes. They have to contend with rapidly-dropping temperatures, frostbite, ravenous wolves below, and each other - as it becomes increasingly clear that they’re going to have make some hard choices to survive.
To my knowledge, FROZEN is not based on true events. Our latest review, which is basically FROZEN set on the open ocean, supposedly is. The film is OPEN WATER, and it tells the tale of two divers in the Bahamas who are left behind by their dive boat - and have to contend with rapidly-dropping temperatures, hypothermia, ravenous sharks below, and each other - as it becomes increasingly clear they’re going to have to make some hard choices to survive.
OPEN WATER seems to be based on the real-life disappearances of Tom and Eileen Lonergan, an American couple who, on January 25, 1998, were left behind by their dive boat on Australia’s Great Barrier Reef. On January 27, 1998, their dive bags were discovered on the boat, prompting a massive sea-and-air search that yielded no results. The Lonergans were never found. I wrote “seems to be based on” because I don’t recall the makers of OPEN WATER stating what true events their film is based on. In any case, I’m sure the Lonergans - bless their souls - were a lot more likable than the two twits in this movie.
OPEN WATER revolves around harried yuppies Susan and Daniel (Blanchard Ryan and Daniel Travis). We first glimpse them as they try to leave their house and catch a flight to the Bahamas for what is to be a scuba diving vacation. Unfortunately, work intrudes and Susan gets stuck on a call while Daniel seethes quietly in their driveway. This is our first sign that there are cracks in this golden couple’s relationship. Finally, she hangs up and they’re off. And not a moment too soon, or Daniel would have probably ground his molars to a fine dust.
Upon arriving in the Bahamas, our troubled couple does the usual troubled couple things: (1) eating silently at restaurants while ignoring each other and staring off into space and dreaming of the scuba instructor they could be banging; (2) horsing around on the tourist strip and sticking their heads in the maws of fake sharks (how prescient, Daniel); and (3) trying - and failing - to have sex in their hotel room. Needless to say, the color of the water outside their balcony isn’t the only thing blue in Daniel’s world.
The next day, our heroes are up early and out on a dive boat headed for an open ocean reef along with a whole herd of other divers. Susan and Daniel keep to themselves in that way of some experienced, privileged divers leery of mingling with novices and budget travelers. The result? No one remembers them. Which makes it easier to forget them later when it’s time to raise anchor. It doesn’t help that one of the crewmember screws up the headcount because of an idiot (Seth Stein) who forgets his mask and another idiot who dives twice and gets counted twice.
Then, to seal their fates, Daniel and Susan do not surface on time. Instead, they push their luck in that way of some experienced, privileged divers who think the rules only apply to the novices and budget travelers. So, while our two intrepid rebels are busy manhandling an eel forty feet below, all the other divers have returned to the boat and, due to the headcount screw up mentioned earlier, the crew raises anchor and zooms back to shore for mojitos and baby oil rubdown/lapdances.
It doesn’t come as the biggest surprise of the Western World that Susan and Daniel surface to discover that - shocker - the boat is gone. Hours go by as they wait for the boat to come back for them. It gradually becomes clear that there’s a greater chance of a dolphin successfully mating with hermit crab before that happens. Soon, each is blaming the other for everything under the sun, including chalazions, overpriced wine, Nicholas Cage movies, people who fart in elevators, and Kanye West. Somewhere in there, they also hold the other accountable for getting them left behind by the dive boat.
Will Daniel and Susan be rescued? Will someone on the boat find their dive bags before it’s too late? Will the sharks find them first? Or will Daniel and Susan’s incessant bickering scare them off, too? What happens when Daniel and Susan start to get dehydrated? Will they start to hallucinate and think they’re still in their hotel room, still getting ready to meet the dive boat? Will they avoid their fates? Or will reality come crashing back in the form of a posse of rampaging reef sharks?
Like I said before, I’m sure the Lonergans were sweet people in comparison to these two. I was more concerned for Susan and Daniel’s dive equipment getting mauled by the sharks.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: One necessary element of a good Wilderness Survival Flick is a desperate effort for the characters to survive. In other words, these movies are essentially battles between the forces of nature vs. the human spirit. The more viable the threat is, and the more the characters fight to surmount it, the better the film is. Think of how the characters of RITUALS, FROZEN, THE DESCENT, and - especially - 127 HOURS fought to stay alive. When they succeeded (or failed), we celebrated (or mourned) along with them. Sadly, in this regard, OPEN WATER barely makes the cut as a Wilderness Survival Flick.
While the threat in OPEN WATER is very daunting (isolation, hypothermia, shark attack), the characters mostly just scream at each other and blame one another for their predicament. They don’t take any real steps to try to escape their situation. It’s just an hour and a half of drifting, and bickering, and crying, and screaming. It gets quite tedious at a point.
My heart goes out to Tom and Eileen Lonergan, and I feel deeply for their families. Which is why I kind of question the need to have this film remind the families of their loss. However, I could forgive that somewhat - if the film was actually decent and somehow of value. But after that intriguing set-up and some initial tension, it rapidly goes nowhere, becomes repetitive, and drifts along like its irritating characters until a spectacularly stupid ending. I’m sure that the makers thought it would be chilling and unforgettable, but it's just limp and ludicrous.
It doesn’t help that actors Blanchard Ryan and Daniel Travis fail to convince us with their performances. Some of their “arguments” are just painful to listen to because of how unconvincingly they’re performed. To be fair, this might be the fault of the script as well. In either case, what we have is a bad combo of mediocre acting and mediocre script.
Bottom line: OPEN WATER is one of the weaker Wilderness Survival Flicks out there, owing to the fact that the characters in it are just passive participants in their fate - instead of urgent warriors against it. Which is the mark of any survivor. The added fact that this movie is “based on true events” that must be painful for the families of the lost Lonergans to watch, leaves even more a sour taste.
Of course, it’s never stated outright that OPEN WATER is based on the Lonergans' disappearances. But how many “true events” of this nature are out there?
Either way, skip it and see INTO THE BLUE, instead...
