(These chicks give “chesting it” a whole new meaning…)
CAST: Parminder Nagra, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Juliette Stevenson, Anupam Kher, Frank Harper, Shaheen Khan, Ameet Chana.
DIRECTOR: Gurinder Chadha
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and estrogen-fueled soccer (excuse me, football) antics straight ahead
They say that the true origins of the sport of soccer (or football) can be traced to ancient China, 200 years before the birth of Christ, when Chinese players would kick a ball into goals made of bamboo and netting. This game was referred to as tsu chu. Tsu means “Kick” and Chu means “Ball.” You folks do the math.
Britain and Italy, however, also have laid claim on title of “Country From Which Modern Football (AKA Soccer) Originated From.”
Italians claim that the 16th century sport called calcio which originated in Florence is the true ancestor of modern football. This game was played in the Piazza Della Croce and Piazza Santa Maria Di Novella, and an annual re-enactment is still held to this day in modern Florence.
Britain, however, has a tradition of football stemming back to the 3rd century, when matches called Shove Tuesday were held. A much more brutal version than the football that we know now, Shove Tuesday football really lived up to its name and had virtually no rules. In fact, it was also known by its more fitting moniker: “Mob Football.” Mob Football became so problematic that even the monarchy tried to put a stop to it. King Edward II enacted the Act of 1314 which stated that anyone caught playing football in London would be imprisoned. This Act was confirmed by future Kings like Edward III, Richard II, and Henry IV, seeing the sport somehow as a threat to national defense. Evidently, the Kings’ archers were so preoccupied with playing football than their archery practice. Ooops.
All the above about football’s troubled genesis in the British isles is very interesting, because anyone who knows anything about modern-day UK knows how much that nation loves football now. So much so that it’s hard to imagine a time when it was actually against the law. Yet, it was. Which makes our latest review all the more poignant since it revolves around a modern-day Londoner who has to fight for the right to play soccer like it’s the 14th century all over again. The reason for this anachronism?
She’s a woman.
Our heroine is football-loving Jesminder “Jes” Bhamra (Parminder Nagra), and the movie that revolves around her is BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM. Jes is from an orthodox Sikh/Punjabi family that is very traditional, to say the least. By “very traditional,” I mean the following: (1) Mom (Shaheen Khan) thinks the best thing she can teach Jes is how to cook full Punjabi dinner - meat and vegetarian; (2) big sis Pinky (Archie Panjabi) is about to get married and thinks this is the best thing that she will ever do in her lifetime; (3) Dad (Anupam Kher) advises Jes that she needs to give up playing football with the boys and start behaving like a proper lady; (4) and Mom agrees with him, telling Jes that all that playing under the sun has made Jes “too dark.”
What? Hasn’t this woman heard that a billion-dollar industry called the Sunless Tanning Empire was founded under the motto of “You Can’t Be Dark Enough…”?
Anyhow, just when it looks like Jes just might throw the towel and listen to her family’s allegedly-sage advice, she meets the lovely and willowy Juliet Paxton (Keira Knightley). Juliet informs Jes of the following: (1) she’ll die of boredom if she keeps playing with the boys in the park; (2) she’s got a lot of natural talent for the game; and (3) she should be playing for the local girl’s team.
For her part, Jes is flabbergasted that there is such a thing as a girl’s team in London. It’s like being told that all this time your neighbor has been Madonna and you never knew it. Overjoyed, she takes Juliet up on the latter’s offer to check out the team. This leads to Jes meeting Joe (Jonathan Rhys-Meyers), the head coach who used to be a player himself until a busted knee sent him into the coaching realm. Handsome, athletic, and just a tiny bit of an asshole, Joe runs a tight ship and makes that clear to Jes. With this not-exactly-warm welcome, our heroine joins the team of all-girl footballers.
Juliet has got issues of her own at home. Specifically, a mother (Juliet Stevenson) who isn’t any happier than Mrs. Bhamra about her daughter’s involvement in football. Juliet’s Pops (Frank Harper) is, as he puts it, “over the moon” that she is more interested in football than fellas. Juliet’s Mom, on the other hand, thinks this is a disturbing symptom of a disease that might as well be cancer to her - lesbianism. Not surprising, coming from a woman who wears prissy hats to a football game. She probably even farts delicately - if she even farts at all.
Anyhow, Jes and Juliet’s combined talent help elevate the Hounslow Harriers' profile. And Joe couldn’t be more proud of his leading ladies. The fact that they are also as hot as Parminder Nagra and Keira Knightley is just one delicious side bonus. All in all, life is gooooooooooood for our trio of footballers.
But is everything going to be fine? What happens when Mom and Dad find out that Jes has not only defied their order to stop playing football, but has now joined a girls’ team? Will they ground Jes forever? And what happens when Jes finds herself falling for Joe? Will it endanger her friendship with Juliet, who is mad about him, too? And why is Joe giving Jes major googly eyes? Does he even have a shot at a romance with Jes? Will Jes give up football for a traditional life like her sister? Or will she fight the odds and become the female equivalent of David Beckham? And is Jes’s Dad really that against her playing? Or will he allow her to take that athletic scholarship in California - and play professionally?
Sally forth and find out. All I’ll say is that if King Edward II would have known that football would eventually create such mother-daughter conflicts, he probably would have tried harder to stamp out the sport. Thank goodness he didn’t…
BUT, SERIOUSLY: In our review for MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING (review # 127), I wrote that it was like a cinematic equivalent of a warm blanket that celebrates family and friendship. The same can be said for our latest review, BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM. While both films may appear to be superficially dissimilar to one another, they actually share a lot of common traits: (1) a heroine trying to forge an identity for herself; (2) an ethnic family that wants her to think within the box and color within the lines; and (3) an outside factor that beckons her to take that big leap of faith - and risk everything for true happiness.
In MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING, Toula Portokalos (Nia Vardalos) struggled to forge a relationship with non-Greek Ian Miller (John Corbett). In BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM, Jes Bhamra is attempting something even more controversial: pursuing her passion for a male-dominated sport. Which would be challenging enough without her traditional Sikh family in the picture. In comparison, Jes’s journey is a more treacherous one than Toula’s. Whereas Toula’s outside factor was Ian, Jes’s is the desire to make a name for herself in a sport that even non-traditional folks don’t normally associate with women: football (AKA soccer).
With such a timeless hook as this, and the fresh addition of the Sikh/Punjabi culture, it would’ve been hard to screw up this film. Sure enough, director Gurinder Chadha’s assured hand and her talented cast’s confident performances send the film into the stratosphere with a heady combo of effervescence, adrenalin, and unexpected tenderness. The contrast between the rigid, old-fashioned lives of Jes’s family, and the gritty, edgy arena of female footballers is a striking one. Chadha and her performers bring both of these worlds to vibrant and colorful life.
Parminder Nagra is a real find as Jes. She’s a refreshingly focused heroine who wins our sympathies with very few words, and the conflicts that she faces are ones that we can all relate to: follow what other people want for us, or follow our own hearts? The right choice changes from person to person, and choosing correctly is often the hardest decision to ever make. Nagra beautifully plays all of Jes’s confusion, passion, selflessness, and -eventually - conviction that football is her first love in life. It doesn’t hurt that Nagra has one of the most lovely and expressive faces I’ve ever seen. With the smallest facial gestures, we see right into her heart.
Keira Knightley is similarly impressive. Her Juliet is conceived a tomboyish firecracker whose confidence and athletic skill almost mask the fact that she is as vulnerable as any other teenage girl when it comes to the first stirrings of love. The sort-of triangle between her, Jes, and Joe opens up hidden layers in the character that might have gone unexplored. Knightley’s coolly perfect beauty is also an interesting contrast to the rough-and-rowdy personality she’s asked to essay. It also helps immensely that Knightley and Nagra have a warm, sisterly vibe that instantly sells Jes and Juliet’s friendship.
As Joe, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers has a similarly multi-faceted role. Initially, Joe comes off as just a tad chilly and standoffish. But we realize this hard-ass quality is just his own way of being passionate for football. He drives his team relentlessly because, ironically, he loves them and wants to see them succeed where he failed because of his injured knee. Meyers also convincingly plays Joe’s sensitive and tender side, making it completely understandable why both Jes and Juliet would fall for him. Joe has the same quality that Nagra has of expressing so much by saying very little. Watch his eyes in each scene - they seem to be speaking a silent language that few can hear.
As for the rest of the cast, Frank Harper and Juliet Stevenson are drolly amusing as Juliet’s half-supporting/half-disapproving parents. Stevenson, in particular, nails some good laughs as the prissy English Rose mum who (mistakenly) thinks her daughter just might be a lesbian. Archie Panjabi is her usual awesome self as Jes’s older, more traditional sister Pinky. Panjabi is rapidly shaping up to be a formidable talent in both the U.S. and U.K. To see her in another terrific performance, watch A GOOD YEAR with Russell Crowe, where she plays his character’s super-cool personal assistant. Archie Panjabi is one performer to keep an eye on.
Anupam Kehr and Shaheen Khan are also quite good as Jes’s terminally traditional parents. While Khan is perfect as the old-fashioned mother who is terrified of her daughter being taken away from them by the modern world, Kehr delivers a more a nuanced role. His character is actually someone who, while also reserved and old-fashioned, doesn’t actually fear change. But he also doesn’t want his daughter to get hurt and rejected the way he was by his English counterparts when he tried to play cricket as a young man. The scene in which he finally realizes he can’t hold his daughter back because of his own fears - and tells his entire family this - is easily the film’s best and most touching scene. With the most wonderful dialogue:
MR. BHAMRA: When those bloody English cricket players threw me out of their club like a dog, I never complained. On the contrary, I vowed I would never play again. But who suffered? Me. I don’t want Jesy to suffer. I don’t want her to make the same mistakes her father made of just accepting life. Accepting situations. I want her to fight. And I want her to win. Because I’ve seen her play. And she’s brilliant. And I don’t think anyone has the right to stop that.
And BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM is similarly brilliant. It delivers a serious message with the lightest touch, and in doing so delivers it all the more effectively and memorably. Anyone who’s ever had to fight for their passion and vision will love this film. And who among us has not had to do that, at one time or another, in one way or the other?
