(And those honky-tonk crackaz thought the Indians were a headache…)
CAST: Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde, Sam Rockwell, Adam Beach, Paul Dano, Keith Carradine, Clayton Brown, Abigail Spencer, Ana De La Reguera.
DIRECTOR: Jon Favreau
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and a some utterly unforeseen adversaries out of left field - straight ahead…
IT’S LIKE THIS: In a hilarious twist sure to have Pocahontas and her homeys laughing their asses off around a campfire somewhere, the cowpoke citizens of a small desert town in 1873 Arizona find themselves contending with a foe even more formidable than a bunch of Native Americans wielding bows and arrows: space men from (duh) outer space, who have a bunch of really fast spaceships and really sharp lasers. And these freaks like to yank the townspeople up into their ships with high-tech lassos or some crap in a sort of Western take on alien abduction. In other words: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
Embroiled in this unlikeliest of brouhahas are the following peeps: (1) Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig), brooding criminal who wakes up in the middle of the desert with an “alien bracelet” inexplicably attached to him; (2) Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford), more-than-meets-the-eye land baron who roars like a lion but is really a pussy cat inside; (3) Ella Swenson (Olivia Wilde), mucho caliente barmaid who seems to know more than she is telling; (3) Doc (Sam Rockwell), town doctor (duh) who is so earnest and decent you just want to tie him to a bed and corrupt him (or is it just me?); (4) Percy Dolarhyde (Paul Dano), Woodrow’s prick son who thinks the fact he’s the kid of the richest dude this side of Tijuana gives him the right to act a colossal fool in public; (5) Sheriff Taggart (Keith Carradine), town lawman who’s ill-prepared (to say the fucking least) against this new kind of enemy; (6) Nat Colorado (Adam Beach), Woodrow’s flunky who is also a Native American (did you see that one coming?); and (7) Emmett Taggart (Noah Ringer), Sheriff Taggart’s son whom Woodrow mentors.
There are tons and tons more townfolk who get pulled into the fray, but the above seven are the main ones to track. Anyhow, Jake and Woodrow have no choice but to team up and track down all the aliens to their hiding place in the desert, before all the townspeople who got abducted get the Eric Cartman treatment. Two words: Anal. Probe. (Ouch)
THE DUDE (OR DUDETTE) MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: Jake and Woodrow - with a nice, last-minute pass/assist from Ella that leads to a climactic GOAL!
EYE CANDY MOST LIKELY TO FIRE UP A WOODY: We’ve talked about the Harrison Ford Conundrum before. And Olivia Wilde is fairly nuclear. But this award goes to James Bond. And, yes, I know these aren’t pictures from the movie. Indulge me…
MOST INTENTIONALLY DYNAMIC SCENE: Jake waking up at the beginning of the movie with that mysterious alien bracelet. Then having to fight off five jackasses with his bare hands. James Bond much, Jake?
MOST UNINTENTIONALLY DYNAMIC SCENE: Woodrow showing his gentle side and sharing some wisdom with Emmett around the campfire. Awwwwwwwww….
HOTTEST SCENE: Ella “waking up” around the campfire and basically flashing everyone…
INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: So what the fuck is going on here? Why do the aliens want to start their invasion with the easiest target in the world? Shouldn’t they, you know, go for New York or San Francisco or Boston first? Are these the dumbest aliens in the Universe or something? If so, will Jake, Woodrow, Ella, and co. trounce them? Or do the aliens have some sort of “wild card” up their sleeve? If so, what is it? For that matter, do the humans have their own “wild card”? And what secret powers does this person have? Who will win this thoroughly mismatched confrontation? The cowboys? The indians? Or the Freakazoids From The Crab Nebula? Place your bets…
WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH “COWBOYS AND ALIENS”: If you are intrigued by the novel and fairly fresh idea of cowboys squaring off against creatures from outer space. And if you like Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde, or director Jon Favreau.
WHY YOU MAY NOT ENJOY “COWBOYS AND ALIENS”: If you think the premise of cowboys squaring off against creatures from outer space to be fairly ridiculous. If so, go elsewhere…
BUT, SERIOUSLY: When I first heard that IRON MAN director Jon Favreau’s next project was going to be about an unlikely battle between cowboys and aliens called… COWBOYS AND ALIENS… my first reaction was that it was a brilliant idea for a comedy - especially one starring Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford, who are both known for more serious roles. It wasn’t until the trailers came out close to its release last summer that I finally realized COWBOYS AND ALIENS was actually going to be a serious action/sci-fi/thriller - and not the wacky comedy I originally though it would be. Imagine my surprise. It was at that point that I started to wonder if the movie would be any good. After all, how seriously can you take a premise that wild? When we saw it in the theatres upon its release, we found exactly how.
Put simply, Favreau and his pack have lived up to the promise of the preview: COWBOYS AND ALIENS plays like a straight-forward action/sci-fi/thriller - just one that involves cowboys duking it out with aliens. The good news is it pretty much succeeds, and doesn’t become the ridiculous train wreck I feared it would be if it wasn’t played as a comedy. This is due mainly to the potent talent of Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, and raft of solid supporting players led by Olivia Wilde, Sam Rockwell, and Adam Beach. Had lesser talented folks been cast in their roles, it might’ve been a different - and more grim - story.
Daniel Craig is ideal to play the brooding anti-hero Jake Lonergan, whose loyalties we are not entirely sure of until we’re well into the movie. As with his star-making role of James Bond in CASINO ROYALE and QUANTUM OF SOLACE, Craig brings the right mix of sexy ambiguity and ruthless intensity to his character that keep us on our toes for most of the movie. Harrison Ford is a compatible foil for Craig as the equally-complex land baron Woodrow Dolarhyde who is not as terrible as everyone makes him out to be. Ford expertly reveals the hidden levels of kindness and decency under this man’s fearsome façade. The best scene in the entire film is one wherein Woodrow, whose own son has been taken by the aliens, both comforts and chastises Emmett (Noah Ringer), the young son of the abducted Sheriff. It’s a great “Tough Love” scene that Ford and Ringer play wonderfully - and helps give COWBOYS AND ALIENS some unexpected depth along with the rest of their storyline.
Olivia Wilde is good as the mysterious Elle - who has secrets of her own that gradually reveal themselves at the story goes on. So is Sam Rockwell as the good-hearted town doctor who gets caught up like everyone else. Paul Dano also gives a nuanced turn as Woodrow’s volatile son, revealing the frightened boy under the manly bluster. And then there's Adam Beach as Woodrow’s loyal Indian sidekick Nat Colorado - whom Woodrow may love more than his own son. They are the standouts of the supporting cast, which also includes Clayton Brown, Keith Carradine, and Buck Taylor in solid turns.
Ultimately, I still think that COWBOYS AND ALIENS could’ve used a lighter touch and more humor. As it is, though, it is an entertaining ride that takes an unconventional premise and thrills us with it, while also hitting some unexpectedly serious notes. All in all, a good film.
