(Brain is fried… too much Chris Evans near-full frontal nudity…. Brain is fried… too much Chris Evans chest hair and buttock sightings… call paramedics… think I‘m dying of ecstacy here…)
CAST: Anna Faris, Chris Evans, Ari Graynor, Blythe Danner, Ed Begler Jr., Dave Annable, Andy Samberg, Martin Freeman, Anthony Mackie.
DIRECTOR: Mark Mylod
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and Chris Evans Nudity overload - straight ahead... pray for my soul...
IT’S LIKE THIS: Boston career gal Ally Darling (Anna Faris) is busy with her sister’s (Ari Graynor) wedding prep, when her life is suddenly turned upside down by two things: (1) she is canned from her magazine job because of budget cuts, and (2) she reads an article in said magazine which states that women who have slept with more than 20 men are not likely to ever get married. Given that Ally has already fucked 19 guys in her life and still sees no marriage proposal on the horizon, she takes this news with the same calm that she would after being told an asteroid is going to slam into Boston in ten minutes. In other words, she fairly freaks out. And, apparently, when one freaks out, one also tends to gets hare-brained ideas. Seriously hare-brained ideas…. Such as not sleeping with another guy, lest she hit the 20 mark and be condemned to a life of unwedded bliss. And tracking down all of her 19 exes to see if one of them was the “one who got away.” Aiding her (very reluctantly, trust me) in this stupid endeavor is uber-hottie poonhound Colin Shea (Chris Evans), who finds Ally’s project both fascinating and laughable at the same time. Clearly, he know this shit will not end well and just wants front-row seats for the ensuing train wreck. Can’t say I blame him. Let the show begin…
THE DUDE (OR DUDETTE) MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: Colin, who’s the closest thing to a voice-of-reason this flick has. He’s like a Reality Check Buzzer on Ally’s shoulder. A really, really, really sexy Reality Check Buzzer. Believe me - she needs it.
EYE CANDY MOST LIKELY TO FIRE UP A WOODY: Chris Evans. Chris Evans. Chris Evans. Chris Evans. They might as well have called this movie CHRIS EVANS’ SMOKIN’ HOT NAKED BODY.
MOST INTENTIONALLY EXCITING SCENE: Colin standing butt-nekkid in his hallway with only a tiny dish-towel to cover Colin Jr. Colin lounging around with only tiny boxer briefs on to cover Colin Jr. Colin playing strip Basketball until he’s almost butt-nekkid. Colin ripping those boxer briefs off to go skinny-dipping. Yes, folks… I wasn’t kidding when I said this movie is all about Chris Evans’ body.
MOST UNINTENTIONALLY EXCITING SCENE: Colin standing butt-nekkid in his hallway with only a tiny dish-towel to cover Colin Jr. Colin lounging around with only tiny boxer briefs on to cover Colin Jr. Colin playing strip Basketball until he’s almost butt-nekkid. Colin ripping those boxer briefs off to go skinny-dipping. Yes, folks… I wasn’t kidding when I said this movie is all about Chris Evans’ body.
HOTTEST SCENE: Colin standing butt-nekkid in his hallway with only a tiny dish-towel to cover Colin Jr. Colin lounging around with only tiny boxer briefs on to cover Colin Jr. Colin playing strip Basketball until he’s almost butt-nekkid. Colin ripping those boxer briefs off to go skinny-dipping. Yes, folks… I wasn’t kidding when I said this movie is all about Chris Evans’ body.
INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: Will Ally be able to track down all of her 19 exes? Will she find her Prince Charming among them? Or is her Prince Charming actually Colin? Who cares. I just want to know if we’ll get a sequel where Chris Evans just spends two hours working out butt-nekkid with an equally-bare-assed Russell Crowe. Hell, I’ll produce and direct the damn thing.
WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH “WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER?”: If you don’t mind semi-cute romantic comedies that could be better. And if you like Anna Faris. And - last but not the least - if you would drink Chris Evans’ bathwater.
WHY YOU MAY NOT ENJOY “WHAT‘S YOUR NUMBER?”: If you want your romantic comedies to better than just a tad above average. And if, for some ungodly reason, you do not want to drink Chris Evans’ bathwater.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Based on the novel “20 Times A Lady”, WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER is an ideal vehicle for showcasing the winsome charms of Anna Faris and the sexy/goofy everyman smolder of Chris Evans. The idea of a girl thinking that she missed her “matrimonial” boat, and then going back through her past to re-evaluate her relationships has potential. I haven’t read the novel this movie is based on, but it must have some degree of popularity if it was adapted for the silver screen.
Unfortunately, WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER goes the light and easy route with this premise. I’m not expecting a seriously in-depth examination of Ally’s romantic history, but something a little deeper than what we get would’ve lent some gravity and resonance to the film. Indeed, it takes some time for us to buy into Ally’s burning need to track down her exes because of how loosey-goosey the set-up is handled. We don’t get much character development for Ally in the first and second act of the film. Same goes for Colin, who is portrayed as your basic marauding playboy with a killer smile for the longest time. And the movie doesn’t really explore their relationship as much as we’d like. Fortunately, these portions of the film are funny enough to keep us entertained.
But what makes WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER rise above the average is the unexpected emotional heft it suddenly gains in the third act. It’s as if the script finally realized it needed to look at Ally and Colin as complex humans much sooner - and shows us all the deeper layers to them. There’s a lovely scene at Ally’s sister’s wedding where the bride and groom exchange wedding vows that feel real and genuine. And watch for Ally’s reaction to the vows - it’s a heartfelt one. This scene feels like it belongs to a different film - the film that WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER could’ve been if it would’ve treated Ally’s journey a little more seriously.
From this point out, the film actually gets better and a tad more serious. Not too spoil anything, but WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER’s manages to end on just the right note. It would’ve been nice if director Mark Mylod had decided to show the deepening of Ally and Colin’s relationship much sooner, but I suppose its better late than never. Anna Faris and Chris Evans are also another reason this film rates above average. While their chemistry is more “brother/sister” or “friendly” instead of “hot” or “smoldering” as it should’ve been, they still make a pleasant and funny couple. Evans, in particular, shows again his talent at balancing swagger and sweetness. And the guy is very hilarious, to boot. I’d like to see him in more comedies and romances.
In the end, WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER? could’ve been better. By the same token, though, it could’ve been much worse. It’s salvaged by the charisma and talent of its stars.
