(You want to do WHAT?!?!?! WHERE?!?!)
CAST: Ewan McGregor, Emily Blunt, Amr Waked, Kristin Scott Thomas, Tom Mison, Rachael Stirling.
DIRECTOR: Lasse Halstrom
WARNING: Some SPOILERS one seriously quirky - if not downright asinine endeavor - straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: There are certain things in this universe that go hand-in-hand and are pretty much pre-ordained: Hawaii and scuba diving, Colorado and mountain biking, Capri and kayaking, tomatoes and mozzarella, peanut butter and strawberry jam, margherita pizza and red wine, movies and hilarious friends, Happy Hour and hilarious friends, soccer games and hilarious friends, road trips and hilarious friends. Basically, you can't imagine one without the other.
Then there are things that are mutually exclusive to the point of being an accepted universal fact. Such as: spandex and tubby folks, supermodels and all-you-can-eat buffets, beef bourguignon and Chardonnay, Seattle and SPF 90 sunblock, Mexico and ice skating, South Park and political correctness, and - last but in no way the least - salmon fishing in the Yemen.
Let's talk a bit about that last one, specifically salmon fishing. Folks, salmon fishing is a popular sport in the Pacific Northwest, Scotland, Northern Japan, and Scandinavia. What do these places have in common? Not much - just the fact that they are very far north... and usually fucking cold. Which is what our friendly salmon thrive on. Now let's talk about Yemen. Folks, Yemen is at the southern end of the Middle East, where there are a lot of sand dunes and intense heat and temperatures that are capable of poaching your testicles if you're not careful. Do I really have to do the math for you guys? Bottom line: fishing for salmon in Yemen is like trying to find a virgin at a porn star convention.
Yet, that is the subject of our next review, as evidenced by its title, SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN. Duh. Anyhow, our story gets kickstarted when a very wealthy Yemenese dude called Sheikh Muhammad (Amr Waked) decides he's got way too much cash in his coffers and decides to blow it all on... bringing the sport of fly-fishing to the Yemen. Yes, folks: instead of just throwing a massive house party complete with Vegas hookers and the entire Barnum Bailey circus, our dear Muhammad decides to bring a sport heretofore only native to chillier northern climes - to the scalding environs of the Yemen desert.
Assisting Muhammad in this utterly nutty endeavor is foxy Brit liaison Harriet (Emily Blunt). Harriet works for the investing firm that handles Muhammad's vast fortunes - and instead of guiding the poor sod towards backing an awesome water park/underwater hotel resort in Hawaii (which is what I would create if I was a bazillionaire), they indulge his crazy-ass dream of bringing his numero uno passion (fly fishing) to a place where, if you wanted to, you could throw away all the frying pans and grills and just use the sidewalk at high noon to prepare your eggs. I guess money does talk, don't it?
Anyhow, Harriet recruits the assistance of bewildered and cantankerous fisheries expert Dr. Alfred Jones (Ewan McGregor) in making Muhammad's vision come true. As you can imagine, Dr. Jones pretty much reacts to this situation the way you'd expect a repressed, fact-oriented sourpuss to react: he basically tells Harriet and Muhammad that they are goddamned loonies. Yes, Alfred - but one of those loonies happens to be a very rich, very powerful man. Which tends to not go unnoticed in the circles of power.
Sure enough, Muhammad's bizarre plan gets spread around and, before you know it, who should get wind of it but the hard-boiled, no-nonsense, terminally-sarcastic press officer of the Prime Minister. She is Patricia Maxwell (Kristin Scott Thomas), and she isn't so much a woman as she is a fearsome force of nature. As in: you try and stop her... I'm running for cover. This woman is hell with a Blackberry. And that is a compliment. I thought me and my friends had cornered the market in hilarious text message banter. We ain't got nothing on Patricia and her zingers. Patricia basically sees the "bring salmon to Yemen" scenario as a way to pump some goodwill back into Yemeni-British relations, especially in the wake of a recent scandal where some Brit diplomats got caught screwing some Yemeni chicks. Yawn.
Soon, Patricia is putting the pressure on Alfred to help Harriet and Muhammad make the ridiculous dream an even more ridiculous reality. But is it really possible? How in the fucking hell can you take a cold-water fish and drop it in a man-made river in the baking heat of the southern Middle East - and expect it not to turn into a poached dinner? Do Harriet and Muhammad have some secret strategy up their sleeves? What is it? And what happens when Alfred finds himself falling for Harriet? Will he change his mind about the project? Will he be inspired to make it come true? Or is this all pretty much the equivalent of trying to bring a chain of Outback Steakhouses to India?
Well, let's just say with someone like Patricia "Tornado" Maxwell working behind-the-scenes, anything can happen...
BUT, SERIOUSLY: When we first heard about SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN, we were immediately intrigued. After all, you can't get much more intriguing of a title than that. With Emily Blunt, Ewan McGregor, and Kristin Scott Thomas in key roles, the film looked very promising indeed. The trailers further supported this hope. So... is the film as good as first impressions suggest? The answer is... yes.
In past reviews, we've talked about how a talented cast, skilled director, and confident script can pretty much win over any audience. SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN is yet another example of a film that takes a ludicrous premise - then spins it into cinematic gold. Alfred Jones, the skeptical scientist played by Ewan McGregor with quirky precision, acts as the "portal" character that the audience uses to get into the story. We basically share his utter disbelief at the seemingly farfetched scheme he finds himself in. This role is crucial, because if it is fumbled, we can't get completely involved in the story. It doesn't come as a surprise that the talented MacGregor nails the character, capturing both his initially chilly distance, then his gradual thawing and opening his mind and heart to Harriet and Muhammad's plan.
Speaking of Harriet, she is played with a nice graciousness by Emily Blunt, who is pretty without being distracting. Harriet could've easily come across as harsh and brittle, but Blunt plays her with a laid-back, bemused quality. She has a nice way of quietly asserting her authority and opinion, which is an interesting contrast to Alfred Jones' more explosive style. Blunt and MacGregor also have a nice chemistry that changes throughout the film, while somehow staying the same, if that makes sense. In other words, the "simmer" between them is always there, whether they are talking business, fighting, making up, becoming friends, and finally realizing they've fallen for each other. I don't think I've ever seen McGregor play such a vulnerable character, which is surprising since Alfred starts off so closed-off and standoffish. Blunt has a nice humanizing effect on him, and he sparks well of her in return.
Amr Waked is just as relaxed and mellow as Blunt. It's crucial for us not to see Sheikh Muhammad as a bored billionaire trying to entertain himself with a costly (and potentially ridiculous) undertaking. Waked underscores Muhammad's graciousness and wisdom, especially when we become aware that his idea is ultimately intended to help his country men - and not a frivolous, self-serving notion.
The film's sharpest performance, however, comes from Kristin Scott Thomas as the sharp-tongued and sharper-minded press officer Patricia Maxwell. Scott Thomas once said that she loves playing "spiky" characters - and humanizing them. With Patricia Maxwell, she has one of her spikiest characters - but in a highly amusing way. Patricia has a crisp, no-nonsense air about her that is always tinged with acid humor. Some of the film's best lines come from her - and Scott Thomas delivers each of them perfectly. In essence, if you look at the four main characters, Harriet and Muhammad are the gentle souls who tame and seduce the more intense Alfred and Patricia to their side. This is one of my favorite movie casts this year.
In the end, SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN is a very atypical and quirky film that is sure to please fans of the offbeat and whimsical. It's a valentine to those with impossible dreams - and the courage to go after them and make them come true, despite the odds and naysayers. It won't please everyone. But those it does please won't forget it anytime soon.
