Hello, folks… just a quick post from the road (to sunny Cali) as part of our 50th Anniversary Celebration for the James Bond franchise. Half a century ago, the very first Bond adventure, DR. NO, was released and took the world by storm, since then we’ve had 22 other Bond flicks released to generally great success. The latest, SKYFALL, was released in Europe on Friday, October 26 – and hits American shores this Friday, November 9. I’ve already seen it, and it is AMAZING. Nothing like an opening weekend trip to London just to catch a screening to exhaust the shit out of you. Thank goodness for Vitamin C. But what better way to celebrate the release of SKYFALL than to list our TOP 10 Bond Films – which now includes SKYFALL, as well.
Without further ado, please find below the best 10 of the Bond films, counting down to # 1. With the inclusion of SKYFALL, the order has changed considerably.
off in the screenplay much, much sooner than in the book.
10. THUNDERBALL
YEAR OF RELEASE: 1965
DIRECTOR: Terence Young
SONG: “Thunderball” by Tom Jones
BOND PLAYED BY: Sean Connery
BADDIE: Emilio Largo (Adolfo Celi), evil agent for evil organization SPECTRE.
BOND GIRLS: Domino Derval (Claudine Auger), Largo’s girlfriend who is also the sister of a NATO major whom he killed while stealing some warheads (survives); Fiona Volpe (Luciana Paluzzi), redheaded assassin who can’t decide to whether to fuck Bond – or fuck him and then shoot him in the head. (dies).
BADDIE’S PLOT: Largo has stolen a couple of NATO warheads and wants to spread SPECTRE’s terror through the world by detonating the bombs off Nassau in the Bahamas. Will Bond and Domino stop him in time? What the fuck do you think?
WHY IT MAKES THE CUT: Most people rate GOLDFINGER higher than THUNDERBALL because it set the Bond Formula that would be used over and over again by the series. However, we disagree: THUNDERBALL takes the template set by GOLDFINGER and really runs with it. There’s also a meanness and grit to this movie that was missing from the more flippant and breezy GOLDFINGER – and Bond is at his sexiest when he is hardboiled and cocky. We also get much stronger Bond Girls in the form of the cat-like Domino and the relentless Fiona, who are more vivid and colorful than Jill, Tully, and Pussy from GOLDFINGER. Audiences must have agreed to a certain point because THUNDERBALL out-grossed GOLDFINGER at the box-office.
TRIVIA: Luciana Paluzzi originally auditioned for the role of the good girl, Domino. However, when she received a callback from the producers, it was to come in and read for the role of Fiona, the villainous henchwoman. Paluzzi was eventually cast as Fiona.
9. THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS
YEAR RELEASED: 1987
DIRECTOR: John Glen
SONG: “The Living Daylights” by A-ha.
BOND PLAYED BY: Timothy Dalton
BADDIE: General Brad Whitaker (Joe Don Baker) and General Georgi Koskov (Jeroen Krabbe), two of the goofiest clowns that have ever masqueraded as villains.
BOND GIRLS: Actually, make that “Bond Girl”. Singular. In response to the rise of AIDS in the mid-80’s, the Bond producers felt the need to make Bond a one-woman guy. And she is Kara Milovy (Maryam D’Abo), a sweet and naïve cellist who gets pulled into the Spy Game by Bond (survives). No worries, because Bond would return to fucking anything that moves in his next flick, LICENCE TO KILL. Aw, yea…
BADDIE’S PLOT: To set up the assassination of Russian mucky-muck General Pushkin by staging a fake defection by Koskov. Oh, and there’s the added shit about selling a lot of illegal opium on the black market. Whatever. Just give me another shot of Timmy D. in that tux, looking angry. Gets me horny every single time.
WHY IT MAKES THE CUT: Timothy Dalton’s debut as 007 was a nice return to form for the series. After silly entries like MOONRAKER and OCTOPUSSY during the Roger Moore years, THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS took us back to the lean, mean, more serious approach of the original Ian Fleming books. Dalton’s grittier take on the character was much more in line with the James Bond of the books. He also paved the way for Daniel Craig’s currently celebrated and popular interpretation of the role – which presents Bond as cocky, deadly, and unforgiving. Bond’s relationship with Kara also has nice innocence about it that is rarely seen elsewhere in the series. Unfortunately, the villains are fairly weak, which is why THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS drops slightly behind LICENCE TO KILL.
TRIVIA: Pierce Brosnan was all but set to step in as Bond after Roger Moore stepped down, but was waylaid by a last-minute renewal of his REMINGTON STEELE contract. Dalton took over at this point.
8. ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE
YEAR RELEASED: 1969
DIRECTED BY: Peter R. Hunt
SONG: “We Have All The Time In The World” by Louis Armstrong
BOND PLAYED BY: George Lazenby
BADDIE: Blofeld (Telly Savalas), Bond’s perennial arch-nemesis who really needs to get a wig or something.
BOND GIRL: Teresa “Tracy” Di Vicenzo (Diana Rigg), Italian heiress who is unlike any woman Bond has met before – let’s just say that she is a good/nice version of Elektra King. Which is what a friend calls me. Is that a compliment? I’ll take it. (Sadly, Tracy dies – sob) Oh, and there’s also a bunch of bimbos at the spa hotel which Bond infiltrates, who end up becoming Blofeld’s pawns in his world domination quest, but I can’t remember their names right now.
BADDIE’S PLOT: Blofeld wants to use the female visitors of his spa to carry a virus with them back to their countries, which will then infect all plants and animals, basically holding the world’s food supply as hostage. That’s pretty fucking scary for someone’s who’s always hungry like me.
WHY IT MAKES THE CUT: This film is one of the most atypical in the Bond series, primarily because Bond does the unthinkable in it: he gets married. The woman who captures his heart is Tracy DiVicenzo, who is one of the Best Bond Girls ever. With Diana Rigg’s mesmerizing performance as the brilliant, unpredictable, cocky but soulful Tracy, it’s not hard to see why Bond would fall for her. While George Lazenby is nowhere near as memorable as Sean Connery was, he is still okay and doesn’t embarrass himself. Just think of how much more dynamic this film would’ve been with Sean Connery (who stepped down after YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE) in the lead. The ending is also the most heartbreaking scene in the entire series.
TRIVIA: Sean Connery would return to the role of James Bond for DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1971) and the non-EON entry NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN (which is a remake of THUNDERBALL) in 1983.
7. LICENCE TO KILL
YEAR RELEASED: 1989
DIRECTOR: John Glen
SONG: “Licence To Kill” by Gladys Knight
BOND PLAYED BY: Timothy Dalton
BADDIE: Franz Sanchez (Robert Davi), smooth and sexy drug dealer who values loyalty more than money – and basically rips apart anyone who is disloyal to him. Watch out.
BOND GIRLS: Pam Bouvier (Carey Lowell), ex-army pilot and current CIA undercover informant against Sanchez – the only one still alive (survives); Lupe Lamora (Talisa Soto), Sanchez’s girlfriend who allies with Bond against him – bad move (survives, thankfully).
BADDIE’S PLOT: Well, not much, really. Just wants to keep flooding the world with drugs and making billions from it. Just another day’s work for Franzie boy…
WHY IT MAKES THE CUT: Many critics called THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS gritty and serious when it was released. However, in comparison to LICENCE TO KILL, it is downright breezy and flippant. LICENCE TO KILL is probably the meanest Bond film there is, and we love that. This film started the “this time it’s personal!” theme that would weave its way through future Bond films all the way up to SKYFALL – which is probably the most “personal” Bond film to date (more on that in the review). LICENCE TO KILL also benefits from having strong elements all across the board: a suspenseful plot, strong women, and a terrific villain in the form of Franz Sanchez – one of the best Bond villains ever.
TRIVIA: The original title of LICENCE TO KILL was LICENCE REVOKED – but the studio was concerned that most Americans wouldn’t know what “revoked” meant, and so it was changed. Yes, sir, we’s a bunch of dodos here in America, apparently.
6. QUANTUM OF SOLACE
YEAR RELEASED: 2008
DIRECTOR: Marc Foerster
SONG: “Another Way To Die” by Jack White and Alicia Keys
BOND PLAYED BY: Daniel Craig
BADDIE: Dominic Greene (Mathieu Amalric), sleazy French dude who works for QUANTUM, which is kind of like a Facebook Generation version of SPECTRE.
BOND GIRLS: Camille Montes (Olga Kurylenko), half Bolivian/half Russian secret service agent who goes rogue in order to get revenge on the bastard who killed her parents (survives); Agent Fields (Gemma Arterton), naïve consulate liaison who is assigned to babysit Bond – only to get fucked senseless by him (dies).
BADDIE’S PLOT: Greene wants to redirect Bolivia’s water supply and hoard it all in an underground reservoir – then charge astronomical prices for water rights. So much for going green…
WHY IT MAKES THE CUT: Just like with LICENCE TO KILL, this movie really divides audiences because they are both so atypical. Sometimes, though, it’s good to stray from the formula. QUANTUM OF SOLACE is a lot shorter and faster than its predecessor, the very popular CASINO ROYALE. Consequently, many folks didn’t know quite how to receive the movie. Since it is a direct sequel to CASINO ROYALE (the first in the series), it is only fitting that the film be given an offbeat look and feel to set it apart from the rest of the franchise. As a one-off exercise in experimental moviemaking, QUANTUM OF SOLACE makes more sense. It also confidently sidesteps the formula for the franchise: Bond and Camille never get intimate, and Bond doesn’t kill the bad guy at the end. It also neatly ties up the Vesper storyline that CASINO ROYALE started.
TRIVIA: The original cut of QUANTUM OF SOLACE runs about three minutes longer, continuing after Bond rescues Corinne from Yussef in Russia. The original ending was supposed to show Bond tracking down Mr. White and killing him for good. However, the producers felt that having the movie end after Bond throws away Vesper’s necklace in the snow would be a better closing point. They also felt that showing the final scene with White would leave the door open for another sequel – and they wanted to end the Vesper storyline once and for all. As a result, this last scene was deleted from the final cut.
5. CASINO ROYALE
YEAR RELEASED: 2006
DIRECTOR: Martin Campbell
SONG: “You Know My Name” by Chris Cornell
BOND PLAYED BY: Daniel Craig
BADDIE: Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen), genius cardplayer and financier to the world’s greatest terrorists. Bit of a gambler, as well. Which leads him into some very hot water…
BOND GIRLS: Vesper Lynd (Eva Green), no-nonsense treasury agent who is assigned to help fund Bond’s poker game against Le Chiffre (dies); Solange Dimitrios (Caterina Murino), unhappy wife to one of the baddies who decides to fuck around with Bond (dies); Valenka (Ivana Milivevic), Le Chiffre’s gal pal who tries to poison Bond (dies).
BADDIE’S PLOT: After losing his terrorist clients’ money on the stock market (and a foiled terrorist attack), Le Chiffre simply plans to win back all the money through a really high-stakes poker game at the Casino Royale in Montenegro. Fortunately, MI-6 gets wind of this and decides to toss our boy Bond into the mix to try cock-block, er, card-block Le Chiffre’s hand. Trouble and mayhem ensues.
WHY IT MAKES THE CUT: After tipping dangerously into cartoonish parody territory with the enjoyable but silly DIE ANOTHER DAY in 2002, the producers of the Bond franchise decided (rightly) to reboot the series. Much in the same way they had the mean, deadly Timothy Dalton replace the goofy, breezy Roger Moore back in 1987 with THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS, the brains behind the Bond machine brought on the thuggish Daniel Craig to take the reigns from the more suave and polished Pierce Brosnan. And it was a “lightning in a bottle” move. Not only did Craig bring a more vigorous and dynamic interpretation of the character, but he also revived the way the stories are told. CASINO ROYALE has more depth than your average Bond film, and while its central romantic relationship isn’t 100% airtight because of some opaque scripting, it is still very worthy of being in the Top Five.
TRIVIA: Quentin Tarantino was very interested in directing CASINO ROYALE. Also, Charlize Theron, Rose Byrne, and Angelina Jolie were strongly considered for the role of Vesper. Personally, I would’ve loved to have seen either Theron or Byrne in the role.
4. THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH
YEAR RELEASED: 1999
DIRECTOR: Michael Apted
SONG: “The World Is Not Enough” by Garbage
BOND PLAYED BY: Pierce Brosnan
BADDIE: Elektra King (Sophie Marceau), oil tycoon who is intent on wiping out the competition so that her oil pipeline will be the only functioning petroleum provider in the world. She is aided by lapdog Renard (Robert Carlyle), who has a bullet in his head that keeps him from experiencing pleasure or pain. That’s gotta suck.
BOND GIRL: Dr. Christmas Jones (Denise Richards), improbably gorgeous American nuclear physicist who gets pulled into the fray when she inadvertently blows the whistle on Bond, thereby allowing Renard to steal a nuclear warhead. Fortunately, her IQ is a big as her tits, and she allies with Bond to fix her mis-step.
BADDIE’S PLOT: See above where we talk about Elektra wiping out the competition to corner the oil market. She plans to do this by using the warhead Renard stole from Christmas’s bunker to contaminate Istanbul – where the competing pipelines’ oil supplies converge. So much for that Turkish holiday…
WHY IT MAKES THE CUT: As with most of the entries on this list, THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH is atypical. That is, it isn’t afraid to tweak the formula and do something new. Elektra King is not only series’ best villain, but also its first female Chief Villain. Bad Girls are nothing new in the Bond franchise, but this is the first time a woman is the one pulling all the strings and not just a henchwoman the way Xenia Onatopp (GOLDENEYE), Fiona Volpe (THUNDERBALL), May Day (A VIEW TO A KILL), Miranda Frost (DIE ANOTHER DAY), and Helga Brandt (YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE) did in their films. The relationships between Bond and Elektra, and Elektra and Renard, are also not your usual hero-villain, villain-henchman connections. Also, Denise Richards is a nice sexy presence as Dr. Christmas Jones and is the most underrated actress in the Bond franchise. The character is fine, and Richards plays her well. The only real flaw that movie has is the way it handles Elektra’s fate. While her death scene is gripping, it should’ve been the very final scene. After she departs the action, the film loses a lot of energy and power. Better to have used Bruce Fierstein’s proposed alternate ending where she survives and is confined to an asylum.
TRIVIA: In the first drafts of the THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, Christmas was supposed to play a French-Polynesian insurance investigator, but she became an American nuclear physicist in subsequent versions of the script. Javier Bardem (who plays Silva in SKYFALL) was also strongly considered to play Renard.
3. SKYFALL (WARNING: Some SPOILERS ahead)
YEAR RELEASED: 2012
DIRECTOR: Sam Mendes
SONG: “Skyfall” by Adele
BOND PLAYED BY: Daniel Craig
BADDIE: Silva (Javier Bardem), bleached-blonde cyberterrorist/hacker who has a real grudge against M (Judi Dench) and MI-6, and seems to have a major boner (seriously) for our boy Bond. Remember how I joked in our review for GOLDFINGER (review # ) that they should have a gay (or gay-ish) villain named Dick Buffet or Schlong Extravaganza? Well, looks like Christmas came early this year… Well, you know what I mean.
BOND GIRLS: Eve (Naomie Harris ), MI-6 field agent who gets to shave Bond’s face, not his chest – which would be a crime (survives); Severine (Berenice Marlohe), Eurasian hottie who is an associate of Silva’s and who gets to shower with Bond (dies).
BADDIE’S PLOT: Pretty simple: kill M and ruin MI-6. This is one vengeful mo-fo.
WHY IT MAKES THE CUT: I don’t want to spoil more than I already have and would like to save it for the actual review which is already written up and will be released soon, but let’s just say that SKYFALL is the perfect Bond film to celebrate the 50th Anniversary of the James Bond franchise: it’s not your typical Bond adventure. It is very atypical, and manages to be both an emotionally full experience while never being less than a suspenseful action ride and dynamic thriller. Everyone is brings their A-game here – as well they should, since SKYFALL rings in half a century of the Bond Universe.
TRIVIA: Early ideas for the movie that would eventually become SKYFALL included the possibility of Rachel Weisz playing that head of Quantum. Had this happened, it would’ve been the second time a woman played the Chief Villain of a Bond movie. The first time was in 1999 with THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, when Sophie Marceau played Elektra King. This idea was discarded, as was any usage of Quantum, in favor of an original story.
2. FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE
YEAR RELEASED: 1963
DIRECTOR: Terence Young
SONG: “From Russia With Love” by Matt Monro
BOND PLAYED BY: Sean Connery
BADDIE: Although he remains offscreen throughout the entire film, the Chief Villain here is Blofeld, head of SPECTRE. Rosa Klebb (Lotte Lenya) is just his henchwoman – although she makes for a formidable one. Red Grant (Robert Shaw), is another fearsome henchman.
BOND GIRLS: Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi), Russian cryptography clerk who is pulled into the Spy Game when the baddies recruit her to lure Bond into a deadly trap – then she falls in love with him (survives); Sylvia Trench (Eunice Grayson), Bond’s on-again-off-again girlfriend who must really be tired with having to share him with the rest of the female populace of the World.
BADDIE’S PLOT: SPECTRE wants to get ahold of some decoder contraption that will help them in the Cold War. Rosa Klebb just wants to get her fist in Bond’s stomach. Silly lady…
WHY IT MAKES THE CUT: The second film in the series, FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE has more of an emphasis on suspense and espionage than latter 60’s Bond films like GOLDFINGER, THUNDERBALL, and YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE would have. Those films seemed to focus more on action and gadgets, instead of the classic “Spy Thriller” elements that this movie zeroes in on. Connery is clearly comfortable in the role and is a great mix of swagger and seriousness. Bianchi nails her “naïve innocent over her head” role, while Lotte Lenya is a refreshingly no-nonsense henchwoman who paved the way for the similar (if much more attractive) Fiona Volpe (Luciana Paluzzi) in THUNDERBALL. And Robert Shaw is a great henchman as Red Grant, the seemingly unstoppable thug who is more than a match for Bond. All in all, FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE is classic Bond.
AND THE # 1 BOND FILM OF ALL TIME:
1. GOLDENEYE
YEAR RELEASED: 1995
DIRECTOR: Martin Campbell
SONG: “Goldeneye” by Tina Turner
BOND PLAYED BY: Pierce Brosnan
BADDIE: Alec Trevelyan (Sean Bean), also known as 006 – yes, folks, he and Bond used to be friends. Now they can’t wait to blow each other’s brains out. Boys will be boys…
BOND GIRLS: Natalya Simonova (Izabella Scorupco), brilliant and scrappy Russian computer programmer who allies with Bond to bring Trevelyan down; Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen), sadistic pain freak bizarro who is 006’s right-hand gal – and who also crushes men with her thighs. Par-tay!
BADDIE’S PLOT: 006 wants to get revenge on England by setting of an EMP bomb that will destroy all electronics and send the British Empire back to the Stone Age. Oh, and he wants to steal, like, a bazillion pounds while he’s at it. Seems like little Alec is being a bad boy, isn’t he?
WHY IT IS # 1: I distinctly remember watching GOLDENEYE when it first came out back in 1995. A friend and I posed as journalists and crashed an advance screening of it. For the next two hours, we were on Cloud 9 – and spilled out of the theater breathless with excitement. GOLDENEYE gets it right across the board: a strong Bond in the form of Pierce Brosnan, a solid and handsome baddie in the form of Sean Bean – and two terrific Bond girls in the forms of Izabella Scorupco and Famke Janssen. The movie is one big roller-coaster ride that manages to be suspenseful and serpentine, with showstopping setpieces and sequences, combining the best of the Action and Thriller genres at the same time Without question, the best Bond film. Ever.
TRIVIA: GOLDENEYE was supposed to star Timothy Dalton, but the ongoing legal issues ensnaring the studio led to endless delays, ultimately leading Dalton step down. The reigns were passed on to Brosnan, who by then was free of his contractual obligations to REMINGTON STEELE.
Take care, folks… please expect the reviews for CLOUD ATLAS, WRECK-IT RALPH, SKYFALL, and the remaining Bond films to post once we get back into town and throughout November and December. Happy Monday evening…
