ANCHORMAN 2 (2013 - ALLEGED COMEDY) *1/2 out of ***** or 3 out of 10
(And the Worst Movie For 2013 Award goes to....)
CAST: Will Ferrell, Paul Rudd, Steve Carrell, Christina Applegate, Brian Fantana, David Koechner, Meagan Good, Dylan Baker, James Marsden.
DIRECTOR: Adam McKay
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some damn good reason to never watch another Will Ferrell movie ever again...
IT'S LIKE THIS: Relationships are all about compromise. This is never more true than when it comes to choosing which movie to see as a group. Obviously, everyone has their own ideas about what constitutes great entertainment, and even more obviously a consensus must be reached before the tickets are purchased. Sometimes, compromise works out, as it did recenly when a buddy dragged me to see THE LEGO MOVIE (review coming), which I was sure would blow cat chow chunks. To my surprise it was the best movie, so far, of 2014. Good thing, too, because THE LEGO MOVIE makes up for the colossal pile of steaming shit that he dragged me to right before.
The movie is ANCHORMAN 2, and if you ever wanted to see a prime example of First World waste, it's this "movie." How else to explain sinking millions of dollars ($50 million, allegedly) into something that essentially had a roll of smeared, crusty toilet paper for a script? How else do you explain the millions of people who helped make this "movie" a hit? Wouldn't all the money involved have been better spent on, I don't know, sponsoring needy Third-World kids through Christian Children's Fund or Save The Children? Or even just a really fun pub crawl? Anything but making this piece of crap? Or sitting in a theater being subjected to it?
I have seen bits and pieces of ANCHORMAN and didn't get the point of it. I have a healthy sense of humor and appreciaton of the ridiculous and edgy, but the "humor" in the first ANCHORMAN flick just flew right past my head. It felt like watching a bunch of developmentally-disabled douchebags enjoying a joke only fathomable to them - and us being forced to pay to watch them. The "humor" in ANCHORMAN 2 is even more non-existent, if you can imagine such a staggering scenario. The "plot" follows idiot egotist anchorman Ron Burgundy (Willl Ferrell) and his posse of similarly choad-like buddies: dingbat Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd), loon Brick Tamland, and nutjob Champ Kind (David Koechner).
This time, we have to watch as Ron and his hapless wife Veronica Corningstone (a completely wasted Christina Applegate) get their relationship tested when she gets a promotion and he gets a demotion by going back to San Diego to work at Sea World or some crap, where he was originally foisted onto the unsuspecting world. Talk about giving California Boys a bad rap. We're supposed to care about Ron and Veronica getting back together and surmounting the obstacles created by their "careers." Frankly, all I could think of was "I could be watching paint dry right now..."
So... here goes: will these two dimwits reunite and reaffirm their "love" for each other? Will Ron's "pals" help out somehow? And what happens when Ron acquires a "rival" in the form of the impossibly handsome and impossibly toothy Jack Lime (James Marsden)? And what happens when ruthless network exec Linda Jakson (Meagan Good) starts giving Ron some major googley eyes? Will Veronica just stand by and let her man get swept away by another woman?
One word to Linda: girl, really?
Okay, that was two words. But the woman must be fucked in the head to go after Ron "I am idiot" Burgundy...
BUT, SERIOUSLY: There's not much to say, folks, except that this movie is quite bad. Sure, the technical and production values are top-notch, since $50,000,000 buys you top equipment. However, the script is pure trash. I have heard of people walking out in droves from the theater, and I have to wonder if the decision to release the (dear lord) extended cut of ANCHORMAN 2 this weekend was to help with the box office. I almost walked out myself, but I didn't was because of loyalty to my friend. I did joke that I will never forgive him for subjecting me to the travesty of this flick. For most of the film, it feels like you are watching people goofing around instead of professional actors working from a solid script. If they were engaging in improv, well, they were doing it badly.
I have never understood the appeal of Will Ferrell. This is a guy whose idea of comedy is yelling his jokes as loud as he can and browbeating you into laughing. Obviously that old chestnut about comedy being all about timing is lost on him. Ferrell is tolerable in tiny to small doses (WEDDING CRASHERS and OLD SCHOOL), but when he is the star of the show, he is insufferable. He sank a potentially-great soccer film with his mugging and horrendous overacting (KICKING AND SCREAMING) and was the reason I stayed away from TALLADEGA NIGHTS and SEMI-PRO.
To be fair, though, Ferrell has been improving lately in his co-starring roles. I actually didn't mind him in THE OTHER GUYS, opposite Mark Wahlberg. Of course, this could also be because Wahlberg is great in comedies and elevated Ferrell's game. He was also surprisingly fun in THE CAMPAIGN, opposite Zach Galifanakis. Again, this could be because he was sharing the spotlight with a strong comedian. He seems to be okay when paired with someone with real comedic talent and a good script. However, in ANCHORMAN 2 he and his co-stars Paul Rudd, David Koechner, and Steve Carrell are lost at sea with a lousy screenplay.
It's just painful watching these normally-engaging guys mug shamelessly and histrionically. The whole movie seems like outtakes and not the real thing. The only potentially-funny sequence is the part where Ron attends a family dinner at Linda's house, who are African-American, and proceeds to offend everyone with his stereotyping. This whole scene feels like it belongs in another, better movie. It's the only reason that ANCHORMAN 2 doesn't get an "Utter Crap" rating (*).
Pass. Big time.
