COMING ATTRACTION: SKYFALL

Hello, all. Hope everyone is having a great Memorial Day Weekend.

Just a quick post from the road to let you folks know I pulled the last two posts detailing the upcoming Bond film SKYFALL, to consolidate them into one bigger post. This is the format we will follow whenever we do a preview of an upcoming film. It echoes our movie review format. Please see below:

SKYFALL (Release Date: 11/2/12 in the U.S,; 10/26/12 in the U.K.)



CAST: Daniel Craig, Javier Bardem, Naomie Harris, Berenice Marlohe, Judi Dench, Ralph Fiennes, Ola Rapace, Ben Whishaw, Helen McCrory, Tonia Sotiropolou.

DIRECTOR: Sam Mendes

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one testosterone-driven British spy - straight ahead



IT'S LIKE THIS: In his 23rd adventure, perennial daredevil playboy James Bond (Daniel Craig) of Her Majesty's, uh, MI-6 finds himself dealing with his boss M's (Judi Dench) dark past when some nasty business from her CV comes back to bite her in the tushie. Throw in a mysterious bad guy named Silva (Javier Bardem), an even more mysterious half-Chinese chick called Severine (Berenice Marlohe) who may or may not be helping Silva, and yet another "Female Bond" in the form of field agent Eve (Naomie Harris), and you've got one of the most serpentine Bond thrillers since THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH. With locations in England, Scotland, Turkey, and China, SKYFALL promises to be more of a return to Bondian form than the Bourne-like QUANTUM OF SOLACE. Oh, and Ralph Fiennes is also onboard as Gareth Mallory, M's number two. I guess it's safe to say Fiennes isn't making a cameo appearance. Ahem.


Our boy Bond:


Bond follows Severine in Shanghai:


Silva disguises himself as a London cop:


Eve chases a baddie in Turkey:


Eve shaves Bond in Macau:


Severine makes an "exchange" at Shanghai International Airport:


Severine and her bodyguards leave the airport:


Bond spies on Severine in her Shanghai apartment:


Severine realizes Bond is watching her (hot!):


This time, M and her secrets are at the center of the story:


Daniel Craig and Javier Bardem at the December 2011 press conference that kicked off filming:


Daniel Craig and his two leading ladies, Naomie Harris and Berenice Marlohe, at the December 2011 press conference:


The four leads at the December 2011 press conference:


THE SCOOP: In 2006, the massive success of CASINO ROYALE not only introduced Daniel Craig as a meaner, grittier, more complex James Bond, but also rebooted the franchise to its Ian Fleming-esque roots. And it didn't happen a minute too soon: its predecessor DIE ANOTHER DAY (2002), while an enjoyable and flashy romp, also brought the series one step closer to being a cartoon. In hindsight, its financial success could be seen as disturbing. Is this what audiences are willing to pay to see? An ice palace? A villain who undergoes "gene therapy" and goes from being a North Korean colonel to an Icelandic billionaire mogul in just a few months? A giant space laser that was built and launched in less than a year? A villain with a face full of diamonds? An invisible car? Many folks knock THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH for having Denise Richards play a brainy-but-playful nuclear physicist disarming nukes in Kazakhstan, but she's downright believable compared to the elements in DIE ANOTHER DAY.

Fortunately, the producers of the Bond franchise brought us back to basics and gave us CASINO ROYALE. It was a refreshing return to form and one of the best entries in the series. Still, it is not a perfect movie. Its central romance is confusing. I used to think Eva Green was miscast as Vesper Lynd. Now, however, I realize that the character is just so opaquely-written and difficult to play, what with all of the different levels and hidden agendas. I suppose a more expressive actress than Green might have been able to essay Vesper properly, but I tend to think now that the fault really lies with the script. Vesper should've been limned more carefully by the writers. Even with this flaw, though, CASINO ROYALE remains a sterling installment in the franchise.

In 2008, QUANTUM OF SOLACE followed, aiming to continue the story of Bond and his quest to uncover the reason behind Vesper's betrayal. QUANTUM OF SOLACE would go on to earn just as much as CASINO ROYALE, both domestically and internationally. But because of a too-lean script and a closer feel to the Jason Bourne movies rather than the Bond films, it is not regarded as well as its predecessor. I happen to like QUANTUM OF SOLACE a lot, but it too has its flaws. By director Marc Forster's insistence on keeping the film to a brisk 106 minutes (the shortest Bond film ever), we lose a lot of potential character development between Bond and his cohorts, most notably the equally-damaged and vengeful Camille played with graceful skill by Olga Kurylenko. In short, QUANTUM OF SOLACE divided audiences sharply, and was not the follow-up to CASINO ROYALE that most people envisioned.

Now we have SKYFALL, which the producers are promising to be a return to form after the interesting misfire of QUANTUM OF SOLACE. It is just appropriate that a Bond film be released in 2012, since it marks the 50th anniversary of the series. Yes, folks, half a century ago in 1962, the first Bond film, DR. NO, was released and started the whole rollercoaster. Now, fifty years later, the series is stronger than ever, with SKYFALL to prove it.

All the traditional Bond elements are here: our hero Bond, a dangerous villain, a female ally, a femme fatale who could be friend or foe, a gallery of colorful supporting characters who are either allies or enemies, globe-trotting locations, exotic gadgets, high-flying stunts... you name it. With noted director Sam Mendes (AMERICAN BEAUTY, ROAD TO PERDITION, AWAY WE GO) at the helm, the production looks very promising. Also, we have a plot that sees M even more involved than she was in THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, which semaphores some interesting developments. There are those who kid that M is the real Bond girl in SKYFALL, and not Eve or Severine. Javier Bardem's villain Silva is also said to be quite formidable, while the Bond Girls themselves seem complex and multi-faceted. In interviews, Berenice Marlohe (who plays Severine) has said that she approached the role as not a Bond girl, but as a unique character in a unique film. Smart woman. Something tells me the women will not be as easy to peg this time around.

There are some additional rumors that I will not share here because they are MAJOR SPOILERS. All I will say is that there is a good chance in SKYFALL that a major recurring character will disappear for good, while a major recurring character (or two) will be introduced. Some things are best kept under wraps. What we do know for certain, based on the stills, reports, and teaser trailer released is that this is one dynamic Bond film. From its vibrant cinematography, to its serpentine and mysterious plotline, to its talented and enthusiastic cast and crew, SKYFALL has the potential to match or eclipse CASINO ROYALE in quality.

In the end, though, we have to wait until this fall to know for sure. But things are looking good. And we'll know a bit more when the longer, full trailer is released in August or so. Until then, we have the previous 22 films to help us to begin the 50th Anniversary Celebration of the most remarkable series in cinema history. And when SKYFALL is released later this year, the celebration will kick up a notch...

In closing, a few YouTube vids from fellow Bond fans that celebrate 50 years of James Bond, his ladies, and their adventures.













And a special tribute to Timothy Dalton, my favorite Bond ever (even more so than Daniel Craig). He only did two films, THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS and LICENCE TO KILL, but they are two of the best in the series. Saluti, Sir Dalton. I get hot just looking at those eyebrows of yours...




Have a great weekend, folks. Hope to post the reviews for THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL, CHERNOBYL DIARIES, BATTLESHIP, and DARK SHADOWS by the time we get back.

Ciao....

# 455 - THE ROAD

THE ROAD (2012 - HORROR / MYSTERY) ***1/2 out of *****

(Oh. You. Stupid. Kids...)



CAST: TJ Trinidad, Jaclyn Jose, Barbi Forteza, Rhian Ramos, Louise De Los Reyes, Marvin Agustin, Lexi Fernandez, Derick Monasterio, Renz Valerio, Alden Richards, Allan Paule, Ana Abad-Santos.

DIRECTOR: Yam Laranas

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one seriously cursed road that should be buried under lava and salted over - straight ahead...




IT'S LIKE THIS: Ah, teenagers.... is there a stupider group of creatures in the Universe? Not if horror movies are anything to go by. I don't care if a youngster is in AP Chem, Bio, English, Algebra, and Basket Weaving, and is also the captain of the soccer team and speaks seven languages with an IQ of 179, all you have to do is put him or her in a horror movie and suddenly he or she develops the reasoning power and survival instincts of a used teabag. And it isn't just American cinematic teenagers that turns as smart as bricks when their lives are in danger. Apparently, our cousins over in the Philippine archipelago have the same issue. Our next review is the new Philippine horror flick THE ROAD, and let me clear up right now this movie has absolutely nothing to do with the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel by Cormac McCarthy or the cinematic adaptation starring Viggo Mortensen and Charlize Theron. Nope. The titular road in this flick is plagued by something even more freaky than roving cannibals and survivalists.

The nightmare (and onscreen stupid behavior) starts one night in 2008 when upper middle-class Manila teenager Ella (Barbie Forteza), her cousin Janine (Lexi Fernandez), and Janine's boy-toy Bryan (Derick Monasterio) decided to take Janine's dad's car out for a spin so that Bryan can teach the girls how to drive. Problem is two-fold: (1) Bryan doesn't have a license himself, and (2) Bryan is stupid. This is clearly evidenced by his decision to avoid a police checkpoint (and discovery of his non-license holder status) by - here it comes, folks, and it's a doozy - busting open a boarded up turn-off from the main thoroughfare - and driving down the dark dirt road beyond. "We have our own private road!" says Bryan, the future rocket scientist. Oh, that's right. He has no future. Moron.

Sure enough, all manner of freaky shit begins to happen. Including, but not limited to: (1) a driverless red car with its brights on that constantly shows up behind them even though they never see it turn around; (2) a woman in a long dress and a bag over her head in the middle of the road; and (3) number 1 and 2 over and over and over again, playing like some utterly fucked-up Halloween gag reel. It doesn't help that no matter how far Ella, Janine, and Bryan drive along this road, it never goes anywhere. And when they turn around to go back to the main highway, they can never seem to reach it. It's like being stuck on one of those toy racetracks - except, well, with ghosts.

Then we jump back to one day in 1998 when sisters Lara (Rhian Ramos) and Anna (Louise De Los Reyes) are driving along the same road when their car suddenly overheats. It just so happens that a cute guy (Alden Richards) is walking by, and he indicates they should follow him to fetch some water for their car. In yet another stupid move, Lara and Anna comply. I mean, seriously: it doesn't strike them as odd that someone lives alone in a house along a creepy-ass road and even creepier-ass woods? Not even a little? It doesn't come as a major surprise that the guy turns out to be a nutjob who knocks them both out and chains them in separate rooms. Eventually, Lara escapes and tries to get help. Unfortunately, our resident psycho feels she hasn't even come close to overstaying her welcome - and goes after her...

Cut another ten years back to 1988 where we find the same road and the same house, but with a family instead of a Filipino version of Norman Bates. We've got Dad (Marvin Agustin), who is a preacher, Mom (Carmina Villaroel), who is a bitch, and Son (Renz Valerio), who is fucked because he has to stay at home with his bitch mother all day. It doesn't come as a surprise, either, that she often locks the kid in a cabinet while she messes around with her boyfriend (not Dad) all day. Turns out her husband knows all about her affair, but is too pussy-whipped to do anything about it. Mom also forbids Son from ever taking one step outside the house - or she tans his hide within an inch of his life. Basically, she's an all-around mega-banshee and is more frightening than any ghost could ever be.

So... how do the events from 2008, 1998, and 1988 all tie in to one another? What is the source of the evil along this road? What role does the family from 1988 have to do with the sisters from 1998 and the teens from 2008? And vice versa? What happens when a detective (TJ Trinidad) in 2008 is asked to investigate the cold case from 1998? Will he dig further back to the history of the family in 1988? And if so, what will he find? What is the secret of THE ROAD?

Who cares. These people asked for it.






















BUT, SERIOUSLY: With the release of the Japanese horror hit RINGU in 1998, the Asian Horror Genre was born. While this genre always existed, it wasn't until the worldwide success of RINGU, JU-ON, KAIRO, SHUTTER, ONE MISSED CALL and others like them that Hollywood took notice of these films that eschewed the typically-American traits of blood, guts, and sex for atmosphere, mood, and slow burn terror. Before long, American studios were remaking them in droves. Some of these western versions of the same eastern stories were hits (THE RING, THE GRUDGE), while most eventually misfired (PULSE, ONE MISSED CALL, SHUTTER). It's difficult to recapture the same eerie dread that permeates the original Asian films in American settings.

While Japan, Thailand, and Korea had many strong entries in the Asian Horror boom from the start, the Philippines didn't. There was a couple of minor entries here and there (FENG SHUI, the SHAKE RATTLE AND ROLL series), but none of them were noticed in the same way RINGU and its progenitors did due to poor quality. Director Yam Laranas' output is the exception. Laranas' first horror film was SIGAW ("Scream" in Filipino), and was remade in the United States as THE ECHO, with Laranas himself directing as well. He followed that up in the Philippines with the vampire film PATIENT X, which was okay but didn't receive the attention that SIGAW did. Consequently, PATIENT X never saw an American remake.

Now, Laranas brings us his third horror offering, THE ROAD. And it is easily the strongest of his films. In our review for CIAO (review # 435), we discussed how three main things must be considered when reviewing a film: intent, execution, and result. Many other elements like plot, character, dialogue, etc. can be lumped under each of these three categories. Basically, you have to consider what the filmmakers intended, how they went about achieving them, and whether they succeeded. Some films have admirable intentions, but the execution suffers because of either a low budget or some other weak link within the cast or crew, leading to mixed results. While other films never had lofty intentions to begin with, but were buoyed by a large budget, resulting in quality fare (at least, technical-wise). Other films achieve the perfect trifecta of having strong intentions, superb execution, and stellar results.

THE ROAD falls under the category of films that have great intentions, but are constricted by a limited budget. The result is still quiet strong, especially for a horror movie, but you can't help but feel that the film would've been even more effective with a higher budget. As it is, though, it is an admirable exercise in atmosphere, dread, and clammy horror that sneaks up on you in a quiet, quiet, quiet way. Most of the time, this is far more terrifying than loud scares that announce themselves with a crash of special effects. THE ROAD's terrors are more of the insidiously insinuating kind, much like the films it most closely resembles: the Japanese horror classic JU-ON and its even better American remake, THE GRUDGE (which is what JU-ON means in English).

JU-ON and THE GRUDGE both used a large gallery of loosely-connected characters and a fractured, non-linear progression to tell the story of how a seemingly-ordinary Tokyo house became the source of an unrelenting curse that spreads like a virus to anyone who enters its front door. Similarly, THE ROAD explores how the titular thoroughfare became as haunted as it is in the present. The interesting difference, though, is that Laranas uses a much more elegant and linear approach - except he is going back in time instead of ahead. Reverse linear, if you will. We start in 2008 with the ill-fated teens on a late night joyride, we segue back to 1998 to see how the "cold case" of the two missing sisters began, and finally all the way back to 1988, where the evil started.

Like JU-ON, THE GRUDGE, and RINGU, Laranas leaves it up to the viewer to piece together the mystery of what is happening on the road. He avoids the traps that American horror films routinely fall into - that is, overexplaining the backstory, which dissipates a lot of the mystery and tension. His scares are similarly subtle, but no less effective. Watch for the scene where Bryan and Janine are desperately running down the road to find their way back to the main highway - but something is following them. It is a supremely creepy image and will no doubt chill everyone including the hardiest of horror fans. And will make you look at plastic bags differently for then on. You'll see.

Laranas also handles the final twist of the film with understated class. In hindsight, it makes perfect sense. He even manages to end the film on an enigmatic note that makes the movie linger in your mind. Suffice it to say, Laranas juxtaposes themes of good and evil, dark and light, ugliness and beauty throughout this film - and the final image and twist is no exception. I fear I may have already revealed too much, because by saying there is a twist, you automatically condition people to look out for it. Suffice it to say, you will still appreciate it even if you see it coming. I didn't, and it's a credit to Laranas' sleight-of-hand and misdirection that he fooled me, because I correctly guessed the twist to THE SIXTH SENSE about halfway into the film. And everyone else I know never realized Bruce Willis' character was dead until it the moment it was revealed. THE ROAD's twist is more concealed - and even more devastating.

The cast of Philippine performers is both attractive and talented. My concern going into this film was that they would mostly be histrionic and over-the-top, as is the cinematic acting style of the Philippine Islands. I was pleasantly surprised to find their performances as naturalistic, subtle, and believable as Laranas' handling of everything else in the production. Whether it's the first act's trio of misguided teens played by Barbie Forteza, Lexi Fernandez, and Derick Monasterio, or the second act's doomed sisters played by the gorgeous Rhian Ramos and Louise DeLos Reyes, the final act's tragic family played by Marvin Agustin, Carmina Villaroel, and Renz Valerio, or the sympathetic and confused detective played by TJ Trinidad whose storyline acts as the spine connecting all three acts and timelines, each of these actors acquit themselves very well and keep us invested. The standouts are Villaroel as the spectacularly cruel mother, Ramos as the fiercely protective older sister, and Trinidad as the detective who slowly starts to realize the extent of the road's evil - and how far back it reaches. And just how far into the future it may continue if he doesn't stop it.

I have heard rumors that THE ROAD will eventually be picked up for a remake by an American studio. If so, I can't think of a better Asian film out there right now to be remade on these shores. Hopefully, Laranas will be allowed to direct it just like he did with SIGAW and THE ECHO. The only thing that keeps THE ROAD from reaching a rating of **** (very good) is its technical constraints evident in certain sequences. Other than that, though, it is a solidly good ghost story with great intentions, reasonably strong execution - resulting in one of the better horror movies to come along in years. Fortune willing, if Laranas is allowed to helm the American remake with a much larger budget at his disposal, I have no doubt he will create a film that will endure as a horror classic. As it is, this version of THE ROAD is just a few glitches shy of being one. For a Philippine film, that is still certainly cause for pride and celebration.

Go, Yam. Best of luck on the American remake. You and your film deserve it...

# 454 - FRENCH KISS

# 454 - FRENCH KISS

FRENCH KISS (1995 - ROMANTIC COMEDY) **** out of *****

(Bicker, bicker, bicker, bicker, fall in love - Frenchie-style...)



CAST: Meg Ryan, Kevin Kline, Timothy Hutton, Jean Reno, Susan Anbeh, Francois Cluzet.

DIRECTOR: Lawrence Kasdan.

WARNING: Some SPOILERS one seriously mismatched Franco-American couple - straight ahead...




IT'S LIKE THIS: Poor Kate (Meg Ryan). She's not exactly having a great week. First, she's missed out on a chance to accompany her Canadian fiancee Charlie (Timothy Hutton) to Paris on a medical conference because of her fear of flying. Second, she's giving up her American citizenship to become a Canadian to prove her love and the process is taking slower than an ADSL connection in 1997. And now, third: Charlie's just called from Paris saying he's met a hot French number named Juliette (Susan Anbeh) - and he's not going to marry Kate now. Guess what Continental, frog leg-eating whore is going to carry the title of Mrs. Jackass now?

Now, ordinarily, most women who get dumped translantically over the phone by a thoughtless asshole such as Charlie would basically fuck his brother as revenge then move on with their lives. Not our dear Kate, though. Flummoxed and blindsided by this development, she quickly gets over her fear of flying and jumps on the next Paree-bound jet to get her man back. Well, actually, she doesn't quite get over her fear. More like suppresses it like a champ. Which means she basically sits in her seat trembling like a leaf caught in a monsoon.

Which delights her seatmate to no end. He is Luc Tessier (Kevin Kline), one of those dashing, sarcastic, humorous French men that only seem to show up on transatlantic flights to tweak brittle chicks who hate to fly. Let's just say that the 7 hour flight from Toronto to France is about as enjoyable for Kate as the cooking process is for your average lobster. At least the crustacean can die secure in the knowledge that someone is going to have a good time gnoshing on his limbs later. Kate doesn't have that privilege.

And to make matters more excruciating, when Luc isn't pirouetting on Kate's last nerves, he is sneaking off to the men's room. Like every ten minutes or so. Now, you'd think Kate would be grateful for these respites from Luc's particularly potent Gallic form of, um, charm. But, no: she gives him hell about it each time. Tit for tat, I guess. Personally, I was starting to suspect that Luc was jacking off in the loo in a clear misunderstanding of the precepts of the "Mile High Club". Luc, dude, you have to have someone else in there with you to qualify. Your orgasms should not be self-induced. Take it from a lifetime club member. Ahem.

Anyhow, the fun continues in Paris, where Luc proceeds to follow around Kate like a stray dog looking for a leg to pee on. To further complicate things, Kate gets her belongings and passport stolen by a local con artist (Francois Cluzet) because she's about as street smart as a half-eaten apple. The con artist was probably slapping his thighs with disbelief at how a breeze it was going to be to clean out Kate - kind of like shooting sardines in a can. Fortunately, Luc catches up to her to help track down Charlie and prevent her from turning into Liam Neeson's daughter in TAKEN. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if the kidnappers released Kate back onto the street after just two minutes in captivity. They'd have a greater chance of placating a hornet's nest.

Luc eventually makes a deal with Kate to help her win back Charlie. Soon he and Kate are traveling from Paris to Luberon, where Luc and his wine-making clan lives. Yes, folks, the mind reels at the thought of more people like Luc, but they actually seem normal in comparison. Then from there, it is on to Cannes, where Charlie and his French tart Juliette have decided to tan their asses. Being the scoundrel that he is, Luc hatches a ploy for Kate to snag Charlie - and put Juliette out to pasture. Or at least onto Luc's face.

But what is Luc in it for? Besides Juliette's twat, that is? Does it have something to do with the mysterious plant he smuggled into France? Is it true that he plans to start a vineyard with it and quit the low life? Or does he have something else up his sleeve? If so, what is it? Is this why he's being chased by a Paris cop named Jean-Paul (Jean Reno)? Will Jean-Paul catch up to Luc? And what happens when Kate finds herself falling for this goofy Frenchman? Will he return her feelings? Or will he hide them and urge to get back together with Charlie? Does Charlie even deserve a second chance with Kate? Should he? Or should Kate start learning French?

Girl, just dump both of them and jump on that next plane to Italy and find yourself an Italian Stallion. That's what I did. Trust me - you'll love it.


























BUT, SERIOUSLY: In our review for MONTE CARLO (review # 413), we talked about films that are fluffy and fun but also have some surprising depth and melancholy to them. Unfortunately, they are written off as frivolous simply because most folks can't see past the surface fluff. We highly rated MONTE CARLO because of its fluid and deft ability to balance light comedy and romance with surprisingly dimensional characters and deeper threads. It's a formula that goes as far back as the screwball comedies of the 30's and 40's to later hits like PRETTY WOMAN, WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING, THE UGLY TRUTH, JUST GO WITH IT, and SLIDING DOORS.

FRENCH KISS is cut from the same cloth as the above films but, like MONTE CARLO and the upcoming THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL, has been transferred to a glamorous and exotically foreign setting. Essentially FRENCH KISS has the same basic premise that would later be used by both THE UGLY TRUTH and JUST GO WITH IT: two mismatched, bickering characters conspire to help one of them achieve an elusive love interest - only to end up falling in love with each other. The formula is tried-and-true and could easily become stale with thin characters or unskilled performers.

Fortunately, Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline are deft comedians who are also good actors. They know to not only deliver comic lines, but also how to load gestures and words with subtext and emotion. It's crucial that Kate and Luc be more than just your average Xenophobic, high-maintenance American, or your basic boorish, brash Frenchman. We have to see them as multi-dimensional human beings. Writer/director Lawrence Kasdan skillfully limns both characters and gives each of them a satisfying arc that goes from enemies, to frenemies, to friends, then finally to lovers. Both Ryan and Kline run with their characters.

Kline is especially hilarious as Luc, giving him a certain goofball air mixed with genuine sexiness. The part where Luc tells Kate about his ass "twitches" whenever he hears people talking about how happy they are, and how Kate imitates and mocks him later on, is pure comic gold. Ryan herself also proves to be a much more interesting presence here. I couldn't stand her in SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE, because she was playing such a bubble-headed ditz. In FRENCH KISS, she is much more intelligent and edgy. There are those who might question why Kate would travel all the way to Paris to find a man who broke her heart, and I would tend to agree with you - at first. But when you really think about it, Kate's actions are rooted in human reality: if you were blindsided by an inexplicable act of cruelty, wouldn't you have the right to know why? Ryan sells the character because she doesn't peddle her usual "cheery ditz" schpiel. Instead, she gives a full-blooded woman who is as strong as she is flawed.

The true test to Kate and Luc's relationship is a key plot point towards the end of the film. If you don't want to be spoiled, stop reading now.... So, here it goes: instead of selling to Cartier the necklace that Luc stole, Kate secretly turns it in to his cop friend Jean-Paul (Jean Reno) to prevent him from being arrested. But Luc still expects the money from the "sale" of the necklace to help him start his vineyard. Kate basically takes all of her life savings and has Cartier issue a check with their name on it to make Luc think the money was from them - but it's really from Kate. He has no idea how she saved him from jail, or that the money he thinks is from the jewelry store is actually her nest egg. Essentially, she makes a sacrifice for him - even knowing she will probably never see him again, nor will he ever find out the money was from her. If the roles of Luc and Kate, were played by anyone else than Ryan or Kline, we may not have bought into this act of genuine love and sacrifice. But because they've done such a great job of reeling us into Luc and Kate's journey, we believe it.

As Charlie, the reprehensible schmuck that callously broke Kate's heart, Hutton tries to invest some shadings into what is essentially a vain, narcissistic scoundrel who is obviously used to being the center of female attention - even though there really isn't much below the superficial surface handsomeness to justify (or sustain) that attention. Hutton is such a good actor (he won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for ORDINARY PEOPLE in 1980) that he manages to give Charlie some nuance, but in the end the character is still a hissable lout. Kate deserves way better than him, and there is a very telling moment where Luc watches Charlie and Juliette flirting, and he simply shakes his head and says, "that's not true love." One wonders how long before Charlie's eye would wander to the next beautiful woman - and leave Juliette in the same way he did Kate. That is, if Juliette doesn't lose interest in him first - which is much more likely since there isn't much to Charlie under his good looks.

Jean Reno and Susan Anbeh are equally fine as, respectively: (1) Jean-Paul, Luc's close friend who happens to be a cop; and (2) Juliette, the French temptress who gets exactly what she deserves: Charlie. Reno, in particular, has a nice brotherly chemistry with Kline. As a cop trying to keep his friend out of trouble while also trying to do his job, Jean-Paul plays a game of cat-and-mouse with Luc, balancing friendship with duty. There's a nice scene between them at the end, after Kate has left, where Jean-Paul tells Luc the act of sacrifice she made for him that would have otherwise gone unknown. It's a great scene, and one you wouldn't expect to find in a "fluffy" romantic comedy. Then again, there's much more to FRENCH KISS than meets the eye.

In the end, FRENCH KISS hews closely to the Romantic Comedy formula - while also subverting it. Proving again that the first step to bending the rules is to follow them and learn them well enough - then deviate from the formula. FRENCH KISS does that very well.

In closing, please absorb a snippet of James Newton Howard's lovely score for FRENCH KISS. This track is titled "I Want You" - and is Luc and Kate's theme. The best part is between 0:41 and 1:00. Beautiful music that gives FRENCH KISS added depth and surprising poignancy....

# 453 - THE AVENGERS (2012)

THE AVENGERS (2012 - ACTION / SUPERHERO) ****1/2 out of *****

(Hot people in Spandex: Aw, yea...)



CAST: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Samuel L. Jackson, Tom Hiddleston, Cobie Smulders, Clark Gregg, Gwyneth Paltrow.

DIRECTOR: Joss Whedon

WARNING: Some SPOILERS one seriously sexy sextet of superheroes - straight ahead....



IT'S LIKE THIS: In IRON MAN, we met swaggering billionaire stud Tony Starke (Robert Downey Jr.) and witnessed how he put on what is basically the coolest "Knight-In-Shining-Armor" suit ever - and turned into Batman, but much less serious and angsty. Then we watched his sexy swagger increase even more (if that's even possible) in IRON MAN 2, where we also got to meet the foxy Natasha Romanov (Scarlett Johansson) - who is basically every butt-kicking Bond Girl from Anya Amasova to Wai Lin to Jinx Johnson to Camille Montes, rolled into one. Then in THOR, we got to meet, uh, Thor (Chris Hemsworth), owner of the best highlights this side of the Sally Hershberger salon. Which makes you wonder why he seems so pissed off all the time. Doesn't the dude know he's got tresses that Gwyneth Paltrow would kill for? Then there's THE INCREDIBLE HULK, where we met "Beta Male With Serious Anger Management Issues" Bruce Banner, who, when seriously ticked, makes Thor look like Ichabod Crane, physique-wise, and Mr. Rogers, temperament-wise.

Speaking of Mr. Rogers, let's talk about a different one. Let's chat a bit about the last member of our sexy sextet of superheroes. Last, but in no... way... the... least... is Steve Rogers (Chris Evans). You'll recall that Stevie was a sweet, earnest, hot 90 pound runt who became a sweet, earnest, hot 220 pound stud who filled out a spandex suit with his perfect bubble butt (small but shapely) quite nicely. Makes me proud to be an American. And horny. Anyhow, you'll also recall that in CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER, Steve tussled with some nazi freakazoid with a really bad sunburn over some sort of glowing cube called "The Tesseract". Well, let's just say that the squabbling continues anew in THE AVENGERS - the latest in Marvel's chain of superhero flicks that is destined to make more money than God. Apparently, that fucking Tesseract thing is more prized than a 50% discount for a penthouse suite at the Hale Koa Hotel in Honolulu. Why, you ask? Well, read on...

It appears that The Tesseract can open the doorway into another dimension and let in a bunch of really ugly looking aliens that resemble a cross between a giant centipede, a garbage truck, and a rusting motorcycle. Which means that someone with an evil bent could conceivably use it to kick off doomsday. Hmmmmmm.... where's an evil mastermind when you need one? Well, it's at this point where Loki (Tom Hiddleston) enters the story saying "You rang?" You folks will recall that Loki is Thor's whiny pissant little brother who really needs to grow a pair. I guess his way of trying to prove himself involves stealing The Tesseract and kickstarting the aforementioned end-of-the-world. Geez, dude. Overkill much? Me, I'll take that half-off penthouse suite at the Hale Koa instead.

Enter mysterious agent Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) and his bonerrific second-in-command, agent Maria Hill (Cobie Smulders). Their job is to make sure our six superheroes don't turn into supertwats and annoy each other - which, given their herculean abilities, would be like nitro irritating glycerin. It's going to be an uphill climb, since Nick and Maria are dealing with: (1) a billionaire playboy with an ego the size of a planetoid, (2) a scientist with mega-anger management issues; (3) a Nordic god who wields a hammer the way most people wield their cellphones; (4) a female assassin named after a deadly spider who has more leather suits than a going-out-of-business sale at an S&M shop; (5) a male assassin named Hawkeye who totes around bows and arrows like he's Robin Hood's bastard son; and (6) our dear Steve Rogers, whom I'd like to have for breakfast, lunch, and dinner... you've heard of a hero sandwich? Well, sweeties, you have not lived until you've had a superhero in your mouth. Or two. Ha ha. Draw your own conclusions...

So... will The Avengers unite to battle Loki? Or will their constant in-fighting undermine their teamwork? Will Loki use The Tesseract to unleash hell on Earth? And if so, what is his ultimate plan? Doesn't the silly shit know he won't have anything left to rule if his rusting garbage truck monsters destroy the whole joint? How can he be stopped? How will this all end? And the most utterly ineffably important question of all: how gorgeous will Steve Rogers and Maria Hill's kids be when they finally just decide to fuck each other's brains out?

Those are going to be some gorgeous offspring...

























BUT, SERIOUSLY: In this increasingly blockbuster-driven American cinema culture, studios are upping the ante to try to give the audiences something they haven't seen before. The danger with that kind of mentality is that with the fervor to outdo the competition, you tend to forget the classic formula of all good movies: (1) establish a group of sympathetic, vivid characters; (2) then put them in mortal danger; (3) and then have them get themselves out of it - or not. Most summer blockbuster films get the second and third parts right - but they sometimes overlook that crucial first part. And if you don't care about a group of characters, you aren't likely to care if they succeed or fail, flee or fight, live or die. With THE AVENGERS, Marvel Studios doesn't really try to give us anything new. Rather, they very wisely take the classic formula of good movie-making - and run with it. Basically, we care about this group of superheroes (and their allies) - and it pays off in us being invested in their mission.

THE AVENGERS has had the distinct advantage of having each of its principals (with the exception of Hawkeye) be set up with their own "backstory" film. This allows to go into THE AVENGERS with an established interest and emotional investment in the characters. All that might have still fallen by the wayside if the leads didn't click with one another. After all, this is their first time sharing center stage with each other. Fortunately, everyone here clicks. This is one cohesive team, and they have a solid chemistry. There isn't a weak link among them, and their camaraderie gives the film a sturdy foundation.

Robert Downey Jr balances swagger and sincerity as Tony Starke, effectively essaying a man who doesn't play well with others but is forced to by his circumstances. Chris Evans continues his subtly clever portrayal of Steve Rogers, hinting at Rogers' sense of displacement in this modern world he doesn't understand - and where his old values may not be as prized as much. Evans also plays all of his character's old-fashioned earnestness and stoicism without having him appear too idealized or perfect - which is harder than you think. Scarlett Johansson turns in solid work as Natasha Romanov, especially in a scene where she plays a psychological game of cat and mouse with Loki in an effort to find out his secrets. Chris Hemsworth as Thor turns in a similar performance as Evans, one that combines confusion with conviction - since both Thor and Steve are from bygone eras, they share a sense of being "behind the times". Then there's newcomer Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye. Renner and Hawkeye more than hold their own against his co-stars and their characters. Finally, Tom Hiddleston as Loki makes for a refreshingly multi-faceted bad guy. His performance reminds me somewhat of Joaquin Phoenix and Commodus in GLADIATOR: a similar character who was trying to emerge from the shadow of his more celebrated kin - but in a deadly way.

As for the supporting cast, Sam Jackson is a suitably vivid Nick Fury, while Clark Gregg and the gorgeous Cobie Smulders are dynamic as Fury's fellow agents who do their best to help and protect the lead six. Gwyneth Paltrow also has nice cameo as Pepper Potts, Tony Starke's loyal lover. But Smulders as Maria Hill is the most compelling presence in the support group and thankfully gets a lot to do, and the film hints at a future relationship between her and Steve Rogers. Can't wait for the sequel. Chris Evans and Cobie Smulders will make one beautiful couple.

Director Joss Whedon strikes the perfect balance of humor, heart, and heroism in THE AVENGERS, making it a perfect summer ride. The movie so galvanizing, buoyant, and vivacious that I can't help but wonder if the upcoming THE DARK KNIGHT RISES may appear overly dour and angsty by comparison. We shall see. For now, know this: THE AVENGERS is the best superhero film since CAPTAIN AMERICA.

Go, Team! In closing, a tribute to THE AVENGERS:

Schedule Update...

Hello, folks.... Sorry for the delay in getting the first of our Summer reviews posted. Busy, busy, busy week. Too many social commitments and my ongoing dive instructor training intervened. It's all good though, because I will do my best to get the reviews for THE AVENGERS, FRENCH KISS, THE ROAD, and THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL by Sunday night. Even with a soccer party tomorrow for the UEFA Championship League Finals raging between Bayern vs Chelsea in the Allianz Stadium in Munich, I will still try to get those reviews posted. Go Deustchland, land of my pasty forefathers!



Please expect the following to post by Sunday night:

# 453 - THE AVENGERS

# 454 - FRENCH KISS

# 455 - THE ROAD

# 456 - THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL

And please expect the remainder of our May Reviews to post by the end of month:

# 457 - DARK SHADOWS

# 458 - THE DICTATOR

# 459 - MEN IN BLACK 3

# 460 - BATTLESHIP

# 461 - CHERNOBYL DIARIES

I am moving THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS into June, along with a few other "Oldies-But-Goodies" mixed in with our June new releases...

Have a great weekend, folks...

MAY MOVIE SCHEDULE...

Hello, folks... first of all, my apologies for not getting the last of the April reviews and the first of the Summer reviews posted as soon as we would have liked. With the MLS season heating up, and the Italian Serie A season winding to an explosive finish, it's been quite busy on the soccer blog. Even though the Serie A season officially ended today (with victories for Napoli, Lazio, and Udinese over Siena, Inter, and Catania, respectively), Juventus pretty much had the Scudetto (sorta the Italian version of the MLS Cup) in the bag - as they did 27 times before. Yes, folks, Juve did it for the 28th time. They were officially given the Scudetto last week - everything else was just a formality. Congrats also to AC Milan, Udinese, Lazio, and Napoli (Viva Napoli) for rounding out the Top Five. Love. It. But I promised a separation between soccer and movies, so that's all I'm saying about The Beautiful Game. On to the Beautiful Art... of Cinema.

Please find below our May Schedule. We'd initially wanted to list the whole summer line-up, but that might be too long. So we're breaking up the reviews, month by month until summer's end. Please note that we are also adding some Oldies-But-Goodies to the mix. See below:

# 453 - THE AVENGERS (AKA Sexiest. Party. Evah...)

# 454 - FRENCH KISS (AKA Meg Ryan And Kevin Kline Equals Delicious French Dessert)

# 456 - THE ROAD (AKA Philippine-Style Horror - Watch Out)

# 457 - THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL (AKA Old Coots In India - The Movie)

# 458 - DARK SHADOWS (AKA Johnny Depp Goes Weirdo Again)

# 459 - THE DICTATOR (AKA Sacha Baron Cohen Strikes Again)

# 460 - BATTLESHIP (AKA: Liam Neeson In Navy Whites - Enlist Now)

# 461 - MEN IN BLACK 3 (AKA: My Man Will Does His Snarky Sexy Thang Again - And I Likes)

# 462 - THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (AKA: Timothy Dalton = Brunette Daniel Craig)

















By the way, our last April review, THE RAVEN, will be incorporated into a future line-up...

Please expect the reviews for THE AVENGERS and FRENCH KISS to post soon. Thanks!

Summer Is Here....

Hello, all...

Just a quick post to kickstart our Summer Movie Season. With the posting of SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN, we are ready to start our reviews. Saw THE AVENGERS awhile back, but am only now getting around to posting the review tomorrow. Please expect the first of the Summer Movies to start trickling in...

Gotta dash, as the night is young. But for now, please checkout our Summer Movies (with one or two older ones) below...

Buona notte, peepz...