(Not exactly the best vacation in the French Alps, huh?)
CAST: Helene de Fouguerolles, Francis Renaud, Didi Diafat, Marie Sohna-Conde, Nicholas Briancon.
DIRECTOR: David Morley
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and ill-advised French Alps excursions straight ahead.
Ah, those pesky French… First, they’re born with innate poise and style that you can’t teach or learn. Second, they’re the second hottest nationality on Earth after the Italians. Third, they’ve recently become better at making American movies than Americans themselves.
What do I mean by that third part? Well, there was a time when French films were marked by the absolute lack of anything going on. You know? The kind of film filled with two hours of silence and people just glaring at one another? While smoking endless cigarettes? And occasionally swearing under their breath? Basically, it was considered un-French to have a movie with a kinetic kick that actually told a story.
That’s the French Film of the past. These days, the French movie is very much like your typical American movie - only much better. Recent years have given us French releases that look, sound, and feel like U.S. productions - only filled with French performers and a certain Gallic sensibility. We’ve had Hitchcockian thrillers (TELL NO ONE, ANTHONY ZIMMER, ANYTHING FOR HER), romantic comedies (HEARTBREAKER), horror films (HIGH TENSION, HIGH LANE, MARTYRS, THEM), and dramas (SUMMER HOURS).
Anyhow, all these films were marked by brisk plotlines, three-act structures, twisty developments, and a forthright tone. In other words, if it weren’t for all the French being spoken, and insanely hot French actors and actresses, you’d be forgiven for thinking they were American movies. The major difference is these French flicks were often far more engaging than their American parallels.
In fact, some of these new-style French films have been so dynamic that Hollywood studios have taken notice - and started creating American remakes. ANYTHING FOR HER became Russell Crowe’s THE NEXT THREE DAYS (review #156). ANTHONY ZIMMER turned into Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie’s THE TOURIST (review #211). Basically, what we have are Americans remaking French films that were inspired by American movies in the first place.
Got that? I know. Think about it too much, and you start to see double.
Now, the latest French-Flick-Acting-All-American to come down the pike is MUTANTS, which is basically France’s stab at the Running Zombie Genre - and latest attempt to show us Yanks that they can beat us at our own game. Clearly inspired by DAWN OF THE DEAD 2004 and the UK hit 28 DAYS LATER, MUTANTS is basically the Freedom-Fries version of those movies.
True to France’s “copy-the-formula-then-change-it-up” strategy, MUTANTS doesn’t even waste a minute of set-up or exposition. We basically get kicked right into the deep end of the zombie pool, with our heroes already on the run from some sort of zombie contagion. They are: (1) Sonia (Helene De Fougerolles), insanely hot medic; and (2) Marco (Francis Renaud), not-too-hot but still kind of cute ambulance driver.
As Sonia and Marco drive like crazy in their ambulance, we begin to piece together the shite that has gone down even before the opening credits have rolled. Evidently, the following has occurred: (1) some sort of virus has transformed most of France into homicidal, drooling cannibals; (2) Sonia is somehow immune to this bug; and (3) Marco and she have decided to try to head for a NATO base deep in the French Alps for safety. All in all, not the most promising road trip, right?
Unfortunately, Marco and Sonia’s plans to seek sanctuary at the mountain base go south, big-time, when the following lovely things occur: (1) the ambulance breaks down; and (2) Marco gets infected by a dying refugee. With no motor transport to take them deeper into the mountains, and with Marco now beginning his transformation into a sprinting pus-bag with a hankering for human flesh, our heroic couple have no choice but to hide out in some sort of abandoned hospital in the middle of the woods that looks more like a grungier version of the Overlook Hotel from THE SHINING.
Sonia manages to make brief contact with the NATO base nearby before the ambulance radio conks out. She’s instructed to wait for rescue. But will the military get there in time to treat Marco? Or will he turn into a zombie and attack his beloved Sonia? Or will his human instinct remain intact? Or will she be rescued first by other survivors that show up? Or are they all doomed anyway since the zombies have discovered their hiding place?
Find out for yourselves. All I can say is this: thank goodness a French zombie is just as butt-ugly as an American zombie. Otherwise, that’s just unfair…
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Saying it up front: if it weren’t for two things, MUTANTS would be just as average any American zombie flick. Those two things are: (1) the bleak, wintry mountain setting where the story unfolds; and (2) the promise - ultimately unfulfilled - of a THE FLY-style love story about a woman trying to stand by a man who is slowly changing into something grotesque and terrifying. How long can she stay loyal to him before she has to flee - or kill him?
The lead performances are strong, especially Helene de Fougorolles as Sonia. Francis Renaud is suitably touching and sympathetic as the infected Marco. The rest of the cast are just going through the motions, playing stock characters, which further prevents the film from rising from above average to good. In the end, this movie belongs to its central lovers. Too bad director David Morley and his screenwriters knuckled under and didn’t deliver on the initial promise of the central relationship. MUTANTS would’ve rated higher if it would have fully explored Marco’s transformation - and Sonia’s conflict about what she must do to spare him - and survive herself.
Still, enough of this tantalizing subplot remains to keep the film on solid ground. Add to that the bleak and ominous deserted hospital setting, and we’ve got a French riff on the increasingly tired Running Zombie Genre that, while not 100% original or fresh, at least diverts us with some novel touches and mournful atmosphere.
