(Hawtest. Lawyah. Evah.)
CAST: Chris Evans, Mark Kassen, Marshall Bell, Brett Cullen, Vinessa Shaw, Roxanne Sharp, Kate Burton.
DIRECTOR: Mark Kassen, Adam Kassen.
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one ssssssssssmmmmmooooooookkiiiiiin’ hawt ambulance-chaser - straight ahead…
It’s a damn good thing very few lawyers look like the lawyer hero of our next review, because the crime rate would go through the fucking roof, mark my words. You’d have women and gay dudes pulling all sorts of heinous shit - just for the privilege of being represented by the sizzlin’ piece of man-meat that is Mike Weiss. You see, Mike is a Houston legal eagle who is played by Chris Evans, who looks a lot like a Roman God (he is half-Italian, after all) fused with a goofy dork (he is half-Irish, after all). Hell, if I lived in Houston, there’s no limit to the Machiavellian crap I would pull just to end up as one of Mike’s clients - and just to have the privilege of conducting an, ahem, one-on-one interview with him.
Also, Mike is not your average, boring, goodie-goodie lawyer. For starters, he likes to: (1) snort loads of cocaine to boost himself for court appearances; (2) throw awesome house parties with baby crocodiles and iguanas crawling over the guests’ feet; (3) fuck chicks in his and his wife’s bed (baaaaaad boy); and my favorite: (4) get handjobs from his legal assistant in a parking lot. Hmmmmm… maybe I should just work at Mike’s law firm instead - I’d be on the right side of the law, and still get to, um, “milk the cow” even after the trial is over. Trust me, the mental image of Chris Evans getting a “Happy Ending” in a car is just what I need right now to warm my nuts after nearly freezing them off tonight at the Sounders/Jaguares De Chiapas friendly soccer match. Good thing we won - otherwise, I would’ve ripped my frozen balls off my body and thrown them at Sigi Schmidt.
But I digress. Anyhow, Mike and his more straight-laced (let’s face it: next to Mike, even the Devil is straight-laced) partner Mark Danziger (Mark Kassen) run a modest practice specializing in personal injury claims. Their usual parade of spurious, money-hungry clients is interrupted by a request from one Vicky Rogers (Vinessa Shaw) to meet with them. Vicky is a former nurse who is now suffering from AIDS after contracting HIV from an accidental needle stick in the ER, and our boys think she just wants more workman’s comp or something like that. Upon meeting Mike and Paul face-to-face, though, Vicky tells them that she doesn’t want more money from her former employers. She wants something else.
You see, in the aftermath of Vicky’s accidental needle stick, a family friend named Jeffrey Dancourt (Marshall Bell) engineered a slick new syringe that prevents accidental needle sticks and repeat usage - and therefore will significantly decrease the number of accidental infections of frontline healthcare workers like ER nurses and doctors. Makes sense, yes? Sounds great, right? Who wouldn’t want to use syringes that save lives? Well, for starters, the hospitals themselves. Turns out that Jeffrey’s new syringes are more expensive to manufacture and purchase than conventional (and unsafe) syringes. And, as they say, money talks… So much for the fucking Hippocratic Oath. More like the Hypocritic Oath.
Paul sympathizes with Vicky, but tells her they can’t take the case because she is already being compensated for her illness. It’s not within the scope of their firm to fight for the use of the new syringe. Mike, on the other hand, being somewhat of a genius in addition to a hottie, realizes that they can use the “Syringe Case” to make a name for themselves and hit the big time. Oh, and saving hundreds of thousands of lives is pretty cool, too. And before you know it, Mike has pretty much twisted Paul’s arm into representing Jeffrey - and fighting to get hospital and medical supply companies across the nation to carry his invention.
Unfortunately, Mike and Paul underestimate the power of Big Business. No sooner than word gets out about their new client, do things start to get supremely shitty for them. For starters, they have to face off against the country’s most powerful medical supply company - and its ferocious band of lawyers led by Nathaniel Price (Brett Cullen), who is as scumbaggy as his name suggests. Then, what starts out as stroke of good luck when a high-powered Senator (Kate Burton) decides to back Mike and Paul’s case, turns into a pain-in-the-ass when she tells Mike that she will only fight this cause if he drops out of it. You see, she can’t have a cokehead who gets handjobs in parked cars from his assistant to be associated with anything with her name on it. Obviously, this bitch has never had the pleasure of giving a hand job to a guy who looks like Chris Evans. I’m just saying…
So… will Mike and Paul be able to win this “David Vs. Goliath” battle? Or will Price and his band of legal sharks bury them? Will Jeffrey’s invention be embraced by the medical service community at large? Or will Price and the other powers that be continue to suppress its existence? Will the Senator be able to help change things? Will she force Mike to drop from the case? Or will she give him another chance by telling him to clean up, stop partying so hard, and resist the urge to ask for handjobs from his assistant? Will Mike be able to go straight? Or will he relapse, big time? Hard to say. One thing I know for sure: that legal assistant of Mike’s must have calluses on her right hand by now. Who needs that goofy looking Shake Weight thing when you can just milk some dude’s schlong. Just keeping it real.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: The tagline for PUNCTURE’s poster is “Sometimes, the brightest light comes from the darkest places”. It’s a perfect way to describe the film’s emotional core. It’s protagonist is far from the typical portrait of a hero as we know it. Mike Weiss is portrayed as a brash drug addict and lothario who can be a bit ruthless. However, these “anti-hero” traits are contradicted by some traditional hero qualities within Mike: compassion, courage, tenacity, passion, forcefulness, and conviction. In essence, Mike is the last person most people would expect to effect a powerful change - but he is ultimately the only person best equipped to do so. Hence, the light shining from a dark place.
Mike Weiss was a real-life Houston lawyer who, together with his partner, battled a powerful medical supply company to adopt the use of a “safety syringe” for frontline health care workers - and ultimately won. By most accounts, Weiss was an interesting and contradictory character, variously described as a “genius, visionary, friend, playboy, fool, warrior”. With such a complex character, you need an actor who can portray both the contradictions and flaws - and still retain audience interest and sympathy. In short, you need someone unique. With Chris Evans, PUNCTURE has the perfect lead. Evans perfectly embodies all of Weiss’ many sides - good, not-so-good, and the varying degrees in between. His range here is remarkable, going from cocky and sexy, to passionate and determined, to weepy and vulnerable, to calm and resigned, to cold and vicious, to kind and compassionate - and all over again. If PUNCTURE would’ve gotten a bit more attention during its release last fall, I’d be willing to bet that Chris Evans would’ve gotten some Best Actor nominations from the various award-giving groups. He’s that good, proving yet again he’s more than just a handsome face.
Co-director Mark Kassen is fine as Mike’s more cautious and level-headed partner Paul. He has an “Odd Couple” chemistry with Evans that anchors the film effectively. It’s important that we buy into Mike and Paul’s relationship, because it is the film’s emotional center. And it sets up an important plot twist at the very end. Suffice it to say, Mike grows in Paul’s eyes - and ultimately inspires him to do the right thing. Anyone who knows the facts around this real-life case knows how it ends - and what happens to Mike. It’s a testament as much to Evans and Kassen’s chemistry, as it is to Kassen and his brother Adam’s direction that the finale sneaks up on you and devastates as much as it does.
Brett Cullen, Vinessa Shaw, Kate Burton, and Marshall Bell are all solid in their important supporting roles. Cullen is the standout as the powerful medical company lawyer who seems almost amused that these two young whippersnappers are trying to face off against his formidable clients. Cullen manages to infuse some nuance and layers to Nathaniel Price, giving an almost-paternal vibe to his interactions with Mike. This sort of “sympathetic villain” is reminiscent of James Mason’s similar character in THE VERDICT. In short, the “baddie” is just a guy doing his job - just like the hero.
In the end, PUNCTURE is a surprisingly affecting film about the importance of making a stand - even if it ultimately means sacrificing a lot. In essence, it’s a Valentine to doing the right thing. Mike Weiss comes to believe this after starting out in a more self-interested light - and he ultimately inspires Paul Danziger to fight the good fight. Chris Evans’ performance is Oscar-worthy - and if there’s any justice in the Universe, he will get more roles like this that prove his unique appeal. And, hopefully, just as with Russell Crowe’s win for GLADIATOR, we will eventually hear: “And the Oscar for Best Actor goes to…. Chris Evans.”
I dedicate this review to the memory of Michael David Weiss: friend, lawyer, genius, visionary, playboy, and a hero. And Duran Duran’s “Come Undone" - the perfect song tribute to a troubled, unique, beautiful soul: "Who do you need, who do you love, when you come undone?"
