ONE MISSED CALL (2008 - HORROR / GHOST / ASIAN REMAKE) **1/2 out of ***** OR 5 out of 10
(That's one reason not to own a cell phone...)
CAST: Shannyn Sossamon, Edward Burns, Ana Maria Talancon, Azura Skye, Meagan Good, Johnny Lewis, Margaret Cho, Ariel Winter, Rhonda Griffis, Raegen Lamb, Ray Wise, Jason Beghe, Karen Beyer.
DIRECTOR: Eric Valette
(WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some really good examples of death-by-voicemail - straight ahead...)
IT'S LIKE THIS: Asians must think technology is evil or something. How else to explain the slew of horror flicks that came out of that part of the world in the late 1990s to early 2000s? First, we had the Japanese movie, RINGU, which was about a "cursed" videotape that doomed whoever watched it to dying within seven days. The only other videotape I can think of that can be similarly-deadly is a VHS copy of FORREST GUMP. How else to explain it's massive popularity despite really only being like TROPIC THUNDER's "Simple Jack", but with slightly better actors and substantially more tongue-in-cheek and painful overacting (hello, Tom Hanks).
But I digress. Following RINGU in the "Asians Are Scared As Hell Of Electronic Gadgets" cinematic menagerie from the turn of the millennium was KAIRO (also from Japan) which, this time, showed evil spirits pouring out of the Internet into our world to kill the living. I guess that's one scenario where it would be better to have faulty dial-up rather than high-speed or wireless internet, eh? After all, the ghosts can't kill you if your connection keeps going to shit. Just saying...
Then there was SHUTTER from Thailand, which was about a photographer and his girlfriend who begin to see "phantom images" in his pictures. Needless to say, this flick made Robin Williams' (rest his soul) creeper thriller, ONE HOUR PHOTO, look like FINDING NEMO. If SHUTTER was to be believed, then there are spirits all around us, just waiting for the opportunity to jump behind us when our pictures are taken - and give us bunny ears and horns.
RINGU, KAIRO, and SHUTTER were huge hits in Asia, and during the "Asian Horror Remake" fever that swept Hollywood in the early-to-mid 2000s, all these movies got "Americanized". RINGU was remade as THE RING, KAIRO turned into PULSE, and SHUTTER became SHITTER. Kidding. The American remake is also called SHUTTER - but wouldn't it have been funny if they had called it SHITTER instead?
Whatever. Anyhow, another Japanese horror film revolving around technology-gone-EXORCIST was CHAKUSHIN ARI, which was about a group of Japanese college friends who suddenly start getting voicemails from two days into the future, in which they can hear themselves, um, being killed. And two days later, without fail, sure enough they, er, get killed. You see now why screening your calls doesn't get you anywhere?
Anyhow, since CHAKUSHIN ARI was just as successful as RINGU, KAIRO, and SHUTTER, you just already know what came next, right? Yup: an American-friendly remake - and since the plot revolved around one missed call and a prophetically-deadly voicemail from the killer ghost, this re-do is called: WHY DO JAPANESE PEOPLE LOVE HELLO KITTY SO MUCH? Kidding again. It's actually called ONE MISSED CALL. Imagine that.
Our heroine is the foxy Beth Raymond (Shannyn Sossamon), a sensible, level-heaeded co-ed, whom we know is sensible and level-headed because she slouches around campus wearing baggy cardigans and drab cargo pants. But, come on: she looks like Shannyn Sossamon, that Filipina/Anglo/Hawaiian goddess, so you know that she must be seriously living it up on the down low. I mean look at her:
Not long after that, Leann gets a missed call from Shelley's phone - but it's dated two days.... into the future. And the accompanying voicemail sounds like Leann - being roasted alive. How's that for a reason to terminate your cell service? And sure enough, two days into the future, Leann gets killed in a fairly hilarious freak accident on some railway tracks, with Beth looking on in horror. Or suppressed glee. I'm not sure. We were drunk when we watched this movie.
Then their token boy-toy buddy, Brian Sousa (Johnny Lewis), discovers he got a missed call from Leann - from two days into the future. And when he plays the voicemail, he hears himself screaming like someone is shoving a red-hot drill bit up his ass. Sure enough, two days later, well, you get the idea...
And not long after Brian's dies in a very, very horrible way, that slut Taylor gets a missed call from him - from two days into the future. And in the voicemail, she can be heard moaning and groaning like Godzilla himself is doing her. And once again, the clock starts ticking...
What the hell is going on with all the sinister missed calls from the future? And why do the voicemails seem to be recordings of the recipients dying? How will Taylor escape the same fates that befell Shelley, Leann, and Brian? What happens when a sleazy TV producer (Ray Wise) from a cheesy paranormal show wants to "exorcise" her on live television when the time of her "death" comes? Will he succeed? Or is Taylor a fool to trust him? Can Beth help her somehow? Can the hunky Detective Jack Andrews (Edward Burns), whose own sister was the first victim even before Shelley, help them both? And what happens when the inevitable "one missed call" eventually flashes on Beth's own phone - and she hears the "Voicemail Of Doom?" Is she next?
Whatever happens, I bet these folks are wishing they'd opted for a CALL BLOCKING feature on their flip phones. Take that, you fucking ghost...
BUT SERIOUSLY: Earlier we talked about the how the success of some Asian Horror Films at the turn of the century kickstarted a remake fever that saw those movies turned into (mostly) effective American versions. It's easy to see why Hollywood would be interested in these films from the other side of the Pacific Ocean. Unlike a lot of American horror films, they are long on atmosphere and dread - with a creepiness that gets under your skin. THE RING and THE GRUDGE, stemming from RINGU and JU-ON, were the most successful of the American versions. Unfortunately, as the 2000s wore on, the reception to these remakes became less and less fervent.
THE RING 2, THE GRUDGE 2, PULSE, and SHUTTER racked up less and less at the box-office. These films weren't terrible or bad by any means. It's just that the nature of film audiences is such that once folks become familiar with a formula, they get bored and need it tweaked or reinvigorated to regain interest. Witness the Slasher Genre that HALLOWEEN started in 1978 and the Post-Modern Slasher Sub-Genre that SCREAM kicked off in 1996: after some successful subsequent entries in their wakes, audiences attendance gradually declined until both sub-genres began to sputter. In SCREAM's case, however, the entire Horror Genre was revitalized because of it, and other Sub-Genres began to bloom as the Post-Modern Slasher Sub-Genre began to wane. Nevertheless, it became clear that audiences were getting tired of "more of the same" from their slasher movies.
Same with the Asian Horror Remake Sub-Genre: after THE RING and THE GRUDGE, audiences wanted the formula tweaked. Unfortunately, that did't happen. The movies they got afterwards were competent and even well-made, but they either didn't bring anything new to the table or didn't do it in a way that was terribly compelling. In our review for the American version of SHUTTER (review # 206), we noted that it was actually a decent flick, but because it was released at the tail end of the craze, it felt too familiar, routine, and almost tired in many places. Sadly, that is also the case of our latest review, ONE MISSED CALL - which recalls too many of THE RING's elements without giving them its own spin.
Like SHUTTER, this remake was released in 2008, way after THE RING, THE GRUDGE, and their sequels came out. By then, the tropes those early hits popularized were no longer fresh. As a result, both SHUTTER and ONE MISSED CALL seems to hit all the expected story beats of the "vengeful-ghosts-attacking-the-living-through-technology" template in a rather mechanical way. The interesting thing is, had these films been released at the beginning of the Asian Horror Remake Craze, they might have been received better.
In ONE MISSED CALL's case, however, the central premise of a mysterious "missed call" and "ghost voicemail" is actually quite good - and still could've succeeded despite its overall familiarity. Unfortunately, there is very little sense of urgency to how the story plays out. I'm not sure if director Eric Valette was trying to go for a low-key, slow-burn approach and went too far, but the result is a bit too sedate and restrained - even for Asian Horror Film Remakes that value the gradual build-up of atmosphere. Some critics have mentioned that leads Shannyn Sossamon and Edward Burns are a little too subdued in their roles, but we tend to think it's really the rather flat, workman-like direction that really hampers ONE MISSED CALL.
In fact, the only reason this movie remains watchable and garners a passing grade of average (**1/2 out of ***** OR 5 out of 10) is because Sossamon and Burns make for engaging protagonists. Yes, Sossamon is a bit cool and distant, but that's the character she plays: Beth Raymond is a cerebral, thoughtful psychology major who keeps her cards close to her chest - but goes into action when needed. I totally got her. As far as Burns' character, Jack Andrews probably should have been a little more fiery - to contrast with the more methodical Beth - but that is really more the shortcoming of the script rather than the actor. Point is, Burns and, especially, Sossamon are fine. They just worked with what they were given.
ONE MISSED CALL might have also rated a bit above average, if it weren't for an ending that, like most of the film, had real potential but somehow falls flat. There's just something tone-deaf about how Valette pulls it off. Or rather, doesn't pull it off. I can't help but think if he would've brought more energy to his direction, this would have been a solidly-good film. The skeleton of a great ghost story is there - it's just not fleshed out or executed adequately. Perhaps even a different director should have been brought in to helm it. I can't help but think that John Carpenter (HALLOWEEN, THE FOG, PRINCE OF DARKNESS) would have nailed this film and turned it into a classic.
In the end, though, ONE MISSED CALL is just sporadically effective and ultimately disappointing. Fortunately, Shannyn Sossamon and Edward Burns hold it together and keep it relatively intact - at least until the ending. But, again, that's more the script's fault than theirs.
