(Open season on... the Greek Gods)
CAST: Sam Worthington, Rosamund Pike, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Edgar Ramirez, Toby Kebbell, Bill Nighy, Lilly James.
DIRECTOR: Jonathan Liebesman
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one really epic battle between gods and, uh, supergods - straight ahead.
IT'S LIKE THIS: Ah, ancient Greece.... what I wouldn't give to have been around at that time. If this movie and its predecessor from a couple of years ago (CLASH OF THE TITANS) are any kind of indicators, then Greece B.C. was one rockin' place. It's a fact that, after the Italians, Norwegians, and French, the Greeks are the next hottest nationality running around. And EVERYONE wore skirts back then - even the guys. Meaning that the chance of catching a glimpse of some Greek kielbasa whenever the fellas sat down was very good, yo! Sorry, I've got a serious case of Spring Fever. Please excuse me.
Anyhow, WRATH OF THE TITANS continues the tale of Perseus (Sam Worthington) that CLASH OF THE TITANS began. If you'll recall, in the last film Perseus embarked on a quest to save Princess Andromeda by hacking off Medusa's head, and in the process discovered that his real father is none other than Zeus, El Primo Deity, himself - who then got to yell the words that I like to scream whenever I get seriously freaky: "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!" Eventually, CLASH ended with peace restored (sort of) between the gods and the mortals.
Unfortunately, if there's anything you can count on is that the gods are worse than mortals when it comes to squabbling and in-fighting. Which is why, in WRATH, we open with Hades (Ralph Fiennes), god of Hell, and Ares (Edgar Ramirez), god of Whoop-Ass, conspiring to free Cronos (A Lot of CGI), Big Daddy of the gods - which will ensure that Zeus will get dethroned post-haste. Just like in CLASH, Perseus gets pulled into the fray by Papa Zeus, and must assist him in putting a kibosh on Hades and Ares' little Power Play.
Perseus hooks up with Andromeda (Rosamund Pike), the hot royal chick he rescued from the Kraken in the previous movie. Only now she's no longer the trembling Girly Girl she was before, and is now (are you ready for this?) commanding the entire Greek Army. Wow... all that in the span of a couple of years? Amazing. Maybe if I apply myself I could be running Vogue magazine by this time next year. Just call me "The Devil Wears Puma". But I digress. Anyhow, before you know it, Zeus gets kidnapped by Ares and Hades and gets held hostage (so serious) in Tartarus, which is sort of like the Greek Mythology version of the I-5 freeway at rush hour. AKA Hell.
By the way, in case your wondering how the Zeus, The Powerful Chief, could get his ass abducted by his underlings, then let me just explain that everyone has apparently stopped praying to the gods - which apparently weakens their power. Making Zeus vulnerable to a coup. Yes, sir. In addition to democracy, philosophy, art, and hot guy-on-guy action, it appears that the Greeks also invented Atheism. My, they were innovative and ahead of their time, weren't they? Just like that, Perseus, Andromeda, and a bunch of other crackheads find themselves beating a path to Tartarus to save Zeus - and mankind. Dun-da-dun-DUN!
So... will Percy, Andy, and co. succeed in vanquishing Hades and Ares? Or will the dastardly duo succeed in killing Zeus and freeing Cronos? What happens when our heroes discover that the entrance to Tartarus is in the middle of a hella-scary labyrinth with a million doors - but only one that will lead them to their destination? Will they get lost? Will the monstrous Minotaur turn their asses in lunchmeat? Will the World end? Will there be a third movie called PECS OF THE TITANS?
If so, sign me up. I will sleep on the sidewalk for that one.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: The original CLASH OF THE TITANS from 1981 is one of my favorite films. The effects are quite dated by now, but it retains a simple charm and appeal that is largely anesthetized by the slick and loud 2010 remake. CLASH OF THE TITANS 2010 was a decent remake of the 1981 film but it is not as good as the original. The 1981 film never saw a sequel, so WRATH OF THE TITANS doesn't have an original to be compared to - just its predecessor from two years ago.
WRATH OF THE TITANS isn't quite as good as CLASH OF THE TITANS. It's still got a solid cast, though. While Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, and Ralph Fiennes reprise their roles with the same gravity and confidence as before, we have interesting newcomers in the forms of Bill Nighy, Edgar Ramirez, Danny Huston, Toby Kebbell, and Rosamund Pike (taking over the role of Andromeda from Alexa Davalos). Everyone holds their own and there are no weak links in the cast. Pike, in particular, puts her own stamp on the role of Andromeda and fills out the role with her presence. In fact, the one thing that WRATH does better than CLASH is "upgrade" the character of Andromeda into a female warrior who is just as fearless as the men around her. It's a welcome change from the fretting princess of the previous film.
If WRATH has any kind of flaw it lies in the fact that adventure is just not as exciting as the previous one. There are a couple of glimmers of promise in the Cyclops scene and the setpiece in the labyrinth, but these aren't fully exploited and are over before you know it. Just like the climactic battle against Cronos. There is a rushed feeling to the proceedings that wasn't present in the previous adventures. The level of excitement is sufficient to keep this an average moviegoing experience, but it is just not as compelling as its predecessor or CLASH 1981.
In the end, WRATH OF THE TITANS stays on the average mark because of its rather perfunctory action sequences. It could've easily sunk lower, though, were it not for its stellar cast. They imbue their roles with enough conviction and gravity to keep us hooked somewhat. Given how often sequels disappoint, we should've known.
