GODZILLA (2014 - ACTION / THRILLER / SCI-FI) *** out of ***** or 6 out of 10.
( Hey, G, there's a couple of, um, MUTOs acting a fool out in Frisco - just letting you know...)
CAST:
Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Elizabeth Olsen, Bryan Cranston, Ken Watanabe,
Sally Ha wkins, Juliette Binoche, David
Straithairn, Richard T. Jones, Godzilla.
DIRECTOR:
Gareth Edwards
WARNING:
Some SPOILERS and some damn good reasons to view all Earthquakes with
suspicion - straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS:
You know that saying, "As American as apple pie"? Well, if you were looking for a Japanese
version, something like "As Japanese as a rompin-stompin Godzilla"
wouldn't be too farfetched. In fact, our
lovable overgrown lizard probably rivals sushi, anime, and Nintendo for the
honor of TOP SIGIFICANT ACHIEVEMENT in the The Land of the Rising Sun. The Japanese sure do love Godzilla, if the
numerous movies about him on that side of the Pacific seem to indicate.
But what about Americans? Well, let's just say that we are not as
unconditional in our love for the big guy as our Japanese cousins. How else to explain the lukewarm reception to
GODZILLA 1998, which was marketed as if its blockbuster status was a foregone
conclusion? Needless to say, it
underperformed at the box office that summer, proving that we Yanks aren't as
easily dazzled as Godzilla's native audience.
And now we're back on the same stage with
GODZILLA 2014. Is it as lame as GODZILLA
1998? Well, for starters, it doesn't
have Matthew Broderick in it playing hero, so that's already a point in its
favor. Don't get me wrong: I love Matty
B. since he basically gave his cutie-pie face to the iconic Ferris Bueller, but
a monster movie hero, he is most assuredly not.
Of course, to be compeletely fair, the guy who takes his place in this
outing isn't exactly any great shakes, either.
More on that later.
For now, all you have to know about the
"plot" of the new flick is this:
a massive earthquake in the Philippines reawakens something under the
ground that begins burrowing its way up to a Japanese nuclear plant, where it,
I guess, gets caught and is impounded by a bunch of scientists. Eventually, this thing - which looks like a
giant moth fused with a really mean drunk - gets loose and lays waste to most
of mainland Japan. It then makes it way
across the Pacific to Honolulu, where it seriously pisses in Hawaii's tourism
bowl.
Oh, and then - proving the theory that everyone
has a soulmate out there - the Giant
Moth/Mean Drunk Creature, um, senses another Giant Moth/Mean Drunk
Creature hiding out in the Nevada desert
(don't even ask). The two then begin to
move across entire oceans and states towards each other, destroying everything in their path. Like the Ultimate Booty Call That Will Not Be
Denied.
Oh, and I should point out that the American
major (David Straithairn) in charge of the the military response to the
creature, has dubbed it a, um, M.U.T.O.
Also known as Massive Unknown Terrestrial Organism. This guy deserves an Oscar for barking lines
like "The MUTOs are coming!" and "the MUTOs are going to
mate!" and "Fire all the weapons at the MUTO!" without cheesing
up and pissing himself with laughter.
Let's face it, folks: it's not exactly the most dignified acronym. Maybe it sounds less ridiculous in Japanese.
Anyhow, some of the folks caught up in all this
mayhem: (1) Ford Brody (Aaron
Taylor-Johnson), stoic-to-the-point-of-plywood marine lieutenant who makes one
pine for Matthew Broderick; (2) Elle Brody (Elizabeth Olsen);
perky-to-the-point-of-brain-damage wife of Ford who seriously strains credulity
as a nurse; (3) Dr. Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston), crazy-to-the-point-of-sexy
doctor father of Ford who obviously didn't pass on the "charisma gene"
to his son; (4) Dr. Ishiro Serizawa (Ken Watanabe),
crazy-to-the-point-of-crazier Japanese expert on monsters who clearly has seen
one too many Godzilla flicks; (5) Dr. Vivienne Graham (Sally Hawkins),
mellow-to-the-point of useless British scientist who, well, I'm not exactly
sure what the fuck she brings to the table here; (6) Dr. Sandra Brody (Juliette Binoche), gorgeous-to-the-point-of-SCHWING! wife of Joe and mother of Ford who, sadly, ain't around for too long (if you know what I mean); and of course: (6) our
aforementioned MUTO-spouting American general (the aforementioned David Straithairn).
You're probably are wondering where the hell
Godzilla is in all of this. I mean,
considering the movie is only named, you know, GODZILLA. Well our big bad lizard finally shows up at
the halfway point of the movie, understandably upset that he was benched for
the first hour of his own fucking showcase - and even more pissed off when he
realizes a couple of MUTOs have stolen center stage. I don't have to tell you that a smackdown of
epic proportions eventually ensues - right in the middle of San Francisco,
where some seriously over-priced real estate gets bashed into shit by the not-so-friendly
threesome. It's wonderful.
So... who will win the battle between Godzilla
and the horny MUTOs? Will San Francisco
be reduced to Third-World nation status?
Who will save the day? Ford? Elle?
Dr. Joe? Dr. Ishiro? Dr. Vivienne?
Matthew Broderick? Or will it be
- GASP! - will it be Godzilla himself?!!
How will this all end?
Hopefully, with a bunch of Japanese people
running down the street, looking over their shoulders and screaming
"GOJIRA!!!! GOJIRA!!!
GOJIRA!!!"
BUT SERIOUSLY:
Quite frankly, the last GODZILLA film before Gareth Edwards' version
this year left a lot to be desired.
While there was nothing truly bad about it, per se, it committed a sin
that is sometimes almost as bad: it was uncompelling and bland, overall. For a monster movie, it was remarkably
lacking in threat and menace. Its only
saving grace was the likable human presence of Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno,
Hank Azaria, and Maria Pitillo.
Unfortunately, these engaging performers seemed to be in search of a
better showcase.
With GODZILLA 2014, we have somewhat of a reverse
scenario: it is a monster movie full of
dread, atmosphere, and moody thrills - but it is weakened considerably by lack
of a true human anchor. Director Gareth
Edwards also helmed the wonderful MONSTERS, which skillfully blended humanity
with the threat posed by otherworldly creatures trespassing on Earth - all on a
less-than-shoestring budget. When we
heard that Edwards had been chosen to direct the latest GODZILLA remake because
of his work on MONSTERS, we were very happy indeed. If he was able to work wonders with a
micro-budget, imagine what he might be able to do with a very sizable one?
Unfortunately, GODZILLA 2014 is only partially
successful. While Edwards bring the same
graceful menace (something GODZILLA 1998 sorely lacked) to the proceedings, he
is unfortunately saddled with a script that makes some ill-advised decisions
concerning its characters. Specifically,
all the potentially-interesting characters are sidelined or killed off
early. Veteran actors like Bryan Cranston
and Juliette Binoche get precious little screen time before their characters of
Drs. Joe and Sandra Brody are axed.
Meanwhile, Ken Watanabe and Sally Hawkins's characters of Drs. Serizawa and Graham should've been the leads,
but instead are relegated to the back burner and only brought forward for the
occasional thankless exposition scene.
In the lead roles, we instead get two of the
blandest, faceless characters to ever grace a big-budget monster movie - a
genre already known to be lacking in vivid, distinctive characters. I can understand why the writers of GODZILLA
2014 chose to use two younger, working-class characters as its leads instead of
older, brainy scientists: to make them more relatable. This is a sound idea, and it certainly
worked with MONSTERS as we followed its scrappy photojournalist and adrift
heiress protagonists through a war-and-creature-torn Mexico.
However, herein lies the problem with a
big-budget film: unlike with a lower-budgeted movie, there is considerable
pressure to ramp up the action and mayhem - at the expense of character
development and relationship-building.
What made MONSTERS so engaging and unforgettable is the bond that slowly
developed between its leads - which paid off poignantly at the end. With GODZILLA 2014, we don't have the same
emotional fulcrum, not even close. Aaron
Taylor-Johnson is robotic as Ford Brody, and he overplays the role's macho
"stoicism." There is never a
sense of him being imperiled, and he comes across too often as an "action
hero" rather than a human being trying survive. As for Elizabeth Olsen as Ford's wife, Elle,
whom he tries to reach in San Francisco, she barely gets enough screen time to
even register as a full character.
Ultimately, they are just not strong enough of an emotional center for
this large cinematic canvas.
It also doesn't help that Taylor-Johnson and
Olsen have screen presences that are not strong enough to withstand the
enormous scope of this movie. Too often,
they get lost in the rubble and mayhem.
Better to have focused on Cranston and Binoche's characters. In fact, when we found out that Binoche's
role was essentially a glorified cameo, and Taylor-Johnson and Olsen were the
actual leads, we began to lose a little interest in this film. Sure enough, the departure of Cranston and
Binoche very early on, as well as the sidelining of Watanabe and Hawkins'
characters, and the emphasis on the wan Taylor-Johnson and Olsen as the leads,
severely hampers the story.
Ultimately, GODZILLA 2014 is saved by Godzilla
himself. Compared to the scrawnier
version in GODZILLA 1998, this monster is refreshingly robust and stocky -
giving the creature a pugnacious determination that is almost endearing. While some have complained that GODZILLA 2014
is really not about Godzilla, but rather the two MUTOs he ends up battling, we
have no problem with the tweaking of the storyline to make Godzilla a good
guy. Having the big lizard be on the
side of the humans gives this movie the emotional punch it sorely needs. The sight of Godzilla swimming just under
the surface of the Pacific Ocean, with aircraft carriers escorting him above,
is a great one. The true sign, however,
of audience empathy for Godzilla comes in the battle scenes against the MUTOs
in San Francisco: several times, the
audience clapped and cheered when Godzilla gained the upper-hand against his
two adversaries. Great stuff. So is the final shot of a triumphant Godzilla in San Francisco Bay.
In the end, however, even with its appealingly-revamped title creature, GODZILLA 2014 falls short of
being a solidly good movie because of its bland leads. With the talented Gareth Edwards at the helm,
this movie has some real atmosphere and chills - but a weak human anchor. If only the script had been rewritten to
either minimize or completely eliminate the characters of Ford and Elle, and
Joe and Sandra (and Ishiro and Vivienne) turned into the leads, this movie
could've possibly been the classic we were waiting for. Instead, it is Summer 2014's greatest
disappointment.
