(Welcome to Cougartown…)
CAST: Andie MacDowell, Kenny Doughty, Imelda Staunton, Anna Chancellor, Bill Paterson, Josh Cole, Joe Roberts.
DIRECTOR: John McKay
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and surprisingly compelling May-December romances straight ahead…
“When I saw you, I fell in love. And you smiled because you knew…”
- Arrigo Boito, famous Italian poet
In my review for GROWN-UPS (review # 22), I wrote that certain films are not done any favors by their trailers. In fact, if you were to go by the trailers for GROWN-UPS, you’d think you were in store for another sub-Judd Apatow rip-off involving developmentally-disabled dipshits. While GROWN-UPS does center on five men behaving like boys during a reunion, it is also so much more than that - something the trailers conveniently skip. I suppose trying to market GROWN-UPS as a sweet, borderline-mature comedy about the importance of friends, family, and - yes - water parks would scare off the Judd Apatow demographic. And you know it isn’t a Judd Apatow movie because there isn’t a single marijuana joint in sight. GROWN-UPS is more evolved than that and actually lives up to its title.
Same goes for the 2001 Andie MacDowell romantic drama, CRUSH. If you go by the trailers and poster (see above), you’d be forgiven for thinking that it’s yet another entry in the “Sistahs Doing It For Themselves” genre that SEX AND THE CITY popularized. Showing stars MacDowell, Imelda Staunton, and Anna Chancellor cavort around rural England with apparently nothing more on their minds that devouring anything with a penis in a ten-mile radius, the trailers paint CRUSH to be anything other than what it ultimately turns out to be.
And what CRUSH turns out to be is an exquisite love story about a shy school headmistress pushing 40, Kate Scales (MacDowell), who runs into a former student, Jed Willis (Kenny Doughty), and almost immediately begins an affair with him - despite the gap of almost fifteen years between them. CRUSH chronicles the attempts of Kate and Jed to build a real relationship, amidst the growing disapproval of her best pals, Janine (Imelda Staunton) and Molly (Anna Chancellor), as well as the local community at large.
Try gleaning all that from the frighteningly giddy trailer above. You’d have to be psychic to intuit that behind the bubble-gum advertisements lies a surprisingly affecting May-December romance.
Our story begins in a lovely rural English village where transplanted yankee Kate works as the headmistress (principal, to us Americans) at the local school. We first meet Kate berating a student for smoking. Then, not even a second after the students practically runs crying from her office, Kate snatches up those smokes and begins puffing away herself. This is our first sign that Kate is seriously needing her world rocked.
Kate’s closest buddies are: (1) Janine, the local Chief of Police who is surprisingly sweet and gentle and not at all the ballbuster you’d expect, which would be (2) Molly, the predatory local doctor who has scorched through three marriages and is on the prowl for Poor Bastard # 4. These two lovely ladies are Kate’s sisters-in-arms, and all three of them gather every week to slam back gin tonics and trade sob stories about their love lives - or lack of them.
Sorry, but I have a hard time believing that a woman who looks like a L’Oreal spokesmodel would have a hard time bagging a guy. In reality, Kate would have them lined up at the door. It also helps that Kate is played by Andie MacDowell, who is actually L’Oreal’s spokesmodel. And looking like that, she’s sure to have some, ahem, sausage in her life very soon.
Sure enough, while attending the funeral of an acquaintance, Kate finds herself moved by the soulful playing of the, um, organist. She doesn’t get a good look at him because of the crowd, but his music moves her to the point of tears. I wish I could say that she was sad over her acquaintance’s passing, but nay - it’s the music that makes her bawl.
Later, Kate inquires about the, uh, organist, and is introduced by the reverend to the man who rocked Kate’s world with his music. Actually, make that young man. He is Jed Willis (Kenny Doughty), a smoldering hunk with green-brown eyes who epitomizes “tall, dark, and handsome.” And he’s about fifteen years younger than Kate, which would put him at the tender age of, oh, twenty-five.
But what is age when the chemistry is right? And, trust me, the chemistry is absolutely right between these two. In fact, I bet if you tossed a hymn book into the space between them, it would explode into flames. Sizzzzzzzzzleee…. Anyhow, all Jed has to do is point those green-brown eyes and that dazzling smile squarely on Kate’s face - and she’s pretty much toast in his hands. Her heart is no longer hers, folks. And he knows it.
Or as the famous Italian poet Arrigo Boito once wrote: “When I saw you, I fell in love. And you smiled because you knew…” He could’ve been writing about Kate meeting Jed.
Next thing you know, Kate and Jed have run off to the cemetery next door - and are doing the “rumpy-pumpy” on a tombstone. Afterwards, Kate wanders about in a daze - as any pushing-40 person would do after getting relentlessly pounded by a 25-year old. Unfortunately, she makes the colossal mistake of sharing this tidbit with Molly and Janine, who act as if Kate just told them she sold crack to a bunch of fifth-graders.
Now, folks, here’s the difference between men and women. If a 40-year old dude banged a 25-year old chick and told his buds, they would pretty much build a shrine to him and take copious notes on how they could do the same. On the other hand, if a pushing-40 chick like Kate who looks like a L’Oreal model bangs a 25-year old hottie who is the textbook definition of “tall, dark, and handsome” and tells her girlfriends about it, she get the “tsk, tsk” treatment and a slap on the wrist.
Kate, my dear… take it from someone who knows the “Down Low” very well: keep your orgasms to yourself. Let them wonder why you’re smiling so much.
At any rate, Kate and Jed soon meet up again. For their second fuck session, they fog up the insides of her car and nearly bust the windows with their cries of ecstasy and swinging limbs. Afterwards, Kate does the “woman” bit and asks Jed if they are in a “thing” now. To which our stud-puppy replies (and I’m quoting): “Once is an accident. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a thing.”
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that Kate slides ‘em knickers right off again and Jed dives in there like he’s Indiana Jones raiding the Lost Arse. So I guess it’s official now: Jed and Kate are now officially sailing on the HMS May-December.
But is it going to be smooth sailing? Can a nearly-40 woman and 25-year-old stud puppy really have a true relationship in a small town that just loves to gossip over the smallest thing? And what about Janine and Molly? Will they meddle out of genuine concern? Or are they just jealous that they don’t have a 25-year old of their own to milk on a thrice-daily basis? Will they throw obstacles in Kate and Jed’s path? Don’t our lovers have enough to deal with? What’s wrong anyway with having a Sugar Mommy or a Boy-Toy?
What, I ask you?! What!?!? WHAT!?!?
I need a drink. A really strong one…
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Watching CRUSH is like pulling on a tall glass of iced lemonade: it’s a little tart, a little sweet, completely refreshing, and is exquisite to look at. It is two things at once: (1) an examination of female friendships; and (2) a tender account of an unconventional romance. And it succeeds beautifully as both.
While there are quite a few critics who rate CRUSH fairly high (as I did), there are also just as many who don’t think favorably of it. While I respect everyone’s opinion, I have to wonder how anyone can not see this film for the wonderful gem that it is. I do have my suspicions, though; a couple of negative reviews that I read highlighted the fact that the film abruptly changes tone about two-thirds of the way in, and these critics felt it never really regains the warmth it built up in the first two acts. I agree that the plot twist that occurs at the start of the third act is extremely devastating, but I disagree that it weakens CRUSH. If anything, I think it actually strengthens it and makes the story resonate all that much more. I will not spoil anything for you. Suffice it to say that this plot twist really drives home the lesson that life, and love, are fleeting gifts that we should never - ever - take for granted.
CRUSH is a multi-layered film. On the surface it is a chronicle of the lives of three successful women who are at a point where they ostensibly have everything they need - but are still missing something: a meaningful relationship with a significant other. This is evidenced by the little get-togethers they have every week, where they exchange their latest “man stories.” These scenes are tartly humorous, and the three leading ladies have a great dynamic that make them believable as friends.
Andie MacDowell is, without a doubt, one of the top five most beautiful women I have ever seen. If L’Oreal is smart, they will continue to use her as a model. As an actress, she hasn’t always been quite as effective. She certainly delivered strongly in SEX, LIES, AND VIDEOTAPE. But while she was okay in FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL, you ultimately couldn’t understand why Hugh Grant’s character would be so enamored by her. This was mainly due to MacDowell playing the role as little too reserved and subdued, when it should’ve been played more passionate and energetic. This was the same problem that plagued her performance in GREEN CARD.
In CRUSH, however, MacDowell is perfection. Her cool, distant beauty is well-suited to the role of Kate Scales, a woman who has pretty much closed the door on love and seems to be fine with that. As she tells her friends in one scene, “I don’t know if I’ve been single for so long because I’ve been unlucky - or secretly I like it that way.” Kate is a very likable mix of down-to-earth sweetness and slightly ethereal aloofness, but MacDowell never lets her become opaque. She’s always fathomable and transparent, and we’re with her every step of the way as she embarks on her unexpected adventure with Jed. Kate’s exhilaration, uncertainty, trepidation, and, finally, conviction that she truly loves this guy are all vividly played by MacDowell. She engages us emotionally in Kate’s odyssey, and we surrender ourselves willingly. It could very well be the best performance of Andie MacDowell’s career.
As Kate’s best pals who may or may not have her best interests at heart, Imelda Staunton and Anna Chancellor are equally terrific. Staunton makes Janine into a very intriguing character: a woman in a formidable position of authority (police chief) who is sweeter than Grandma moses. Or “PC Empathy” as Molly derisively calls her. It’s this empathetic quality that really humanizes Janine and makes her see both sides of the story. We also sense that Janine doesn’t really object to Kate’s romance with Jed, but is more intimidated by Molly’s vehement reaction to it. In the end, all Janine cares about is Kate’s happiness, and Staunton effectively puts forth the character’s great decency.
Speaking of Molly, Anna Chancellor has the showiest role in CRUSH - and she runs with it. Smart, sassy, with a formidable wit capable of leveling anyone in its path, Molly is clearly the ringleader of the three women and used to bossing Kate and Janine around. But the role is also very tricky, as Chancellor has to make Molly intimidating but not so much so that she scares off the audience completely. She manages this by emphasizing Molly’s delightfully sardonic wit and brazen confidence. While we may not always sympathize with Molly, especially when she’s meddling in Kate and Jed’s relationship, we are always engaged in her antics, however questionable. Chancellor suffuses the character with acid charm that keeps us, if not on her side, then at least concerned for her.
As I mentioned above, CRUSH is a story with two layers. The first and most obvious one is the friendship between Kate, Molly, and Janine. The second and most heartfelt one is the romance that blooms without warning between Kate and Jed. Without it, CRUSH would’ve been emotionally hollow. This romance feeds into the friendship plot thread, and it needs to work if the whole movie is to remain cohesive. Cast the wrong actor as Jed, and everything could come crashing down. After all, if we don’t believe that what Kate feels for Jed is more than just lust, or a “crush” as Molly puts it, then the romance wouldn’t work.
Fortunately, writer/director John McKay made the right decision in casting Kenny Doughty. Darkly handsome, with sensitive eyes and a smile that always hints at some hidden mischief, Doughty is the perfect actor to bring Jed Willis to life. As written, Jed is a young man who is still finding his way through the world and looking for his own niche. While he is certainly mature and sensitive in some respects, which makes his attraction to the worldly Kate understandable, part of him is most definitely still developing. McKay wisely doesn’t idealize Jed or turn him into an unbelievably evolved being at the young age of twenty-five. Instead, we get a young man who is both wise beyond his years, but also still trying to get a handle on certain things. In other words, a normal twenty-five year old. Doughty vividly captures all of Jed’s various shadings: cocky, but sweet; lustful, but also loving; wise, but sometimes immature; gentle, but also surprisingly stubborn; simple, but unexpectedly complex. In short, we understand completely why Kate would find herself falling for him. And him for her.
As with any very good romance, the whole is enlivened and enriched by the beauty of its individual scenes. Some gems to look out for: (1) Jed and Kate alone in the church, demonstrating to her how he makes people cry with his music; (2) Kate freaking out when she (mistakenly) assumes that her faculty board knows about her affair with Jed; (3) Kate going off on a mini-vacation to Paris for the weekend with Molly and Janine, then rushing back to England because the time apart makes her realize just how much she loves Jed; (4) Kate closing the school impulsively so that the kids can enjoy a beautiful day - and so that she and Jed can go running in the fields; (5) Jed drunkenly confessing his love to Kate in front of a stunned dinner party; and (6) Jed surprising her with a “Fourth of July” serenade to honor her American roots.
All these scenes play out in a way that is both tender and quirky, and is very much in keeping with the offbeat, romantic tone of CRUSH. I must emphasize again that this tone changes two-thirds of a way into the film, and like a lot of other critics, you may find yourself unable to get back on the track. Trust me - you should. You won’t regret it. it’s all part of what makes CRUSH an unforgettable movie.
What CRUSH ultimately tells us with a moving eloquence and passion, is that the only thing predictable about life and love is their unpredictability. We either hide from them - or roll with the punches, go with the flow - and see where they take us.
With Kate and Jed, life and love took them someplace grand….
