(Denise Richards, you are very lovely and have tits more formidable than the Dolomites in Northern Italy - but you, ma'am, are no Bill Murray)
CAST: Matt Dillon, Kevin Bacon, Neve Campbell, Denise Richards, Theresa Russell, Daphne Rubin-Vega, Robert Wagner, and Sir Bill Murray.
DIRECTOR: John McNaughton
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and intense competition between Denise Richard's tits and Bill Murray's wits...
Ask any guy what three things he remembers the most from the 1998 sleazefest/potboiler WILD THINGS, and he'll likely look you in the eye and say: "Number One: Denise Richards' hooters. Number Two: Denise Richards and Neve Campbell sucking face - and more - in the swimming pool. Number Three: Denise Richards, Neve Campbell, and Matt Dillon having a threesome in a fleabag motel."
Yes, folks. The movie is all about Denise Richards. She and her "girls" made such a splash with WILD THINGS that she was immediately front-lined for the role of Dr. Christmas Jones in the next Bond flick, THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, which was in pre-production at the time. It paid off, because WORLD grossed about $ 10 million more than the last Bond film on opening weekend. All on the strength of Denise Richard's melons.
But WILD THINGS is also more than just about Denise's fabulous mammary glands. It's also about Sir Bill Murray's caustic wit, which basically gives this overheated and potentially-ridiculous flick the right dose of canny tartness to keep it from sinking to the level of your average Skinemax flick. But he doesn't show up until about the second act of the movie. Up until that point, we just have to admire Denise's tanned bod as wealthy - and slutty - high-school senior Kelly Van Ryan.
Kelly lives in the glitzy Miami suburb of Blue Bay. Evidently, this lovely place is inhabited by: (1) rich assholes, (2) their equally-obnoxious children, (3) commoners who have no desire to be like them, and (4) commoners that do. An example of the last category is Sam Lombardo (Matt Dillon), a hunky dude who is darkly handsome and the guidance counselor at the local high school. Looking like Matt Dillon, Sam is obviously the object of his students' masturbatory fantasies - male, female, and possibly marine mammalian if you count their Sparky, their dolphin mascot.
Our story begins with Sam giving a lecture on, ahem, "sex crimes" to the student body. Also at the presentation are Detectives Ray Duquette and Gloria Perez, two of Blue Bay's finest who are definitely members of category # 3 from the paragraph above. That is, they are poor and fine with it. Unlike that choad Sam who is dating rich heiress Barbara Baxter (Jennifer Bini), daughter of rich choad Tom Baxter (Robert Wagner). If you think Sam is squiring Barbara because he's really attracted to her - and not her wealth - then may I suggest you and your buddies go snipe-hunting right after you folks watch this flick.
Other major characters include Suzie Toller (Neve Campbell), a white trash chick that we know is white trash because she: (1) wears black lipstick, (2) wears black nail polish, (3) lives in a trailer in the swamps, and (4) has hair that looks like it was soaked for several years in a bowl of Cherry Kool-Aid. There's also Sandra Van Ryan (Theresa Russell), Kelly's cougar/mega-whore mother whose primary character traits include: (1) fucking her pool boys and deckhands, (2) lusting after Sam, and (3) basically going around proving that Kelly's slutty tendencies were not a genetic fluke.
Our story kicks off to a steamy and sleazy start when Kelly accuses Sam of, um, raping her after she washed his truck as part of a school fund-drive. Naturally, Sam denies this. I mean, what was he going to do? Admit it and say that he was just trying to make it clear to her who her Daddy really is? Naturally, this has a very damaging effect on Sam's standing not only at the high school - but throughout the snooty Blue Bay area at large.
Detective Gloria Perez is suspicious of Kelly, though, and she tells Detective Ray Duquette as much. Unfortunately, a second accusation of rape from another student is levelled at Sam, and this pretty much puts the kibosh on Gloria's concerns. Especially since this student is our white trash princess, Suzie Toller. According to Suzie, Sam also pretty much made it clear to her who her Daddy really is. He does get around, our Sam, doesn't he?
Anyhow, enter Sir Bill Murray. Finally. I wasn't sure if I could take another minute of : (1) Sam's earnest "I'm innocent, Goddamnit!" speeches, or (2) Kelly's tremulous hissy fits, or (3) Suzie's godawful hair color, or (4) Sandra's indignant and hysterical "My daughter does not get raped in Blue Bay!" explosions. And what location would be permissible, lady? Jesus Christ, these people. Needless to say, it's a bracing breath of fresh air when Sir Bill swoops in as Sam's legal counsel, Ken Bowden.
Ken is, to put it mildly, not a lawyer who matriculated from an Ivy League School. I would say he got his Law Degree from an online correspondence course, except that would require familiarity with a computer. I'm guessing Ken just got his credentials from a mail-order catalog, and was able to sell the charade on the basis of the fact that he walks, talks, and acts just like Bill Murray. In other words, he's the best thing that could have happened to Sam's case.
Will Ken be able to clear Sam's name? Or are Kelly and Suzie telling the truth? Is Sam actually a demented pervert who gets his rocks off showing high school girls who their real Daddy is? Or is he a victim of a vicious conspiracy? Or is it something... else? Well, let me put it this way: this movie is famous for a smokin' hot threesome between Denise Richards, Neve Campbell, and Matt Dillon. Given that they are playing characters on "opposing" sides, how could that happen? Ahem...
Figure it out for yourselves, geniuses. As Dr. Hannibal Lecter told Clarice in THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS: "Everything you need to solve the case is right in front of you, Clarice...." Ahem. Just don't blame me if you end up banging your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend/plaything six ways from Monday, after watching this movie. Because if WILD THINGS doesn't make you just a little hornier than when you first sat down to watch it, you're probably a eunuch.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Unapologetically trashy, audacious, brazen, and entertaining, WILD THINGS is like a friend who is charming, sexy, alluring, and supremely confident of his/her skills to dazzle - and gets away with murder. Figuratively speaking, anyway. However, in the case of this movie - I mean that, literally. This movie, like BASIC INSTINCT, is one of those affairs that could have easily become an major disaster - but somehow works because of the right casting and the perfect execution.
WILD THINGS chief asset is a strong cast with each role perfectly realized by the perfect actor. Matt Dillon brings the right amounts of earnestness and ambiguity to Sam Lombardo. Just when you think you're convinced he's the victim of a sinister conspiracy, you find yourself suspecting he might not be as clean-cut as he appears to be - and then right back to believing in him again. Another actor might have played Sam as completely virtuous, but Dillon smartly adds hints of darker layers that keep us on edge. It's entirely appropriate for a movie filled with hidden agendas, secret motives, and people who are never what they appear to be. Kevin Bacon does the same thing with his role as the relentless cop, Ray Duquette. While seemingly stoic and noble, Bacon adds an undercurrent of menace to the role that keep us from warming to him completely. It's a brave choice.
As for the female roles, they are all interestingly crafted and expertly played. Denise Richards is absolute perfection as the cool, confident, manipulative sexpot who is also much more vulnerable than she realizes. In her hands, Kelly Van Ryan is a fully-realized character - a rich beauty used to being treated like a princess, but also forever searching for a replacement for the father that died on her. Which, unfortunately, opens her up to being exploited. As Kelly's seeming-opposite Suzie Toller, Neve Campbell inverts her squeaky-clean persona and turns the character into a seemingly unstable powder-keg of rage, emotion, and - eventually - surprisingly ice-cold calculation. I think of her role as a younger, poorer, but no less brilliant version of Catherine Trammell from BASIC INSTINCT, or Elektra King from THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH. That may actually be giving away too much of the plot, but it deserves to be said.
As Detective Gloria Perez, Daphne Rubin-Vega is quietly terrific. After Suzie, she's my favorite character. I love it when a lone character is the first to suspect that everything is not what it appears to be - with everyone around him/her completely clueless to the truth. In this case, Gloria is the first to intuit that the case against Sam is just the tip of a frighteningly complex iceberg. And at the end, Gloria's last scene clearly indicates that she finally knows - or at least suspects - exactly how everything went down, even if she ultimately decides it's too dangerous to go further. Rubin-Vega expressively suggests the internal wheels turning in Gloria's head as she gradually realizes that nothing and nobody involved in the case can be taken at face value. As the only character who doesn't have a hidden agenda, she instantly becomes our "eyes" and "ears." It's a low-key, but unforgettable performance. Bravo, Daphne.
As Sandra Van Ryan, Theresa Russell is amusingly vampy and provocative. Clearly, this is a woman who has way too much time and even more money on her hands. You'd like to think that she's genuinely concerned about Kelly, but you intuit that she's more worried about her standing in the Blue Bay community than her own daughter. Also, it's not too farfetched to posit that this is the kind of woman that Kelly will eventually become. This is visually suggested in the scene where Sam drops Kelly off at her home, and then we see Sandra walking back into the house through a balcony door - at the same exact moment that Kelly enters the front door. Even the doors slam at the same time. Mother and daughter - an old and young version of the same woman. This is a great bit of visual symbolism from director John McNaughton.
But, as always, Sir Bill Murray steals the show as Ken Bowden, the hilariously droll lawyer who saves - or tries to, anyway - Sam in court. Wearing a perpetual neck brace, Bill Murray basically elevates every single scene that he's in - and therefore the entire film. Some of the highlights: (1) Sam's first visit to Ken's office, which is decidedly low-rent, (2) Ken's clever cross-examination of both Suzie and Kelly, (3) Ken's reaction to Tom Baxter's diss after the trial, and (4) Ken's scene with our surprise villain at the very end of the movie. Without Sir Bill, this movie would not be as enjoyable as it is. His presence is just the thing that WILD THINGS needed to retain some degree of respectability.
Bottom line: WILD THINGS is an enjoyable hunk of thriller-cheeze that would've been less palatable with all the wrong actors. Fortunately, as with its more handsome cousin BASIC INSTINCT, the stars aligned with this film. Imagine if even just one or two of the vital roles were filled by less worthy actors. Even worse, imagine if one of those roles was Ken Bowden's? I don't want to even think about it this movie without Sir Bill in it.
