(I think I just met my gastronomic soulmate, and she’s an even scarier chef than me…)
CAST: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Aaron Eckhart, Abigail Breslin, Patricia Clarkson, Brian F. O’Byrne, Bob Balaban, Lily Rabe, Jenna Wade.
DIRECTOR: Scott Hicks
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one seriously hot - but also seriously formidable - chef straight ahead…
Watching NO RESERVATIONS - a remake of the 2001 German hit MOSTLY MARTHA - is like gazing upon an excellent plate of Coq Au Vin or Boeuf Bourguignon: it looks great, was obviously put together with care, and you just know it’s going to be a sinful pleasure. And, of course, being a food flick about an aloof and exacting chef at a popular French restaurant in Manhattan, NO RESERVATIONS parades mouth-watering dish after mouth-watering dish in front of us. Don’t be surprised if this movie has the same effect on the appetite that WILD THINGS had on the libido. Or, in my case, GLADIATOR.
Our heroine is chef Kate Armstrong (Catherine Zeta-Jones), who runs her kitchen like fiery Four-Star General. But let’s be clear that while she expects a lot from her staff, she treats them fairly and with respect. The “fiery” part comes into play whenever an irate customer criticizes her or her staff’s cooking. Then the claws come out - and there are few things more terrifying in this world than a pissed-off woman who looks like Catherine Zeta-Jones. Beautiful people are intimidating to begin with - even before the temper tantrums.
We get a first glimpse of Kate’s ability to put a schmuck customer in his/her place when one such putz dares to criticize her foie gras as “not cooked long enough.” Let’s just say that by the time Kate is done verbally annihilating him, even his wife looks ready to laugh out loud and call up the nearest divorce attorney. This dismays Paula (Patricia Clarkson), the restaurant’s owner, to no end. Clearly, she’s one of them entrepreneurs who believes that customers are always right - no matter what gargantuan assholes they may be. Even more clearly, she regards Kate the same way someone regards the pit bull they just adopted: while it is a handsome creature with probably a lot of skills, and while they may have some degree of admiration for the creature, the know it will most likely explode at some point and rip someone’s throat out.
Anyow, Kate’s world is suddenly turned upside down when her sister is killed in a car accident. Zoe (Abigail Breslin), Kate’s niece, survives the crash. Kate subsequently finds out that her sister named her as guardian for Zoe, should anything happen. And, well, it’s happened. For a single control freak like Kate who craves her own space, this is just like being told that an entire Little League Team will be using her flat like a clubhouse. But, being a class act underneath that flinty exterior, Kate gracefully does the right thing. Even if it occasionally involves being tempted to slam back an entire bottle of Pinot Noir in frustration.
Needless to say, Zoe’s transition to life with Aunt Kate isn’t exactly a smooth one. This is largely due to the fact that Zoe is, well, a First Class Brat. Try as Kate might to placate and welcome her niece, Zoe responds by: (1) refusing to eat anything Kate eats - not even when Kate stoops to preparing Fish Sticks; (2) throwing a hissy fit whenever Kate doesn’t produce her favorite scarf (or other whim) in time; and (3) generally behaving like a pretty strong argument for remaining single and childless (or at least, just childless) for the rest of your life. Perhaps Kate should remind dear Zoe that Kate had no say in the contents of that fucking will. So Zoe should just be a tad grateful - or else.
As if having an ungrateful little brat muscle in on your personal space wasn’t bad enough, Kate discovers that, while she was away trying to do the right thing for Queen Zoe, an over-grateful large brat has muscled into her professional space. To put it plainly, in Kate’s absence Paula hired a temporary sous chef so that Leah (Jenny Wade), the real sous chef who is also about to explode with child, can download the baby in peace. His name is Nick Palmer (Aaron Eckhart) and, not to put too fine a spin on it, he’s a goddamned lunatic.
Given to singing opera and arias right there in the kitchen, Nick is one of those white boys who are about as exotic as Brad Pitt but go around acting like they have an Italian last name. Last time I checked, Nick, you were still a cracker - and no amount of time spent in Italy banging hot Italian chicks and getting their fathers to teach you how to cook will ever change that. Just keeping it real, dude. Paula affectionately terms his behavior as eccentric and exuberant. Kate, on the other hand, interprets it as severely-arrested development. Long story short, the Kate-Nick pairing is even less of a hit, if that’s possible, than the Kate-Zoe pairing. I know Kate told her therapist that she doesn’t have much luck with relationship but - all together now - DAMN.
So… will Kate and Zoe eventually warm to one another? Will they learn how to live together? And what about Kate and Nick? Will Nick stop behaving like a Mediterranean-wannabe long enough for Kate to see that he’s actually a decent white guy underneath? Or will they continue to clash in the kitchen? Do they not realize that they have so much sexual tension between them to power Long Island for a week? Maybe even a month?
Find out for yourselves. But - trust me on this - don’t do it on an empty stomach. You just just might take a bite out of your significant other.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Light, with some gravity where needed. Sweet, with just the right dollops of tartness. Satisfying, but not too heavy on the palate. NO RESERVATIONS is like the perfect dessert. Like it’s predecessor MOSTLY MARTHA, this film draws you into the story and - yes - the food. Unlike that original German film, though, the American remake wisely streamlines the story and makes the character arcs more graceful.
Gone is the awkward subplot about the mystery father, which served only to set up a road trip to Italy. Don’t get me wrong - Italy is the most beautiful place to drive through, with the nicest and most beautiful people in the world. But for the purposes of the original film, it took away from the intimacy of the developing relationships. NO RESERVATIONS wisely jettisons this plot thread, allowing the film to focus on the gradually-blooming connections between Kate, Nick, and Zoe. Watching Kate slowly dismantle Zoe’s defenses, just as Nick deftly disarms her own, is a pleasure to watch.
As Kate, Catherine Zeta-Jones is not afraid to play up the character’s fiery temper. But she also wisely tempers it with a touching melancholy, sense of fairness, and an admirable dedication to her craft. To call Kate a bitch would be a gross simplification: she’s only a diva to those who ask for it. Treat her well, she’ll treat you well. Tit for tat. Gotta love that. Zeta-Jones sells the character, effortlessly.
Similarly, Abigail Breslin plays Zoe as a real child. Not one of those cinematic kids who don’t behave in any realistic way, and more like little adults. In Breslin’s hands, Zoe is a mix of determination, sensitivity, and - yes - budding cooking talent. Remind you of anyone? This is one of the pleasures of NO RESERVATIONS - discovering the hidden levels within the story. We are never told explicitly that Zoe takes after Kate - but we see it and sense that in twenty years’ time, she just might be inheriting Aunt Kate’s bistro.
Aaron Eckhart makes Nick warm, affable, and winningly quirky. Eckhart’s performance hints at an Italian trapped in a WASP’s body, and he never makes the mistake of over-playing Nick’s vivaciousness. He knows when to play it large like an Italian, and when to play it quiet and real like, well, Nick. The only thing that keeps NO RESERVATIONS from rating **** (very good) is the fact that Nick could have been a little more complex. Compared to Kate and Zoe, he is a relatively straightforward and penetrable character. Although the intent was obviously to contrast him with the two complex females, he still could have used just a touch of a "rough edge" himself. But Eckhart does very well with what he is given - which is essentially a smoother and cleaner-cut version of the character he played in ERIN BROCKOVICH.
As for the supporting cast, Patricia Clarkson, Jenny Wade, and Lily Rabe are all fine as, respectively, the restaurant’s two-faced owner, Kate’s pregnant sous chef, and an aspiring actress who moonlights as a waitress (with attitude). They are all vivid, memorable, and exceedingly lovely. Also, I should make special mention of the beautiful score by minimalist composer Philip Glass - which is almost like another character. Please note, though, that the vibrant main title theme that recurs throughout the film is not part of the original soundtrack. It was actually borrowed from the original score of MY LIFE AS A HOUSE (1999) - which is available through I-Tunes. Track name is “Building a House.”
Verdict: NO RESERVATIONS is just as good as MOSTLY MARTHA - and in terms of graceful plotting, it’s even a little better. And the food just looks more scrumptious, somehow.
I’m getting hungry again.
