(Timothy Dalton, is it weird that I get hot just looking at your eyebrows? Don't answer that...)
CAST: Timothy Dalton, Maryam D'Abo, Jeroen Krabbe, Joe Don Baker, Art Malik, Thomas Wheatley, Andreas Wisniewski, Desmond Llewellyn, Caroline Bliss, Julie T. Wallace, Kell Tyler.
DIRECTOR: John Glen
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one really intense James Bond - straight ahead.
IT'S LIKE THIS: If we were to play a "word-association" game, and I were to say "James Bond," what would be the top five words that would pop into your mind? Most likely, the following: (1) secret agent, (2) 007, (3) pussy ravager, (4) British, and (5) pussy ravager. Oh, wait, we already said that... How about "Mega-ManWhore?" In any case, the preceding five answers (or variations thereof) would be the responses you would likely get. One response I can say unequivocally that you wouldn't normally get is... "clown." I mean, that would just be ridiculous, wouldn't it? What would the super-sleek, super-smart, super-gorgeous, super-glamorous, and super-horny international spy have to do with a circus freak in heavy make-up?
A lot, as it turns out. You see, as shockingly ludicrous as it may seem, James Bond did parade as a clown in one of his flicks. It was the 1983 Bond flick OCTOPUSSY (don't even get me started about that title), and while it is an okay adventure, it will also go down in history as "The Movie Where Bond Dressed Like Bo-bo and Homey - Only Somehow More Tragic." Don't believe me? Then take a peek below. And let me tell you right now that you are not looking at Ronald McDonald:
Yes, folks. Believe it or don't, underneath all that plaster and eyeliner is none other than Her Majesty's 007, AKA James Bond. I'm not sure whose brilliant idea it was to put him in a clown outfit, but I have a feeling that person and his family are deep inside the Federal Witness Protection Program now, hiding out from all the rabidly angry Bond fans from all over the world. Just to underscore how disturbing this concept is, let's look at another shot of Bond-in-Clown-Drag while (rightfully) being subdued by a bunch of Air Force cops for violating the "Don't Ask Don't Tell Policy":
Note how his mascara and eyeliner are bleeding like crazy. Must have been crying because someone stole his pretty wig. Shoot him now. Then shoot me so I can be put out of my misery for having one of my childhood heroes reduced to a bizarre party favor. Can you imagine the members of Generation Facebook who were weaned on Daniel Craig's thuggish version of James Bond? They'd swear off the Bond franchise forever if they realized he once wore more make-up than Tammy Faye Baker on a bender.
Fortunately, the Bond producers realized what a colossal boner this was, and got their act together two years later in 1985 to give us A VIEW TO A KILL. Mercifully, that was a more-than-decent Bond flick that was absolutely free of any clown costumes. Still, with that flippant goofball Roger Moore remaining in the role of Bond, they must have felt there would always be a chance he'd goose them outta the blue and turn up looking like Krusty The Klown again - so they replaced him with the more intense Timothy Dalton in 1987's THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS. And let's just say Timmy D. would sooner disembowel, dismember, then eat a clown raw than dress up as one. And just like that, James Bond was saved from turning into the latest Barnum and Bailey attraction. I mean, seriously: what would you rather watch? A Bond who dresses like this...
... or a Bond who dresses like this?
Well, alrighty then.
From the get go, we know THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS is not fucking around. We open with an MI-6 war game on the Rock of Gibraltar to test the skills of all Her Majesty's double-oh agents - and there isn't a single goddamned clown in sight. Unfortunately, even with the absence of circus freaks, the training exercise goes very, very bad. You see, an assassin crashes the party and kills a few of them. Fortunately, 007 AKA James Bond AAKA I'm Too Sexy For This Blog, happens to be part of the war game - and gives chase to the assassin. It all ends the way you would expect it to - with a fireball and the assassin blown up to smithereens and Bond parachuting onto some bored millionaire sexpot's yacht - and fucking her senseless. Anyone doubting whether Bond really has the game to lure a sexy, rich woman into the sack just like that, should just take one look at what he looks like now...
... then shut the fuck up.
Anyhow, cut to Bratislava, which is somewhere in Slovakia. Which means that, since this is 1987 and way before the Berlin wall came down and the USSR went kaput, it is deep in the heart of Commie Country. Bond is on assignment to facilitate the defection of one Russian general named Georgi Koskov (Jeroen Krabbe) to the West. Aiding him is Agent Saunders (Thomas Wheatley), who's one of those uptight constipated Brits as opposed to the crazy fun-loving poonhound Brits like Bond. Saunders never misses the opportunity to criticize our boy Bond any chance he gets. You just keep waiting for the moment where Bond has had enough and starts wailin' on Saunders' face like it was a pinata.
Sure enough, when a beautiful female sniper tries to shoot Koskov from afar as he's rushing to meet Bond and Saunders, Bond shoots the gun out of her hand. Instead of the standard protocol of, you know, shooting her in the head and icing her completely. "You deliberately missed because the sniper was a woman!! Just because she was a hot piece of ass!!! Just because your peeter got stiff when you saw her!!" yells Saunders at Bond. Or something like that. Bond, for his part, doesn't really give a shit what Saunders thinks, and pretty much goes: "And your point would be?"
This just causes Saunders to gripe and bitch even more. Whatcha gonna do, folks? Loverz gonna love, haterz gonna hate - which one are you? Bond, being a lover, fantasizes about the beautiful sniper whose life he spared - and focuses on getting Koskov safely out of the Communist Bloc through a gas pipeline. Saunders, being a hater, grumbles and talks shit about Bond behind his back to anyone who will listen. Thankfully, Bond finally decides he's been gracious enough with this jackass - and leaves Saunders' sorry ass behind in Slovakia. Oooh, snap. You picked the wrong guy to piss off, Saunders. Go, Bond...
Back in London, Koskov tells MI-6 that General Putin (John Rhys-Davies) is the one who ordered the hit on the double-oh agents in Gibraltar. As a result, Bond is ordered to assassinate Putin. There are some problems, though: (1) Bond knows Putin and (2) respects him very much and (3) highly doubts that Putin would order the assassination of British agents and (4) there's something fishy about Koskov, anyway. Is Koskov telling the truth? Is Putin really a cold-blooded killer? How well does Bond know Putin, anyway? Then there's that female assassin/sniper whom Bond chose not to kill. Who was she? And why did she handle that gun with the expertise of a drunk sorority girl? Is she really an assassin? If so, what idiot trained her?
Bond doesn't have to wait long to find out. With the expert help of loyal lapdog Miss Moneypenny (Caroline Bliss), Bond zeroes in on the identity of the gunwoman/sniper. She is Kara Milovy (Maryam D'Abo), a talented cellist for the Bratislava Symphony Orchestra. That is, when she's not bungling assassination attempts. Before you know it, Bond is making a side trip to Bratislava to get to know Kara - before moving on to Russia to kill Putin. In the meantime, while Bond and Kara, um, bond, Koskov is snatched back from MI-6 custody - and taken back to Russia by the dastardly baddie named Necros (Andreas Wisniewski). Which leads to more complications. Which means Bond must seek help from the last person on Earth he would ever want to see again...
Yes. I'm talking about that dipshit Saunders. After Bond ditched his ass in Slovakia, Saunders went on to Vienna, where Bond and Kara eventually meet up with him. Fortunately, Bond and Saunders actually manage to get along this time, and even manage to smile at each other as Saunders agrees to help Bond figure out just what the fuck is going on here. Saunders must have learned his lesson about getting on 007's bad side. Before we can celebrate this reconciliation too much, though, Necros shows up and kills Saunders - and just like that Bond is back to square one. At least he's got a hot piece of ass as a sidekick, though.
So... why was Koskov snatched back by the Russians? Is Putin truly behind the assassinations of the 00 agents? Is he really a killer? Or is Bond right when he says Putin would never do anything like that? Is Koskov playing both sides here? And what about Kara? Is she loyal to Koskov - or Bond? Will Necros kill her just like he iced Saunders? And what role does a fat American general named Brad Whitaker have in this whole puzzle? Will Bond figure out what is going on before it is too late? Or will he be so flummoxed by the whole thing, he'll decide to dress up like this:
Dear Lord, no...
BUT, SERIOUSLY: We began this review with a joke about a word-association game involving the name "James Bond." Now, let's reverse that tactic and go down the list of actors who have portrayed Bond since the franchise was born 50 years ago in 1962 - and come up with words that accurately describe the individual styles each actor brought to the role. Here are our impressions:
SEAN CONNERY: "Sexy. Macho. Swagger. Deadly. Chauvinist. Sexist."
GEORGE LAZENBY: "Nondescript. Mellow. So-so. Unremarkable. Almost Bland."
ROGER MOORE: "Flippant. Lighthearted. Goofy. Comical. Breezy."
TIMOTHY DALTON: "Intense. Seductive. Serious. Deadly. Soulful. Mean. Sensitive."
PIERCE BROSNAN: "Melting Pot. Versatile. Chameleon. Breezy. Action. "
DANIEL CRAIG: "Intense. Mean. Serious. Deadly. Soulful. Sexy."
Connery's Bond was obviously a reflection of the more chauvinistic 60's before women's lib. Lazenby made a reasonable debut, but he didn't have a chance to expand on this with subsequent films because he never reprised the role for a second film. Moore brought a more cheeky and light touch to the role. Dalton was closer to Ian Fleming's more serious creation. Brosnan, on the other hand, never really forged an identity of his own - and instead blended Connery's swagger, Lazenby's low-key manner, Moore's cheeky humor, and Dalton's mean but sexy intensity. Then there's Daniel Craig - who basically took Dalton's template - and ran with it. And each actor's films bears the "flavor" of his persona.
With that in mind, I have to say that most of the Roger Moore films are my least favorite in the series. With the exception of FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (1981), none of them are in my Top 10 - and most of them sit low in the overall rankings. This is not because they are bad films, but that their hokey, jokey tone and campy, cheesy feel do not appeal as much to me as the more serious, meaner outings in the series. To us, Bond films are essentially thrillers with action - and thrillers should be serious and suspenseful with the right amount of humor. Indeed, the reason FOR YOUR EYES ONLY sits in the Top 10 is because of its atypically serious (for a Moore film) tone and feel. It is free of the ludicrous elements that plague his other films. You'd have to search pretty high and low for more painful moments in the series than the space station and laser battle scenes in MOONRAKER (1979), the silly voodoo and redneck antics of LIVE AND LET DIE (1973), and the most cringe-worthy: that awful clown outfit in OCTOPUSSY (1983).
It was a welcome change, then, when Timothy Dalton took over the role in 1987. Dalton's interpretation of Bond is much closer to what writer Ian Fleming created in his stories. Fleming's Bond was an intense, intelligent, sexy, soulful, brooding man of action who both lived in the moment and also in his head. Connery captured more of the "man of action" part, and Moore captured the "living in the moment" part, while Lazenby didn't really get a chance to capture much of either. Dalton, on the other hand, captured it all: man of action, living in the moment, living in his head. Indeed, as praised as Daniel Craig's current interpretation of Bond is, many contemporary audiences don't realize that Timothy Dalton paved the way for him. In short, Dalton was ahead of his time and set the groundwork that Craig would follow 15 years later when the took over the role. Timoth Dalton is my favorite Bond because how effortlessly he combines many different colors in Bond's personality - and how he approaches the role seriously, but with also a certain playfulness. I think he's actually even better than Daniel Craig in the role. Dalton was only able to do two Bond films (this one and the equally good LICENCE TO KILL), but he made his mark with them - and opened the door for a return to the more serious Bond of Fleming's vision.
Like Dalton's performance, THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS is a serious and complex affair. Unlike some Bond films with plots that you can afford to miss certain points of, this film is intricate and requires you to pay attention. I remember watching it as a kid and feeling completely lost. I had to watch it a few more times to understand the sequence of events. Of course, I was much younger. Adult viewers will have no problem following along - so long as they don't let their attention wander. Compared to TOMORROW NEVER DIES or DIE ANOTHER DAY, this movie's plot is serpentine and almost sophisticated in comparison. I won't spoil much here, but suffice it to say, THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS takes the Bond series' staple themes - treacherous figures, hidden agendas, byzantine motivations, shifting alliances - and pumps it up to a thrilling degree.
Also as effective as Dalton and the more mature story, is Maryam D'Abo as the film's heroine. D'Abo plays Kara Milovy, a Russian cellist who gets pulled into the fray because of her connection to Georgi Koskov - and gets in over her head. There are three types of Main Bond Girls: (1) The Female Bond: fellow trained agents who assist (or hinder) Bond in his mission - e.g. Anya Amasova from THE SPY WHO LOVED ME, Wai Lin from TOMORROW NEVER DIES, Jinx Johnson and Miranda Frost from DIE ANOTHER DAY, Pam Bouvier from LICENCE TO KILL, Camille Montes from QUANTUM OF SOLACE, and Eve from the upcoming SKYFALL; (2) The Villain's Girlfriend Or Associate: the bad guy's squeeze who either sides with Bond or stands by her man, and usually (but not always) dies in both cases - e.g. Pussy Galore in GOLDFINGER, Andrea Anders in THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN, Tiffany Case in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, Bibi Dahl in FOR YOUR EYES ONLY, Lupe Lamora from LICENCE TO KILL, Xenia Onatopp from GOLDENEYE, Octopussy from OCTOPUSSY, and Severine from the upcoming SKYFALL; and my favorite type: (3) The Ordinary Girl, usually a normal working woman who crosses paths with Bond and gets pulled into the fray and learns how to survive: Tatiana Romanova from FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE, Melina Havelock from FOR YOUR EYES ONLY, Dr. Christmas Jones from THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, and my #1 Favorite Bond Girl: Natalya Simonova from GOLDENEYE.
(IMPORTANT NOTE: The most interesting woman in the Bond franchise is Elektra King from THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, but she cannot be considered a "Bond Girl" because she doesn't fit into any of the three types: she is not a trained agent, nor the villain's girlfriend/associate, nor is she an ordinary innocent woman who is pulled into the fray. Nope. She is an actual Lead Villain, the first female one in the series, and should be categorized that way.)
Kara Milovy is my #2 Favorite Bond Girl after Natalya. Like her, Kara is no super-duper trained agent nor the bad guy's henchwoman or gal pal. They (like Christmas and Melina) are regular women just going about their lives when Bond appears and turns everything upside down, forcing them to step up to survive. Kara may strike some viewers as too soft and innocent for a Bond Girl, but that's actually why I like her so much. In this story full of characters with hidden agendas and secret motives (even Bond himself), Kara is the only one who can be taken at face value - and as such, becomes our "eyes" and "ears" into the story. While she may not be as feisty as Natalya, Kara has the same blend of courage, intelligence, and humanity which merits them places at the top of my Bond Girl List. Just as Izabella Scorupco expertly showed us all of Natalya's layers (scared, tough, mouthy, gentle, brilliant), so too does D'Abo make Kara a very sympathetic and identifiable figure at the center of all the cloak-and-dagger games of THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS.
What's also great about THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS is how director John Glen and his writers bring back a genuine sense of romance to the story that hasn't been seen since ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE in 1969 - and wouldn't reappear again until THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH (1999) and CASINO ROYALE (2006). We get the real sense that Bond cares about Kara - and is conflicted about how to handle it, since he's not sure what her involvement with Koskov's plan is. Indeed, the best moments in the film are not the action setpieces (which are all fine and exciting), but the smaller, quieter moments that focus on Bond and Kara themselves, such as: (1) Bond offering to buy her a dress for the opera, and Kara reacting with child-like enthusiasm; (2) Bond and Kara at the opera itself; (3) Bond and Kara on a ferris wheel enjoying a quiet moment; and (4) the finale in London where Kara plays her cello at a concert - and receives a nice surprise. My favorite moment, though, is when Bond and Kara are trying to escape from Bratislava and have only a few minutes before the police come after them - and Kara insists they go back for her cello. The way Dalton and D'Abo play this scene perfectly captures the feisty, playful, but very tender tone of their relationship. Love it.
The only thing that keeps THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS from scoring higher than **** to reach the level of GOLDENEYE (****1/2) is its rather wan villains. While Jeroen Krabbe and Joe Don Baker deliver perfectly good performances, they are playing a couple of clownish, goofy bad guys. That might be fine for a comedy, but not for a thriller. And, as we talked about before, Bond films are basically thrillers with action. It's an old chestnut that thrillers are only as strong as their villains. If that's the case, THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS is hindered just a little by the fact that Georgi Koskov and Brad Whitaker are about as threatening as a couple of bumbling salesmen. Both men are amusing, but they simply do not conjure up any menace or foreboding. At least one of them should've been made more intense and intimidating. Thank goodness then for Andrea Wisniewski, who more than makes up for Koskov and Whitaker's bland baddies by giving us a more formidable foe in Necros - the handsome, silent assassin who kills as swiftly and gracefully as a jungle cat. His final battle with Bond and Kara on a crashing Hercules C-5 airplane is one of the film's action highlights. Basically, Necros keeps things balanced. Without him, THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS might've been less thrilling.
Ultimately, THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS was a serious, elegant, and engaging return to form for the Bond series after the too-breezy-and-cheesy Roger Moore years. Timothy Dalton's sexy, intense turn as Bond was way ahead of its time - and he paved the way for Daniel Craig's similarly gritty take on the role. Maryam D'Abo also gives us a refreshingly human and relatable Bond Girl who is a very strong woman in her own regard. All in all, a very classy entry into the Bond franchise.
In closing, my revised TOP 10 BOND FILMS:
1. GOLDENEYE (1995)
2. FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE (1963)
3. THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH (1999)
4. THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (1987)
5. QUANTUM OF SOLACE (2008)
6. LICENCE TO KILL (1989)
7. CASINO ROYALE (2006)
8. FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (1981)
9. THUNDERBALL (1966)
10. GOLDFINGER (1964)
Next week, after our Fall Movie Season 2012 schedule goes up, we will also begin our "James Bond 50th Anniversary Celebration" - complete with Bond Movie Rankings, Bond Girl Rankings, Bond Villain Rankings, and Bond Theme Song Rankings.
Go, 007!!!
In closing, a great vid that someone made for Sir Timothy Dalton to commemorate his invaluable contribution to the Bond franchise. Here's to the best Bond ever, even better than Connery and Craig. Oh, yes, I DID!
