THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY (2012 - ACTION / THRILLER) ** out of *****
(Unless, of course, you live in the Philippines - then that light is pretty fucking hot...)
CAST: Henry Cavill, Bruce Willis, Sigourney Weaver, Veronica Echegui, Caroline Goodall, Ravi Gafron, Emma Hamilton, Oscar Jaenada.
DIRECTOR: Mabrouk El Mechri
WARNING: Some seriously mundane "Bourne By The Numbers" antics - straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: It's a damn shame that you can't rate a movie based on how hairy and how awesome its hero's pecs are. If that's the case, THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY would've easily scored a perfect five-star rating. Doubt me? Well, allow me to present the evidence in the form of star Henry Cavill's awesome chest:
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
Exhibit C:
Exhibit D:
Exhibit HELL YEAH!:
Wow. Either that pesky Global Warming thang has sped up, or there's another reason why it's hot as sauna in here. At any rate, as I mentioned before, if all that mattered in THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY was Henry C's pecs and abs, well, this would be one of the Top Ten Flicks Of 2012. Anyone wondering why he was cast as the new Superman/Clark Kent in next year's Superman reboot, MAN OF STEEL, should stop wondering immediately and just eye-fuck that chest. Seriously, just looking at that thing makes my eyes roll back into my head and my toes curl up. Not to mention makes my balls ache. Put it this way: even my brother - who is the straightest, macho-est, most ridiculously testosterone-filled man alive - admits to having a bit of a "Man-Crush" on Henry Cavill. Oh, wait... I promised I wouldn't tell a soul about that. My bad, bro...
Unfortunately, there are other things one must consider when reviewing a movie besides how hot the leading man is. You know, stupid stuff like: (1) coherent plot, (2) dynamic action, (3) razor-edge suspense, (4) complex characters, (5) emotional resonance, and (6) dialogue that doesn't make you wonder if a crack-addicted monkey wrote the script. When taken into consideration, these six factors suddenly make THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY's potential ***** rating drop as sharply as my IQ with each passing year. At this rate, I'll be about as smart as your average pre-schooler in about two years. Damn those gas fumes. Don't ask.
Put simply, THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY is one of those Jason Bourne-wannabe flicks where the following elements are present: (1) foot chases, (2) hand-to-hand combat, (3) perilous jumps from one rooftop to another, which are (4) all filmed with a camera so shaky you have to wonder if the operator is a career chain smoker who just went cold turkey the day before. Now, folks, all these elements are believable when executed by Jason Bourne. After all, he is a secret agent. That's what he gets paid to do. The "hero" of THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY, on the other hand, is not a secret agent. Far from it. He just looks like one.
No, sir... Will Shaw (Henry "Lick My Pecs" Cavill) is a Wall Street trader / businessman / yuppie / whatever who is visiting sunny, hot Spain in the middle of summer (another reason why that titles makes no fucking sense). And the worse thing he's probably ever had to deal with in his life is the barista at his local Starbucks back in NYC putting regular milk instead of soy milk in his latte. His pops is Martin Shaw (Bruce "My Mojo Is Still Flowing Like A Mofo Yo" Willis), a diplomat with a humdrum job at the U.S. Consulate in Madrid. Along with wife/mom Laurie (Caroline Goodall), younger brother Josh (Ravi Gafron), and Josh's ditzy girlfriend Dara (Emma Hamilton), Will and Martin are sailing along the coast of Southern Spain and generally discovering why the Spanish are a bunch of happy mo-fos: all that sunny weather, yo...
Unfortunately, their vacaciones en Espana is seriously pissed on by the following things: (1) Will's business venture back in New York is going under, making it (2) inconvenient for him to fly all the way to Spain to hang with his family; which means (3) he's constantly distracted and leaving them to text and/or call his homeys and shit on his Blackberry; which in turn (4) seriously pisses off Martin, who is a bit of a control freak; which in turn (5) leads to Martin taking that fucking phone from Will and tossing it into the Med. Do you know how many times I've wanted to do that to someone who won't shut the fuck up on the bus or train? Like we give a crap about how your fucking pap smear went, lady. Wait until you get to your destination, you airhead. Let's just say I kind of cheered at this scene. And let's just say that was probably the only time I cheered in this movie - apart from the three scenes where Will took his shirt off.
Anyhow, as annoying as the above factors are, they're still nothing in comparison to what happens when Will decides to throw a hissy fit after the "Daddy Threw My Phone Into The Mediterranean Sea" extravaganza. He jumps off the boat and swims to shore (cue the first of the shirtless scenes - yeah!) under the pretense of getting some bandages and antiseptic for Dara, whose noggin (or what passes for one), got conked by the boat's jib boom (grandpa owned a smallish yacht - shoot me) during the whole "Daddy Threw My Phone Into The Mediterranean Sea" extravaganza. Don't ask. Anyhow, when Will gets back to the boat, he discovers the following things: (1) his whole family is missing, (2) there are signs of a bloody fight, and (3) it's looking like he can kiss his Spanish Holiday bye-bye, ese. Or is it "esay?"
Whatever. To make matters worse, when Will tries to report his missing family to the local policia, what should happen but those very same policia basically targeting his ass like he's the bad guy? Que paso? How do you say "WTF?" in Spanish? Then, as if Will's world couldn't possibly get any more fucked up, Martin himself shows up to help his son escape the baddies. Just to make sure Will is as shell-shocked as possible, Martin also tells him the following things: (1) he is not a diplomat like Will and the rest of their family thought, (2) he is actually - oh, what a fresh twist - a CIA agent, and (3) the people that kidnapped the rest of the Shaws (plus that twit Dara) are bad guys who want Martin to return some stupid briefcase he stole from them - and they are led by one really bitchy chick named Jean Carrack (Sigourney Weaver). Like I said, some scripts feel like they were written by a bunch of monkeys on crack.
So... will Martin and Will be able to retrieve that fucking suitcase in time to save their family? What is in it, anyway? Is there something that Martin isn't telling Will? What is it? And what is Martin's connection to Jean? And why are Jean's panties in such a bunch, anyway? Will Martin and Will ever see Laurie, Josh, and Dara ever again? And the most important question of all: will Henry Cavill give Matthew McConaughey a run for his money in the "any-excuse-to-take-my-shirt-off" department?
I sure as hell hope so. Let me remind you folks yet one more time:
Yup. That's what happens to dirty boys: they get chained up in the basement until I need them again - like every twenty minutes...
BUT, SERIOUSLY: In past reviews, we've talked about how necessary "emotional centers" are to movies. Think of your favorite movies... You may think the reason you love them so much is because they are funny, scary, thrilling, dramatic, touching, tearjerking, dynamic, or simply entertaining - but the simple truth is you connected with them. They registered with you enough for you to be pulled in. Whatever your top favorite films are, they are your favorite films because they had an emotional center that you tapped into - whether you realize it or not. My TOP 5 favorite films - BOY A, ORDINARY PEOPLE, REAR WINDOW, THE ENGLISH PATIENT, WEDDING CRASHERS - all had strong emotional centers that I connected with, which made the respective journeys - whether sad, scary, romantic, or funny - exceedingly visceral and unforgettable.
Without an emotional center, films become forgettable. Without that connection to audiences, two hours worth of celluloid may entertain you in the moment, but ultimately will not stay with you. A movie may be technically well-made, competently shot, and professionally acted - but without audience connection, it will not land a place on anyone's favorite list. Which is fine, because most movies are simply meant to entertain and nothing more. Many films are entertaining and enjoyable without having a strong emotional center. If the plot and execution is strong, that can be enough to make a film passable, if ultimately forgettable, entertainment. On the other hand, if a movie has a plot that is weak and unoriginal, it needs a solid emotional center and engagingly sympathetic characters to score a pass - otherwise, it ends up being mediocre.
One such film, unfortunately, is THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY. This film has an A-list cast that is combination of rising young stars (Henry Cavill, who is the new Superman/Clark Kent in next year's MAN OF STEEL), talented veterans (the formidable and classy Bruce Willis and Sigourney Weaver), and reliable foreign talent (the lovely Caroline Goodall, one of England's finest actresses, and Veronica Echegui, one of Spain's most dynamic new faces). Sadly, they are at the mercy of a script that, while having the germ of a good idea at its core, constantly makes the wrong choices and takes the easy way out - every single time - and doesn't give us a single character to truly root for. The result is zero emotional connection with the story or the individuals within it. And that is very unfortunate, because with a couple major rewrites and tweaks, THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY could've easily been a decent entry into the post-modern "Edgy Spy Movie" genre that was kickstarted by THE BOURNE IDENTITY and its sequels.
THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY essentially takes a classic Hitchcockian set-up - "an innocent man caught up in some sinister events" - and tries to fuse it with the tropes of the "Edgy Spy Movie" genre: espionage, double-crosses, byzantine schemes, and people who are not what they appear to be. Unfortunately, it falls very short of the mark - primarily because our hero Will Shaw ultimately doesn't register as a full-blooded hero or character. And since we spend pretty much the whole movie with him, that is not a good thing. There are some performers who are so brilliant and breathtaking as to generate genuine concern and interest in a cardboard character and lazy script, but they are few and far between. You can't really fault Henry Cavill for not being one of them. The man is an arresting screen presence and a very handsome man, and he is certainly talented, but he is defeated by a role that requires nothing more from him than to run around and look scared. Cavill deserves better than this, and his "debut" as Clark Kent/Superman in next year's eagerly-awaited MAN OF STEEL will surely serve him better than this movie.
The film's best moments are in the first twenty minutes, when the script sets up family tensions between Will and his father Martin (Willis). And later, when Will discovers that his father is not who he says he is, the film becomes more interesting as we anticipate a plot that will force father and son to work together to save their family - and bridge the gap between them. I'm not spoiling much by saying that this doesn't happen - because the trailers make it abundantly clear that Martin is killed off by the baddies barely a half-hour in - leaving Will on his own to untangle everything.
Needless to say, this plot decision pretty much kills THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY. While having Martin and Will work together to save the day would not have been 100% original, since we've seen this before in 1985's Gene Hackman/Matt Dillon actioner TARGET and INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE (where Indy and his father teamed up and healed old hurts in the process), it still would've been a more interesting angle to take. And it would've provided a stronger emotional core to build the film around - especially considering the movie does do a good job of setting up the thorny relationship between Will and Martin in the first act. All the director and writers had to do was continue down the same path - and continually up the ante. Unfortunately, in their attempts to be "edgy" and "unpredictable" they only end up being bland and unsurprising. As a result, nothing in this movie feels genuine. You certainly couldn't say that about the BOURNE films, which always had a strong beating heart at the center of all the chases, thrills, betrayals, and suspense. It all comes down to the emotional center, which this movie conspicuously lacks.
The supporting cast is okay and nothing more, with Sigourney Weaver getting the most screentime as sort of a "Pamela Landy-gone-very-bad-and-crossed-over-to-the-dark-side" type of character. Weaver's Jean Carrack is sufficiently menacing and icy, but that's all she is - she gets no complexity or humanity like some of the best screen villainesses like Elektra King (THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH) and Catherine Trammell (BASIC INSTINCT) did from their writers. Weaver injects some occasional humor here and there, but in the end, like Cavill and Willis, she is stifled by the script - which requires nothing more of her than to act like your "typical cardboard baddie." Caroline Goodall and Veronica Echegui fare even worse - with Goodall stuck in a thankless role as Will's kidnapped mother, and Echegui's potentially interesting and should've-been pivotal character, Lucia, woefully getting cast aside after a promising introduction. As with Will and Martin's squandered "troubled father and son" plot thread, Lucia's angle could've given THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY the depth it really needed. But, again, the script takes the wrong path and dooms the story to mediocrity - and no amount of flashy action and shaky camerawork can change that.
In the end, THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY lives up to its title - it leaves you cold. Go watch TARGET, INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE, the BOURNE movies, or anything by Alfred Hitchcock to see the right way to make a thriller with a strong emotional center. What a waste...
