(My, my, my, Crash… what a big bat and huge set of balls you have….)
CAST: Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Robert Wuhl, Trey Wilson, Jenny Robertson.
DIRECTOR: Ron Shelton.
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and tricky sports-based love triangles straight ahead.
I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know shit about baseball. I’ve been to one baseball game (the California Angels vs. Who Gives A Fuck) with an old screenwriter friend from Los Angeles whom we will call “Brad Pitt” because he looks like said actor. And all “Brad” and I did during all nine innings was… talk and argue movies. I’m sure the other spectators were ready to bludgeon us. As “Brad” is about ready to do to me, because I have yet to report back on him about the first draft of his novel. Don’t worry, dude. You’ll get it this weekend.
Anyhow, our next review is basically a baseball movie on one level, a romance on another, and a bromance on yet another. In other words, this is one busy flick. But damn if it doesn’t put a smile on your face. Of course, a prerequisite for enjoying BULL DURHAM is the ability to sit still and let a scene unfold at its own pace without getting the twitches and wanting to watch a Michael Bay movie instead. You want to wipe out an entire room of teenagers? Show ‘em BULL DURHAM - whoever survives is an “old soul.” Or a 40-year old masquerading as a high school student.
Our flick revolves around three people who end up forming one of the quirkier love triangles this side of Pepe LePew, The Cat With The Accidental Stripe, and Pepe’s Reflection In The Mirror. They are: (1) Crash Davis (Kevin Costner), one-time Major League player who gets sent back down to the North Carolina minors to coach (2) Ebby Calvin Laloosh (Tim Robbins), a younger and undisciplined player who can best be described as young and full of cum; and (3) Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon), a sort-of baseball groupie who has apparently been, ahem, “mentoring” one baseball player a year for the last, I don’t know, century or so. And this year, Annie has to choose between Crash and Ebby for a, I guess, protégé. Funny how every other place on Earth refers to that type of arrangement as “Fuck Buddies.”
Whatever. The rest of BULL DURHAM chronicles the push-pull one-upmanship that happens not only between Annie and her two lovers, but between Crash and Ebby themselves. It’s Crash’s job to shape Ebby for the Major Leagues. Which is what Annie thinks is her job, as well. Only where Crash uses tough love and hard work to beat some sense into Ebby, Annie uses, well, blowjobs and bondage. How’s that for different perspectives?
So… the big questions: Will Ebby ever be good enough for the Majors? Will Crash be a successful mentor? Or will Annie succeed with her “love games?” Who will inspire Ebby to go for the gold? Or are Crash and Annie working at cross-purposes? Should they work together to train Ebby? What happens when Annie finds herself becoming more interested in Crash? How do these two “porcupines” bridge the gap between them? And the most important question of all: is baseball really as fun as BULL DURHAM portrays? Because if it hadn’t been for the great movie talk during the California Angels game with “Brad Pitt”, I think I would have jammed a hotdog down my throat until I passed out from choking and gagging on it.
Peanut Gallery, shut the fuck up.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: BULL DURHAM is one of those movies that are hard to describe because they are several films rolled into one. As I wrote above, this movie is a sports film, a romantic triangle, and a friendship chronicle between two men - all combined into one. And all of those facets are excellent.
As a sports film, BULL DURHAM nails all the details of Minor League baseball team life. Not surprising since writer/director Ron Shelton spent about five years playing in the minors in college. You can tell when a writer has actually lived and breathed in the world he/she is writing about. It’s like the difference between spending a few months in, say, Italy to write a book set there - and actually living in Italy for several years and getting to know the people, their rhythms, and the culture on an intimate level. Shelton breathes life and detail into this fictional world, which is what makes BULL DURHAM succeed as a Sports Flick.
As a romance, BULL DURHAM is equally stellar. By maintaining a sardonic edge and a skeptical stance, the script sidesteps any potentially corny pitfalls. It further helps that our triangle is comprised of two hard-bitten cynics and one horny goofball. No starry-eyed innocents here. This gives the romances a tinge of reality. Crash and Annie have been around the block a couple of times and know that love, while grand, is also fleeting. Ebby, on the other hand, is too young and too brash to even consider anything more than being in Majors and having a good time. Which is what most young men in his position would be focused on. In short, all three of the leads ring true - and Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon, and Tim Robbins all knock them out of the park. Costner and Sarandon, in particular, make an electric couple. Crash and Annie’s attraction is primarily on the intellectual level, as each recognizes a mental and emotional equal in the other. For his part, Robbins never makes Ebby’s ebullience and friskiness annoying, as it could have easily been in the hands of a lesser actor. Even though there is little doubt who Annie will end up with, Ebby still makes for a colorful foil.
Finally, BULL DURHAM is also a chronicle of a friendship between two men: one older, wiser, and more skeptical of the world; the other younger and more spirited, but also more lost. Crash is hard on Ebby from the start, but it gradually becomes apparent that it’s because Crash wants him to succeed where he failed. Ebby has a natural-born talent that Crash feel he’s just squandering - and their relationship has the flavor of all mentor-protégé connections everywhere: the fiery clashes, the reluctant reconciliations, and the cool indifference that is really just a clever way to disguise a constant concern and vigilance. Costner and Robbins make believable “soul brothers.”
In the end, BULL DURHAM is a tricky film for people who want their movies - especially their romantic comedies - to be one thing and one thing only. Those of you, however, who are willing to let this movie take you where it will are going to discover a classic. They don’t make ’em like this anymore, folks. Sadly.
In closing, bask in Joe Cocker's "When A Woman Loves A Man", which is the theme song from BULL DURHAM. This is in my TOP 3 FAVORITE SONGS OF ALL TIME list...
