Recently, four of the most talented folks acting today celebrated birthdays in August: Andrew Garfield (August 20), turning 29; Amy Adams (also August 20), turning 36; Halle Berry (August 14), turning 46 (although you'd never know it by looking at her); and Robert Redford (August 18) turning 76.
Please find below musical excerpts from some of their films:
Andrew Garfield - "We All Complete" composed by Rachel Portman from the score of NEVER LET ME GO.
Halle Berry - "Miranda's Theme" composed by John Ottman from the score of GOTHIKA:
Amy Adams - "Just Say Yes" sung by Snow Patrol from the original soundtrack of LEAP YEAR:
Robert Redford - "The Natural Theme" composed by Randy Newman from the score of THE NATURAL:
Happy Birthday, folks. Long may you reign, with many more great films filled with great music...
The last of the July Reviews, have posted. And it's on to our August Reviews, with barely a week left in August (ha ha). At any rate, because of an extraordinarily busy summer on all fronts, we've had to reduce our August schedule to five films. Please see the schedule below.
Once the August Reviews Post, we will release our Fall 2012 Movie Season Schedule next week.
# 475 - THE BOURNE LEGACY (AKA: Jason Bourne In The Philippines! Yeah!)
# 476 - THE CAMPAIGN (AKA: It's Official - Politicians Are The Dumbest Creatures On The Planet)
# 478 - BOY A (AKA: Andrew Garfield Makes The Whole World Cry)
# 479 - TOTAL RECALL (AKA: Is It Real? Or Is It Memorex, er, Recall?)
# 480 - THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (AKA: Bond Gets Serious. Seriously...)
# 481 - THE LOSS OF A TEARDROP DIAMOND (AKA: Chris Evans, Will You Marry Me? No, Seriously...)
Please expect our Movie Music Tracks Of The Week shortly, dedicated to four great performers who recently celebrated birthdays in August...
TO ROME WITH LOVE (2012 - COMEDY / ROMANCE) *** out of *****
(Beautiful, gorgeous Italians: take cover - Woody Allen is coming to visit...)
CAST: Woody Allen, Judy Davis, Alec Baldwin, Jesse Eisenberg, Ellen Page, Greta Gerwig, Penelope Cruz, Roberto Benigni, Flavio Parenti, Alessandro Tiberi, Alessandra Mastronardi, Fabio Armiliato, Carol Alt, Antonio Albanese.
DIRECTOR: Woody Allen
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some damn good reasons to keep Woody Allen out of Bella Italia - straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: You have to hand it to Woody Allen. Just when it appeared that contemporary American movie audiences were starting to tire of his bullshit - you know: the whining, the carping, the fretting, the sourpuss expression, the nagging - he took his bag of tricks and crossed the Atlantic to hightail it to Europe. There, he got a really, really strong second wind (or is it third or fourth wind?) and gave us a bunch of films that transcended the standard Woody Allen schtick. Basically, he exploited the shit out of England and gave us MATCH POINT, CASSANDRA'S DREAM, YOU WILL MEET A TALL DARK STRANGER, and SCOOP.
Then, when he got tired of all those pale people and piss-warm beer and rainy weather, he moved on to sunny Spain where he unleashed VICKY CHRISTINA BARCELONA. Then, he felt like getting his French Kiss on, and went to France to make MIDNIGHT IN PARIS. Afterwards, deciding he'd cavorted enough in the third sexiest nation (France) and second sexiest nation (Spain) in the world, he decided to go for Number One this time, baby! Yup... seriously fired up by his adventures in Francia and Espana, he decided to go for broke and film his next movie in Italy - if for no other reason than to probably ogle some serious eye candy for several months. I guess you could say Woody probably got a lot of, uh, woodies during the shoot.
Which brings us to TO ROME WITH LOVE, which, I guess, is Woody's answer to LOVE ACTUALLY - but given a uniquely Woody Allen spin. Which means a lot of people yapping and misunderstanding each other and whining and carping and generally making you wish slamming the heel of your palm into someone's nasal cavity weren't considered assault. Seriously... if any of these fuckers would just shut up for even a nanosecond, they would create a sudden vacuum of silence that would probably be actually seen from space. But this is a Woody Allen movie after all, and he is to overly-loquacious characters, as Michael Bay is to shots that last no longer than 2.3 seconds each. In other words: deal with it.
As with LOVE ACTUALLY, this movie follows several plot threads, each of them about people falling in love, falling out of love, falling in love all over again, then falling out of love again, then falling in love all over all over again - all the while yapping about it like it's something entirely new. Fucking please. Anyhow, our large group of characters include: (1) John (Alec Baldwin), a successful architect who lived in Rome in his twenties, and is now coming back after 25 years to visit again; (2) Jack (Jesse Eisenberg), an architecture student studying in Rome who meets and bonds with John; (3) Jerry (Woody Allen), whiny yapping fretting opera producer who is in town to attend his daughter's wedding to a smokin' hot Italian guy; (4) Hayley (Alison Pill), Jerry's aforementioned soon-to-be-betrothed daughter; (5) Michelangelo (Flavio Parenti), Hayley's aforementioned smokin'-hot Italian fiancee; (6) Sally (Greta Gerwig), Jack's sweet and earnest fiancee; (7) Monica (Ellen Page), Sally's friend who comes to visit her and Jack in Rome - and immediately entrances Jack; (8) Phyllis (Judy Davis), Jerry's exasperated wife who must be some sort of saint to be able to put up with Jerry's bullshit; (9) Giancarlo (Fabio Armiliato), Michelangelo's humble dad who turns out to have a killer tenor voice - which Jerry believes he can use to make Giancarlo an opera star with; (10) Antonio (Alessandro Tiberi), low-key dude from Northern Italy who has arrived in Rome with his wife - but then gets separated from her; (11) Milly (Alessandra Mastronardi), Antonio's aforementioned wife who quickly discovers that Rome is a fucking zoo; (13) Anna (Penelope Cruz), street-walking whore who, in a series of events so fucked-up it could only happen in a Woody Allen movie, ends up impersonating Milly to Antonio's snooty relatives; and last, but probably the least: (14) Leopoldo (Roberto Benigni), simple working-class guy who, inexplicably, suddenly gets treated like he's Brad Pitt by the paparazzi and Rome in general.
Whew. Goddamn. That's a lot of characters to keep track of. Anyhow, who will end up with whom in this fucked-up tapestry of stories? Will John be able to teach Jack some valuable life (and love) lessons? Or will Jack follow his dick and go for Monica? Will Sally find out? What about Antonio and Milly? Will they ever find each other again? And will Milly find out that Anna, the whore, has been taking her place at family dinners? Will Leopoldo find out why he's suddenly being trailed by the paparazzi? Or will he not care and just soak up all that attention? Will Jerry succeed in transforming Giancarlo into a superstar opera tenor? Will Hayley marry Michelangelo? Or do their destinies lie elsewhere? And the most important question of all: what European capital will Woody Allen unleash his neuroses on next?
Who cares. Just make sure he gets the hell out of my Bella Italia for good.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Earlier, we compared TO ROME WITH LOVE with LOVE ACTUALLY, somewhat facetiously. Taken at face value, both films share a few striking similarities: multiple love stories that intertwine, criss-cross, overlap, and merge with one another. They also have top casts who deliver strong performances across the board. Unfortunately, that's where their similarities end. While LOVE ACTUALLY was a droll but sincere and straightforward exploration of love in all of its different shapes and forms, TO ROME WITH LOVE is a wry look at love's ironies, its fleeting nature, and its ability to surprise - for good or bad. The title of the film and its setting, the Eternal City of Rome, belie Woody Allen's dryly comic approach to the stories.
The cast, as mentioned above, is in superior form across the board. Veterans like Alec Baldwin, Woody Allen, Judy Davis, and Penelope Cruz mesh well with up-and-comers and newcomers like Jesse Eisenberg, Ellen Page, and Alison Pill. The Italian members of the cast also match their American counterparts, scene for scene, with Roberto Benigni, Flavio Parenti, Alessandro Tiberi, Alessandra Mastronardi, and real-life opera tenor Fabio Armiliato making their own marks. Although the cast is uniformly good, the real standouts are Baldwin, Eisenberg, Page, Cruz, and Armiliato.
The main reason that TO ROME WITH LOVE doesn't rate as high as, say, MIDNIGHT IN PARIS, VICKY CHRISTINA BARCELONA, MATCH POINT, or SCOOP (all from Allen's recent "European" oeuvre) is because, as sharply as the characters are played, none of them are "deep" enough for us to develop a real rooting interest in. This wasn't the case with the other films mentioned above, especially MIDNIGHT IN PARIS and SCOOP. The danger of films with ensemble casts, is that they run the risk of falling victim to what we like to call the "Jack Of All Trades Master Of None Syndrome." That is, you have a large group of colorful characters, but because there are so many of them, and we don't spend enough time with any one of them, we don't feel any real attachment to a single person.
LOVE ACTUALLY managed to side-step this pitfall with some smartly efficient character development and well-constructed scenes that made maximum dramatic impact with minimum of exposition and staging. Perfect examples include: (1) Karen (Emma Thompson) discovering her husband's (Alan Rickman) infidelity, (2) Juliet (Keira Knightley), discovering Mark's (Andrew Lincoln) secret love for her; and (3) Billy (Bill Nighy) professing his undying platonic love to his longtime loyal friend/supporter Joe (Gregor Fisher). These scenes established a strong rooting interest in us for the people involved because of their straightforward, emotional honesty.
TO ROME WITH LOVE, on the other hand, is more concerned with getting ironic laughs out of the "romantic" situations in its tapestry. More often than not, it succeeds, but at the same time, it curiously keeps us from warming completely to the characters. Which prevents it from fully ascending to the level of a good film (***1/2). Instead, despite a strong cast and game performances, it is merely a solidly above-average film (***). In the end, the difference between an above-average film and an outright good film is the presence of someone to really root for. TO ROME WITH LOVE gives us many entertaining characters and some beautiful Roman scenery but, ultimately, there is no one to really care for here. In the pantheon of Woody Allen's latest films, it is a bit behind the rest of the pack - which gave us at least one character to solidly get behind.
In short, it's not enough for you to make your movie clever. It also has to have some sort of emotional center and genuine sincerity. And TO ROME WITH LOVE, despite some strong elements, is sorely missing that.
(It takes more than a jacket and Aviator sunglasses to be a keeper of the peace, dipshits....)
CAST: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Ayoade, Rosemarie DeWitt, Billy Crudup, Will Forte, R. Lee Ermey.
DIRECTOR: Akiva Schaffer
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some damn good reasons to ban neighborhood watchers - straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: A couple of months ago, on the way home from work, I swung by the grocery store near my place. Armed with a couple bags of groceries, I strolled home. Halfway there, I got a text message from a friend, and stopped on the sidewalk to text back. After a few moments, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up in what my Mom says is my "Sixth Sense Barometer" kicking into action. Sure enough, I looked up in time to see something fucking bizarre: through the front bay window of a house nearby, I saw some dude taking pictures of me through his cell-phone. I could even hear the faint "click/whirr" and flash of the camera phone. Seeing that I spotted him, he ducked out of sight. Leaving me to stand there on the sidewalk, the text to my friend half-written and completely forgotten, thinking to myself: "What. The. Serious. Fuck?"
I picked up my groceries and scurried away, lest the dipshit decide to conduct another unauthorized photo shoot of me. When I got home just literally minutes later, I called another friend (not the one who texted me) and said, "Dude, I totally just got SLIVER-ed by a neighbor! And the guy wasn't even anywhere as cute as Billy Baldwin!!!" SLIVER, if you folks will recall, is the 1993 Sharon Stone/William Baldwin/Tom Berenger underrated misfire wherein La Shazza played a book editor who moves into a high-class Manhattan high-rise apartment building - only to be stalked via electronic cameras and computerized surveillance by Billy B., who was like Dracula, only much sexier and without fangs. I mean, if you're going to get stalked, at least let it by a cute hairy guy, right?
After I finished recounting the incident, my friend was like: "No, dude. You didn't get SLIVER-ed. You got NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH-ed." If you folks recall, NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH is the recent Ben Stiller/Vince Vaughn/Jonah Hill/Richard Ayoade alleged yuk-fest that was retitled THE WATCH because of the unfortunate incidents in Florida this summer. But to be frank, whether titled NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH or simply THE WATCH, the movie sucks worse than a lesbian trying to give a blowjob. But more on that in the BUT, SERIOUSLY portion of our review.
So, essentially, my friend was saying that my "secret admirer" was actually thinking I was a baddie plotting something heinous - and hence took my picture as, I guess, evidence. My response was, "While standing right there in front of his house? In broad daylight? Dressed up in Calvin Klein and Puma? Listening to Puccini on my Ipod? With two Safeway recyclable shopping bags filled with veggies, salmon fillets, French bread, and Pinot Noir? Texting someone? Is he fucking dense?" There was a pause on the other end of the phone, then my friend responded: "Hmmmmm... Actually, maybe you did get SLIVER-ed. At least you know where he lives if you ever want to take him up on it." Thanks, asshole.
At least in THE WATCH (formerly NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH), our dumbass heroes do more than just hide behind drapes and take surreptitious pictures of people walking by their house. Of course, that's if you can count just walking around the 'hood looking like smug, colossal choads in their silly-ass "Neighborhood Watch" jackets, as "more." I think my cats Casper and Guido would be more effective keepers of the peace than these four clowns. And given what hellraisers those two feline bastards are, that is saying a whole lot. Like father, like sons, I guess.
Anyhow, our heroes are: (1) Evan (Ben Stiller), a seriously square Costco general manager who makes Mr. Rogers look like one unpredictably adventurous cat; (2) Bob (Vince Vaughn), a seriously kooky businessman who spends most of his time monitoring his teenage daughter's Facebook usage (ick); (3) Franklin (Jonah Hill), a Police Academy dropout who still lives at home and sees this gig as a way to be the cop that he didn't have the balls (or skills) to be; and (4) Jamarcus (Richard Ayoade), a British dude who joins up for the off-chance (very off-chance) that he might score a blowjob from some Asian housewife one night. Someone should tell him to go to Thailand or the Philippines on vacation, instead. That's a safer bet, dude. And a surer thing. Just saying...
Evan assembles the neighborhood watch gang when one of the security guards at Costco is brutally murdered one night by something that growls a lot and moves pretty fast. Normally, I would guess that the guard dogs of the place are the culprits, but given how BIG this thing looks, I would have to say that it's something else. Somehow, Evan thinks that he and his three "assistants" can act like some sort of collective "Guardian Angel/Sherlock Holmes" unit. Of course, whereas a truly clever investigator would, you know, do some legwork and actual investigating, these four idiots decide to just sit in Evan's SUV in the Costco parking lot - and wait for something to happen. No, folks... these guys aren't the most pro-active or sharpest detectives in history. Not even close. I should also mention that they also end up peeing into bottles during these surveillance gigs. Which means they're not even smart enough to use the bushes nearby. Lord help this neighborhood. These morons wouldn't know a true clue if it ran right in front of them.
Then, one night, it actually does. Something BIG runs across their headlights during one of their useless wanderings around town. Something BIG and SLIMY. They investigate a little (fucking finally!) and discover some weird-looking helmet/orb/thing. Of course, before they can explore it for too long, they are chased off by Manfred (R. Lee Ermey), the insane farmer whose land the big and slimy thing ran into. Of course, when they return the next night to question Manfred about whether or not he's noticed anything strange since the night before, they discover him being eaten - by an alien. Yes. An a-l-i-e-n.
Yes, folks... believe it or not, we're smack-dab in the middle of yet another "Alien Invasion" flick. Despite THE WATCH's sub-sub-Judd Apatow "Bromedy" surface antics, it is really closer underneath to flicks like BATTLE: LOS ANGELES, THE DARKEST HOUR, WAR OF THE WORLDS, INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, and THEY LIVE - but nowhere near as decent as those films. It's a lot like going on a date with a chick who seems cool and nice and sweet on the surface, but turns out to be a raving psycho-bitch underneath. In other words: "WHAT. THE. SERIOUS. FUCK?!?!" You could practically hear the groans of disappointment from the audience when it was revealed that, yes, our four dumb shit "heroes" would be squaring off against baddies more familiar to us than Megan Fox's pout or Matthew McConaughey's abs. As in: "Yawn."
And, true to INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS tradition, the aliens can assume human form - and blend in. So, now, not only do Evan, Bob, Franklin, and Jamarcus have to grapple with the fact that aliens have come to Earth, they also have to deal with the fact that they... could... be... ANYONE. Oh, and these four rocket scientists also have to figure out what the aliens' master plan is - and find a way to stop them before it's too late.
So... who is an alien? Evan? Bob? Franklin? Jamarcus? Manfred? Evan's wife Abby (Rosemarie DeWitt)? Or is that bizarro neighbor of theirs (Billy Crudup), who keeps looking at Evan like he wants to suck his nuts dry? Is he a monster - or just a garden-variety pervo? What dastardly plan do the aliens have? How can four numbnuts with the collective IQ of 78 beat creatures from another galaxy with advanced intelligence and super-duper technology? With these guys as our potential "saviors," is the Earth pretty much fucked?
Yes. Yes, it is... And so is my bastard neighbor if he ever takes my picture like that ever again.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: There's been much speculation lately as to what the biggest disappointment of the Summer 2012 Movie Season is. Many folks say PROMETHEUS, which - despite its visual splendor - gave us two weak leads and multiple setups that never paid off (or make much sense), banking instead on an eventual sequel (that may not get made now) to explain everything. The truth is, while PROMETHEUS was indeed hampered by wan turns from Noomi Rapace and Logan Marshall Green, it was a strong film that was helped by the dynamic presence of "secondary leads" Charlize Theron and Michael Fassbender, and also refused to easily reveal the solutions to its mysteries - and I like that. Then there are those who also cite THE DARK KNIGHT RISES (which, by the way, is an excellent film) because it falls short of THE DARK KNIGHT's glory. But how could it match it, given its complex task of tying up all the trilogy's loose ends? THE DARK KNIGHT RISES was as excellent a trilogy-capper as we could have ever hoped for.
Then there are the Sam Raimi/Tobey Maguire loyalists who cite THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN (an even better film than THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, by the way, on par with THE DARK KNIGHT) as the season's biggest disappointment because of how it departs from the previous Spideman films' borderline-silly comic book tone, and opts for a grittier, more realistic and emotionally resonant feel. The fact of the matter is, THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN gives us a much more dynamic and compelling Peter Parker/Spiderman than Maguire ever did, in the form of the breathtakingly talented Andrew Garfield, who proves that muscles do not make the man - but a good heart, a clever mind, and an iron will. All one has to do is go back to Garfield's heartbreaking debut back in BOY A in 2007 - and his every film since then (THE IMAGINARIUM OF DR. PARNASSUS, NEVER LET ME GO, THE SOCIAL NETWORK, RED RIDING 1974) to see the magic he would eventually bring to THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN.
No, I think the Summer 2012 Movie Season's only real disappointment is... THE WATCH. With a cast that includes such talented comedians as Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Ayoade, and Will Forte, it is staggering to find out THE WATCH is a dull, boring, and almost laugh-free film. Imagine if the much-awaited pairing of Robert De Niro and Al Pacino in HEAT had not resulted in the stellar film that it did - and had turned out to be a banal affair? THE WATCH would be the comedy equivalent of that scenario. This film is a textbook case of how NOT to write or make a comedy. It is one of the films we were so looking forward to because of the four leads, but it is ultimately the one that disappointed us the most because of how its talented stars and potentially interesting premise is mishandled.
Ultimately, the script must shoulder all of the blame here. Quite frankly, it's just not funny or clever. Instead, it feels stale and tired. Stiller, Vaughn, Hill, Ayoade, Forte, and DeWitt do what they can with the material that they're given, but they're on a sinking ship here. While the lead quartet do have a certain energy together, they are eventually defeated by the sub-par routines the script assigns them. Stiller and Hill, especially, are wasted - with both of them getting almost no opportunities to shine. Only Vaughn and Ayoade manage to wring some chuckles from the audience. Vaughn's rapid-fire wit and unerring delivery helps him a lot here, while Ayoade's sexy weirdness and trademark British wit goes a long way in making us sit up when he's in-frame. In fact, these two are the only reasons THE WATCH rates ** (mediocre) and not any lower. Had they had more screentime, that rating might have gone up to average (**1/2). But even if that were the case, we've already had some great comedies this year in the form of 21 JUMP STREET, THE DICTATOR, TED, and, most recently, THE CAMPAIGN (review coming) - and THE WATCH falls short, no matter what.
Another reason the script fails is because of how it tries to shoehorn (badly) yet another "Alien Invasion" premise into what looks and feels like a typical Judd Apatow-style "Male Bonding" comedy. This plot thread is handled ludicrously in THE WATCH, and you can sense that the producers must have been flummoxed by it because of how awkwardly it is handled in the trailers and TV spots. Which brings to mind the question of what exactly the makers of this movie were trying to sell? And to whom? Which is too bad, because the idea of four misfits banding together to form a neighborhood watch team to protect their turf, only to discover a formidable threat that only they can stop, has real promise. But did it have to be "aliens"? Perhaps this idea looked good on paper, and was botched in the execution. In any case, this whole angle fails to work at all.
It's a real shame, because with some rewrites designed to replace the alien threat with a more credible adversary, and punch up the characters and humor, THE WATCH could've easily been yet another comedy classic. Especially with the comic geniuses of Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Ayoade, and Will Forte involved. Instead, we get a mediocre comedy that is, in the end, the true Biggest Disappointment of the Summer 2012 Movie Season.
THE DARK KNIGHT RISES (ACTION / SUPERHERO / THRILLER / DRAMA) ****1/2 out of *****
(Here comes the Bat - chasing the Cat. Let the games begin....)
CAST: Christian Bale, Anne Hathaway, Tom Hardy, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Marion Cotillard, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Michael Caine, Juno Temple, Matthew Modine.
DIRECTOR: Christopher Nolan
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some good examples of how to end a trilogy (I'm looking at you, MATRIX REVOLUTIONS) straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: In 1997, the atrocity known as BATMAN & ROBIN was released - and pretty much killed the franchise that started in 1989 with BATMAN. Not hard to figure out why: BATMAN & ROBIN is pretty much what you would get if you fused a really bad superhero flick with a particularly tacky segment of the Pride Parade. Let's just say that whatever jackass dreamt up the concept of "batsuit nipples" needs to have his own nipples pinched between the claws of an Alaskan King Crab - then have his testicles fed to a Great White Shark. Modest and gracious sport that he is, star George Clooney likes to joke that he was the one who buried the series, but we all know who the culprits are - and they were all behind the camera, folks. Ease up on yourself, George. Your nipples are safe. And so are your balls...
God bless Christopher Nolan, then. In 2005, he directed and released BATMAN BEGINS - and let's just say that it was the equivalent of a Fountain Of Youth Magic Potion for the Batman Franchise. The movie basically brought Bruce Wayne/Batman back to life in a sexy, gritty, resonant way that would've been unheard of in any of the previous films which seemed to be more concerned with being bizarro freak shows. Then, in 2008, THE DARK KNIGHT took the awesome - and made it awesomer. We all know about Heath Ledger's show-stopping perf as the Joker in that movie, as well as some of the jarringly atypical twists like (Spoiler Alert For The Uninitiated) killing off the love interest just halfway through the film - and having the baddie's crimes be pinned on Batman in the end. Let's just say that THE DARK KNIGHT was the DC version of THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.
And now we have THE DARK KNIGHT RISES. It's been about seven years since the events of THE DARK KNIGHT, and Gotham is looking a lot like one of those cities that appear in "T0P 10 Places You Should Move To Right Away!" See, with all the crime lords and kingpins put behind bars in the last film, there's a total dearth of criminal sleaze on the streets which are totally safe - and it's pretty much Halcyon Days for Gothamites. Especially the law enforcers, who are probably so short on work they spend most of their days at Starbucks. But, as we all know, Halcyon Days by their very nature are fleeting and not meant to last. In other words: not so fast, assholes, because things are about to get really interesting again.
Sure enough, a new baddie sweeps into Gotham, and his name is Bane (Tom Hardy). Bane looks a lot like a WWF wrestler who's doing an impersonation of Darth Vader. And he's just as cranky as Lord V. Of course, if I had what looked like a metal clamp stuck over my lower face and mouth, which kept me from using my mouth for various, um, sleazy activities, I would be extremely pissed, too. In fact, I firmly think that both Bane and Vader would've given up their crime sprees if they would've taken their masks off and just, you know, tongued someone. Seriously. Nothing beats some hot sweaty sex when it comes to keeping you looking young and happy - and these two could've seriously used some.
But I digress. Before you know it, Bane is perpetrating some serious shit and who must come out of hiding to thwart him? If you said anything other than Batman, then please leave immediately. Just go. Now. Anyhow, let's just say that seven years out of the baddie-fighting circuit has taken its toll on Brucie Bruce (Christian Bale), and he's just a tad rusty. Hell, more than just a tad. Put it this way: even his "loyal" butler Alfred (Michael Caine) pretty much snickers when he tells him that he plans to face off against Bane. "Riiiiiiiiiight," Alfred pretty much says, "You and what intensive physical therapy unit?" Or something to that effect.
Then there's, ahem, the females. Yes, sir. If you're billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne, it's a given that you're going to have chick problems. Let's not forget what happened to Brucie Bruce's last girlfriend, the lovely and intensely ballsy Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gylenhaal), Gotham's assistant district attorney. She was tough. She was smart. She was driven. She was clever. She got blown up like a bunch of Acme dynamite sticks in a Road Runner cartoon. Bye-bye Rachel.
This time, there are two chicks in Bruce's life. And, true to tradition, one of them is good, and the other one is... well, let's just say she keeps Brucie Bruce on his toes. The goodie-goodie is Miranda Tate (Marion Cotillard), a rich do-gooder philantrophist who wants to take Rachel's place in Bruce's life. Doesn't she know how Rachel ended up? Miranda, dear, do you have a death wish? Then there's the Other Woman: she is Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway), who is a devious burglar who has got the whole cat-and-mouse thang going with Brucie Bruce. The more he chases her, the more she eludes him. The more he doesn't chase her, well, the more she still eludes him. Guess Bruce ain't catching this one. Or will he?
Anyhow, things come to a head when Bane takes Gotham for ransom. Cue Bruce dusting off the Batman outfit and limping into it. I'm barely exaggerating here, folks. In this movie, Bruce makes me look like I'm in super tip-top shape and should be a superhero myself, which would make me the most useless superhero ever because I would only save hot people. Aiding Bruce/Batman in his rescue-and-redemption operation are old stalwarts Capt. Jim Gordon (Gary Oldman), Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman), the aforementioned snickering Alfred, and new allies in the form of the aforementioned Miranda and the mysterious cop John Blake (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), whose past (and future?) is linked to Bruce's.
Then there's Selina, whom Bruce's dick is fairly dying to fuck. Except he can't quite corner her or pin her down - but even if he could, he's not quite sure if Selina is friend or foe. There's a good chance that she is on Bane's payroll, and if so, is she completely loyal to her boss - or just her paycheck? Can Bruce count on her to fight next to him? Or is she pretty much going to save herself - or worse: throw him under the Bane bus? Can he trust that she won't rip his heart out and stomp on it? Yes, folks.... Selina has gotten some serious schooling from her pals Catherine Trammell (BASIC INSTINCT) , Elektra King (THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH), Catherine Banning (THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR), and Princess Turandot (Puccini's opera TURANDOT). Meaning, she's going to make Brucie Bruce work. for. it.... Go, girl.
How will this all end? Will Bane succeed in blowing up Gotham? Will Bruce get over his injuries and return to glory as Batman - and save the day? Or should he just hang the cape up and let Gordon, Lucius, and John take up superhero duties? What is John's secret link to Bruce/Batman, anyway? What ace does he have up his sleeve? Or is it Selina who has one? Will she choose the side of good? Or the dark side? Will Miranda end up getting killed just like Rachel? Should she dump Bruce and find a boyfriend who won't get her blown up? And the biggest question of all: since we know that all Batman movies have more than one villain, and since THE DARK KNIGHT RISES claims to have only one villain in Bane, is it fair to say that there is a secret baddie waiting in the wings for the right moment to reveal himself (herself?) and shock Gotham? Ahem? What is her (his?) connection to Bane? What dastardly shit do they have planned? Who is it? Gordon? Jim? Selina? John? Miranda? Lucius? Or is it.... the Geico Gecko, who seriously sounds just like Alfred? GASP!!! Is Alfred really the Geico Gecko!?!?!?
Whatever. All I know is Anne Hathaway's ass looks awesome in that catsuit. Could she possibly be the lost Kardashian daughter? I though I was the lost Kardashian!?! Hmmmmmm.....
BUT, SERIOUSLY: In the annals of cinematic history, there are very few true trilogies that are also excellent. A true trilogy, contrary to what some people think, is not just three films bearing the same title with a number next to the titles. True trilogies are planned out in advance, carrying forth the themes of the first film, changing them or expanding upon them in the second film, then in the final film coming back full circle to the beginning to close out the entire story in a way that feels satisfying and complete. Setups are made in the early films that payoff in the latter ones. Everything arcs back to the beginning. In short, true trilogies are like complex and beautiful tapestries whose patterns only become clear once the saga has ended - and when we step back to consider the three different parts as a whole.
The STAR WARS films were a good example of a sterling trilogy - until EPISODES 1, 2, & 3 came out and turned the whole thing into a sextology (a wildly uneven one, considering the quality - or lack thereof - of the three new films) and dragged down the original three movies. Then there's the BACK TO THE FUTURE films, but I don't think you can consider them a true trilogy - but rather a series of adventures that were created on the fly as each successive film did well at the box-office. There's also the MATRIX films, which are a true trilogy, but unfortunately the second and third films were nowhere near as great as the first entry. Then there's the GODFATHER films, but that true trilogy flamed out - after an excellent first and second entry - with a flawed and disappointing final film. Then we have the SCREAM trio which, despite their "unclassy" horror pedigree, was a very worthy true trilogy - until the unnecessary SCREAM 4 was released and kind of marred things.
Which, in our minds, only leaves one true contender for the title of "Greatest True Trilogy Of All Time": Christopher Nolan's "Batman" Trilogy. Quite simply, these movies are a stunning achievement in combining bracing action and taut suspense with deeper, more profound themes. Those who write off these films as nothing more than "Summer Entetainment" are doing the movies and themselves a great disservice. Nolan and his brother and co-writer Jonathan have crafted a graceful and elegant three-chapter examination of heroism, truth, identity, and sacrifice - with the themes introduced in BATMAN BEGINS expanded upon in THE DARK KNIGHT, then finally brought full circle back to the first film in THE DARK KNIGHT RISES.
Throughout all three films, the questions of truth and identity are paramount. In BATMAN BEGINS, Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) is forced to have two identities to keep those he loves safe from reprisals from the bad guys. He must be Batman, and no one can suspect that this mysterious crime fighter and Bruce Wayne are the same. There's also one of my favorite scenes in the film where Rachel (then played by Katie Holmes) sees Bruce cavorting with a couple of beautiful women and living a shallow existence. Ashamed, Bruce assures Rachel that he is different inside. Rachel's response is a trenchant and sage one that refuses to let Bruce off the hook: "It's not who you are inside that defines you - it's what you do." In other words, our identities are forged by our actions. This sets up the payoff later scene where Rachel realizes that Bruce is, in fact, Batman and has been acting heroically all this time - and is not just the scoundrel/playboy she initially thought. This is my other top favorite scene in the film, and it brings full circle BATMAN BEGIN's themes of truth, identity, heroism, and sacrifice.
THE DARK KNIGHT expands upon these themes. In this chapter, Bruce experiences some serious internal conflicts about whether to give up his secret identity as Batman - so he can be with Rachel (now played by Maggie Gyllenhaal). He's eager for goldenboy/bloodhound District Attorney Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) to take over the crime-fighting duties so he can live a normal life without keeping secrets from those he loves. Unfortunately, he fails to take into account the weaknesses in Dent's nature - which the Joker (Heath Ledger) senses and cleverly exploits. Here, Nolan expands upon the theme of identity: Bruce wants one identity and to discard his secret one - but is waylaid by the revelation that the true identity of the revered and worshipped Harvey Dent is not as strong and noble as everyone initially thought. This is what makes it easy for Joker to pull him to the dark side after Rachel's death. And in the end, after Batman kills Dent to save Gordon's wife and children, he must assume another identity to keep Gotham's faith: a murderer and fugitive. The overall theme of THE DARK KNIGHT becomes about sacrifice, as Batman must take the blame for Harvey's crimes and death - and "disappear" to go into hiding in order to keep the city from imploding. If it is revealed that Gothan's district attorney became a murderer, all of the criminals he convicted would be released - and the city would tear itself apart. Quite simply, THE DARK KNIGHT is a breathtakingly great film because of the unexpected moral paths it takes us down.
Now, we have THE DARK KNIGHT RISES. Where BATMAN BEGINS dealt with the truth hidden behind a secret identity, and THE DARK KNIGHT dealt with hiding the truth as an act of sacrifice, the final film reaches the inevitable conclusion: let the truth be known, and come what may from it. It's nearly eight years later, and Gotham has known peace - but it is a false peace that came with a terrible price. They have no idea that the hero, Harvey Dent, that they have revered for the past seven years or so is not heroic at all. The real hero, Batman, took the blame for his crimes and is now vilified in the press as a killer. The arrival of Bane (Tom Hardy) in Gotham finally sets in motion the chain of events that will bring the truth out into the light - and return everything full circle to the first film. It's entirely appropriate that a trilogy where the first two films were about hiding the truth repeatedly for either deception or sacrifice, should end with a film in which the truth is finally given its moment. And all the secrets reaching back to the first film are finally revealed. And a final sacrifice - perhaps the greatest of all - must be made. That's all I'm going to say.
THE DARK KNIGHT RISES was never going to be exactly as spectacular as THE DARK KNIGHT. Heath Ledger's show-stoppingly bravura performance (his last full one) was always going to be a tough act to follow, and as the second film in a planned trilogy, THE DARK KNIGHT could afford to go to some very dark and unexpected places and set up some intriguing elements that would wait until the final film to payoff. In short, THE DARK KNIGHT could afford to be atypical and daring, while THE DARK KNIGHT RISES has the more tricky task of tying all the threads of the complex tapestry together - while still managing to surprise the audience. It does this well, and is an excellent film - but just a notch below THE DARK KNIGHT. We always knew, however, that this was going to happen. Nevertheless, it's a terrific capper to a stunningly accomplished series.
If there is a film that THE DARK KNIGHT RISES effectively echoes, it's the first one - not surprising, since this movie's job is to reach back to BATMAN BEGINS and bring everything full circle. These two films share many similarities, but the strongest ones are: (1) "MacGuffins" - villainous plots - that mirror each other; (2) the return to the Bat Cave; and (3) a surprise villain waiting in the shadows who is revealed when it is least expected - and turns out to be a more formidable baddie than the known one. You have to admire the Nolan brothers' exquisite grace in mapping out this serpentine story - and breaking it down into three perfect chapters. Christopher and Jonathan Nolan are master filmmakers - and I can't wait to see MAN OF STEEL, the very promising Superman "reboot" debuting next summer, which Christopher is producing. We expect to see the same blend of gravity, depth, and excitement that he used to rebirth and reinvigorate the Batman mythos.
As for the cast - they are all aces. Christian Bale, as always, turns Bruce Wayne/Batman into a compelling mix of sexy intelligence, dry humor, and haunting vulnerability. Thankfully, he modulates his Batman "growl" here - which was THE DARK KNIGHT's only flaw. Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, and Gary Oldman are, once again, strong as the various father figures/mentors supporting Wayne. Matthew Modine and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, as the newcomers to the group, make their own mark as, respectively: (1) Foley, the cowardly new police superintendent; and (2) John Blake, the brave, mysterious cop who knows more about Bruce Wayne and Batman than he is saying - and shares a surprisingly link to them. Then there's Bane, the new villain. Whereas Ledger as Joker was explosive and flamboyant, Tom Hardy wisely doesn't try to compete (who could?) with his memory and effectively underplays, using his very eloquent eyes and lion-like growl to signal Bane's complex, growing menace. He's terrific, and I look forward to more of Tom Hardy's work. All of the male castmembers, old and new, do themselves proud.
As for the women, Christopher Nolan has always given us strong female roles. Rachel Dawes was a refreshingly smart, tough, and serious heroine in BATMAN BEGINS, and was a breath of fresh air after borderline-comic book bimbos like Vicki Vale (Kim Basinger) in BATMAN and Dr. Chase Meridian (Nicole Kidman) in BATMAN FOREVER. Katie Holmes acquitted herself well in birthing Rachel in the first film, and when she didn't return for THE DARK KNIGHT, the equally-talented Maggie Gyllenhaal took the role and ran with it even more, with Monique Gabriela Curnen also pitching in as the treacherous Detective Anna Ramirez. With Rachel's death and Anna's betrayal in the second film, the stage was set for new female leads. THE DARK KNIGHT RISES also has two of them, and they're both played by terrific actresses.
While no one will ever forget or top Michelle Pfeiffer's heartbreaking turn as Selina Kyle/Catwoman in 1992's BATMAN RETURNS, Anne Hathaway delivers her own, more contemporary take on the character. While she is never referred to as "Catwoman" anywhere in THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, and simply as "Selina", we all know who the character is. Hathaway brings an appropriately feline ambiguity and slinkiness to the role, completely appropriate for someone who is not good, not bad - but somewhere tantalizingly and hypnotically in-between. We have to understand why Bruce Wayne would be intrigued and drawn to Selina despite his better judgement, and Hathaway's sharp and sexy performance tells us why.
But in her hands, Selina is also a very layered and complex character. With exquisite non-verbals and, of course, those expressive brown eyes of hers, Hathaway hints at the frightened, conflicted girl beneath the cool, confident, cat-like surface. Watch for the scene when Selina first gets into Batman's Batpod: she responds with a breezy wisecrack - but her eyes say something else. Or the scenes where Selina slowly realizes her mistake in choosing Bane's side over Bruce's - and decides to do something about it. Hathaway plays Selina's internal conflict - the battle between her light and dark sides - with unerring emotional precision. The reason this role works, and the role of, say, Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman) from BATMAN & ROBIN failed, is because Hathaway knows an interesting "villain" character is one with many different levels, and Thurman unfortunately played Ivy as a one-note (and therefore, boring) baddie. Great job from Hathaway.
Then there's the beautiful and talented Marion Cotillard as Miranda Tate, the rich Wayne Industries board member who befriends Bruce. Miranda is a less showy character than Selina, but Cotillard makes her consistently interesting and the script never neglects her, ensuring she plays her own vital part in the unfolding story. There's a monologue scene towards the end that Miranda gives which is absolutely riveting and hypnotic, and Cotillard reminds us again of why she won that Academy Award for LA VIE EN ROSE a few years ago - because of her ability to say so much with so little. Just like Hathaway with Selina, Cotillard turns Miranda into a worthy female lead who constantly surprises.
In the end, THE DARK KNIGHT RISES is as excellent a final film in Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy as we could've ever hoped for. It successfully takes all the intriguing themes and setups from the first two films - and pays them off beautifully and elegantly here, bringing everything full circle. It is, without question, the Best Movie Trilogy Of Our Time.
BRAVE (2012 - ANIMATED / ADVENTURE / FAMILY) ****1/2 out of *****
(Red-headed sistahs doing it for themselves -aw, yea...)
CAST: Voices of Kelly MacDonald, Kevin Connolly, Emma Thompson, Julie Walters, Kevin McKidd, Robbie Coltrane, Craig Ferguson, Steven Cree, Callum O'Neill, John Ratzenberger,
DIRECTOR: Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman, Steve Purcell.
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some prime examples of women's lib - and fiery redheads - straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: About a month ago, a friend and I were having lunch at a fast food joint and the lady at the counter was, shall we say, a little difficult and caustic - not just with us but with everyone else in line. Later, as we were seated and about to tuck into our artery-clogging meals, I was like, "She's probably just having a bad day." My friend, on the other hand, being far less forgiving and gracious than me, was like: "She a fucking bitch - but what do you expect from a redhead?" At which point I responded: "That's a bunch of bullshit. That's like saying all blondes are ditzes, and all brunettes are smart, and all Asians are bad drivers, and all African-Americans love collard greens, and all Germans are assholes, and all Irishmen are lushes, and all Italians have dicks bigger and longer than the Leaning Tower of Pisa in Italy.... Okay, well, maybe that last one about Italian cocks is 100% true - but all those others are just stereotypes..."
My friend persisted with his view of redheads as the Scourge of Satan, like Cartman in that one episode of SOUTH PARK where the "Ginger Kids" took over the town. I just gave up and ate my Angus Steak Hamburger. I mean, you can only do so much to enlighten people, right? Then a bunch of us saw BRAVE the following day, which is about, um, a redhead - a feisty, tough, sassy, willful Scottish princess of a redhead named Merida (Kelly MacDonald). Afterwards, my friend pretty much turned to me and said, "See?" Then I launched into another lecture about how "a willful, tough, feisty, sassy woman should not be labeled as a 'bitch'!" His response: "Well, if she's pretty, then we'll compromise and call her 'spunky.' Get it? 'Spunky'? Ha ha." Wow. Sometimes I wonder which species of creatures is smarter: straight men - or dung beetles? I'm gonna go with the dung beetles.
Anyhow, as we mentioned above, BRAVE is about Princess Nerida, and it is so-titled because, well, she's kind of courageous. How else would you characterize a girl who would rather shoot arrows in the forest and scale mile-high rock towers instead of playing tea with her dollies and dreaming of her wedding? I guess it's safe to say that Nerida is what we term in modern times as a... tomboy. Which causes her mom the Queen (Emma Thompson) great concern, because she basically wants a Girlie-Girl for a daughter who will marry one of the dipshit princes from the rival clans to secure a peace treaty. No, folks, it's not the most romantic of arrangements. How would you like to be paired up with some random blue-blood aristocrat choad just so your Kingdom can remain conflict-free? He better have a huge dick. Otherwise, the monarchy can just bite me.
Which is pretty much Nerida's viewpoint. Realizing that Queen Mum is never going to back down and will continue to force her to choose one of the princes for a shotgun wedding, our crafty little redhead princess decides to play dirty. She consults a witch (Julie Walters), and asks for a spell that will, ahem, "change" her mother. Let me explain Nerida's logic, folks... You know how, when you were a kid, your parents forced you to do something you didn't want to do? It could've been anything: eating your veggies, doing your homework, going to church on Sundays, or stop piling dictionaries and encyclopedias and other hardbound books over half-open doors so they would come crashing down on your brother's head when he came through the threshold (guilty as charged - I'm not proud of it). My point is, we all entertained the idea of how cool it would be if our parents suddenly, ahem, "changed' and let us do whatever the hell we wanted to do. And that's what Merida is hoping for: a spell that will make the Queen less of a medieval Martha Stewart - and more a medieval Gloria Steinem.
I wish I could tell you that the spell succeeds, but that would be too much to hope for. Nope.... the aftermath of the spell is sure to go down as one of the most colossal fails in the Entire History of Stupid Spells. You see, after eating the "cursed" cherry tart (don't even ask), the Queen suddenly doubles over with shooting stomach pains, and starts moaning and groaning like she's being gang-banged by Russell Crowe, Chris Evans, and Andrew Garfield. She fucking wishes. Nope, the stomach pains are part of the effects of the spell - which ultimately leads to the Queen turning into... a bear. As in Smokey. As in Fozzy. As in Winnie The Pooh. Only a lot bigger. Feel free to pick up your jaw off floor before reading on. I certainly understand. When this particular plot twist occurred during the screening we went to, there was a collective sound of confusion and frustration from the audience that sounded a lot like my cat Guido when he finally realized he would never catch the beam from the laser pointer.
Anyhow, Merida realizes the error of her ways too late. Now, all she can do is watch as the Queen-in-bear-mode stumbles around the castle looking a lot like a drunk salsa dancer, in what I can only surmise is abject confusion and utter horror as to why she now looks like a zoo atraction. But not just any zoo attraction. A very fat zoo attraction. To make matters worse, the King (Billy Connolly), absolutely HATES bears because he once lost his leg to one (again, do not ask). He is understandably perturbed about the disappearance of his wife, and even more confused about the sudden appearance of a fat bear in his castle - which awakens his bloodthirsty side. Meaning, the hunt is on! And he doesn't even know that he is really hunting his wife. Like I said, it's better to keep your questions to yourself and go with the flow here.
So... can Princess Merida reverse the spell on her mother before it's too late? Or is the Queen pretty much toast when the King catches up to her in bear form - and turns her into a rug? Which of the three dipshit princes will Nerida choose as a husband? What valuable lesson is she supposed to glean from this whole fiasco? Besides reading the fine print of any spell she gets from sketchy-looking witches, that is?
Whatever. I just want to know who does her hair.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Recently, a friend of mine took me to the opera. It was Giacomo Puccini's TURANDOT, which was the most unusual and unforgettable of love stories and is now my favorite opera. It was about an icy, aloof, and ruthless princess named Turandot who is pursued by all the men in the land - but she is determined not to give herself or her heart to any of them. Princess Turandot - ever sharp, clever, and crafty - puts her suitors through a rigorous test and trial: they must solve three enigmatic riddles she gives them. Whoever solves them, wins her hand and her heart. Any man who doesn't solve the riddles is promptly beheaded. Suffice it to say, Princess Turandot's riddles are so mysterious and oblique that no man has ever been able to solve them - or survived the test. And she doesn't expect any man to ever do so.
Then, one day, a nameless man appears in the castle - and determines that he will be the one to solve Turandot's mystery and melt her frosty heart. Before you know it, Turandot and the enigmatic suitor are locked in a battle of wills - who will win in the end? Will Princess Turandot's riddles mystify him? Will he end up just like all the other men before him who lost their lives trying to win her? Or has Princess Turandot finally met her match? Basically, TURANDOT reminded me of an opera version of THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR with a dash of BASIC INSTINCT and THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH mixed in (three of my favorite films). Just like those three movies, TURANDOT has a mysterious, hypnotic, and alluring female lead who refuses to play by the rules - and locks horns with the men around her while being three steps ahead of them the whole time.
In her 1990 book "The Heroine's Journey," Maureen Murdock discusses what happens when "strong women say no." In fact, that is the title of one of the chapters. Murdock writes about the complications and turmoil that women face, both internal and external, when they dare to buck the system and go against the status quo. Like TURANDOT, THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR, THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, and BASIC INSTINCT, this dilemma is also at the heart of BRAVE, which examines what happens when a willful and strong-minded princess refuses to follow tradition - and decides to carve her own niche. Princess Merida, as voiced by Kelly MacDonald, is a striking screen presence and she holds the film on her shoulders as effortlessly as any male hero. As Pixar Studio's first female action hero, Merida stands tall next to all the other classic characters that came before her.
The animation of BRAVE, as to be expected from Pixar, is marvelous. The images are at once vivid and dreamy, occupying that surreal middle ground between reality and fantasy. Especially vibrant is the detail the artists bring to Merida's flame-colored hair, which you may sometimes forget is animation. Then there's the sequence where Merida scales a towering rock pinnacle, which is both exhilarating and soothing at the same time. Anyone who's ever rock-climbed and cliff-jumped will know what I'm talking about. Then there are the sequences where Merida follows the "will-'o-wisps" through the woods and other locations. These scenes are created in such a way that the audience is easily transported into BRAVE's world. The animators create a milieu that is almost three-dimensional and visually hypnotic.
However, BRAVE is more than just eye candy. It also tells a worthy story - one that doesn't often reach the silver screen in this day and age of films that portray a woman's ultimate victory as finding a man and having a big wedding. Princess Nerida has absolutely no interest in marriage, but is more keen on finding herself and her own path in life. BRAVE is notable for not having a male lead, which is highly unusual for this kind of film. Even somewhat similar films like MULAN and TANGLED had male love interests to add a conventionally romantic theme. BRAVE, on the other hand, is much more interested in telling a "mother/daughter" love story. Indeed, one of the chapters in "The Heroine's Journey" is titled "Healing The Mother/Daughter Rift," and BRAVE is a sterling example of its precepts.
BRAVE examines the differences between Princess Merida and the Queen (voiced wonderfully by Emma Thompson). One is young, impetuous, passionate, and determined to forge a new path. The other is older, measured, cautious, and comfortable with tradition. The conflict lies in both of them trying to change the other's views. The misguided spell that Princess Merida casts on the Queen, which turns her into a bear, is a plot device to have the two women rely on each other and meet one another halfway in order restore order to the Kindgom. Through the course of the story, mother and daughter learn to appreciate each other's viewpoints. The Queen learns that if you love someone you have to give them the freedom to chart their own course through life, and that is what she must do for her daughter. The Princess learns that tradition and custom also has its place in the order of things, and that passion and drive is all the more powerful and formidable when combined with logic and strategy.
Billy Connolly, Craig Ferguson, Kevin McKidd, Robbie Coltrane, and Julie Walters all provide great vocal support as the various supporting characters. In the end, however, this movie belongs to Princess Merida and the Queen Mother, whose story about healing the "mother/daughter rift" turns BRAVE into a wonderfully atypical story to be enjoyed by the whole family - but especially mothers and daughters everywhere. Go, girls!
Hello, folks... Apologies for not getting the rest of our Summer reviews posted. It's been an extraordinarily busy week and weekend. Please expect BRAVE and THE DARK KNIGHT RISES to post tomorrow, followed by TO ROME WITH LOVE and THE WATCH by Friday, then our August reviews will start posting.
For now, in honor of the release of THE BOURNE LEGACY (a worthy entry in the Bourne franchise), our music selection this week is Moby's "Extreme Ways" - which has become synonymous with the Bourne films.
Also, in honor of the late and great Whitney Houston's latest and last film SPARKLE, please find below a tribute to the sorely-missed songstress in the form of the biggest hit of her career, "I Will Always Love You" from THE BODYGUARD soundtrack.
Lastly, we have a compilation of tracks from the musical score for BASIC INSTINCT. We haven't featured a film score in awhile, and BASIC INSTINCT's is one of the best out there by late musical genius Jerry Goldsmith. Film music should be a representation of the movie it graces, and this score is very much like BASIC INSTINCT (and its villainess) itself: sexy, smart, sinister, alluring, classy, and totally hypnotic. More on BASIC INSTINCT's score when we review it in full next week.
"Extreme Ways" by Moby
"I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston
We will always remember you, Whitney, especially this song. Rest in peace now....
Please find below a sneak peek of our August reviews. Once the last of the July archived reviews post by this Friday, please expect the August reviews to go up...
MAGIC MIKE (2012 - ROMANCE / DRAMA) *** out of *****
(It's raining men, allelujah, it's raining men - so drink 'em up, bitches...)
CAST: Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, Cody Horn, Matthew McConaughey, Olivia Munn, Joe Manganiello, Matt Bomer, Adam Rodriguez, Kevin Nash.
DIRECTOR: Steven Soderbergh
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some prime reasons to outlaw chest waxing/shaving - straight ahead.
IT'S LIKE THIS: If you had a dollar for every movie out there with gratuitous female nudity and casual T&A, you would have enough money to make Donald Trump look like some low-income upstart bitch-boy. If, however, you had a dollar for every movie out there with gratuitous male nudity and casual D&B (dick and balls), you'd barely have enough dough to buy yourself a chalupa and a Diet Coke from Taco Bell. Yes, folks... a double-standard clearly exists here. Why do the ladies get to bare it more than the guys onscreen? Thank goodness, then, for our next review. It is titled MAGIC MIKE, and I can assure it's not about a microphone with mystical abilities.
And here's another kicker: it's directed by none other than Mr. Steven Soderbergh. Yes, folks, your read that right. The auteur of such "deep and important" films like SEX LIES AND VIDEOTAPE, SOLARIS, CLOSER, TRAFFIC, and CONTAGION, is also the mastermind behind a "fluff piece" about... male strippers and the existential question of whether or not muscles makes a man masculine. Fuck the muscles - a hairy chest is the mark of masculinity. It's one thing if you were born without a hairy chest. Life hands you lemons - you make a Vodka Sunburst. You roll with it. But if you're born with a hairy chest, you flash that shit like it's a congressional directive. It's simple, guys: chest hair is like "male cleavage". Display it with pride. And please excuse me if I drool all over you. And it is my sad duty to inform you that NONE of the male strippers has a hairy chest. Not. Even. ONE. Which already one strike against the movie.
But I digress. Anyhow, MAGIC MIKE revolves around a guy named, uh, Mike (Channing Tatum), who is equal parts Entrepreneur, Artiste, and Himbo (male bimbo). Mike spends his days roofing the houses of the super-wealthy of some South Florida city, and his nights rubbing his abs and ass against the female population of same - as a male stripper at some placed called X-Tacy or X-Cellent or X-Men or X-Ray or something. Thankfully, he also sets aside all that cash from roofing and rubbing into a nest egg that he plans to use to start a business making art deco furniture that will allow him to retire from the Chippendale's life - and pursue his own creative endeavors. Specifically, making art deco furniture from discarded industrial parts. That's my boy. Oh, and he's in a "no-strings attached" casual fuckfest with a psych grad student named Joanna (Olivia Munn). How much you want to bet she's writing her thesis on "The Psyche Of The American Male Stripper - Oh Who Gives A Shit As Long As He Has A Hot Bod And Knows How To Move It." I know that's what I'd write my thesis on.
Our story begins with Mike meeting an aimless college dropout named Adam (Alex Pettyfer) at his day job. Unfortunately, Adam gets canned from the roofing gig because the foreman catches him stealing a couple of Diet Cokes from the crew fridge (WTF?). Feeling sorry for the young lad, the soft-hearted Mike hooks him up at X-Tacy (or whatever that fucking dance club is called) to clean the toilets and sweep the floor or something. Fortunately, though, Adam is kind of hot and the club owner, Dallas (Matthew McConaughey), who is a retired stripper himself, decides to christen him as... The Kid. Before you know it, Adam is out on the stage, gyrating in his baggy boxers. Well, it's a start, I guess.
The rest of the male stripper family includes: (1) Big Dick Richie (Joe Manganiello), so-named because he's got a standard behemoth Italian schlong (anyone who's slept with an Italian - or thirty of them - will know what I mean); (2) Ken (Matt Bomer), so-named because, well, he's looks a lot like a goddamned Ken doll; (3) Tito (Adam Rodriguez), so-named because he's Hispanic; (4) Tarzan (Kevin Nash), so-named because he's as big as Tarzan and looks like a gorilla; and (5) Dallas (Matthew McConaughey), so-named because he owns the club and is played by Matthew McConaughey. Dallas also has some grandiose plans to open a new club in Miami, where presumably he will hire even more Himbos and Manwhores.
Soon, Mike is introducing Adam to the fast, glamorous life of a Himbo: (1) dancing until the wee hours of the morning, (2) drinking and hanging out with the female clientele afterwards, and (3) jumping off a bridge fully clothed like a dork into the sea. I am not even making up that last part. Actually, it looks fun. Reminds me of last summer when we did some pier-jumping in West Seattle. Of course, we're nowhere near as hot as Mike and Adam. In fact, I think some of the passing kayakers thought we were orcas. It's only when we flashed our middle fingers at them did they realize that we were just a bunch of fatties rolling in the waves.
Anyhow, a little monkey wrench gets thrown into Mike's program when he meets Brooke (Cody Horn), Adam's feisty medical assistant sister. Brooke's one of those cute but square chicks who wouldn't be caught dead in a male strip club, which makes Mike's attraction to her somewhat of a problem. Yes, sir... we've got another one of those cinematic romances wherein two people who would never get on - let alone, get it on - in real life are pushed together - and we're supposed to buy it. Fine. Whatever. Brooke's kind of atypically cute and Mike's got nice abs (or cum gutters, as a friend likes to call them), so I'll play along.
But what happens when all the glitz and stardom starts to go to Adam's head? Will he forget the lessons that Mike taught him? Will the young upstart try to be Top Stripper? And will Mike succeed in his "Escape Plan" of starting a furniture business? Or will other factors prevent him from making the jump? Does he stand a chance with Brooke? Or should he just continue having shallow, meaningless sex with Joanna? What's so wrong with being a male stripper anyway? WHAT!?!
Whew. It's getting hot in here. I need a drink..
BUT, SERIOUSLY: In our review for THE FULL MONTY (review # 84), the wonderful film that was only superficially about male stripping, and more intrinsically about fatherhood and what it means to be a man, we talked about how you could count on one hand the number of films that dealt primarily with the subject of exotic male dancers. In addition to THE FULL MONTY, the only others that come to mind are A NIGHT IN HEAVEN (review coming), the 1983 romance in which an English professor in her 30s discovers that the hottest male stripper at the club her friends drag her to, is also the college student she is flunking in her writing class. While THE FULL MONTY played the male stripping for laughs as evidenced by its obviously out-of-shape heroes, A NIGHT IN HEAVEN went a more romantic route and was a sort of fore-runner to future May-December love stories like CRUSH (review # 167) and HOW STELLA GOT HER GROOVE BACK (review coming). Then there was the trashy but fun TV movie from the mid-90's titled LADYKILLERS, wherein the top male strippers of Los Angeles found themselves the target of a serial killer - and a hunky male detective had to go undercover as a dancer to track down the culprit. Needless to say, despite being a watchable thriller, LADYKILLERS didn't win (or deserve to win) any Emmy awards.
Now we have MAGIC MIKE, and from Steven Soderbergh, no less. Soderbergh is the last person anyone would initially expect to helm a film about the crisis-of-conscience and coming-of-age of a popular male dancer, but when you think about the surprising project choices Soderbergh has made in his career overall (the Femme Bourne wannabe, HAYWIRE; the call girl saga, THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE; the OCEAN's movies), it's not so surprising. Soderbergh has proven himself to be quite the chameleon who defies easy pegging and convenient description. His films have not always been classic or hits, but they have always been interesting. Like the most talented auteurs, Soderbergh is incapable of making a truly bad film. Even his weaker efforts offer rewards.
So where does MAGIC MIKE sit on the continuum of Soderbergh films? A scale where, at the top end, we have SEX LIES AND VIDEOTAPE, TRAFFIC, ERIN BROCKOVICH, OUT OF SIGHT, the OCEAN's films, and at the middle/lower range range we have SOLARIS, CONTAGION, HAYWIRE, THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE, THE GOOD GERMAN, FULL FRONTAL, and THE LIMEY? Well, quite frankly, MAGIC MIKE can be considered sub-par Soderbergh. But, as I wrote before, Soderbergh's films are always interesting - even if they're ultimately fall short. After all, sub-par Soderbergh is still better than most other directors with their best cinematic foot forward.
MAGIC MIKE benefits and gain mileage from the freshness of its premise. With the exception of the other "male stripper" films mentioned before, there really is a dearth of movies that explore this subject. Another strong factor in the film's favor is Channing Tatum as the lead, "Magic" Mike. As most of us know by now, Tatum started as male stripper when he was 19, before making the leap to modeling, then ultimately to acting. His comfort with the role (and the subject matter) is palpable. He effortlessly dons the skin of this character, turning Mike into an engaging blend of masculinity, kindness, humor, uncertainty, and conviction. Clearly some of Mike's experience is Tatum's own, and he sells the character not just with his star power, but also his ability as an actor. My opinion of Tatum has grown over the years, and he's gradually proven himself to be more than just another handsome face. Without him in the lead role, MAGIC MIKE might've scored lower - even with Soderbergh's skill behind the camera.
As Adam, the "baby Mike," Alex Pettyfer acquits himself very well. The character of Adam is actually quite tricky, because Pettyfer has to play him as an immature, rebellious hothead - without turning him into an unlikable figure. Indeed, during my first viewing of MAGIC MIKE, I was tempted to write Adam off as a jerk - but I realized that would've too simple and easy - and done the character a big disservice. The fact of the matter is Adam is really no different from any young, good-looking man who is suddenly thrown into a glamorous world where he earns a lot of money doing something fun - and is also rewarded by endless female attention. It would take a strong man not too be seduced by that world. You also get the sense that the reason Mike takes Adam under his wing, and ultimately sacrifices a lot for him, has to do with the sense we get that Mike sees a younger version of himself in Adam - and forgives him all his missteps and mistakes because he went through and did the same things himself, before becoming older and wiser.
Indeed, it's the brotherly link between Mike and Adam that gives MAGIC MIKE its emotional push, more so than the ostensible main romantic subplot involving Adam's sister, Brooke (Cody Horn). Horn has an atyical beauty that is like a prism - she can look plain in one angle, and then a second later, from another angle, appear absolutely breathtaking. It's a very unusual quality. She also has a nice, warm rapport with Tatum that comes across in some of their exchanges together. But there is still the issue of some flat delivery of her lines, which mars some scenes. Indeed, she is at her best in non-verbal sequences, such as the scene where she first visits the club - and reacts to the seductive atmosphere around her with an array of expressions that runs the gamut from suspicious and wary, to fascinated and intrigued, to almost seduced. In the end, though, Horn's performance is a little uneven, which hampers the main "romance" part a bit.
Another reason that MAGIC MIKE doesn't rate much higher than *** (above average) is because we never really get a sense of the other male strippers' personalities. Joe Manganiello, Matt Bomer, Andy Rodriguez, and Kevin Nash are all handsome and magnetic, but in the end they are not given any real characters to play. Of the group, only Matthew McConaughey really stands out as the club owner, Dallas. McConaughey has always been a bit of an underrated performer, mainly because he has embraced his "hunk" status and chooses not to throw his intelligence around. With Dallas, though, he has found an ideal role: a guy who is much smarter than he lets on, and uses his beauty to his advantage. Indeed, it's not too farfetched to posit that if Adam is a younger version of Mike, then Dallas is an older version of Mike - essentially, what Mike will become if he doesn't find another way of life soon.
In the end, MAGIC MIKE works best, not as a romance, but as a coming-of-age story. But it's not Adam who discovers his path to manhood - it's his mentor, Mike. By watching Adam get seduced to the dark side, and watching what Dallas has become, Mike realizes what's really important to him, and with his performance here, Channing Tatum shows the actor inside the leading man. Same goes for Alex Pettyfer and Matthew McConaughey - who both take tricky roles and make them work. Ultimately, MAGIC MIKE stands as another interesting and atypical entry into Steven Soderbergh's eclectic body of work.
In closing, it's time to celebrate some inclement weather from the "Weather Girls":
Hello, folks... It was a stunner of a game at Century Link Field tonight, with the Seattle Sounders decidedly trouncing the Los Angeles Galaxy - even with David Beckham himself playing. Eddie Johnson scored early, followed by Fredy Montero, Alex Caskey, and Andy Rose, with solid assists from Mauro Rosales, Marc Burch, and Osvaldo Alonso.
The Galaxy hasn't lost to his kind of margin in over four years. Needless to say, this is one game - and one date - that will be remembered for years to come. Next up for the Sounders: the US Open Cup Final Battle against Sporting Kansas City on August 8. Will the Sounders make history and win four years in a row? We will soon find out.
It's the perfect end to the perfect weekend. We've been so busy soaking up the sun and the outdoors, that the reviews had to fall by the wayside. Please expect MAGIC MIKE, BRAVE, THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, THE WATCH, and TO ROME WITH LOVE to post by Friday. Then we begin our August reviews, starting with TOTAL RECALL and THE BOURNE LEGACY. The schedule will be released tomorrow...
For now, let's savor the Sounders' soaring success. Go, guyz...
A friend alerted me to this set of terrific interviews of the principal cast of THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN, the recent spectacular reboot of the Spiderman franchise that was powered by new lead Andrew Garfield's emotional intensity and charisma. My soul sistah Emma Stone was also key in making the movie as awesome as it is, as were Rhys Ifans, Martin Sheen, and Denis Leary.
Please find below the interviews, where Andrew eloquently speaks of the power of art to save and inspire; Emma talks about the elusive and mysterious thing known as "chemistry"; Rhys discusses playing villains with depth and soul; Martin muses about the power of being different; and Denis talks about the importance of firemen.
And kudos to interviewer Jake Hamilton, whose thoughtful and intelligent questions are a welcome change from the usual tedious crap like, "Andrew, tell us how you get your hair to look tussled but sexy at the same time?" or "Emma, omigod, is Andrew a great kisser?" Thanks, Jake, for being a classy and gracious host.
MOONRISE KINGDOM (2012 - ROMANCE / COMEDY / DRAMA) **** out of *****
(Never underestimate the power of hormones)
CAST: Jared Gilman, Kara Hayward, Bill Murray, Frances McDormand, Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Tilda Swinton, Jason Schwartzmann, Harvey Keitel, voice of Bob Balaban.
DIRECTOR: Wes Anderson
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some prime reasons to keep your kids grounded until they are 45 - straight ahead.
IT'S LIKE THIS: One of the taglines for TITANIC's movie poster is "Nothing On Earth Could Come Between Them." Setting aside the fact that, yes, something did, in fact, come between Rose (Kate Winslet) and Jack (Leo D'Cap), something known as an iceberg which sunk the fucking ship, the tagline could've easily been used for the poster of our next review. Actually, it probably would've been modified to "Nothing In New England Could Come Between Them." You see, our next review is the love story MOONRISE KINGDOM, and considering it's directed by Wed Anderson, Mondo Purveyor of Quirk and Whimsy, you can bet your ass this movie isn't going to be mistaken for PRETTY WOMAN or WHEN HARRY MET SALLY anytime soon.
Actually, a good alternate title for MOONRISE KINGDOM would be WHEN SAM MET SUZY. Sam (Jared Gilman) is an oddball boy scout/wunderkind who has been shipped from foster home to foster home since he can remember. Suzy (Kara Hayward) is a sourpuss little biyatch who yearns to escape from her humdrum life with three pissant-little-shit brothers and two estranged Space Cadet parents, Walt (Bill Murray) and Laura (Frances McDormand). You don't have to be an omniscient being to figure out that Sam and Suzy are basically soulmates, and have been moving towards each other all their lives. Which, really, has only been about 12 years or so. Nevertheless, it was just a matter of time before they crashed into each other and fell ass-over-elbows in love with one another. Which brings to mind another one of TITANIC's taglines: "Collide With Destiny." That's just fucked up, isn't it?
Anyhow, the quiet New England island that Sam and Suzy live on is upended when our two underage lovebirds basically elope and strike out into the wilderness to... go camping, I guess. In short order, the following things occur: (1) Suzy's parents flip the fuck out; (2) Sam's scoutmaster, Ward (Edward Norton), flips the fuck out; and (3) Captain Sharp (Bruce Willis), the island's police chief, flips the fuck out - presumably because he know has some real work to do in chasing down our pint-sized Romeo and Juliet. Then, as if things weren't knotty enough, a visitor from the mainland arrives to take Sam back to foster care for being such a lothario at the tender age of 12. She is named Social Services (Tilda Swinton) because she is from, uh, social services. By that logic, if I was in this movie, I would be named Sex Addict Adrenaline Junkie Mojito Alcoholic Hamburger Overeaters Anonymous. In other words, the chase is on, baby!
So, will Captain Sharp catch up to Sam and Suzy before Social Services does? Will Walt and Laura's marriage become stronger because of their missing daughter? Or will Walt discover that Sharp and Laura have been, um, slammin' pelvises and exit stage left? Will Ward be able to keep Sam from being yanked back into foster care or worse: an orphanage? Why have Sam and Suzy eloped anyway? What happens when they find a deserted stretch of beach that they christen their "kingdom"? How long can they possibly elude their parents and the authorities before their little bubble of paradise get seriously burst? Are they going to wind up like Kate and Leo, er, Rose and Jack? That is, separated by a fucking iceberg in the form of the police and their families?
Put it this way: this is a Wes Anderson movie. Anything goes...
BUT, SERIOUSLY: We went to see MOONRISE KINGDOM with a friend and his visiting college pal. Our friend was also a Wes Anderson fan, so were weren't concerned about him "getting" this movie. However, we automatically assumed that his buddy was also a fan of Anderson's oeuvre since they were good friends. Turns out the friend wasn't, and after the movie, he had only once thing to say: "What did I just watch?"
This isn't entirely surprising or unwarranted. Wes Anderson is not for everyone. He has established himself as quite the quirky and whimsical auteur with fare like THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS, THE DARJEELING LIMITED, THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU, and - now - MOONRISE KINGDOM. This film represents somewhat of a change of pace for Anderson, and even his most ardent followers may have to switch gears a little. MOONRISE KINGDOM is Anderson's first true romance. While romantic elements have existed in all of his films, this outing places the love story front and center, instead of in the background.
Of course, you wouldn't expect Wes Anderson to tell a love story the way most other filmmakers would. The droll and offbeat tone of his previous films also permeates the story here, primarily the budding "affair" (chaste) between Sam and Suzy, which Anderson handles in a sober, almost clinical way. You would think that a clear-eyed and unsentimental approach would diminish the film's spirit of romance - but it actually somehow enhances it. By suppressing the film's romanticism with a dry approach, Anderson and his cast actually manage to enhance it and make it even more resonant. That is not an easy feat to accomplish, a few people other than Anderson could pull it off.
The entire cast is terrific, with Anderson mainstay Bill Murray his usual laconic/acerbic self as Suzy's borderline-bizarre dad, Walt. Frances McDormand is appropriately low-key as Laura, Suzy's restless mother. Bruce Willis tamps down his natural X-Factor vibrancy to play the stoic, flawed, but thoroughly decent Sharp. Willis has a nice father-son/mentor-protege rapport with Jared Gilman as Sam. Their relationship is a nice twinning counterpoint to Sam and Suzy's connection. Then there's Tilda Swinton and Jason Schwartzmann as, respectively: (1) Social Services, the nameless agent of bureaucracy sent to take Sam away to another, more grim, life; and (2) Cousin Ben, another scoutmaster who becomes Sam and Suzy's most valuable ally.
Make no mistake, though: this film belongs - as any very good romance should - to its leads. Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward are talented young actors, and they perfectly embody Sam and Suzy, whose eccentricities mirror each other, making them true kindred spirits and soulmates. Gilman and Hayward mesh well together, and their scenes together are both dryly funny and unexpectedly touching. Anderson wisely takes a "slow burn" approach to their relationship, which makes the eventual emotional pay-off all the more satisfying. The final shot is especially lovely and gracefully brings together the film's themes of love found, love lost, and love regained.
In the end, Anderson tries to make a statement about the fleeting nature of love, juxtaposing Sam and Suzy's fresh and sweet union, with the meandering and stale ones of the adults around them. Will Sam and Suzy eventually grow up to marry - and wind up as unhappy as Walt and Laura. Or will their love endure?
Time will tell. Until then, they will always have their "Kingdom." Ultimately, MOONRISE KINGDOM is winningly quirky and offbeat Valentine to lost souls who become soulmates, the world over. It may not appeal to everyone - but those it does appeal to will relish and cherish it. I don't know if it's based on Wes Anderson's first love. If so, the story makes for a very good movie...
In closing, some music from MOONRISE KINGDOM. Francoise Hardy's "L'Temps Du L'Amour," which is French for "The Time Of Love."
