# 67 - BRIDGET JONES: THE EDGE OF REASON (2004)

BRIDGET JONES: THE EDGE OF REASON (2004 - ROMANTIC COMEDY) ***1/2 out of *****

(Our dearest Bridget, still lovely and still putting her foot in it - even halfway around the world.)



CAST: Renee Zellwegger, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Jacinda Barrett, Gemma Jones, Jim Broadbent, Sally Phillips.

DIRECTOR: Beeban Kidron

WARNING: Minimal SPOILERS and bad tourist behavior in Thailand right up ahead...




Ah, the fairy-tale ending. If only it were real. The most egregious sin of romantic comedies has been to perpetuate the myth that it is. Those of us who live in the real world, however, know better: relationships require work - and after that walk into the sunset usually lies a minefield that tests even the strongest relationships. And so it goes with the sequel to the 2001 hit BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY (based on Helen Fielding's international bestseller): after the "happily ever after" ending of the previous film that saw Bridget Jones (Renee Zellwegger) and Mark Darcy (Colin Firth) smooching in the snow, the sequel attempts to answer the question that Bridget herself asks: "Once you've found true love, how do you make it last?"

As with the first film, the sequel opens with Bridget headed for her parents' annual New Year's Day Turkey Curry Buffet. Normally, she regards these events with the same zeal a death row inmate has for the electric chair. However, this year there is a noticeable spring in Bridget's step as she arrives. You see, this year she has something she didn't have a year ago - an actual, living, breathing boyfriend. And that makes all the difference, thank you very much. Needless to say, Bridget's new love connection makes the event far better than the last one - which, for Bridget, was the social equivalent of Chinese Water Torture and a root canal without novocaine, combined.

You'll remember him as Mark Darcy, the ice prince who turned out to be quite lovely underneath. As our story begins, he and Bridget are picking up from that smooch in the snow and are embarking on the S.S. Relationship. Little do they know, though, that there are some treacherous waters straight ahead. Sure enough, the following things bash against their proverbial ship: (1) Bridget discovers that Mark has a new colleague who is tall, thin, sweet, and strikingly beautiful (Jacinda Barrett); (2) Bridget lets her mouth run wild - wow, shocker - at an important party Mark brings her to; (3) and Bridget's insecurities raise their ugly heads, convincing her she's not good enough for Mark.

To be fair, something else happens on Bridget's side of the street that further endangers the relationship: the re-appearance in her life of player/slimeball/human tomcat Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant), looking even more attractive without that foppish hairstyle from the first movie. See, Daniel is now a colleague of Bridget's at her TV station, which - if you recall - is where she fled to in the last movie when she realized she couldn't work for Daniel anymore. Frankly, if someone I changed jobs because of followed me to my new place of employment, I would be a little more unsettled. Bridget, however, treats this as a minor inconvenience. Big mistake.

Meanwhile, the constant presence of Rebecca (Mark's statuesquely beautiful colleague) in Mark's proximity is further causing Bridget grief, despite the fact the girl has been nothing but kind and gracious to her. I guess a great personality is cancelled out by long legs and high cheekbones when viewed through the eyes of a crazy jealous Singleton. Whatever. This all leads to Bridget finally breaking up with Mark - who looks completely flabbergasted, and rightfully so.

Fortunately, Bridget doesn't have much time to mope and sulk (and you know she would have) because her boss at the TV station sends her on assignment to Thailand. But not alone - she travels there with (wait for it) Daniel Cleaver. Yes, Bridget Jones - recently split-up with her Mr. Right - is going to an exotic location halfway around the world with a guy whose dick should have a slogan that - like McDonald's - proudly boasts, "Millions served..." If you think that these are prime conditions for a scorching-hot, no-strings-attached, let's-just-run-with-it holiday affair, well.... let's just say that Bridget's Thai vacation doesn't quite go as planned. To wit, she encounters: (1) omelets made with magic mushrooms (really), (2) drug smugglers, and (3) a jail full of Madonna-worshipping and Wonder Bra-loving female inmates. And, yes, Mark shows up in Thailand. Probably to see what kind of damage Bridget can do in Asia.

Best to find everything out yourselves. Let me just say, though, that it's revealed at the end why Rebecca has been so, ahem, kind to Bridget. It's the "L" word folks - both "L" words.


BUT, SERIOUSLY: The first BRIDGET JONES film was a worldwide hit that even nabbed Rene Zellwegger an Academy Award nomination for Best Actress. The second one, while an undisputed international box-office smash, underperformed a bit here in the States. It also wasn't as critically well-received as its predecessor. I can understand why, but that's not to say that I agree or that the film deserved it. In my opinion, BRIDGET JONES: EDGE OF REASON is almost as good as BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY. In some respects, it's even a bit more mature than the latter, examining as it does what happens "after the sunset." Granted, it's not as if the film is one big relationship study, but it does not shy away from injecting a somber undercurrent here and there. Perhaps this is why the sequel isn't as well-regarded as the original film. While DIARY chronicled the adrenaline rush of discovering, pursuing, and gloriously catching a new love, REASON tackles the decidedly less pleasant issue of how to hold on to that love. After all, even the most compatible couple can fumble a relationship - nothing is written in the stars. Chemistry and passion can only go so far. Like anything worthwhile, a loving union requires work from both people.

Once again, Renee Zellwegger takes ownership of the role of Bridget Jones. As with the first film, she portrays Bridget as an affable and highly-relatable girl-next-door. We share her exhilaration and disbelief that she finally has a good man in her life, as well as her fear and worry of losing him - that he might just wake up and think he made a mistake. Zellwegger takes her performance from the first film - and imbues it with some appropriately deeper tones of melancholy. As Mark Darcy, Colin Firth is the same combo of cool composure and hidden soulfulness, and he maintains the same lovely chemistry with his leading lady. Hugh Grant, as he did before, brings verve and cheek to the role of Daniel which lends the film the necessary spark to leaven some of the new seriousness. Even though we know by now that he's an unreliable cad, we - like Bridget - still can't help but be swept along by his charisma.

Leading the supporting cast is Jacinda Barrett as Rebecca, the exceedingly lovely girl who turns out to be more interested in Bridget than Mark. Barrett radiates warmth and kindness and her final scene with Bridget has some real chemistry. If they ever decide to have Bridget experiment with the same sex, I can't think of a better person to take her hand. And Jacinda Barrett is one beautiful woman. As for Bridget's parents, Gemma Jones and Jim Broadbent are just as good this time around. As are the actor and actresses playing Bridget's "urban family" of drinking buddies. Forgive me for still not remembering their names, but they have talent.

Bottom line: BRIDGET JONES: EDGE OF REASON bravely shows a glimmer of a relationship after the "happy ending." By doing so, it takes the air out of some of the earlier film's effervescence, but at the same time this gives the film some gravity unusual for a romantic comedy. Some people may not like to see realism when it comes to onscreen relationships, but I do. And as we all know, the work only really starts after you both tell each other, "I love you."

# 66 - BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY (2001)

BRIDGET JONES' DIARY (2001 - ROMANTIC COMEDY) **** out of *****

(Finally - a romantic comedy heroine who is short, plump, and has more issues than Newsweek.)



CAST: Renee Zellwegger, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Jim Broadbent, Gemma Jones, Embeth Davidtz.

DIRECTOR: Sharon Maguire

WARNING: Minor SPOILERS and some wacky Singleton antics right up ahead...




Bridget Jones is something of ground-breaking character. Prior to her debut in Helen Fielding's best-selling novels (and subsequent films), most heroines of romantic comedies were willowy, thin, and would probably react with horror at the thought of eating jam right out of the jar. They were also usually fairly poised and glamorous. Bridget, on the other hand, was decidedly round-figured, goofy, and prone to saying the wrong thing at exactly the worse moment. In other words, she was completely relatable and far removed from the Gwyneth Paltrow/Ashley Judd/Julia Roberts mold that was popular at the time. And this has as much to do with how Renee Zelwegger brings the character to life on the silver screen, as it does with how Fielding wrote her on paper. But more on Ms. Zelwegger's performance later...

Our story opens on New Year's Day in the rural U.K., where our heroine, Bridget Jones (Renee Zellwegger), is scheduled to attend a dreadful annual party thrown by her parents. She has good reason to fear these events, because it usually involves: (1) her mother forcing her to wear clothes that look like a bordello's draperies, (2) eating gherkins on toothpicks and Turkey curry with lumpy gravy, (3) getting groped by predators disguised as "friends of the family", (4) and being fixed up with men who are either dangerous perverts or outright assholes. And it seems that her latest match-up is a sterling example of the latter.

He is Mark Darcy (Colin Firth). Yes, the allusion to Firth's role as Mr. Darcy in the BBC mini-series PRIDE AND PREJUDICE is intentional. You'll recall that Firth's "wet-shirt" scene in that show set off a massive collective orgasm (figuratively and - most likely - literally) among certain audiences across the world - like women, gay men, and people whose fetish is bathing fully-clothed in rivers. This scene, evidently, is supposed to be right up there with Chris Evans' steaming-torso-in-a-towel scene from FANTASTIC FOUR 2, and Russell's Crowe riding-on-a-horse-buck-naked scene from HAMMERS OVER THE ANVIL, and Russell Crowe's walking-around-a-laboratory-buck-naked scene in VIRTUOSITY and Russell Crowe's walking-around-half-naked-in-slave garb scene from GLADIATOR, and Russell Crowe's taking-his-clothes-off-to-get-ready-for-a-steaming-hot-bath scene in ROBIN HOOD, and Rusell Crowe's-- Um... Well, you get the point.

Anyhow, Bridget doesn't exactly hit it off with Mark, owing to the fact that he's: (1) wearing a godawful reindeer sweater, (2) seems to be a prick, and (3) acts like a coat rack was just shoved up his ass with gravel used as lubricant. After overhearing Mark dis her to his mother in such a way that affirms the three items previously listed, Bridget returns to London and resolves to start the New Year on the right foot - which means no more talking to pricks who wear godawful reindeer sweaters and act as if a coat rack was just shoved up their ass with gravel used as lubricant. Or any other unsuitable prospects for a healthy and solid relationship.

Needless to say, Bridget almost immediately falls off the Resolution Express when she begins an affair with "office scoundrel" Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant). Daniel is the kind of guy that every woman's brain tells her to avoid like the Black Death, but whose vagina screams for her to open up for business - right now. It's no shock that Bridget, not exactly brain-oriented, opens up for business - and Daniel is in there like a contestant in some shop-'til-you-drop TV show, buying everything in sight. Or, in this case, fucking. Then Bridget foolishly ruins what could have been a nice clandestine office affair by invoking the "L" word. And I don't mean the one that gets men all horny and ready to whip out the video camera and Jell-O vat. Yup, I'm talking about "Love." I won't scream in terror if you won't. You don't have to be psychic to know this is the start of the down-slope for the Bridget-Daniel fuckfest.

Nevertheless, Bridget and Daniel head off for a "mini-break" in the country where they: (1) run into Mark and his stuck-up bitch partner, Natasha Glenville (Embeth Davidtz); (2) go boating while quoting Keats, badly, and (3) get separated when Daniel says he has to return to London to "work." Ahem. Anyway, this forces Bridget to attend her parents' "Tarts-and-Vicars" party, a lovely British tradition where men dress up as priests and women dress up as street-walking whores. Somehow, I don't think the American PC Police would ever allow that charming practice to cross the Atlantic. In fact, it's probably part of the Declaration of Independence: "NO TARTS AND VICARS PARTIES UNDER PENALTY OF TREASON." Look it up.

Unfortunately, it appears that Bridget didn't get word that the party theme has changed back to a decidedly non-Tarts-and-Vicars gimmick. As in, people dressed normally. As in, Bridget is the only one dressed like a dirty whore. This leads to: (1) Bridget dying of humiliation, while (2) Natasha-the-stuck-up-bitch chortles with glee, and (3) Mark continues to wince about the coat rack shoved up his ass, and (4) Bridget's separated parents (Gemma Jones and Jim Broadbent) play the kind of jealousy games that wouldn't be out of place on BEVERLY HILLS 90210. To say that the party is a disaster would be like saying the Titanic's maiden voyage didn't quite go as planned.

Oh, but the worse is still to come: Bridget flees for the sanctuary of London and Daniel's flat - only to discover a pink glitter cardigan hanging by his front door. Given that Daniel has been portrayed as a (1) heterosexual male who is (2) partial to traditional male colors, and (3) the pink cardigan is not Bridget's, then (4) it must belong to another woman hiding in his flat, who he is (6) banging like a horny carpenter. In short, it turns out Daniel Cleaver very much deserves his reputation as a womanizing cad - which wasn't exactly a national secret. So, frankly, Bridget's emotional reaction to it is kind of laughable. What the fuck was she expecting? June Cleaver's husband? If that's the case, allow me to break the news that you've got the wrong Mr. Cleaver, sweetheart.

Fortunately, just as her "relationship" with Daniel is imploding, Bridget finds herself uncovering other facets to the Asshole Formerly Currently Futurely Known As Mark Darcy. During a ghastly dinner where Bridget is the only singleton in a sea of pompous married morons, Mark not only comes to her defense (albeit, indirectly) but also tells her privately that he likes her - just as she is. Bridget, for her part, can't decide if Mark is: (1) being nice to her as part of a bet, (2) been replaced a Pod Person, or (3) genuinely likes her - which, honestly, just might be the most terrifying prospect of all.

At any rate, the rest of BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY chronicles Bridget's slow discovery that Mark Darcy isn't quite the coat-rack-violated jerk he first appeared to be, and is indeed actually quite fond of her - just the way she is. Which pretty much assures her drinking pals that Mark is in love with her. Bridget, however, is a little unsure. Unfortunately, Daniel arrives back onto the scene like a bored cat busting up a pigeon crapping convention, and Bridget finds herself torn between the two men. While her brain and heart tell her to choose Mark, other points south of her belly button scream: "IF YOU CHOOSE THAT SNOOTY BARRISTER, I'M GONNA REVOLT BY SEALING MYSELF SHUT! HOW YA GONNA PEE THEN?"

In other words, a dilemma.... Hmmmmmmmm....


BUT, SERIOUSLY: I've never read the first Bridget Jones novel, and only a snippet of the second one, so it's hard to say if BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY is completely faithful to the book in plot execution and tone. But it doesn't matter, because the film is such a tart, effervescent, and fun experience that it's a win-win situation: if the book had the same feel, then the film more than does it justice; if it didn't, then the film only improved upon it. Combining wonderfully droll (and sometimes cleverly profane) British humor with an engaging cast that knows what it's doing, BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY is a joy to watch. And the primary reason is Renee Zellwegger's performance. In Zellwegger's hands, Bridget comes across as relatable, real, and very human. A charismatic combination of self-deprecating wit, goofy good cheer, and unexpected melancholy, Bridget is a much more refreshing protagonist than, say, the stick-thin and perfectly coiffed heroines of SLIDING DOORS, SOMEONE LIKE YOU, MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING, and any other romantic comedy you care to mention.

Many critics have cited Bridget's full figure as the primary reason for her appeal. However, I think it's more than that. I believe that Bridget's charisma also lies in the vulnerability that is always just under the surface of her smiles, yuks, and pratfalls. Like a lot of us, she has very little confidence in her ability to be attractive - and, ironically, that's what makes her so damned attractive. Renee Zellwegger perfectly captures this combo of modesty, stubborness, humor, and insecurity - and she's able to make it hilarious and endearing in a way that, say, Kate Winslet is just far too poised and composed to pull off. Also, Zellwegger adopts a near-perfect British accent that nullifies that initial uproar about her casting. Had Winslet been cast (she was a contender, I think), this would have been a very, very different film. And while I love Kate Winslet, I thank the cinematic gods that she didn't become Bridget Jones.

As far as the support Zellwegger gets from her co-stars, everyone is pitch-perfect and dead-on. Colin Firth cannily hints at the fire and softness under Mark's cool surface - and when he completely thaws in his "I like you just as you are" scene with Bridget, it will touch even the most hardened cynic's heart. He and Zellwegger have a warm rapport that make them believable as a couple. As the "bad boy" who leads Bridget astray more than once, Hugh Grant is atypically and refreshingly sardonic. There's never any real question (even if you haven't read the book) of who Bridget will end up with, but Grant infuses his role with just enough tenderness and nuance that you wonder from time to time if Bridget will choose him. The result is a solid love triangle where both potential mates are feasible choices: Mark can show Bridget a real relationship, while Daniel can show Bridget a real adventure - if she chooses to forget the "L" word. It all depends on what she's looking for.

The rest of the supporting cast is aces - with the standouts being Gemma Jones and Jim Broadbent as Bridget's parents whose troubled love story matches their daughter's, Embeth Davidtz as the icy Natasha, and the actor and actresses who play Bridget's drinking pals (can't remember their names right now, but they're talented.)

Bottom line: BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY is that rare romantic comedy that is not only entertaining but also intellectually and emotionally rewarding in equal measure. The Brits just seem to do romantic comedies better than Americans. Then again, this is a country that dreamt up the "Tarts-and-Vicars" concept. Go figure....

REVIEW UPDATE: The Chick Flicks...

Good Saturday all. My vodka headache from last night is still goin' strong. So just a quick update to let y'all know about what to expect this weekend:

# 66 - BRIDGET JONES' DIARY

# 67 - BRIDGET JONES' DIARY: EDGE OF REASON

# 68 - FLIPPED

# 69 - ONLY YOU

# 70 - A GOOD YEAR

Due to my having to be possibly be out of town for part of this weekend, the reviews for EAT PRAY LOVE (#71) and THE SWITCH (#72) may have to post on Tuesday, August 24.



And in honor of PIRANHA 3-D's release this weekend, next week's reviews will focus on horror remakes and the originals that inspired them. Schedule to be released tomorrow...

BONUS REVIEW # 1: SECRETARIAT (2010)

SECRETARIAT (2010 - DRAMA/SPORT) ****1/2 out of *****

(Diane Lane, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...)



CAST: Diane Lane, John Malkovich, Dylan Walsh, Scott Glenn, Margo Martindale, Fred Dalton Thompson, Nestor Serrano, Drew Roy, Nelsan Ellis, Kevin Connolly.

DIRECTOR: Randall Wallace

NOTE: Minimal SPOILERS and the lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely Diane Lane - right up ahead...




Saying it right now: if Diane Lane doesn't get an Academy Award Nomination for Best Actress, I am going to deliberately step barefoot into a pile of horse shit.

Okay, maybe I won't. However, I will be supremely disappointed if Ms. Lane doesn't get the recognition she deserves for her riveting and bravura turn as Penny Chenery, the Denver housewife who took over her parents' horse-breeding farm after her mother died - only to eventually find herself the proud owner of a fast, feisty, and fiery diva of a chestnut colt soon-to-be named Secretariat. This showboat of a horse would go on to break national records, culminating in a show-stopping sweep of the three most important races in horse-racing in 1973: The Kentucky Derby, The Preakness Stakes, and The Belmont Stakes.

At the outset, Penny (a luminous Lane) is your average wife whose primary concern in the morning is whipping up flapjacks for hubby, Jack (Dylan Walsh), and their three kids. Unfortunately, a phone call that most of us hope we'll never get interrupts their chaotic breakfast, Penny drops a bowl full of batter on the floor - and, just like that, life will never be the same again. Penny's mother has passed away, and the family is on the next flight to Virginia where Penny's parents own a horse-breeding stable.

At the funeral, Penny learns from Miss Elizabeth Ham (Margo Martindale), the stable's secretary, that her father (Scott Glenn) has been exhibiting signs of dementia, making the prospect of him taking over the business a questionable proposition - to say the least. Staying behind at the stable for a few days while she sends Jack and the kids home, Penny bonds with Miss Ham and Eddie Sweat (Nelsan Ellis), a horse hand. When she learns that the stable's trainer, Carl Hatton (Graham McTavish), basically allowed the mentally-impaired Mr. Chenery to almost sell four of his top horses at half the price (and possibly because of financial self-interest), Penny summarily fires him and goes on the hunt for a new trainer.

Enter Lucien Laurin (John Malkovich), a washed-up horse trainer trying to cope with retirement by learning how to play golf. Except he's even worse than me at it, which is like saying that someone is worse than Andrew Hung at singing. At any rate, Lucien strenuously resists Penny's offers of employment. In the meantime, during a "coin toss" which is apparently de rigueur in the horse breeding world, Penny wins ownership of a foal from a mare named Something Royal. Penny's secretly relieved that the toss turned out this way, because she believes that Something Royal's lineage, coupled with her sire's, indicates that the foal might be a perfect combination of stamina and speed.

Turns out she's right. And the rest of the film chronicles just how right she is. Needless to say, Lucien has a change of heart and shows up for the foal's birth. To their amazement, the foal practically leaps to its feet within a few minutes of being born - something that both Lucien and Eddie say they've never seen in any foal before. Displaying an amusing blend of feisty fire and cool self-assurance, the horse definitely has personality - and is eventually named Secretariat.

Soon, Secretariat is winning races left and right. However, these endless victories serve as somewhat bittersweet rewards due to the trials that Penny faces along the way: (1) her father's death from a sudden stroke, (2) her husband's growing disapproval of the time she spends away from her family while tending to the horse business, and (3) the frankly unwelcome atmosphere that she finds in the male-dominated horse-racing biz. Eventually, Penny makes a, as she puts it, "multi-million dollar, all-or-nothing bet" on Secretariat: she's placing him in the Triple Crown Derby.

The conclusion is foregone, as history can attest to; however, the pleasure of SECRETARIAT lies in taking us along on the journey to that destination. Let me just say this: at the end of the screening I attended in Seattle (one of the first across the country leading up to the film's October release date) the entire audience broke out into applause. And with good reason. I guess that is the review in itself....

MY TAKE: In the review for MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING (review # 40), I wrote that Julia Roberts is peerless when it comes to expressing emotion without uttering a single word. I was very wrong, and deserve to be flogged for my mistake - Diane Lane is her peer. And how could I have forgotten that? In fact, I dare say that - GASP! - Ms. Lane even exceeds her in this department. Cue the hate emails... No disrespect, Julia fans. I love her just as much. It's just that Diane Lane is simply.... transcendental. I didn't think she could top her lovely, emotionally-transparent performance in UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN - but I was wrong. She does so here.

SECRETARIAT could easily be described as another entry in the ERIN BROCKOVICH/THE BLIND SIDE genre of True Stories Of Women Who Kicked Ass And Took Names, but that would be selling this movie very short. What's interesting about SECRETARIAT is that its heroine, the real-life Penny Chenery, doesn't wear her toughness on her sleeves the way that Erin Brockovich and Leigh Anne Tuohy did. And Diane Lane does not deliver the type of "look-at-me!" performance that Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock did, however effective and Oscar-winning. Nope, Ms. Lane emphasizes Penny's gentle and pliant side - so much so that when her fire surfaces, it is a surprising and utter delight. She makes what she doesn't say even more compelling than what she does - which is pretty interesting already. Penny Chenery in the hands of Diane Lane is nothing if not a revelation.

The rest of the cast is uniformly excellent. John Malkovich as Lucien is a perfect live-wire foil for Penny's genteel composure. They make a potent pair that you can't help but root for, and Malkovich nails some very funny lines. Dylan Walsh as Penny's husband is also responsible for one of the film's most rewarding character arcs - from initially-disapproving to slowly realizing his mistake in not supporting his own wife. Indeed, the scene where Jack apologizes to Penny for his initial lack of belief in her quest - and Penny's heartbreakingly beautiful non-verbal reaction to it - is one of the film's highlights. I dare you not to tear up at this scene - and scores of others. The common thread is Diane Lane's luminously expressive face - which truly has a language of its own. Fred Dalton Thompson, Nelsan Ellis, Kevin Connolly, Scott Glenn, Margo Martindale, and Nestor Serrano all score in their vivid roles, and provide solid support to Ms. Lane and Mr. Malkovich.

While SECRETARIAT appears to be a sport film on the surface, it's really about a woman finally given the chance to run a race - figuratively speaking - and never quitting until she's finished it. While the idea of women forging their way through the world and fighting personal and professional battles may be a commonplace theme in this day and age, imagine how it was for a woman from the early 70's trying to survive in a business dominated by men eager to see her fail - and trying to keep her family together at the same time. In some ways, that makes SECRETARIAT an even more remarkable story - remarkable because it really happened. Remarkable because its heroine is an ordinary woman who dared to chase the extraordinary.

Seriously, come next January, if I don't see Diane Lane's name in the list of Academy Award Nominees for Best Actress, I will really wonder if there's any justice left in the world.

NEWSFLASH: Bonus Review Coming Tomorrow - SECRETARIAT

Just got back from the very first advanced screening here in the Northwest for the upcoming Diane Lane film SECRETARIAT - based on the true story of Peggy Chenery, the determined Denver housewife-turned-savvy-businesswoman who nurtured a feisty racehorse to unprecedented and unparalleled victory in the early 70's.



SECRETARIAT doesn't come out nationwide until October and Disney is hosting a series of advanced screenings across the country to stoke anticipation. And trust me, it's gonna work. This is a great film. One of the best films I've seen this year or any year. Full review coming tomorrow, then we resume our regular schedule of Chick Flick reviews...

Thanks, R & R, for the hookup...

# 65 - THE OTHER GUYS (2010)

THE OTHER GUYS (2010 - ACTION/BUDDY COMEDY) **** out of *****

(Um, maybe there's a reason they're not the stars of the police department...)



CAST: Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Michael Keaton, Eva Mendes, Steve Coogan, Anne Heche, Dwayne Johnson, Samuel L. Jackson, Bobby Cannavale.

DIRECTOR: Adam McKay

WARNING: Minimal SPOILERS and some serious Mark-Wahlberg-Glares right up ahead...




I had intended to review THE EXPENDABLES as part of this week's theme (which might be next week by the time this is posted). Fortunately, we got the schedules mixed up and wound up in a cineplex that wasn't showing Sly Stallone's latest action extravaganza. I say "fortunately" because - truthfully - part of me was a bit queasy about sitting through THE EXPENDABLES. There's no logical reason for my apprehension, just this gut feeling of "Oh, God... I don't want to do this...." And the fact that there's not a single woman among THE EXPENDABLES (except for that damsel-in-distress chick that Stallone's character gets a hard-on for) was another turn-off. Given this convenient excuse to miss out on Sly's testosterone-fest, I jumped on the next closest thing to an Action-Team movie that was on the schedule. Ladies and gents, I present to you: THE OTHER GUYS.

The movie opens on your typical slam-bang-action-movie car chase through the streets of New York. Smack dab in the middle of it are the Mega-Studs of the NYPD: P.K. Highsmith (Samuel Jackson) and Chris Danson (Dwayne "Le Rock" Johnson). Hot in pursuit of some criminal, the macho duo level half of Manhattan in an effort to catch up to him. Even after succeeding in apprehending the perp, Highsmith and Danson are accused by the press of destruction of property not exactly proportionate to the threat posed by the criminal. The pair, obviously the strongest cops on the force but - even more obviously - not the smartest, react to this as it were a commendation to a pair of celebrities. Which is exactly how the rest of NYPD treats them, an organization obviously not as clear-eyed as the media in seeing these egotistical douchebags for the developmentally-arrested overgrown toddlers that they are. Oh, and one of the perks that these two schmucks enjoy is having their case paperwork handled by, ahem, "the other guys."

Those would be: (1) Allen Gamble (Will Ferrell), a milquetoast former police accountant who likes to hum at his desk above the accepted decibel level; and (2) Terry Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg), a former beat cop with anger issues whose dark past includes accidentally shooting Derek Jeter at a game, leading to a colossal loss for NYC - landing Hoitz squarely in between Elliott Spitzer and mid-town traffic in terms of popularity. Seriously Basically, you can predict how the future is going to be for these two: day after day of humdrum desk work for Highsmith and Danson, until the day some or all of them retire.

Fortunately, fate smiles on Gamble and Hoitz when: (1) a jewelry store is robbed via wrecking ball (yes, wrecking ball); (2) Highsmith and Danson leap into action and pursue the perps onto the roof of a building where (3) said perps gracefully escape via a cable leading down to the street that they (4) quickly cut to prevent the Super Cops from pursuing them. Not about to let something as trivial as a twenty-storey drop keep them from doing their jobs, Highsmith and Danson: (1) glance at each other, (2) shrug, (3) tell each other to aim for the bushes, (4) leap off the edge of the roof, and (5) smash into the pavement below like a couple of overripe cantaloupes in mid-summer. Turns out there weren't any bushes down their after all. Yes, folks, the heavens parted, and the angels singed, and the entire pantheon of divinities laughed their asses off and high-fived each other over the horrible deaths of these two dipshits. And not a moment too soon.

You'd think that this wondrous event would be enough to give Gamble and Hoitz the leg up that they need to get noticed in the police force. Unfortunately, it appears there is no shortage of Highsmith and Danson wannabes in the NYPD. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the jackasses had been grooming a pair to one day take their allegedly-enviable spots. And once again, our heroes get the short end of the stick. Fortunately, Hoitz decides that he's had enough and forces Gamble to assist him in chasing down the perps of the jewelry heist, which he thinks doesn't add up, considering only about $75 K or something was stolen. Hell, the rental for the wrecking ball alone was probably over half that.

So, in the tradition of the Buddy Cop Movie, Hoitz and Gamble team up to pursue this thread. Needless to say, the jewelry affair is just the tip of the iceberg of a mystery incriminating a British financier (Steve Coogan) and perhaps even certain folks within the Federal Government - which outranks the NYPD, so I don't need to tell you that's some serious shit. But, more importantly, our two intrepid C-list cops learn the following about each other: (1) Gamble has a smokin' hot doctor wife (Eva Mendes), and (2) paid his way through college by earning money in a decidedly illegal way, and (3) Hoitz secretly just wants to.... dance. For realz, people. I wonder if he used to listen to Marky Mark's music.


BUT,SERIOUSLY: One of the most surprisingly funny films I've seen this year, THE OTHER GUYS is a first-rate comedy. I say "surprisingly funny" because I am a bit ambivalent about Will Ferrell. When he's good, he's brilliant. When he's bad, he's BEWITCHED. Fortunately, in this movie he is not just good. He is great. As his uptight and slow-burning foil, Mark Wahlberg is equally hilarious, getting a lot of mileage out of his enraged expressions towards his partner. Wahlberg manages the neat trick of being funny even when he's trying not to be. Like in the recent DINNER WITH SCHMUCKS, Ferrell and Wahlberg make an odd couple that click tremendously. They own this film.

Also funny are Sam Jackson and Dwayne Johnson as the hotshot Alpha Cops who get their comeuppance in what has to be most satisfyingly hilarious death scene of the last few years: jumping off a roof and getting the not-exactly-unexpected result of being splattered all over the pavement. Michael Keaton is solid as the Captain of the unit that our heroes belong to, while Steve Coogan, Anne Heche, and Bobby Cannavale are all adequate in their supporting scenes. Special mention should go to Eva Mendes for further sharpening her comedienne skills as Gamble's utterly gorgeous wife.

All in all, THE OTHER GUYS is a very pleasant surprise. The movie falls squarely on Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg's shoulders, and they are more than equal to the task. This could have been a disaster with the wrong performers, but the pair prove that comedy is not just about timing - but also casting.

# 64 - SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD (2010)

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD (2010 - COMEDY/ACTION/COMIC ADAPTATION) ***1/2 out of *****

(If Dario Argento ever directed a comedy/fantasy, this would be it. Fucked-up, huh?)



CAST: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Chris Evans, Jason Schwartzman, Anna Kendrick, Ellen Wong, Kieran Culkin, Brandon Routh.

DIRECTOR: Edgar Wright

WARNING: Minimal SPOILERS and surreal video game chicanery right up ahead....




Scott Pilgrim (Michael "Yawn" Cera), the hero of the next film under review, has got problems. Specifically, seven of 'em. See, Scott has recently met Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) a chick who is so hipper-than-thou she changes her haircolor every week and is proud of it. And she's got seven ex-boyfriends who are not happy that Scott's the latest flavor of the month. By the way, the script would have us believe that Scott - your garden-variety early-20's slacker who looks like he has about as much testosterone as Twiggy - is a bit of a ladies man, judging from: (1) the fact that while he's courting and obsessing over Ramona, he's also (2) dating Knives Chau (Ellen Wong); and (3) he's also burned Kim Pine (Alison Pill), one of his bandmates - so much so that she is always giving him a look one usually reserves for one's victims if one was a blood-thirsty werewolf. So, allegedly (very allegedly), Scott is a dangerous heartbreaker. Try not to laugh. At least until this review is over.

One of the best ways to invite a whopper of a bad karma payback is to cheat on your trusting significant other. So, for the generous act of fucking around with Ramona behind Knives' back, Scott gets the privilege of discovering he must battle her seven ex-boyfriends in order to win her hands. Each of these battles are handled as if they were different levels in a videogame, and each ex-b.f. is kind of like the boss at the end of each level. Seems like a lot of trouble to go through for a chick who, given the time of the month, has hair that looks like a either a Pride flag - or a fruit salad (I guess that's the same thing).

Anyhow, Scott's sensible sister Stacey (Anna Kendrick) advises him to next time pick a girl who doesn't have, ahem, so much baggage. But it's too late for that - because the seven exes are now gunning for our pseudo-playboy hero. They are: (1) Matthew Patel (Satya Bhabha), an Indian dude with an awful mushroom haircut whose idea of being threatening is to break out into song while attacking Scott - which, frankly, is actually pretty fucking scary; (2) Lucas Lee (Chris Evans), a smokin' hot movie star who is also an awesome skater and, well, looks a lot like Chris Evans; (3) Todd Ingram (Brandon Routh), a lunkhead who looks like Superman but with bleached blond hair; (4) Roxy Richter (Mae Whitman), more of an ex-girlfriend from, ahem, Ramona's experimentation phase; (5) Kyle Katayangi (Keita Sitou), and his twin (6) Ken Katayangi (Shota Saito), two Japanese robo-musicians; and - last and most annoying, (7) Gideon Gordon Graves (Jason Schwartzmann), some sort of club promoter who's also, I guess, Satan.

Will Scott vanquish the seven villains (well, technically, one is a villainess)? Will Ramona finally be free of her past? Will Lucas Lee make the women (and some men) in the audience cum hard in their seats when he growls like a horny lion? Will anyone buy that Scott is supposed to be a stud-muffin despite having a chin weaker than a headless chicken's? Will the fuddy-duddies in the audience rip there nipples out in rage at having to watch a two-hour video game?

Find out, if you dare....


BUT, SERIOUSLY: Three things will determine whether or not you enjoy SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD, the film based on the series of graphic novels and comics revolving around the titular character: (1) your appreciation level for hipster culture, (2) your appreciation level for video games, (3) your appreciation level for Michael Cera - and whether you can buy him as a heartbreaker. If the answer to more than one of the above is "not much" then chances are you won't like this film. Personally, I don't mind hipster culture as long as I don't have to be part of it, I love video games, and - lastly - I'm sure Michael Cera is a nice guy but he's not my idea of a serial monogamist. And his "earnest hipster boy next door" schtick is getting old. Really old. As in I refuse to see a movie he's in from now on unless he's playing a transvestite hooker or a serial killer. He's merely adequate here. Not bad, not great. Just.... Michael Cera.

Fortunately, the supporting cast around him pick up the slack. Mary Elizabeth Winstead is suitably cool, complex, and composed as the mysterious and aloof object of Scott' s affections. Chris Evans is probably the most memorable of the bad guys, and gamely spoofs his image as a movie star. Too bad he doesn't have much screen time. Jason Schwartzman is hilarious as the main villain, while Brandon Routh scores some laughs as a vegan doofus who is yet another one of Ramona's exes. The actors playing the rest of the exes are all solid - especially Satya Bhabha as the singing Matt Patel. Of the other players, Anna Kendrick, Alison Pill, and Kieran Culkin are all very good as, respectively: (1) Scott's younger sister, Stacey, who seems to be light years ahead of Scott in maturity and wisdom (then again Kendrick has that air about her); (2) one of Scott's numerous (I call bullshit) ex-girlfriends who still has a major grudge against him; and (3) Scott's gay roommate, whose specialty is, ahem, seducing straight guys to the dark side.

Another plus are the fight scenes, which are dazzlingly realized. Even if Michael Cera is ultimately blank in the leading role, the propulsive plot and surreal visuals give the movie the otherworldly feel of a dream and the adrenaline rush of a videogame. These elements, coupled with a terrific supporting cast, is what makes SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD a good film.

Now, if only they'd cast a more potent actor as Scott, we might have a modern classic on our hands. Oh, well....