(Just think of her as the world's oldest roommate)
CAST: Allen Covert, Linda Cardellini, Doris Roberts, Kevin Nealon, Peter Dante, Shirley Jones, Shirley Knight, Nick Swardson,
DIRECTOR: Nicholaus Goosen
WARNING: SPOILERS and rudely interrupted masturbation up ahead...
Recently, a friend whom I will call, ahem, Clark Kent mentioned that he was thinking about temporarily moving back home with his Dad. Regarding Clark as somewhat of a crazy little brother I never had, whom I wanted to steer in the right direction, I told him I thought this was an excellent idea, because it would (1) allow him to save a lot of money, (2) allow him to give his Dad - who sounds like a really great guy - some company, (3) and give him someone to do his laundry and cooking.
Fortunately, Clark subsequently decided to move instead into his own place on Capitol Hill, where I'm sure his flat will turn into Party Central - as it should be. Because what's the point of being young, talented, and good-looking if you can't have fun with it? In fact, I was secretly relieved that he didn't listen to me because, let's face it, in this country nothing ruins your game more than saying to your girlfriend, "My Dad's sleeping so keep it down!" just as she's about to come like the Fourth of July.
That said, with Clark safely on the right track to a healthy social life, I turn to reviewing our next film - which is about.... a dude who moves back home with his grandmother - yet somehow manages to keep his game. Obviously, this is science fiction of the highest order. By the way, in case you're wondering who recommended this movie to me, that would be none other than the crazy little brother I never had - Clark Kent. Given that Clark's other favorite movie is FAILURE TO LAUNCH, that other movie about a grown dude living with his parents, it's probably a good thing he didn't move back home. Who knows what would've happened. He might have celebrated his 80th birthday there. And his parents might have lynched me.
Our hero is Alex (Allen Covert), a video game tester whose main character traits are: (1) playing video games at home when he isn't playing them at work, (2) arguing with his roommate, and (3) smoking marijuana like it's about to be outlawed. Hmmmmm. Wait, a minute.... Never mind. Anyhow, Alex's cozy (and baked) existence is rudely turned upside down when he discovers his argumentative roommate whom he has been giving his rent money to, has been: (1) not paying rent, (2) going down to a local brothel filled with Philippine hookers, (3) giving them the rent money, (4) and fucking them senseless.
As a result, Alex's landlord (Rob Schneider) pretty much throws Allen and his pervert/dirtbag/deadbeat roommate onto the sidewalk. But whereas the pervert/dirtbag/deadbeat roommate has his Philippine hookers to shack up with, Alex only has his whacked out friends to turn to. They are: (1) Dante (Peter Dante), a stoner extraordinaire so in love with self-tanning lotion and bronzer that his butt is more brown than your average Samoan's face; (2) Jeff (Nick Swardson), a co-worker who still lives at home and refers to his parents as his "roommates"; (3) and.... well, I guess it's just Dante and Jeff.
Anyhow, not really feeling like staring at Dante's overly-baked (in more ways than one) ass, Alex decides to spend the night at Jeff's place. Which rapidly turns out to be a bad decision when he finds Jeff wearing kiddie jammies and bouncing on his car-bed like either the world's largest ten-year-old or your average retard.
Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on the way you look at it), Alex destroys his welcome at Jeff's house by - I swear I am not making this up - deciding to... jack off to a Barbie doll. Yes. He decides. To masturbate. To a fucking Barbie Doll. The only thing that could make it more twisted is if, let's see, Jeff's mother were to walk in unexpectedly - and Alex were to be so far gone that he uncontrollably jizzes all over her nightgown. Which is exactly what happens. They definitely went there. Or, more appropriately, they (1) went there, (2) bought a lot of property, (3) built a mansion, (4) and threw a pool party. If you don't believe me, watch the goddamn movie for yourself.
Needless to say, Alex finds himself spending the night elsewhere. As in, at the office - where he doesn't even merit a cubicle, so much as a mere corner to fester in. The next morning, he is awakened by a vision in a business suit: Samantha (Linda Cardellini), standing before him. Samantha tells him that she has been transferred temporarily from their New York branch to oversee the final development stages of ETERNAL DEATH SLAYER 3 - the company's latest potential cash-cow. Smitten, Alex ogles her ass as she walks away, obviously thinking it's much, much, much, much bigger than the one he whacked off to the night before.
Throughout the course of the day, we get to meet Alex's other co-workers - chief among them: (1) Alex's boss, Cheezle (Kevin Nealon), a whackjob who is way into Eastern philosophy; and (2) J.P. (Joel Moore), a whackjob who is the resident "genius" but also somehow lacking self-awareness - as in he's unaware what a bizarre weirdo (I know that's redundant) he is, walking around with a slicked back-do, wearing sub-Matrix clothing, and beeping like a malfunctioning robot that was slapped around too much by its impatient owner.
Oh, and to top things off, Jeff - clearly the loyalest best friend ever - blabs to everyone about Alex's, um, oil spill in the bathroom the night before - and how it splashed all over his mom. Wow. I would've at least changed her identity or something. But whatever. At any rate, this turns Alex into a laughingstock at work. But he's got bigger problems that that - such as where is he going to sleep tonight? Obviously, Jeff's place is out of the question now - unless Jeff's mom somehow enjoyed the sensation of semen splattering all over her. Personally, I don't see what the big deal is. Hasn't the bitch heard it's a great source of protein?
Salvation comes in the form of... Alex's grandma (Doris Roberts) and her two roommates (Shirley Jones and Shirley Knight). The old biddies welcome Alex into their domicile with opens arms. At first, it's like a dream come true: there's always food in the fridge, there's always clean laundry and towels, and there's no curfew. It's like I explained it to Clark Kent - who, thankfully, is much smarter than me and realized that all these things come at a price.
And sure enough, Alex finds himself being risen at the ungodly hour of six A.M. and having to do... chores. As if things weren't complicated enough, he also finds himself in a flirtation with his erstwhile boss Samantha, who is actually turning out to be pretty cool, as evidenced by her: (1) making googley eyes at Alex, (2) treating her subordinates like their her little brothers, and (3) letting Alex get away with farting in the middle of a meeting.
Unfortunately, someone else has a crush on Samantha, and if you guessed it's that Matrix/Star Wars reject J.P., then you probably already saw this movie. Schmuck. Needless to say, J.P. doesn't take kindly to Alex's growing stature in Samantha's eyes - and plots his revenge...
The bulk of the film chronicles this strange chapter in Alex's life as he settles in with The Golden Girls and basically exerts his influence on them. Which basically means that, eventually, they end up being stoners, too. This happens when Grammy mistakes Alex's marijuana for some exotic tea and brews a pot (no pun intended) of the shit - and serves it to her pals. Needless to say, this results in the old women doing the following: (l) being hypnotized by a Spanish TV show, (2) rolling around in hysterical laughter at the dude‘s accent, (2) demanding beer from Alex and his friends when they walk in the door, (4) and one of the old biddies sleeping with Jeff, who afterwards compares her pussy to "The Great Depression." Hmmm. Intriguing.
This also leads to a huge house party, with even that stoner extraordinaire Dante showing up to regal the guests with his Stoned Frankenstein routine. Just see it. This also leads to Alex and Samantha growing closer. We also learn that Alex has been secretly working on the development of his own video game called DEMONIC - which Grammy gets hooked on and become terrifyingly good at.
Sadly, Alex makes the mistake of sharing his secret with J.P., who finds the tool for vengeance that he's been looking for. Even though he has no hope in holy hell of making it sound plausible, J.P. steals the games and passes it off as his own. As you can imagine, this doesn't really go over well with Alex who responds by: (1) calling J.P. a "Robo-Bitch", (2) frothing at the mouth, (3) and launching himself across the table at the Matrix whackjob.
Fortunately, all the time Grammy clocked playing DEMONIC comes in handy when Samantha solicits her help in proving that the game was really Alex's invention. They challenge J.P. in a gaming tournament to see if he can prove his knowledge of his game. It's not a shocking plot twist that J.P. gets his ass handed to him - and by a senior citizen, no less. Victorious, Alex pretty much drop-kicks J.P. out of the conference room and invites all of his pals to Dante's basement where they (what else) smoke a huge bowl as an elephant rampages upstairs. Yes, an elephant. Like I said, just see it for yourself.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: I noticed on IMDB.COM that my fellow critics - both professional and armchair, like me - generally gave low marks to GRANDMA'S BOY. While I can understand how some people might look at this film and find it low-brow, offensive, and unfunny, what they can't deny it is its boldness. It's not afraid to offend. And perhaps I'm just a little cracked (okay, more than a little), but I admire that. What also helps is the script and direction which are somehow both laid-back and confident - as if the writers and director knew that they weren't telling some Oscar-bait story, but something intended to make us laugh out loud. And laugh out loud, I did. Which is why I rate this film fairly high.
It really helps that the cast attack their roles with self-assurance and gusto. Allen Covert is the right blend of dry and hilarious as Alex. Linda Cardellini is very appealing as Samantha, and lends the character a frankness that is both alluring and refreshing. Joel Moore as the Matrix freak-geek J.P. is appropriately annoying and pathetic - so much so that you crave his comeuppance and cheer it when it comes. Kevin Nealon is merely okay as Cheezle, but his screen time is thankfully limited. Nick Swardson and Peter Dante as Jeff and Dante, respectively, steal most of their scenes. As the old ladies of the house, Doris Roberts, Shirley Jones, and Shirley Knight more than hold their own against the younger folk - especially Roberts. Rob Schneider and David Spade also make memorable cameos. In the end, it's the commitment of the cast to this material - however sophomoric - that pushes GRANDMA'S BOY above average.
Verdict - GRANDMA’S BOY is rude, offensive, and vulgar. And I loved it. It's kind of like chemistry between two people. You either click or you don't. No words or logic can explain it. If you click, you just run with it and have fun. And I clicked with this movie. And, boy, was it fun.
