(At the rate that people are dying over that goddamn book, it better be more entertaining than the Harry Potter series...)
CAST: Anthony Franciosa, John Saxon, Daria Nicolodi, John Steiner, Giuliano Gemma, Veronica Lario, Mirella D'Angelo, Ania Pieroni, Lara Wendel.
DIRECTOR: Dario Argento
NOTE: Minimal SPOILERS and way overlit scenes up ahead. This is the Dario Argento movie that you want to be in the dark about... Trust moi.
Following the disappointing worldwide performance of INFERNO in 1980 - not to the mention the reportedly challenging working relationship with Twentieth Century Fox - Dario Argento decided to return to Italy and his "Giallo" roots. Leaving behind witchcraft, alchemy, and the supernatural, Argento dove back into the world of byzantine mysteries, black-gloved killers, and surprise endings. The last time "The Italian Hitchcock" took a sabbatical from the Giallo genre was after FOUR FLIES ON GREY VELVET in 1972, and he returned full-force with DEEP RED in 1975 - and that became a classic Giallo whose influence was so widespread that George Romero is planning to remake it. Similarly, in 1982 - after a taking a turn into supernatural territory with the classic SUSPIRIA and the would-be classic INFERNO - Argento returned to the Giallo genre in strong form. The result: the handsome, sleek, and chilly TENEBRAE - a Giallo far removed from DEEP RED's colorful and baroque atmosphere, but very similar in driving suspense, tension, and particularly jaw-dropping final twist.
The film opens by a cozy fireplace, with our unseen killer reading a book called, ahem, TENEBRAE. Please note the our killer wears his black gloves not only when he's killin' but also when he's chillin'. Now that's dedication. Guess he doesn't want to leave fingerprints on his own books. Anyhow, TENEBRAE must not be particularly compelling because he soon throws the damn thing into the fire. Which is pretty much what I did after reaching the halfway mark of THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY (Note that I loved the Clint-Meryl movie. But the book? Ugh...).
We cut to TENEBRAE's author, Peter Neal (Anthony Franciosa), who is getting ready to leave New York for a press junket in Rome. His trip gets off to an inauspicious start, partly because of his own stupidity. You see, our protagonist does the very thing that they only repeat over and over again on the goddamned airport PA system in 50 different languages: he leaves his luggage unattended. Which gives two chicks nearby the opportunity to do terrible things to it. Of course, Peter won't find this out until he lands in Italy. Oh, and who are the two psycho biyatches who played volleyball with his bags? Patience, guys, patience. The explanation is hilarious.
Anyhow, Peter arrives in Rome to be greeted by the following people: 1) His agent, Bulmer (John Saxon), a guy convinced that his new hat is the coolest, hippest, chicest thing (it isn't); (2) Anne (Daria Nicolodi), Peter's secretary who is obviously dedicated to her boss, judging from the never-ending googley eyes she throws him and constant stream of breathy "Oh, Peter..." bubbling out of her mouth; (3) Gianni (Cristian Borromeo), an intern for Bulmer's agency who is basically a gopher for Peter - only with less dignity; (4) Cristiano (John Steiner), a TV show host with a falsetto voice who's eager to interview Peter; (5) and Tilde, Peter's sweet protege whom he's known since she was a college student in New York. Unfortunately, at the press conference, Tilde suddenly grows fangs, horns, and barbed tail and catches Peter off-guard by accusing him of being a sexist pig who portrays his female characters negatively. To his credit, Peter response with grace and tact to this baffling 180 degree turn from Adoring Friend to Deranged Banshee from the Seventh Circle of Hell. But you just know he wanted to body-slam her into the floor and call her the "C" word. No, not "charming."
As if Peter's first few hours weren't trying enough, Peter arrives at his flat to discover Inspector Germani (Giuliano Gemma) and Inspector Altieri (Carola Stagnaro), two of Rome's not-so-finest, waiting to question our best-selling author. See, it turns out that while Peter's plane was in the air a few hours ago, a shoplifter in Rome stole a copy of TENEBRAE - and got her throat cut in her flat, with the killer stuffing pages of the book into her mouth. So far we've seen two copies of TENEBRAE destroyed in some awful way - and that's before the book critics have even weighed in. In fact, you'd be forgiven for suspecting that the killer is someone from The New York Times Book Review. I mean, if I had to review crappy book after crappy book, I think I'd attack someone, too.
Peter is rightfully baffled as to why he's being questioned in connection with the shoplifter's murder. Indeed, he quips the following to the our cops: "If someone is killed with a Smith and Wesson revolver, do you go and interview the CEO of Smith and Wesson?" And being an Italian cop, Germani probably wants to say, "Can we do that?" But, nope, he and Altieri just ask for some... scotch, stating that they only drink while on duty. It's becoming clearer and clearer why Sherlock Holmes is not Italian. Sobriety is kind of an important pre-requisite to sharp detective skills. But then again, Sherlock Holmes was probably ugly - and if he'd been Italian, he'd be fucking gorgeous. But probably wouldn't have solved too many mysteries, so it's a bit of a trade-off, eh? Anyway, before the cops can drink themselves further into oblivion, the killer decides to earn his pay and calls up to Peter's flat where he proceeds to: (1) giggle like a pansy, (2) call TENEBRAE a terrible book, (3) threaten Peter and (4) everyone else associated with him, and then (5) abruptly hang up when Peter - the rocket scientist - pretty much gives away the presence of Germani and Altieri standing nearby. Don't know what the killer was worried about, since Germani and Altieri have about as much deductive intelligence as a balled-up Kit Kat wrapper.
Anyhow, this begins an eventful stay for Peter in Rome, as the killer proceeds to make life an utter pain for him by : (1) killing Tilde and her lesbian lover Marion (Mirella Banti) after a hilarious lover's quarrel that has to be seen to be believed, (2) killing Maria (Lara Wendel) the landlord's daughter, (3) and continuing to call Peter and giggle like a pansy. All this over a book that sucked. Perhaps someone should suggest to the killer to just, I don't know, return the fucking thing to the local Italian version of Barnes and Noble. And if he doesn't have his receipt, they can give him store credit. But this wouldn't be a Dario Argento film if such a peaceful option was, well, an option. Fighting back, Peter enlists the aid of Anne and Gianni to try to uncover the identity of his stalker/killer/disgruntled fan. Oh, and it also appears that Peter's psycho ex-girlfriend Jane (Veronica Lario) may have followed him to Rome. By the way, Jane is one of the two chicks that (rightfully) trashed Peter's unattended luggage back in New York.
This is where the plot breakdown ends, as TENEBRAE has a truly genius twist that is the cinematic equivalent of slamming back an entire bottle of Cuervo Gold Tequila - in one chug. Only you don't wake up face-down on a pool table the next day, with a bald spot on one side of your head, and your hands tied to a pool stick. Ahem.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: After the surreal and ultimately frustrating meanderings of INFERNO, TENEBRAE was like a bracing jump into a cold lake. Ambitious, clever, propulsive, and coldly beautiful, it was a Giallo with a steel edge - literally, if you think of the killer's straight razor. Argento's last Giallo was the classic DEEP RED, which was baroque, grand, and dark - all at the same time. TENEBRAE is a different beast - at least on the surface: all modern buildings, glass and steel flats, white decor, and a minimalist score that is both chilly and hypnotic at the same time. Argento obviously wanted to take the Giallo out of the darkness and into the light - and in doing so, he made the terror all the more immediate.
Special mention should be made of the script which, for an Argento movie, is carefully planned out - and not just cleverly. The setpieces are terrifying and build expertly on one another, the best being the attack on Tilde and Marion. A close second is the death of a major character (not telling who) in the middle of a busy plaza. Vintage Argento, which nails his theme that death can strike anyone - anywhere. The final 15 minutes, while being a little talky here and there, is still one of the strongest thriller endings out there. Like I said, your jaw will drop. Let's just say that this twist has been recycled in some recent American thrillers - but TENEBRAE did it first.
Anthony Franciosa delivers a strong, complex performance as Peter Neal, getting able support from everyone around him. John Saxon as the sleazy agent Bulmer is a good second-fiddle, while Daria Nicolodi turns Anne into a nice combo of down-to-earth pragmatism and cool self-assurance. Mirella D'Angelo makes a strong impression as Tilde. Too bad she departs the action (via straight razor) way too soon. Everyone else is competent, and the entire cast is physically stunning - especially the women. Then again, these are Italians we're talking about here. The sheer beauty on parade adds to this film's slick aura.
Bottom line: TENEBRAE is as good as DEEP RED. As Giallos, they are as different as can be - but only on the surface. While DEEP RED was warm in aesthetics, tone, and feel, TENEBRAE is sleek, clinical, and chilly - like a modern steel sculpture compared to a more classical marble one. Underneath, though, they are both compelling and suspenseful thrillers with breath-taking final twists that were way ahead of their time - and much-imitated.
Bravo, Dario! You crazy, beautiful Italian...
