(Was that really whipped cream on Chris Evans' body? Or was it underwear made to look like the texture of whipped cream? Or was it regular underwear topped with whipped cream? Or was it--)
CAST: Chris Evans, Chyler Leigh, Jaime Pressley, Mia Kirshner, Eric Christian Olsen, Eric Jungmann, Deon Richmond, Lacey Chabert.
DIRECTOR: Joel Gullen
WARNING: Minimal SPOILERS and imaginative uses for whipped cream right up ahead....
It was bound to happen. Sooner or later, the endless glut of teen-oriented films was going to wear out its welcome, prompting someone to slap his head and exclaim: "Not another teen movie!" And it was only a matter of time before that exclamation became the title of a film intended to viciously spoof the glut of teen-oriented films. NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE basically takes every notable teen film since the 80's, tosses 'em into the cinematic blender, dumps a pint of everclear and some crack for good measure - the blends the concoction at full speed. The result is... priceless.
Now, there's no way my usual insane breakdown of the movie under review could ever match the loony elan foisted on us by the writers of NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE, so I'll just outline the broad strokes of the, ahem, plot. Basically using the premise of SHE'S ALL THAT as a main framework, the movie shoe-horns elements from, but not limited to: PRETTY IN PINK, THE BREAKFAST CLUB, SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL, CAN'T HARDLY WAIT, VARSITY BLUES, CRUEL INTENTIONS, 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU, AMERICAN PIE, and, well, I'm sure there are others. I should also point out that the elements shoe-horned into the film are magnified and distorted to a blissfully lunatic level.
We have our usual teen-movie archetypes, only ineffably and utterly fucked-up: (1) The Popular Jock (Chris Evans), who contrives to woo the (2) Geeky Sexy Chick (Chyler Leigh) on a bet, (3) The Bitchy Cheerleader (Jaime Pressley) whose beauty is only exceeded by her stupidity, (4) The Cruelest Girl (Mia Kirshner) who is, well, cruel and really wants to fuck her brother (I don't know if that's "cruel" so much as "gross"), (4) The Cocky Blonde Guy (Eric Christian Olsen) who is blonde and cocky (which is not a hip new way of saying "hung like a horse"), (5) The Token Black Guy (Deon Richmond) who is around just to say "that shit is whack!", (6) The Obsessed Best Friend (can't remember the actor's name) who is forever doomed to love unrequitedly, (7) and dozens of others that I am too drunk to remember right now.
I shan't spoil the film for you because it's better to uncover the utterly insane gags that NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE has up it's sleeves - on your own. Yes, these gags are based on actual plot points from dozens of other films, but I can assure you that those original plot points are not as fucked-up as their doppelgangers in this flick. Have a blast.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: This film, to put it mildly, is not ON GOLDEN POND. But it possesses a trait that ON GOLDEN POND does not have. It's certifiably hilarious - which makes it better than ON GOLDEN POND in some twisted respects. I recently reviewed GRANDMA'S BOY, another film that is very funny but is not well-regarded by most critics. NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE is the same category as that movie. Both want nothing more than to crack up an audience - and don't care whether or not anyone likes it. They just keep up the relentless barrage of gags that, more often than not, hit the bulls-eye.
Truthfully, a spoof is only as strong as its gags and its cast. The gags in NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE are fine. And the cast? Well, they're even better. Chris Evans made his film debut in this movie after a few TV roles and he hints at his future status as leading man by blending good looks with goofy, self-deprecating wit and impeccable comic timing. And his nude "whipped cream" scene is a classic. Chyler Leigh is good as the heroine who becomes more beautiful by.... removing her eyeglasses and taking her hair out of its ponytail. Jaime Pressley is a loony delight as the Bitchy Cheeleader - the woman is a born comedienne. Eric Christian Olsen is suitably annoying as the Cocky Blonde Guy, while Deon Richmond draws some big laughs as The Token Black Guy. The rest of the cast is energetic and lively and provide solid support to the main cast.
Bottom line: NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE was never meant to win any Oscars. It was meant to make you laugh. And you will - as long as you give it and its talented cast the chance.
