THE PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR (2014 - ANIMATED / ADVENTURE / FAMILY) ***1/2 out of ***** OR 7 out of 10
(More like FACEPLANT OF THE PENGUINS...)
CAST: Voices of Tom McGrath, Chris Miller, Christopher Knights, Conrad Vernon, John Malkovich, Benedict Cumberbatch, Annet Mahendru, Peter Stormare, Ken Jeong.
DIRECTORS: Eric Darnell, Simon J. Smith.
(WARNING: Some SPOILERS and compelling reasons to doubt any documentaries narrated by Morgan Freeman - straight ahead)
IT'S LIKE THIS: If Morgan Freeman and that popular documentary he loaned his voice to (MARCH OF THE PENGUINS) are to be believed, penguins are majestic, quirky, intelligent, adorable creatures who are much-needed pockets of cuteness to offset all the other utterly inhospitable elements of the North and South Poles. You would be forgiven if, by the end of MARCH OF THE PENGUINS, you were ready to volunteer on an Arctic-or Antarctic-bound ship to observe the tuxedoed-fowl in their natural (and colder-than-a-witches'-tit) environment.
Our next review, the much-anticipated THE PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR, begs to differ. This flick showcases a quartet of popular supporting characters of the MADAGASCAR series: four penguins who are, shall we say, about three ice cubes shy of a full tray. They are Skipper (Tom McGrath), Kowalski (Chris Miller), Private (Christopher Knights), and Rico (Conrad Vernon). Ostensibly, there four are supposed to have different personalities, but they are all essentially variations on the same sensibly-challenged doofus, so let's not waste our time, shall we?
We meet our quartet of feathered fuck-tards as juvenile penguins in the South (or is it North - oh, who gives a fuck) Pole. They are engaging in one of those awesome-to-behold pilgrimages where the penguins march, single-file, throughout the frozen tundra - as if they heard the local Macy's was passing out free Calvin Klein wool coats. Fuck, I'd fall in step, too.
Anyhow, through a turn-of-events so utterly stupid and contrived it could only exist in a MADAGASCAR spin-off, Skipper, Kowalski, Private, and Rico wind up getting separated from the pack. After a near-death encounter with a pack of shipwrecked walruses (don't even ask), our four "heroes" find themselves adrift on a glacier and eventually wind up in Venice, Italy (!) where it becomes very convenient that they look like they are wearing tuxedoes.
You see, it's at this point that THE PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR turns into a parody of one of the goofier Bond movies (think anything with Roger Moore in it, except FOR YOUR EYES ONLY), with our four black-and-white-clad protagonists encountering a super-villain who wants to unleash some spectacular evil plan on the unsuspecting world. A super-villain named... Dave.
Somehow, I don't think Elektra King or Blofeld are too worried about losing their status are Best Villains Ever. I mean, seriously: Dave?
At least Dave sounds a lot like John Malkovich, which is always a plus when you need a voice for a villain. I should also add that Dave is an octopus and he has a shared history with our four birds (Are penguins birds? Again - who gives a fuck) - and a serious grudge against them. You see, it turns out Dave used to live in the same zoo that Skipper, Kowalski, Private, and Rico wound up in, between their escape from the frozen tundra - and landing in Venice, Italy.
It turns out that Dave is a little miffed that our four idiots stole all the limelight from him at the zoo, which led management to send to some third-rate aquarium somewhere. This, apparently, is Dave's deep motivation for unleashing... well, whatever the fuck he's unleashing onto the unsuspecting world.
So... will Rico, Private, Kowalski, and Skipper be able to stop Dave from whatever the hell he's planning? Can a secret society of animal secret agents called The North Wind (again - don't even ask) help them? Or is the world doomed from Dave... and, well, what the fuck he's got up his sleeve?
Time will tell. In the meantime, never underestimate the power of stupid creatures in groups of four.
BUT SERIOUSLY: The MADAGASCAR trilogy is one of the best-loved animated series in recent memory, and one of the reasons it's so memorable isn't just because of its quartet of crazy-funny leads voiced by Ben Stiller, Jada Pinkett Smith, David Schwimmer, and Chris Rock - but also because of a colorful supporting cast led by the wonderfully loony King Julian (Sacha Baron Cohen), his practical advisor Maurice (Cedric The Entertainer), the meek & put-upon Mort ( Andy Richter), and last, but certainly not the least, the quartet of hilariously insane penguins, Skipper, Kowalski, Private, and Rico (Tom McGrath, Chris Miller, Christopher Knights, and Conrad Vernon).
It was only a matter of time before those four nutty penguins got their own movie. How well do they do with a lion's share (no pun intended) of the limelight? Well, let's just say that the results are mixed. As part of the MADAGASCAR ensemble, these four are a welcome addition and provide a bizarro touch to the already-ribald goings-ons. However, given center stage in THE PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR, our four feathered tuxedo birds are somehow not quite as funny as they were in the MADAGASCAR movies.
That's not to say that the movie is weak, or that these guys don't deserve their own film. THE PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR is actually a solid film, and has many hilarious lines (including a surprisingly-raunchy quip about "wet kabooms" aimed at all the adults in the audience that was apparently only appreciated by me as I seemed to be the only who one who laughed). However, it somehow fails to catch that "wave" that elevates a solid film into the ranks of very good movies - and higher ( 8 or **** and above). As it is, it is a respectable, enjoyable entry into the MADAGASCAR franchise.
The voice actors are all good, with the likes of Benedict Cumberbatch, Ken Jeong, Peter Stormare, and - best of all - John Malkovich joining MADAGASCAR veterans like Tom McGrath, Chris Miller, Christopher Knights, and Conrad Vernon. As good as the voice cast is, they are somehow a bit better than the script. Had they been given something truly inspired (instead of another James Bond send-up) THE PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR might've been more than a merely "good" movie.
In the end, it's a decent addition to the MADAGASCAR universe. Somehow, we just feel these four nutjobs would have a far loonier showcase. Oh, well....
