THE CONJURING (2013 - HORROR / GHOST STORY / HAUNTED HOUSE) *** out of *****
(Conjure this, you demonic bitch...)
CAST: Patrick Wilson,Vera Farmiga, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston, Mackenzie Foy, Kyla Deaver, Shanley Caswell, Joey King, Hayley McFarland, Sterling Jerins, Shannon Kook, John Brotherton.
DIRECTOR: James Wan
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some compelling reasons to turn your nose up at severely under-priced real estate - no matter what a "sweet deal" it may seem.
IT'S LIKE THIS: In what has got to be one of the more grievous "seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time" moves in modern history, the Perron family picks up a sprawling mansion (and several acres of land around it) for basically the price of a used Volkswagen van. They barely have time to gloat at their good fortune, though, when the other shoe drops: the fucking place is filled with more evil, demonic bitches than the Tower of London, Borley Rectory, and your average hair salon, combined.
Roger and Carolyn Perron (Ron Livingston and Lili Taylor), as well as their five (five!) daughters - Cindy, Andrea, Christine April, and Nancy (Shanley Casswell, Hayley McFarland, Joey King, Mackenzie Foy, Kyla Deaver) - are besieged by some truly horrific events. Namely: (1) horrible odors routinely float through the air, and it ain't (or so they claim) the kids farting; (2) pictures hanging on the walls routinely drop to the floor and shatter, and it ain't (or so they claim) the kids just fucking around; (3) something locks mama Carolyn in the basement in the dark, and it ain't (or so they claim) the kids getting back at her for grounding them; (4) a demon jumps at Nancy (or Andrea - hard to tell with all these chicks in one place) from above the wardrobe and it ain't (or so they claim) one of the other kids; and, most horrible of all: (5) the bathroom looks like a fucking warzone. Okay, alright... that last one probably has less to do with the ghosts, and more to do with the fact that six women are living under the same roof. Poor Roger...
Anyhow, the Perrons eventually enlist the aid of Lorraine and Ed Warren (Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson), two local famous ghost hunters who recently closed the case of a doll that terrorized its female owners by writing notes on the wall like "miss me?" and "hello!" and "are you really going out on your date wearing that crappy dress, sweetie?" Okay, I was kidding about that last one, but the doll really should've called her owners on those awful outfits. They're even more horrible than the prospect of the doll coming to life. But I digress.
So Lorraine and Ed arrive at Roger and Carolyn's lemon of an estate, take a quick look around, and basically tell the Perrons they are supremely fucked. Specifically, there are a bunch of demons living in the house (thank you, Mr. & Mrs. Obvious) and they have latched on to the Perron family - and will follow them anywhere they go. How convenient, because now the Perrons can no longer just sell the goddamned place - and must actually employ the Warrens to clean the place up. Those Warrens sure are crafty businessmen, er, businesswomen, um, you know what I mean.
Will the wacky Warrens be able to drive the demons out of the house? Or are the demons even more virulent than they realized? And what happens when Carolyn starts acting strangely? Is she possessed? Will the Warrens have to now rip off THE EXORCIST in addition to THE AMITYVILLE HORROR? And how will the Warrens and Perrons react when they discover the house and land belonged a long time ago to a truly loathsome woman named Bathsheba who killed her own child? And the most important question of all: were hairstyles really that ridiculous in 1971?
Don't answer that last one. I truly don't want to know...
BUT, SERIOUSLY: The cardinal rule of storytelling - whether in novels, screenplays, articles, or short stories - is to start strong and finish stronger. This rule is particularly relevant to mysteries, suspense thrillers, and horror films. These three genres, more than any other, are setpiece-driven and are required to have rising tension. But it isn't enough for the plot to have strong setpieces - those sequences must also build upon one another and up the stakes as the story goes forward. That is how rising tension is created. Without it, a story is weakened - and for a tale that pivots on suspense and tension, that can be damaging, if not outright fatal.
In THE CONJURING, the first few setpieces are stellar. Quite frankly, they are the only reason this film rates above the average mark. The opening sequence wherein Ed and Lorraine Warren talk to the young nurses who are being terrorized by the "Annabel Doll" - and learn their terrifying story - is quite chilling and goosebump-inducing. So are the first-half setpieces of Carolyn being terrorized by a clapping phantom in the darkened basement and Nancy being attacked by a demon that only she can see. Unfortunately, the second-half of the film devolves into a tired demonic possession storyline that also includes the by-now-cliched investigation into the history of the house. And let's just say that the history uncovered here doesn't exactly break new ground, folks...
THE CONJURING is said to be "based on actual events" - but the way the movie plays out in the third act of the film feels like your standard Over-The-Top Hollywood Horror Movie, instead of something grounded in fact. The climactic setpiece with the Warrens desperately crawling through the bowels of the house to keep the possessed Carolyn from killing one of her daughters has a particularly hokey feel to it. So does the plot thread wherein the Warrens' own young daughter, Judy (Sterling Jerins), is visited by the evil of Bathsheba miles away in the Warrens' home. I understand that some dramatic license was probably necessary to transfer this "true story" to the screen - but the end result feels less and less authentic as it reaches its conclusion.
The cast certainly can't be faulted, since they are all solid and competent. Of them all, Lili Taylor fares the best as the tormented (and eventually, possessed) Carolyn Perron. Taylor is a very talented actress and does what she can with the underwritten role she's given. Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, and Ron Livingston do the same and give us enough of a rooting interest in each of their roles. The young actresses playing the Perron daughters also hold their own against their older counterparts. Unfortunately, they're all at the mercy of a script that feels more and more mechanical as it nears its ending. If the latter passages of the film had the same eeriness and power as the initial sequences, this could have been a classic. As a result, it's merely above-average.
Contrast THE CONJURING with 2010's INSIDIOUS, another "haunted house" film by director James Wan. The latter was stuck with the same sub-genre limitations as the former - but it gave us setpieces that built on one another and created a genuine sense of growing dread and suspense, culminating in a truly creepy ending that stayed with you after the end credits rolled. That is the way to make a good haunted house movie. Wan seems to have forgotten that for this particular outing. Hopefully, he will remember it for THE CONJURING's inevitable sequels (Wan intends to use more of the Warren's real-life supernatural adventures for future films).
