(Revenge is a dish best served cold. Unless you’re James Bond, then the temperature doesn’t matter - because you just serve it by smashing the plate into your enemy’s face. Again. And again. And again and again and again and again. Then you get another plate….)
CAST: Timothy Dalton, Carey Lowell, Robert Davi, Talisa Soto, Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Zerbe, Desmond Llewellyn, Priscilla Barnes, Caroline Bliss.
DIRECTOR: John Glen
WARNING: Many SPOILERS and one supremely pissed-off MI-6 agent right up ahead…
As I mentioned in an earlier review, the summer movie season of 1989 was an eventful and important one: a franchise was born with BATMAN, another grew stronger with LETHAL WEAPON 2, and yet another was revived with INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t all wine and roses that summer - there was one franchise that hit a bump when its latest installment stalled at the American box-office: the James Bond franchise. The films was LICENCE TO KILL, which grossed around $36 million - fairly modest for such a high-profile project.
Around the world, though, LICENCE TO KILL predictably made a killing like the previous Bond films. However, because of its underperformance in the U.S. that film has been branded as a something of a failure.
All of this would be irrelevant if the film had actually sucked. But the ironic and unfortunate fact is that LICENCE TO KILL is not only a terrific Bond film - but a terrific action-thriller by any standard. Grounded by a mature storyline, headlined by a no-nonsense James Bond (Timothy Dalton), a peopled by a strong supporting cast, LICENCE TO KILL is an atypical 007 adventure that may have just been a little ahead of its time. And we know what happens to anyone or anything that marches out of step with the lemmings….
Opening with a breath-taking pre-title credits sequence showing notorious drug lord Franz Sanchez (Robert Davi) surreptitiously flying into the Florida keys to retrieve his cheating girlfriend, Lupe Lamora (Talisa Soto), LICENCE TO KILL hits the ground running. But not in a way that makes the audience feel left behind.
Anyhow, turns out Lupe is disenchanted with Sanchez and has been trying to find a way to get out from under his thumb for awhile now. Sanchez shows his generosity and patience by ordering his henchmen to cut out her lover’s heart - then whips her just to remind her who Daddy really is. Meanwhile, the DEA has been alerted that Sanchez is in the keys and they immediately contact CIA agent Felix Leiter (David Hedison).
Problem is Leiter is about to get married - and Bond is his best man. They’re enroute to the church where Leiter’s bride-to-be, Della (Priscilla Barnes), is waiting. Rather impatiently, I might add. But does this stop Leiter and Bond from taking a detour to nab the scumbag drug lord? If you think not, then you have a decidedly skewed understanding of men, their foibles, and the games they play.
Suffice it to say, Leiter and Bond jump out of that limousine like a couple of kids who’ve just been told that school’s out for summer - anything to avoid having to walk down the aisle for just a few hours.
This turns out to be a smart choice on their part, because their participation in the operation leads to Sanchez getting caught while trying to fly back into Cuban airspace. Leiter’s joy at the bust lasts for about, oh, 3 seconds until Leiter realizes that now he has to get married. With no other drug lords needing arresting, Leiter hangs his head in resignation and follows Bond’s lead by parachuting into the wedding crowd below - waiting like a school of piranhas.
Unfortunately, Sanchez has a reputation for giving “million dollar bribes” and, sure enough, he trots out his usual number - plus another million - while being interrogated by the DEA. Judging by the way Agent Killifer (Everett McGill) goes ape-shit and starts whaling on Sanchez, it’s clear that either: (1) Killifer is a righteous dude who is morally-offended by Sanchez’s bribe, or (2) Killifer is a fucking slimeball but has to act like a righteous dude who is morally-offended by Sanchez’s bribe so that it won’t be obvious to anyone that he has already accepted the bribe.
Sure enough, the convoy transporting Sanchez out of the Keys is attacked on the bridge leading back to the mainland - and the fearsome drug lord and woman-beater is free as a bird again. But not a bird who just flies away and lets bygones be bygones. Nope, Sanchez is a bird that likes to even the score - and then some. He sends his goons to pay Leiter back by pissing on the newlyweds’ honeymoon. Not literally, but that might have been preferable to what they actually do to Leiter and Della, which is: (1) feed the former to a shark and (2) feed the latter to, um, Sanchez’s sex-starved goons led by his nephew, Dario (Benicio Del Toro). When you see these guys, you’ll understand why they’re so sex-starved. Not so much how they look, but more how they behave and talk - like the World’s Most Annoying Boy band. Well, I guess that also covers how they look. Leiter, however, isn’t killed by his shark attack. Nope, Sanchez is far too sadistic a villain for that. Instead, the goons reel Leiter back out of the water after his leg is chomped off. Obviously, Sanchez wants to see how Leiter would look in a wheelchair.
Unfortunately for Della, she must have committed hara-kiri or something (not that I blame her) after her encounter with Sanchez’s goons, because when Bond gets word of Sanchez escaping, he rushes to Leiter’s place to find Mrs. Leiter’s pulse as flat as the enthusiasm level for the next SCREAM movie. Then again, I suppose they could have just killed her, too. And just outside the bedroom, Leiter's mangled body awaits Bond.
Seeing the injuries his good friend has sustained - not to mention the death of Della - Bond vows to seek revenge. He doesn’t actually say this, but when you have an actor playing Bond who can glower like glowering is an Olympic sport, you don’t need words. Go, Timothy D.!
Needless to say, Bond defies MI-6’s orders and goes rogue - intent on infiltrating Sanchez’s organization so that he can unleash some hurt, pain, and agony in dangerous doses. Along the way, several things happen to help his mission: (1) he intercepts - actually, more like “stumbles” - across a shitload of cash that is being transported to Sanchez - and claims it for himself so that he can now dress the part of “mysterious millionaire who cajoles his way into Sanchez’s inner circle“, and (2) he allies with a ball-busting DEA informant with anger and jealousy issues named Pam Bouvier (Carey “Isn’t it crazy I‘m this hot?” Lowell) who has valuable info on Sanchez’s operations, and (3) he wins the support of Lupe, Sanchez’s fed-up girlfriend whom we met earlier and who would ally herself with a rabid wild boar if it promised her an escape from Sanchez, and (4) he receives a visit from old frenemy (friend who is really an enemy), Q, who - in all the previous films - always treated Bond like something that routinely comes out of his ass after a very big meal, but who now suddenly treats him like a favorite nephew or something.
Bond is clearly suspicious of Q’s sudden appearance and magnanimous manner, as well, but given that his closest allies are (1) a ball-busting DEA informant with anger issues, and (2) Sanchez’s fed-up girlfriend who would ally with a wild boar if it promised her an escape from Sanchez, Bond feels that maybe he should solicit additional help from a member of a gender not so susceptible to hormonal mood swings. Know what I’m sayin’?
At any rate, Bond quickly finagles his way into Sanchez’s inner circle by fabricating a story that he is a rogue MI-6 agent that has been put out in the cold and….. Wait, a minute… I guess he was telling the truth. That Bond - so slick and cunning by distracting Sanchez with hiding the truth in plain sight and winning his trust. Gotta love him.
Anyway, confident that he has a new friend in Bond, Sanchez allows him to join a Field Trip for Drug Dealers that Sanchez is organizing - which will allow the visitors to share drug-dealer horror stories, case studies, and also to see up-close Sanchez’s fabled Cocaine Fun Factory. Hope the produce is organic.
Unfortunately, Dario goes along on the trip and recognizes that Bond is a rogue MI-6 agent that has been put out in the cold - and, oh by the way, also wants to kill his Uncle. Fortunately, however, Lupe proves she’s more than just a killer face and smokin’ bod when she alerts Pam and Q that Sanchez is checking up on Bond’s story - and that the super-spy will need help.
For a second there, it appears that the green-eyed demon on Pam’s shoulder will consume her, as she senses that Bond has fucked Lupe at least three times from the way Lupe tremulously says “I looooove James soooooooo much.” While Q is puking in reaction, Pam is seriously considering drop-kicking Lupe back to whatever barrio she crawled out of. Fortunately, though, her professionalism kicks in and she resolves to help Bond - but not before trashing the hotel suite with Q cowering in the corner and Lupe hightailing it of there in the grand tradition of the Other Woman Who Decides to Get While the Getting’s Good. Smart girl.
Long story short, the climax unfolds in Sanchez’s Cocaine Fun Factory, where Bond and Pam face off against Dario and Sanchez’s other lapdogs. Needless to say, our hero and heroine make mincemeat out of them - and in the case of Dario, literally: he gets tossed down what looks like a giant meat grinder.
And as for Sanchez, he gets his comeuppance when - after an extended tanker truck chase with Bond driving the other truck and Pam hovering above them in a crop duster like an irritating fly that can pass clouds of gas - Bond makes him crash the tanker, douses him in petrol - and then lights him up like the Fourth of July with the very same lighter that Bond got from Felix and Della as a Best Man present. The only thing missing at this climax is a bag of marshmallows for Bond to roast over Sanchez’s blazing body. Which would have made a sweet - if gross - climactic shot.
The film ends at a huge party at Sanchez’s house with even the President of the country in attendance. Now that Sanchez is dead, apparently Lupe is the new owner of his home and shows her gratefulness by (1) throwing the party, and (2) walking around imperiously with an iguana wearing a diamond necklace (yes, really), and (3) sticking her tongue down Bond’s throat.
This last bit, in particular, is a tad disconcerting - to say the least - to Pam, who sees the kiss and immediately forgets that she has been portrayed as a tough, sardonic, and competent mercenary for the last two hours - and now conveniently runs off to pout by the pool like a sub-Molly Ringwald.
Bond - clearly recognizing that (1) Lupe is now free of Sanchez and no longer has to kiss Bond’s ass and could very well feed him to the iguana, and (2) that he still needs to fly home and that has zero chance of happening with a pissed-off Pam - tells Lupe that she should go the Monica Lewinsky route and blow the President instead. Lupe’s like, “Okey-dokey” and Bond’s like, “Outta here to do so some Pam Maintenance.”
Which he does by jumping into the pool like a goofball and pulling Pam into the water like an even bigger goofball. Yup, no better way to win a woman’s heart than acting like a complete idiot. Of course, the woman herself must first be an idiot, too.
The End. At least until that iguana decides to take over the world. At which point, Bond will have to leave Pam behind. Watch out.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Paving the way for more serious outings like THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, CASINO ROYALE, and QUANTUM OF SOLACE, LICENCE TO KILL was clearly ahead of its time when it was released back in 1989. There are many reasons why devotees of this movie believe American audiences didn’t embrace it back then, the top three being: bad timing with all the other franchise contenders also being released that summer, a lousy marketing campaign that made the film look cheesy and terrible, and a tone that was too gritty and mean.
All three are accurate: what with LETHAL WEAPON 2 and INDY 3 and BATMAN all terrorizing the box-office around the same time, add to that a truly awful marketing campaign and the unexpectedly serious tone of the film, and one can understand why LICENCE TO KILL underperformed at the box office that summer. This doesn’t detract, however, from the fact that this movie is terrific - and belongs in every Bond fan’s TOP 10 - if not TOP 5.
Timothy Dalton sets the tone by taking his role and mission quite seriously. Of course, having your best friend maimed and his wife murdered would be enough for anyone to tone down the yuks and giggles. But the director and writers should also be credited with fashioning a story that combines suspense and action in equal measure.
The script also gives us two Bond girls who are truly relevant to the plot and are firmly in control: Pam Bouvier has more knowledge than Bond about Sanchez’s empire, as well as skills that prove invaluable to keeping 007 alive; and Lupe Lamora, while a far less “kick-ass” role, still holds her own and whose actions kick the whole movie in motion when she defies Sanchez’s authority - as well as provide Bond with even more vital inside info on Sanchez. It also helps that both women are portrayed by actresses that are both gorgeous and magnetic. Talisa Soto fumbles a line or two, but they’re the ones that even Meryl Streep would’ve had a hard time spouting convincingly, such as that “I loooove James sooooo much….”
Finally, the series has one of its most memorable villains in Franz Sanchez (Robert Davi), who is complex and intriguing. Vicious and vengeful, but also oddly courteous and almost romantic, Sanchez is someone who values loyalty above everything else, giving him some humanity that is very refreshing indeed. And Robert Davi plays him with such magnetism that you find yourself almost rooting for him. That’s an odd place to find yourself in for a Bond film.
All in all, LICENCE TO KILL is a stellar Bond adventure that was simply too cutting edge for 1989 Bond audiences. Nevertheless, it is # 5 on my BOND MOVIE TOP 5 LIST. See below:
MY TOP FIVE BOND FILMS:
#1. FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE
#2. THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH
#3. QUANTUM OF SOLACE
#4. GOLDENEYE
#5. LICENCE TO KILL
