(Too much of it is bad for you. But in the right amounts…)
CAST: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Eijofor, August Diehl, Cory Stoll, Daniel Olbrychki.
DIRECTOR: Phillip Noyce
WARNING: Minor SPOILERS and blatant Bourne-sex-change antics right up ahead…
After seeing INCEPTION last week, I knew with some heaviness in my chest that it would be awhile before another film as surprising or provocative would come down the pike. I knew it would be back to the usual glut of bland and run-of-the-mill cinematic fare. You know - stuff that doesn’t stand out from the pack and doesn’t even make an attempt to, whose main purpose is give us more of the same because there’s an audience for that kind of thing so why not keep feeding us the same fare? Does SALT fit that bill? On the surface, SALT looks like it’s more of the same - basically, a Jason Bourne film with tits. And to a certain degree, it is. However, there are two things that elevate it above being just another “Shaky Cam” spy thriller: (1) Angelina Jolie’s layered and engaging performance, and (2) recent events that have made it uncomfortably clear it is not at all fantastic for Russian “sleepers” to walk among us. And by Russian “sleepers” I don’t mean whores from Moscow, thank you.
SALT opens with a brutal scene of Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie) bound and writhing in bra and panties on the floor of a filthy North Korean prison. As opposed to, say, a pristine North Korea prison. At any rate, seems those damn commies think Evelyn is a spy, even though she maintains she’s just a sweet businesswoman on, uh, business in a place where she should have no business. The North Koreans carefully consider her assertions by (1) beating the crap out of her, (2) forcing gallons of water down her throat, and (3) slamming their booted heels into her stomach to force all that water out. Clearly, these fuckers love their jobs. Eventually, the North Koreans agree to an exchange to free Evelyn. Met at the prison gate by her boss, Ted Winter (Liev Schreiber), she learns that her German boyfriend, Mike (August Diehl), fought relentlessly and tirelessly for her release. By the way, the sharp-eyed among you will remember a similar opening scene from DIE ANOTHER DAY, the James Bond movie that was about an Asian guy wanting to turn into a Cracker. And it also had an ice palace and a space laser beam so, needless to say, DIE ANOTHER DAY wasn’t exactly at the top of the pantheon. You’re probably groaning in your seats right now, thinking that if SALT has to rip-off one of the silliest Bond films since MOONRAKER - and so early on - then that can’t be a good thing. Don’t worry - SALT will move on to ripping off better movies.
Flash forward a couple of years, and we find that Evelyn and Mike have married, and are about to celebrate their second anniversary. Which Evelyn prepares for by... trying to fold table napkins into elegant patterns. Now, I may be off-base here, but I really don’t think Mike is going to care about how the napkins are folded - and more about how long it will take him to remove Evelyn’s lingerie. But I’ve been called a degenerate. Evelyn complains to Ted (who’s still her boss) that her napkin-folding is just not “sexy.” Got that right. At that point, I was hoping Ted would say to her, “Babe, if it’s sexy you want, why don't you cover your naked body - which eerily resembles Angelina Jolie’s - with a hundred of these napkins - and have him unfold them, one by one.” Unfortunately, he doesn’t say this to her. Later, Evelyn and Ted rush out of the building, he to catch a flight, she to continue practice folding for her anniversary celebration. Their departure is kiboshed when a Russian defector suddenly shows up and demands an audience for a whopper of a story to tell. Ted sends Evelyn in to talk to him, since she’s apparently the best at sorting out a whackjob from the truthful. The defector turns to be a crone named Orlov (Daniel Olbrychki), who spins for Evelyn a tale of children being trained in Russia to be sleeper agents planted in the United States. And that one of them is a mole right inside the CIA who is planning to target the visiting Russian president the very next day.
Deciding she’s heard more credible stories on THE OUTER LIMITS and THE TWILIGHT ZONE, Evelyn excuses herself from Orlov’s company - saying she still has a lot of napkin-folding to do. Her exit is botched by Orlov’s declaration that the mole is Evelyn herself. Even worse, the super-duper lie detector that scans the entire room determines that Orlov is telling the truth. Pleading with her colleagues that she is innocent, Salt watches as Orlov is escorted out of the building. Unfortunately, it appears that Orlov has been hanging out with Rosa Klebb, because he has the same dagger shoes that she had in FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE. He uses these kicks to annihilate his CIA escorts - and escapes. Evelyn follows his lead and does the same in a hilarious sequence that shows her turning into a hotter version of MacGyver by creating a bomb of out of some cleaning detergents and a fire extinguisher. Getting the jump on her pursuers, she skedaddles out of her place of employment and rushes to meet Mike for some sweaty and vigorous napkin-folding.
To her chagrin, Mike is not at home. Probably heard through the grapevine that she intended to celebrate their anniversary by folding napkins and got while the gettin' was good. After dropping off their pet mutt with a neighbor, Evelyn tucks her blonde hair under a cap and jumps on the first bus to New York City - where the Russkie prez is visiting and where she hopes to avert an assassination attempt on him. Or does she? Needless to say, the less you know about Evelyn’s loyalties and the remaining twists and turns (and there are many) in SALT, the more you will enjoy it - or, at least, the harder your jaw will slam into the theater floor as you scream: “What. THE. FUCK!!!”. All I’ll say that is that Evelyn embarks on one action scene after another - racing to stay ahead of both the CIA and them pesky russkies while also trying to find her hubby - with such cat-like skill that you have to wonder if she was two-timing Mike with Jason Bourne. Maybe she needed something more exciting, after all, than folding napkins….
Oh… one thing I will say: when Angelina Jolie dresses up like a guy, she looks eerily like a butch Kristin Scott Thomas. You’ll see…
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Saying it point blank: without Angelina Jolie, SALT would have been just "Jason Bourne with breasts." Plain and simple. While the whole thing is directed and written with a kinetic efficiency, this is not something we haven’t seen before. But, as I mentioned in the intro, recent events that revealed 10 Russian sleeper agents have been among us all this time lend SALT some relevant immediacy it would have surely lacked. The subject matter, elevated by these events, in turn elevate the entire film. But even the most timely topic wouldn’t be enough to distinguish a film if its lead is not dynamite. And, folks, Angelina Jolie is dynamite. I was sure I’d be bored with her playing yet another kick-ass action heroine. But there’s something about her spin on Evelyn that got me. Professional and efficient, but also human and vulnerable in a way that isn’t cliched. Indeed, Jolie’s best moments are not those wherein she is trying to evade capture, but rather the quieter ones where she tries to Bond with her husband. Like in the beginning when, after having been released from the North Korean prison, she sees Mike waiting for her - and realizing how hard he fought to free her. The look on Jolie’s face as she registers this act of love is both a telling emotional marker - and significant plot point.
The supporting cast supports Jolie well. Schreiber is good in a role that calls for him to slowly question his loyalty to Evelyn. And Chiwetel Ejiofor is similarly strong in his Pamela Landy-type role of Salt’s pursuer who gradually comes to question her guilt - only to doubt her again. August Diehl is touching in his small but significant role as Mike, Evelyn’s beloved husband. Their relationship provides the film with the closest thing to an emotional center. Indeed, if this thread would have been developed better, SALT would be more than a merely good film. But maybe they’re saving it for the (ahem) sequel.
Also, director Phillip Noyce knows his way around action and suspense, having helmed such solid thrillers as DEAD CALM, PATRIOT GAMES, SLIVER, CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER, THE BONE COLLECTOR, and THE QUIET AMERICAN. He brings his expert craftmanship to SALT and it shows in the sleek and propulsive end-product.
Bottom line: Angelina Jolie owns SALT. More power to her.
