MOVIE RATING SCALE:

***** (Spectacular) 10

****1/2 (Excellent) 9

**** (Very Good) 8

***1/2 (Good) 7

*** (Above Average) 6

**1/2 (Average) 5

** (Below Average) 4

*1/2 (Mediocre) 3

* (Awful) 2

1/2 (Abysmal) 1

0 (Worthless) 0


Sunday, June 12, 2011

# 346 - NAPOLI CORNER: THE DIEGO MARADONA STORY (1996)

NAPOLI CORNER: THE DIEGO MARADONA STORY (1996 - SOCCER FLICK / DOCUMENTARY) ***1/2 out of *****

(Never underestimate the power of an Argentine player in Southern Italy…)

Go, BOY!!!!!!

CAST: Diego Maradona as himself.

DIRECTOR: Unknown

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one seriously ballsy Argentine firecracker/soccer player - straight ahead…




IT’S LIKE THIS: Napoli (or Naples) has always been unfairly labeled the Black Sheep of Italian Cities - in more ways than one. One of these ways includes football. Unlike their more polished brethren up north, SSC Napoli had always gotten the short-end of the stick and constantly missed out on the Scudetto - AKA the Serie A Italian Championships. Then Diego Maradona was hired onto the team between 1985 and 1992, and all that changed: Napoli won two Scudettos, as well as placed second twice, and also nabbed the coveted Coppa Italia. Basically, Diego Maradona became what Gennaro Gattuso is for the AC Milan: a fucking godsend.

THE DUDE (OR DUDETTE) MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: Diego, baby…

EYE CANDY MOST LIKELY TO FIRE UP A WOODY: Well, Diego’s not a bad-looking guy, but he’s no Fabio Cannavaro. Sorry, but no wood here…

MOST INTENTIONALLY EXCITING SCENE: Anytime Diego M. is shown shooting for a goal.

MOST UNINTENTIONALLY EXCITING SCENE: The various interviews with the passionate and fiery denizens of Napoli, who basically look upon Diego M. as a beloved adopted brotha or son. God, I love Southern Italians… And Northern Italians. Oh, fuck it: I love all Italians.

HOTTEST SCENE: Any scene where Diego M. scores a beautiful goal.

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: Well, we already kind of know, right? Diego M. raised SSC Napoli’s profile and showed the North that the South could actually kick ball and take names? But can Diego M. sustain this successful run? Or will his rumored drug use affect not only him but also the city of Napoli itself? Will Napoli lose its hallowed standing just when she’s found it? Goddamnit, no! NO! NO!

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH “NAPOLI CORNER: DIEGO MARADONA STORY”: If you love soccer, soccer movies, and Diego Maradona - and Southern Italy…

WHY YOU MAY NOT ENJOY “NAPOLI CORNER: DIEGO MARADONA STORY”: If you don’t like soccer, soccer movies, Diego Maradona, or Southern Italy. In which case, the door is that way… don’t let it hit your ass on the way out.

FINAL ANALYSIS: Having lived in Naples, Italy for three years, and having followed the games of AC Napoli while I was there, it’s hard not to know about the legend of Diego Maradona. Any self-respecting football fan in Napoli knows and worships Diego Maradona. This brilliant Argentine player gave Napoli its first taste at the Scudetto - and basically proved to the North that the area south of Rome isn’t populated by barbarians and the savages. And knowing as I do how proud Neapolitans are, I’m quite certain they reacted with typical passionate Italian intensity to those victories in the late eighties. As much as I also love Northern Italy and its denizens, there's just an electricity and vibrant passion to the South that isn't found elsewhere in the country.

One of my Italian friends from Naples was just a boy when Maradona reigned supreme, and he remembers his father, mother, uncles, and aunts essentially throwing days-long celebration in the wake of the Maradona/AC Napoli victories. That’s how special Maradona was to the city of Naples, Italy.

In the end, Maradona’s troubled tendencies and alleged cocaine abuse caught up to him, and he left SSC Napoli on a low note. He went on to play for Seville in Spain and Newell and Boca in Argentina. In short, he moved on from his high/low chapter in Napoli, and eventually retired in 1998. His recent stint was managing the Argentina National Team, which ended after the 2010 World Cup.

Regardless of what Mr. Maradona is doing now, he is remembered fondly in Naples - for bringing the coveted Scudetto and Coppa Italia to the South - and showing the North that they know how to play football down there, too…