MOVIE RATING SCALE:

***** (Spectacular) 10

****1/2 (Excellent) 9

**** (Very Good) 8

***1/2 (Good) 7

*** (Above Average) 6

**1/2 (Average) 5

** (Below Average) 4

*1/2 (Mediocre) 3

* (Awful) 2

1/2 (Abysmal) 1

0 (Worthless) 0


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

# 422 - CONTRABAND (2012)

CONTRABAND (2012 - ACTION / THRILLER) ***1/2 out of *****

(Damn - is it that easy to get ahold of a bunch of counterfeit money?)

Spare a million dollars?

CAST: Mark Wahlberg, Kate Beckinsale, Giovanni Ribisi, Ben Foster, J.K. Simmons, Caleb Landry Jones, David O‘Hara, Lukas Haas, Diego Luna.

DIRECTOR: Baltasar Kormakur

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some rather unpleasant Panamanian vacations - straight ahead.



IT’S LIKE THIS: Just when reformed contraband (get it?) smuggler Chris Farraday (Mark Wahlberg) thought he’d left the bad life behind, he gets sucked back into it when his dipshit brother-in-law Andy (Caleb Landry Jones) does the very thing Chris told him not to do: “running” for slimy scumbag crime kingpin Tim Briggs, Chris’ former crony. One of Andy’s jobs for Tim goes bad, and he’s forced to toss over 10 pounds of blow (powder/snort kind, not mouth/suck kind - relax) into the bay of New Orleans to keep customs from snatching it.

Tim, understandably, ain’t too thrilled about this unforeseen glitch, even if it really isn’t Andy’s fault. Being a colossal prick, Tim beats Andy and a friend within an inch of their lives, and tells Chris that if Andy doesn’t pony up the $5,000,000 that the blow would’ve fetched, he’s coming after all of them - to include Chris’s wife Kate (Kate Beckinsale) and their two sons. Before you know it, Chris is reluctantly organizing one last “run” with fellow ex-smuggler and best pal Sebastian Abney (Ben Foster) to dig Andy and his clan out of the hole. This involves infiltrating a Panama-bound cargo ship, where Chris and his crew must snag a bunch of counterfeit cash (in sheets) from a murderous Panamanian kingpin (Diego Luna) and smuggle it back to New Orleans, detected. The shit you do for family, huh?

THE DUDE (OR DUDETTE) MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: Chris - easily. Mark Wahlberg could be playing The Hamburglar, and still win this award.

Kick ass!


EYE CANDY MOST LIKELY TO FIRE UP A WOODY: Mark Wahlberg, who is like an American Russell Crowe. Kate Beckinsale and Ben Foster tie for second.

Sexay…

Sexay…

Sexay…


MOST INTENTIONALLY EXCITING SCENE: Chris and co.’s little day trip in Panama, where they must fetch the “contraband” and get their fine asses back to the ship before that asshole captain leaves them behind.

Bond.  Mark Bond.


MOST UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS SCENE: Kate telling Andy not to worry, because Tim probably won’t come after him and kill him for losing over $5 million worth of Tim’s cocaine. Remember the “I.T.F.F.R. Look” we discussed in previous reviews? As in: “Is This Fucker For Real?” Well, let’s just say that’s the look Chris gives his wife for this exceedingly naïve (read: stupid) statement.

Are you serious, bitch?


HOTTEST SCENE: Any time Mark Wahlberg gets to furrow those eyebrows. Sexiest eyebrows this side of Michael Keaton, Colin O‘Donoghue, Chris Evans, Famke Janssen, Jennifer Connelly, and my # 1 man Russell Crowe…

Hawt!

And the rest of the “Eyebrow Porn Brigade”:

Hawt!
Michael Keaton

Hawt!
Colin O’Donoghue

Hawt!
Chris

Hawt!
Famke Janssen

Hawt!
Jennifer Connelly

Hawt!
Russ


INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: Will Chris be able to save Andy, Kate, and the rest of his family? Will his high-stakes, all-or-nothing gamble down in Panama work? Or will the asshole captain catch on to what he and his team is up to? And what happens when the dangerous Panamanian drug lord double-crosses him? Will their plan still work? Or does Chris have to think fast and improvise? Meanwhile, back in New Orleans, can Sebastian continue to protect Kate from Tim and his homeys? Or does, ahem, Sebastian have some secrets of his own? If so, what are they? And will they help - or hinder - Chris? And the most important question of all: is it really that easy to get your mits on millions of dollars worth of counterfeit money? If so, I need assemble my own crack team of, uh, crackheads and head to Panama, ASAP!!!


WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH “CONTRABAND”: If you saw and liked the original Icelandic film this is based on, REYKJAVIK-ROTTERDAM. And if you like reasonably entertaining action/thrillers, and are a fan of Mark Wahlberg, Kate Beckinsale, Giovanni Ribisi, or Ben Foster.

WHY YOU MAY NOT ENJOY “CONTRABAND”: If you are more into light comedies or romances. And if Mark Wahlberg, Giovanni Ribisi, and Ben Foster are too intense for you.

BUT, SERIOUSLY: Baltasar Kormakur is the star of the 2008 Iceland action/thriller REYKAVIK-ROTTERDAM, and in an interesting twist, he has been given the directorial helms for its American remake CONTRABAND. It’s not uncommon for foreign directors to direct the American versions of their previously successful films (Takashi Shimizu with JU-ON and THE GRUDGE, Ole Bornedal with NATTEVAGEN and NIGHT WATCH). It is far less common, though, for the star of a foreign film to do the same. After all, even the most talented actor may not have the first clue of how to tell a story visually. In the case of REYKJAVIK-ROTTERDAM and CONTRABAND, original director Oskar Jonasson doesn‘t return for the American remake - his original star Kormakur does.

Fortunately, it appears Kormakur knows a thing or two about directing a film, and the result is a solid action/thriller that is seriously helped by the intensity and charisma of its lead and his supporting cast. I have not seen REYKJAVIK-ROTTERDAM, and can’t compare it to CONTRABAND, but it must be at least an above-average film it warranted an American remake. While the practice of smuggling has been shown in many thrillers, it mostly has been presented as tangential subplots - and not the main thrust of the film as it is here. This gives CONTRABAND a degree of originality. While you can’t help but wish Kormakur and his writers would’ve delved into the topic a little more, they still manage to take us on a relatively tense and entertaining ride by going into somewhat uncharted territory.

Mark Wahlberg always turns up the heat in any film he’s in, and I don’t mean that in a sexual way (although he is most definitely attractive). I mean that in a dramatic way. The man has a powerful screen presence. He walks into a room, everyone takes notice, and the air becomes charged with anticipation - “something is going to happen“. The only other film stars I’ve seen with this kind of electricity are Russell Crowe, Tom Cruise, and Chris Evans. Wahlberg turns Chris Farraday into a solid, decisive hero that we can get behind, and he has nice way of hinting at deeper layers with simple looks, gestures, and movements. Watch for the early scene at the hospital, where Kate tries to reassure Andy that Tim and his goons won’t come after him anymore. The contrary look on Chris’ face very much says otherwise - and it is a chilling moment. Wahlberg pretty much makes this movie.

The strong support is headed up by Kate Beckinsale as Chris’ imperiled wife Kate. Beckinsale is a talented actress and handles this easy role well. She doesn’t get much to do here except fret and comfort her kids, but she does it sympathetically. To be fair, Kormakur and his writers try their best to involve Kate in the plot, especially in the third act. Giovanni Ribisi turns in another edgy, unpredictable performance as Tim Briggs, the lowlife crime lord whom Chris locks horns with. As with all his roles, the talented Ribisi manages to show some specks of humanity within his scummy character. But the most interesting presence (after Wahlberg) is the intense Ben Foster as Chris’ best pal Sebastian, who reveals some surprising sides as CONTRABAND unfolds. Like Wahlberg, Foster conveys a lot of these layers with some very telling non-verbals. Foster’s standout scene is Sebastian’s confrontation late in the film with an Irish crime lord played by David O’Hara. Foster shows a lot of Sebastian’s guilt, shame, and fear - without saying a word. Talented, talented man.

Ultimately, CONTRABAND can stand on its own as a good film. At some point, I’d like to watch REYKJAVIK-ROTTERDAM just to see how it compares to its American cousin. Until then, kudos to star/director Baltasar Kormakur for giving us some solid entertainment that nicely showcases the talents of Mark Wahlberg, Kate Beckinsale, Ben Foster, and Giovanni Ribisi.