MOVIE RATING SCALE:

***** (Spectacular) 10

****1/2 (Excellent) 9

**** (Very Good) 8

***1/2 (Good) 7

*** (Above Average) 6

**1/2 (Average) 5

** (Below Average) 4

*1/2 (Mediocre) 3

* (Awful) 2

1/2 (Abysmal) 1

0 (Worthless) 0


Monday, January 16, 2012

# 420 - THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (2011)

# 420 - THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (2011)

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (2011 - MYSTERY / THRILLER) **** out of *****

(If this movie is to be believed, those Swedes are even more repressed than the Japanese - and that‘s saying something…)

Piercings much?

CAST: Daniel Craig, Rooney Mara, Robin Wright, Christopher Plummer, Stellan Skarsgaard, Steven Berkoff, Joely Richardson, Geraldine James, Yorick Van Wageningen, Ulf Friberg, Embeth Davidtz, Moe Garpensal.

DIRECTOR: David Fincher

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some strong arguments for never going to any family reunions - straight ahead.




IT’S LIKE THIS: Remember how in our last review, THE DEVIL INSIDE, we talked about how its heroine Isabella Rossi’s family was seriously dysfunctional? What with her mom killing three people while supposedly demonically possessed? Then subsequently getting institutionalized in a Rome hospital for the criminally insane? Well, compared to the Vangers, the fucked-up family in our latest review THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO, the Rossis were virtually like the Cleavers. Yes, folks. It could always be worse, and the Vangers are proof of that. On the surface, they appear to be Sweden’s powerful first family - kind of like the Kennedys but with Swedish meatballs, pickled gherkins, lingonberry jam, and serial murder served at dinner each week. Even the family’s powerful patriarch Henrik Vanger (Christopher Plummer) essentially says he would trust a rattlesnake with PMS before placing faith in most of his immediate family. That’s bad.

At any rate, Henrik hires troubled journalist Mikael Blomquist (Daniel Craig) to write his memoirs and do a little, erm, family research. Why Mikael of all people? Well, for starters he: (1) is a brilliant, determined, and incisive writer who always has integrity; and (2) needs a new gig ever since he tussled unsuccessfully with a powerful tycoon (Ulf Friberg) who didn’t care for Mikael’s unflattering but brutally honest portrayal of him. See where integrity gets you? Anyhow, it turns out the “memoirs” job is just a smokescreen, and Henrik really wants Mikael to solve the mystery of his favorite niece Harriett’s (Moa Garpendal) disappearance during a family reunion on the Vanger island estate almost 45 years ago. And he’s sure one of the family members is responsible. Told you they were a bunch of snakes.

Helping Mikael in his investigation is brilliant loner punk computer hacker Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara), who is like James Bond, Lara Croft, Hannibal Lecter, Smilla Jaspersen, The Crow, Superman, and a whole tattoo/piercing parlor - rolled into one. Turns out Lisbeth helped do the background check on Mikael before Henrik hired him - and she knows all the most vital stats about him. Such as he wears sports briefs - not the boxer kind, but the bikini kind. And is good with his tongue. Which, if I was Lisbeth, is all I would need to know. Let the party begin…


THE DUDE (OR DUDETTE) MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: Lisbeth, hands down. Like I said, this chick is basically Superman - but without a dick and more body piercings. Mikael is basically just her bitch boy. Without her, he’d scarcely be able to solve the mystery of how to get his car door unlocked - let alone the one about Harriet’s disappearance.

Lisbeth Rules!


EYE CANDY MOST LIKELY TO FIRE UP A WOODY: Daniel Craig, hands down. As if there was any doubt…

Sexay…


MOST INTENTIONALLY SCARY SCENE: Lisbeth’s sleazebag “parole officer” (Yorick Van Wageningen) roughing her up in the worst way. I refuse to show a picture of it - it’s that disturbing. Anyone who has read the book knows what I’m talking about - but also knows that Lisbeth eventually gets her sweet revenge. That one, I will show a picture of. Because the bastard deserves it.

Take that!


MOST UNINTENTIONALLY SCARY SCENE: Any scene where Mikael wanders around the Vanger island estate. That place is just a little less inviting than a mortuary. How could anyone live there for a long period of time? No wonder the Vangers are so fucked-up.

Yikes!


HOTTEST SCENE: Mikael and Lisbeth get it on a few times in this flick, but there’s just something iffy and icky about the whole thing, since she looks young enough to be his daughter. So, I suppose, this award has to go to the brief glimpse of darkly gorgeous Embeth Davidtz as Mikael’s lawyer sister Annika at a Christmas party. Hopefully we will get to see more of Embeth’s beauty and talents in the sequels…

Hawt!


INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: So… what happened to Harriet? Did one of the Vangers kill her and hide the body? Or is there another explanation? If so, what is it? And what secrets are the other family members hiding? How will Mikael and Lisbeth discover them? And what does Anita Vanger (Joely Richardson), who fled to London because she hates her family so much, know about that day back in 1966? As Harriet’s best friend, what answers does Anita have? And what happens when Mike and Lizzy eventually link Harriet’s disappearance to a series of serial murders reaching all the way back to the 1940s? Is her death connected somehow to those crimes? Is the killer still loose? Who will be the next victim? Mikael? Lisbeth? Henrik? Anita? Annika? The Swedish Chef from THE MUPPETS? Say it ain’t so! I love that goofy bastard…

Wurly Wurly Wurly…


WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH “THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO”: If you’re a fan of the book and the Swedish film adaptation starring Noomi Rapace. And if you like moody, atmospheric mystery/thrillers that peer into dark souls under seemingly-respectable facades….

WHY YOU MAY NOT ENJOY “THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO”: If you didn’t like the book or the Swedish film adaptation. And if you would rather see sunny, chirpy romantic comedies. Because this movie is at the opposite end of the spectrum from those flicks…

BUT, SERIOUSLY: I’ve only read a few snippets of the novel “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” by the late journalist Stieg Larsson, but I have to say that it reminds me a lot of my favorite book of all time: the wonderful “Smilla’s Sense Of Snow” by Peter Hoeg, published in 1992. In fact, I would venture to even say that Hoeg’s book may have even paved the way for Larsson’s novel. I wouldn’t be surprised if Larsson was actually inspired by “Smilla’s Sense Of Snow” and perhaps wrote “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” as somewhat of an homage. Both novels share some striking similarities: (1) both were written by Scandinavian authors (Hoeg is Danish, Larsson was Swedish) and set in wintry, brooding environments; (2) both revolve around quirky, brilliant, nonconforming heroines who don’t care what society thinks of them; (3) both deal with serpentine mysteries involving seemingly-respectable members of high society that the heroines and their male sidekick must unravel at a great danger to themselves.

“Smilla’s Sense Of Snow” was ultimately turned into a movie in 1997, and while it was a solid, above-average thriller, SMILLA’S SENSE OF SNOW didn’t quite capture the existential and philosophical leanings of the novel. Furthermore, Smilla as played by the lovely Julia Ormond in an otherwise creditable performance, just wasn’t rough-edged or acidly humorous enough. Not having read completely though Larsson’s novel, I can’t honestly say how THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO compares to it (or the Swedish adaptation). What I saw onscreen, though, was a very good mystery/thriller with some moody underpinnings and bleak atmosphere - much like SMILLA’S SENSE OF SNOW. GIRL rates higher than SMILLA because of a more twisty third act and satisfying (and poignant) double ending.

I’m not sure if the essence of Mikael Blomquist and Lisbeth Salander transfers faithfully from the novel, but both are vividly played by Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara, respectively. Craig brings his usual combo of steely grit and quiet intelligence, and does a good job of keeping Mikael from appearing as just another crusading journalist. Meanwhile, Mara delivers a suitably unpredictable and restless performance as the troubled hacker who is more tenacious and gifted than everyone around her combined. I’ve heard that Mara’s take on Lisbeth is a bit softer and more vulnerable than Noomi Rapace’s interpretation in the Swedish film. I think that’s a good thing, because it allows us to sympathize with the character more. Given that she’s already a fairly formidable person with all her piercing, tattoos, and rough-edged intelligence, Lisbeth’s more accessible vulnerability courtesy of Mara is very welcome indeed.

The supporting cast is stellar, peopled by such luminaries as Robin Wright, Christopher Plummer, Stellan Skarsgaard, Joely Richardson, Steven Berkoff, Embeth Davidtz, Geraldine James, and Yorick Van Wageningen (who was so likable in the recent wonder THE WAY, but is despicable here - I guess that’s what they call “acting”). In the end, though, this movie is Craig and Mara’s, and it could’ve easily foundered had they been ineffective or miscast in their roles. Fortunately, they weren’t - and they successfully make this a promising harbinger for the next two films in the GIRL trilogy: THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE and THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET’S NEST.

If Craig and Mara stay on board, and if David Fincher (SEVEN, THE GAME) continues to direct them, there’s a good chance we could have a quality trilogy that may even reach classic status. Here’s hoping…