MOVIE RATING SCALE:

***** (Spectacular) 10

****1/2 (Excellent) 9

**** (Very Good) 8

***1/2 (Good) 7

*** (Above Average) 6

**1/2 (Average) 5

** (Below Average) 4

*1/2 (Mediocre) 3

* (Awful) 2

1/2 (Abysmal) 1

0 (Worthless) 0


Tuesday, January 3, 2012

# 412 - PRETTY WOMAN (1990)

PRETTY WOMAN (1990 - ROMANTIC COMEDY) **** out of *****

(Prostitution: it‘s not just a job, it‘s an adventure - enlist now and get a signing bonus and free bitch-slap from your pimp…)

Let the negotiations begin…

CAST: Richard Gere, Julia Roberts, Jason Alexander, Hector Elizondo, Laura San Giacomo, Alex Hyde-White, Ralph Bellamy, Amy Yasbeck.

DIRECTOR: Garry Marshall

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some tempting reasons to become a hooker - straight ahead…




IT’S LIKE THIS: In what has got to be one of the more bizarre hooker-oriented turn-of-events since the whole Heidi Fleiss kerfluffle, heartless NYC business tycoon Edward Lewis (Richard Gere), who’s in L.A. for a week to close a big deal, has a chance encounter with so-smoking-and-sweet-she-can-only-exist-in-the-movies street walker Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts). What starts out as Vivian guiding the driving-impaired Edward back to his chi-chi Beverly Hills hotel turns into a one-night-rental of her services (no kissing, but blowjobs galore) - which eventually turns into another business deal: Edward will pay Vivian $3,000 to be his, ahem, companion for the week. It’s a fairly cut and dried arrangement - just straight up sex and money, no falling in love. And when the week is over, it’s bye-bye forever.

And if you believe things are actually going to shake down they way Edward and Vivian agreed, then you obviously don’t know your way around Romantic Comedy Land. Be wary of any love affair/relationship that starts on Hollywood Boulevard at night…


THE DUDE (OR DUDETTE) MOST LIKELY TO SAVE THE DAY: Barney Thompson (Hector Elizondo), the seemingly cold but actually pretty awesome manager of the hotel. He helps our heroine be, well, less of a graceless whore and more of a gracious lady by… telling her where to shop, how to use fine dining silverware, and giving her a limo ride whenever she needs it. As Viv says about him later, he’s one “cool dude.”

Praise the help!

Praise the help!

EYE CANDY MOST LIKELY TO FIRE UP A WOODY: As with Harrison Ford, I can’t look upon Richard Gere in an Eye Candy way because of, shall we say, a “family resemblance”. But paired up with Julia Roberts, it goes over a little better.

Sexay…

MOST INTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS SCENE: Viv walking innocently into a Rodeo Drive boutique in all her micro-minied, thigh-high booted, big-haired hooker glory - and getting treated like shit by the snooty shopgirls. That’s not the hilarious part, though. It’s actually kind of sad. Nope, the hilarious part is when Viv shows up the next day looking like The First Lady Of Beverly Hills - and proceeds to rub those snobby bitches’ faces into the fact that they are about to lose a gigantic commission. Take that, hussies…

Oh, no, you didn‘t…

Oh, no, you didn‘t…

Oh, no, you didn‘t…


MOST UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS SCENE: Edward presenting some serious bling to Vivian - then snapping the box shut on her purdy little fingers. This was not scripted, but a spontaneous act on Gere’s part. Roberts’ lovely surprised reaction is completely natural, folks. Director Gary Marshall loved it so much he kept in the final cut.

Watch your fingers…

HOTTEST SCENE: Edward and Vivian chillin’ in the park, while he reads Shakespeare to her - as she gazes adoringly at him. It’s a fact: poetry is some potent foreplay. I should know. Ahem. Especially if it's Arrigo Boito's...

Poetry is sexy…

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW: Do Edward and Vivian have a relationship beyond that one week? Can a cold-hearted business tycoon and a big-hearted Hollywood hooker actually have a real relationship? Or should they just enjoy it while it lasts? What happens when Edward’s sleazy lawyer Stuckey gets wind of the fact that Vivian is, ahem, a “Lady of the NIght”? Will he call Edward on it? Or will he do something even worse like - ewwww - proposition Vivian with his own offer? Can there be a Happy Ending for our lovebirds? I mean, other than the one Vivian gives Edward every night? Ahem?

Don‘t drop the flowers!…

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH “PRETTY WOMAN”: If you love sweet, if also highly improbable, romantic comedies about people from very different walks of life who come together (literally and figuratively) and live happily ever after. Or, at least, until the sequel.

WHY YOU MAY NOT ENJOY “PRETTY WOMAN”: If you think there’s a greater chance of Russell Crowe and I marrying and opening a cattle ranch in Colorado than a powerful tycoon and sweet whore ever hooking up for real.

Ride me, cowboy!

Ride me, cowboy!

But I digress…

BUT, SERIOUSLY: Many quarters consider PRETTY WOMAN to be a modern comedy classic, and I would hardly argue with them. Despite its highly improbable premise, the movie has an authentic sweetness to it and genuine spirit of romance that is completely sold by stars Julia Roberts and Richard Gere - as well-matched a duo as you could ever find. What most folks don’t know, though, is PRETTY WOMAN’s interesting genesis from script to screen. The original draft of the screenplay was simply titled “3,000” (the amount of money Edward pays Vivian for spending the week with him), and was much, much, much darker. In fact, it could hardly be labeled a “Romantic Comedy” as we know the genre. If anything, it was more of very, very black comedy with a dreary, downbeat tone.

Just to give you an idea of the difference between 3,000 and the final version called PRETTY WOMAN, Vivian was a habitual drug user in the former and was clean in the latter. Also, Edward never really thawed like he did in the actual movie. He treated Vivian like a possession and wasn’t as protective as he was in the final product. Also, there is no happy ending in 3,000. Instead, Edward throws Vivian out of the limo in an alley (no joke) and throws her payment in the air - and she has to desperately scramble to gather the bills. And the final shot in the original script was Vivian and Kit (played in the movie by Laura San Giacomo) going to Disneyland on a bus, with Vivian looking sad and defeated. Needless to say, not the PRETTY WOMAN we know and love.

I don’t know at what point director Garry Marshall, writer J.F. Lawton, and the producers eventually decided to “lighten” up the script and turn it into the unlikely but enjoyable fairy tale that we all saw- but I’m just glad they did. While the original story was a fairly realistic depiction of the complex “relationship” between a heartless businessman and a troubled prostitute, it’s not the kind of film that would give anyone any warm fuzzies. I’m not ashamed to say that I love PRETTY WOMAN in its final form, despite its sometimes implausible turns of plot.

Make no misake, though: PRETTY WOMAN could have still failed with the wrong stars. Had the film starred anyone other than Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, this might have been nothing more than a passable time-killer. With them in the the lead roles, however, it becomes something much more. Gere and Roberts have an electric chemistry that keeps us leaning forward with interest as Edward and Vivian’s relationship develops. I’ve always said that you can tell a screen couple has great chemistry when you can’t wait to see them onscreen together. When one person disappears from the scene, you pretty much count the minutes until they are reunited with the other person. Gere and Roberts have that kind of connection here.

This is the movie that made Julia Roberts a mega-star. Prior to PRETTY WOMAN, she had starred in the forgettable girl-band flick SATISFACTION with Liam Neeson and Justine Bateman, then got more favorable attention in the popular dramedy STEEL MAGNOLIAS with Sally Field. But it is here where Roberts truly delivers a star-making performance. She’s a fascinating blend of nervous anxiety, earthy toughness, and wide-eyed humor. She makes Vivian into a very human figure and practically sells the character single-handedly. My favorite sequence in the movie is one that often goes unnoticed: the breakfast scene between Edward and Vivian the morning after their first encounter where she is so openly dazzled and intimidated by this powerful businessman. There’s a part where she finds out that he just sold a company for a billion dollars and responds: “ Your parents must be so proud of you, huh?” Roberts delivers the line with such gee-whiz innocence and sweetness that instantly paints Vivian in more distinct shades than your typical “hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold” cliché.

Then there’s Gere, who sidesteps his tendency to sometimes come across as self-impressed and overly cocky. Here, he’s still got the swagger he is known for - but he tempers it with unexpected doses of humility, humor, and uncertainty. There are some points where he is almost shy and tentative - like a little schoolboy. The overall impression I get of Edward is a guy who is forever trying to hide his humanity behind an ice-cold façade. After all, you have to be ruthless to survive in the highly-competitive world of international business, right? His unexpected connection to Vivian proves that this isn’t always the case. Edward’s decision to do the right thing concerning a deal with business rival James Morse (Ralph Bellamy) is the crowning point of his character arc - and ends with Edward finding a beloved father figure in James.

Hector Elizondo, Laura San Giacomo, and Jason Alexander round out the supporting cast quite nicely. Elizondo’s character of Barney Thompson is a major delight - and watching him eventually develop a sort of “Father-Daughter” relationship with Vivian is a satisfying thread that echoes the Edward-James connection. One of PRETTY WOMAN’s best scenes sees Barney coaching Vivian on how to navigate the complexities of fine-dining etiquette. San Giacomo makes the most of her small but important role as Vivian’s best friend Kit, even giving her something of a character arc of her own. The last shot of Kit promises better things for her future. Which is more than can be said for the smarmy attorney Stuckey played by Jason Alexander. He’s the true corporate shark of the movie, not Edward, and he gets his just desserts for his selfishness.

All in all, PRETTY WOMAN’s success was like catching lightning in a bottle. Even with its welcome change in tone and story from the original script, it still could’ve failed with the wrong leads up front. Fortunately, Richard Gere and Julia Roberts were lightning in a bottle themselves, along with a strong supporting cast, giving us one of the most-loved comedy classics of 20th century.

In closing, a tribute to the late, great Roy Orbison’s classic song - and the classic movie it graces:



And Roxette’s lovely and sad “It Must Have Been Love” and their more upbeat "I Could Never Give You Up"...