MOVIE RATING SCALE:

***** (Spectacular) 10

****1/2 (Excellent) 9

**** (Very Good) 8

***1/2 (Good) 7

*** (Above Average) 6

**1/2 (Average) 5

** (Below Average) 4

*1/2 (Mediocre) 3

* (Awful) 2

1/2 (Abysmal) 1

0 (Worthless) 0


Monday, October 11, 2010

# 120 - HAWKS (1988)

HAWKS (1988 - DRAMA/COMEDY/ROAD TRIP FLICK) ****½ out of *****

(They always tells us to live each day like it was our last. These guys took ‘em seriously….)

What say we change outta these dresses?

CAST: Timothy Dalton, Anthony Edwards, Janet McTeer, Camille Coduri, Julie T. Wallace, Sheila Bennett, Geoffrey Palmer, Sheila Hancock.

DIRECTOR: Robert Ellis Miller

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and pitch-black British humor straight ahead…




The famed British journalist and writer Holbrook Jackson once said, “Happiness is a form of courage.” In other words, happiness is often a choice. When the chips are down and the outlook is bleak, we can choose to wallow in the dark, or force ourselves to look up at the light - and be positive. This is often easier said than done, which is why Jackson compared forcing yourself to be happy to being brave. Everything difficult takes courage - and therefore, to paraphrase his words, happiness when the chips are down is a form of courage.

If there was ever a film that epitomized this saying, it’s HAWKS - a 1988 comedy that was made in between star Timothy Dalton’s only two Bond films (THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS in 1987, LICENCE TO KILL in 1989). His newfound Hollywood clout allowed this little-seen, but many-splendored, gem to get made. And thank goodness for that. I remember American critics reacting negatively to this film’s dark and sardonic humor when it first came out - especially given its subject matter: two patients dying of leukemia who escape from a London hospital for one last road trip across Europe. Doesn’t surprise me. Clearly, it was a case of the droll British humor not translating yet again.

Me? I fell in love with it the very first time I saw it - and it remains in my list of All-Time Favorites… Just as my experiences in Italy taught me the beauty of simplicity, seeing HAWKS as a kid taught me the early lesson that laughter sometimes truly is the best medicine - and while it may not always cure what ails you, it’ll almost certainly make you feel better.

The plot of HAWKS revolves around two men dying of leukemia: (1) Bancroft (Timothy Dalton), a terrifyingly sardonic barrister who refuses to go gently into that good night, and seizes every opportunity to escape from the hospital’s terminal ward to gallivant about town like each day might be last; and (2) Deckermensky, AKA Decker (Anthony Edwards), an American pro football player who is struck down while touring through Europe, and who is still adjusting to the fact that his days are numbered.

When we first glimpse Decker in the very beginning, he has just found out he’s dying - and subsequently tries to drive a dealership’s Audi into a quarry. He chickens out at the last minute, though - much to the relief of the dealer, who was standing nearby and feeling absolutely certain he’d have to foot the bill of the destroyed car. Doesn’t mean that Decker has given up on trying to end his own life, though. Far from it.

With all the Audi, Benz, and BMW dealerships in Southern Great Britain all warned about him, Decker’s next stop is the terminal ward of a London hospital. He quickly makes the acquaintance of his new and equally ill roommate: Bancroft. It turns out that, as far the nurses on the ward are concerned, Bancroft is pretty much the Anti-Christ. To wit, he’s: (1) intelligent, (2) sarcastic, (3) strong-willed, (4) resourceful, and (5) looks like Timothy Dalton. In other words, he’s fairly formidable.

Bancroft is determined to both laugh and live it up until it’s time for him to punch out. It doesn’t take him long to recruit Decker as a sidekick. Soon, the two of them are: (1) slipping out of the hospital to (2) party in downtown discos and (3) dine in fine restaurants while wearing (4) hospital scrubs because the evil head nurse (Julie T. Wallace) has resorted to hiding their clothes to keep them from escaping. Ha ha. Nice try, lady. Try again.

When Decker starts talking about ending it all by jumping off the hospital roof, Bancroft basically calls him on his bluff and tosses him - wheelchair and all - off the edge. Fortunately, there’s a garden ledge just a few feet below. While it’s distinctly possible that Decker crapped himself with fear over Bancroft’s stunt, it also wakes him up and makes him realize that he doesn’t want to go out that way. He starts to seriously consider Bancroft’s idea to escape from the hospital for good - and hit the road for one last kickin’ road trip when their brief period of remission starts. The only question is… road trip to where?

This quandary is resolved during one of their subsequent conversations. Bancroft asks Decker where he’d like to go for one last hurrah, if given half the chance. Decker, still an American horndog despite suffering from an incurable disease, immediately anwers: “Why, the Hotel Paradise in Amsterdam, of course!”

The Hotel Paradise, in case you’re wondering, is a six-storey whorehouse in Amsterdam. Evidently, if there was Five Star Rating for brothels, this place would score about Nine Stars. In other words, it’s the Ritz Carlton of whorehouses. And this is where our young Decker would like to spend his last few weeks. And who is big brother Bancroft to begrudge him this last wish? Hell, he might enjoy it, too.

Soon enough, Bancroft and Decker commandeer an ambulance and bust out of that hospital like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, planning never to return again. At least, not alive. This comes as a relief to Evil Head Nurse, I’m sure. Anyhow, on the way to Amsterdam, our two heroes run into two British chicks who are also on their way to the Netherlands for their own reasons.

They are: (1) Hazel (Janet McTeer), a statuesque wallflower who falls instantly in love with Bancroft; and (2) Maureen (Camille Coduri), a petite firecracker who immediately starts jonesing for our American lad, Decker. In case you’re wondering what’s on the gals' agendas (besides hooking up with our heroes), Hazel has just found out she’s pregnant and is enroute to inform her Dutch fling that he’s about to be a father. Poor sod.

The rest of HAWKS chronicles the growing relationships between these two couples. Will Bancroft and Decker tell the ladies that they haven’t got long to live when the remission ends? Will Hazel and Maureen cotton on first? And what will they do once they find out? Will the Bancroft - a man who is an expert in hiding his feelings - open his heart to Hazel’s blind kindness? Or will he shut her out to - like he has done with everyone else? Will Decker get his last wish of hitting all six floors of the Hotel Paradise on one box of condoms? Does he even need them? Is a happy ending possible for two men who find love just as they’re about to check out?

See for yourself. Trust me - you'll be laughing and crying. At least I was. I’m not even going to deny it… So be careful who you watch it with.


BUT, SERIOUSLY: Someone recently told me that Jack Nicholson’s THE BUCKET LIST was essentially a remake of HAWKS. My response: “Bite your goddamned tongue.” Don’t get me wrong - THE BUCKET LIST was a decent flick. But it doesn’t even come close to approaching the beauty, honesty, and - yes - brilliant humor of HAWKS. I don’t want this film to be remade - ever. It’s one of a kind, and should stay that way.

I can understand why a lot of American critics didn’t get this movie. I suppose they were a bit aghast that a subject as serious as terminal illness was given such a raunchy and sardonic treatment. All I can say is, “That’s the Brits for you.” Great Britain has a way of crafting comedy/dramas that cut through the crap, trample on convention, forge a new path, but still remain emotionally-honest and real. I guess U.S. audiences at the time (and, arguably, now) wanted their humor to be sugar-coated. If that’s the case, they would have loved THE BUCKET LIST. It doesn’t have the raw edge that HAWKS has - and thank goodness.

The cast is glorious. Bancroft is one of Timothy Dalton’s best roles, and Dalton turns the character into a fascinating blend of cool yet passionate, soft and hard, kind and harsh, vulnerable and formidable. He is essentially a successful man rendered human by his illness, and is not only grappling with his sudden mortality - but also the fact that he still has a lot he wants to see and experience. It’s a bravura performance that will both surprise and move.

As Bancroft’s less complex buddy, Decker, Anthony Edwards is equally terrific. Even though he is a more fathomable creature than Bancroft, he is no less interesting. Decker is one of those guys that display everything on their sleeves, and walk through life with an open and unassuming heart. It’s only natural that he would arouse Bancroft’s protective instincts. Edwards also deftly shows the smarts underneath Decker’s seemingly laid-back demeanor - and surprises Bancroft (and us) a few times. Edwards and Dalton make a great comic and dramatic team.

As the two women who have a huge impact on their trip, Janet McTeer and Camille Coduri are perfection. McTeer emphasizes Hazel’s haunting sweetness. Here is a girl who’d fall on a sword for someone she loves. It’s obvious that her kind and generous nature has led to her being taken advantage of in the past, but she refuses to let this jade her - and persistently reaches out to the initially resistant Bancroft. She senses the pain inside of him - way before she even finds out about his illness. Just as with Bancroft’s refusal to cave in to his situation, Hazel’s decision to remain sweet and optimistic despite the hard turns her life has taken is admirable. These two characters, Bancroft and Hazel, truly drive home Holbrook Jackson’s words: “Happiness is a form of courage.”

Camille Coduri’s role as the no-nonsense and feisty Maureen is meant to be a counterpoint to the more tentative Hazel, and Coduri knocks one out of the park. Despite her constant exasperation of her gawky friend, it’s clear that Maureen cares a great deal about Hazel. And in the third act, when the girls find out about Bancroft and Decker’s condition, Maureen’s reaction is touching and surprising. Coduri’s comedic and dramatic skills are put to very good use here.

And I just have to add that the montage sequence in which Bancroft, Hazel, Decker, and Maureen relax by riding bicycles and going boating in rural Holland, with the lovely song “Childhood Days” by Barry Gibb playing on the soundtrack, is exceedingly magical. Too bad the HAWKS soundtrack is so rare that the few copies out there sell for upwards of $150. Geeez.

I couldn't find a trailer for HAWKS on YouTube (the movie is that rare). However, I found something even better: another fan of the film posted the section of the movie that contains the lovely montage sequence I mention above - and I embedded that at the top of this review. It's a great scene - simple yet very moving. Especially given Bancroft and Decker's situation. For them - for us all, really - every second counts.

Verdict: HAWKS is one those movies that can truly be described as “an undiscovered gem.” For some, its gallows humor may be too dark and tart. For others (like me), it’s absolutely perfect. And I will never forget it.