Hello, folks. Hope everyone is well this Monday evening, as we go into May - and one step closer to our Summer Movie Season, starting with THE AVENGERS, MEN IN BLACK 3, and THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN. But before we get neck-deep in superheroes with perfect bubble butts (and hot guys who finally stopped wearing baggy jeans in favor of snug ones to showcase their small but perfect asses - FINALLY), we have to get through the last of our April Reviews. As a reminder, please find them below:
# 451 - SATURNO CONTRO
# 452 - SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN
# 453 - THE RAVEN
Then we're into the lovely time of the year known as "Explosion And Eye Candy Season". Please expect the Summer Movie Schedule to post by Thursday evening. Then we're off to the cinematic races...
In closing, Sheryl Crow's glorious ode to Summer... "Soak Up The Sun". Here's to Summer, movies, and that wonderful invention called "tight jeans"! Love. It.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
# 450 - THE BROTHERS BLOOM (2008)
THE BROTHERS BLOOM (2008 - COMEDY / ROMANCE / HEIST FLICK) *** out of *****
(Quirky con artists on the loose - watch out: those are the most dangerous kind...)
CAST: Mark Ruffalo, Adrien Brody, Rachel Weisz, Rinku Kikuchi, Robbie Coltrane, Maximillian Schell, Zachary Gordon, Max Records.
DIRECTOR: Rian Johnson
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and a couple of marauding shysters - and one seriously dippy heiress - straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: The heroes of our next review are a couple of particularly naughty boys. You see, Stephen (Mark Ruffalo) and Bloom (Adrien Brody) have been conning people for their money ever since they were children. Their first con was when Stephen was 13 and Bloom was 10, and they somehow convinced a bunch of their dipshit friends that there was treasure in a cave deep in the woods. Obviously having seen THE GOONIES one too many times, the kids fell hard for Stephen and Bloom's schpiel, and paid an "entrance fee" to the cave. As you can imagine, their parents weren't too thrilled when they learned where the kids' allowance money went to.
Flash forward some, oh, 20-25 years later, and we find that our lovable scoundrels are still out there scoundreling - and banking some nice dough, thank you very much. However, while Stephen is content to keep on doing this larcenous and scoundrelly shit, baby bro Bloom, on the other hand, yearns to start over and live a con-free life. You know what that means, right: one last big score, then the boys will go straight. Well, you know what I mean...
Anyhow, the boys and their goofy # 3 Bang Bang (Rinko Kikuchi) set their sights on Penelope (Rachel Weisz), a fabulously wealthy chick whose New Jersey estate looks like it could house Disneyland, Magic Mountain, Wild Waves, and still have a couple dozen acres for a soccer training facility. I should also add that Penelope is a classic example of when one has too much money and too much spare time. She basically spends her days, um, "collecting hobbies" such as gymnastic skateboarding, breakdancing, and juggling chainsaws on stilts. Yes, folks: this is one chick that could use some adventure.
Before you know it, Stephen, Bloom, and Bang Bang have roped Penelope into a complicated scheme that involves taking a steamboat all the way to Europe, then trying to steal a centuries-old prayer book from a museum in Prague. Really. Would I make this shit up? If it were up to me I'd have the four of them just go to L.A. and try to break into the costume department at Dreamworks to see if they can steal Russell Crowe's gladiator outfit.
So... will our crazy quartet succeed in stealing the prayerbook? Or is it really an elaborate con to rip off Penelope? Is Penelope actually a few steps ahead of everyone else? Does she have her own con going? Who's fucking around with who here? What happens when a fat bastard called The Belgian (Robbie Coltrane) gets involved? And what about the mysterious dude called Diamond Dog (Maximillian Schell) who is the Brothers Bloom's mortal enemy? What happens when he joins the party? Will anyone live to tell this tale?
Well, like I've always said: "in a game of cat and mouse, you have to know who is the cat and who is the mouse..." Actually, it's more exciting if you don't know....
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Watching THE BROTHERS BLOOM, you can't help but feel writer/director Rian Johnson was somehow influenced by the work of Wes Anderson. Anderson wrote and directed such quirky, surreal, and droll fare as THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS, THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU, THE DARJEELING LIMITED, and the upcoming MOONRISE KINGDOM. I'm a huge fan of Anderson's work, and he manages the delicate juggling act of blending eccentricity with emotion without upsetting the balance. Not everyone can do this, and further proof of that arrives with our latest review.
THE BROTHERS BLOOM seems to be modeled after Anderson's quirky and whimsical template. Unfortunately, writer/director Rian Johnson doesn't quite manage the perfect balance of quirk, whimsy, and pathos that Anderson can do in his sleep. That's not to say, however, that THE BROTHERS BLOOM is a bad film. Far from it. It is well-acted and well-made. The problem, though, lies in the aforementioned inability of Johnson to blend the film's different tones seamlessly, resulting in some jarring changes in tone.
The other issue is the fact that this film is, at its heart, a Bromance - yet Mark Ruffalo and Adrien Brody are simply not believable as brothers. It goes beyond just physical looks, although that is a start: Ruffalo has a classic Italian handsomeness, while Brody's features are more atypically and unconventionally Anglo. All this might not have mattered if the chemistry between them was potent. Unfortunately, it is non-existent and this affects their scenes together. Ruffalo and Brody are fine in their individual scenes with the other characters, but together they generate no warmth or sparks - the way brothers who deeply love each other but are sometimes in conflict should. Since we can't really buy into Stephen and Bloom's connection, the emotional center of THE BROTHERS BLOOM is off. As a result, the climactic encounter between Stephen and Bloom falls somewhat flat.
Fortunately, there is Bloom's gradually-blooming connection to Penelope, whom Rachel Weisz beautifully plays in all her weird, quirky, nonconformist glory. There is a genuine sense of kindred spirits meeting in their interactions, which helps the film considerably. Some of THE BROTHERS BLOOM's best scenes stem from Bloom and Penelope's relationship arc. If Brody doesn't quite click with Ruffalo, he more than clicks with Weisz, all to the better of the film. I can only imagine how this might have turned out if the Bloom-Penelope angle had been as tepid as the Bloom-Stephen one.
Rinko Kikuchi is an added delight as the near-silent Bang Bang, who acts like a non-verbal Peanut Gallery to the shenanigans of the other three in the group. Her gestures, expressions, and one hilarious line of dialogue help give THE BROTHERS BLOOM some of the quirky Wes Anderson flavor that it so obviously craves. Robbie Coltrane is similarly appealing as The Belgian, although he ultimately doesn't get as much screentime as the lead quartet.
In the end, THE BROTHERS BLOOM is an above average film that would've rated considerably higher if the central "romance" of the film - the bromance between Stephen and Bloom - had been a compelling one. Had this emotional hook been effective, and had the film's tone been as seamless as Wes Anderson's films, Rian Johnson might've had a classic on his hands. As it is, it's merely a cut above okay.
In closing, please enjoy a track from THE BROTHERS BLOOM's score by Nathan Johnson. This track is titled "Penelope's Theme" and is a light, sweet ode to the movie's heroine...
(Quirky con artists on the loose - watch out: those are the most dangerous kind...)
CAST: Mark Ruffalo, Adrien Brody, Rachel Weisz, Rinku Kikuchi, Robbie Coltrane, Maximillian Schell, Zachary Gordon, Max Records.
DIRECTOR: Rian Johnson
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and a couple of marauding shysters - and one seriously dippy heiress - straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: The heroes of our next review are a couple of particularly naughty boys. You see, Stephen (Mark Ruffalo) and Bloom (Adrien Brody) have been conning people for their money ever since they were children. Their first con was when Stephen was 13 and Bloom was 10, and they somehow convinced a bunch of their dipshit friends that there was treasure in a cave deep in the woods. Obviously having seen THE GOONIES one too many times, the kids fell hard for Stephen and Bloom's schpiel, and paid an "entrance fee" to the cave. As you can imagine, their parents weren't too thrilled when they learned where the kids' allowance money went to.
Flash forward some, oh, 20-25 years later, and we find that our lovable scoundrels are still out there scoundreling - and banking some nice dough, thank you very much. However, while Stephen is content to keep on doing this larcenous and scoundrelly shit, baby bro Bloom, on the other hand, yearns to start over and live a con-free life. You know what that means, right: one last big score, then the boys will go straight. Well, you know what I mean...
Anyhow, the boys and their goofy # 3 Bang Bang (Rinko Kikuchi) set their sights on Penelope (Rachel Weisz), a fabulously wealthy chick whose New Jersey estate looks like it could house Disneyland, Magic Mountain, Wild Waves, and still have a couple dozen acres for a soccer training facility. I should also add that Penelope is a classic example of when one has too much money and too much spare time. She basically spends her days, um, "collecting hobbies" such as gymnastic skateboarding, breakdancing, and juggling chainsaws on stilts. Yes, folks: this is one chick that could use some adventure.
Before you know it, Stephen, Bloom, and Bang Bang have roped Penelope into a complicated scheme that involves taking a steamboat all the way to Europe, then trying to steal a centuries-old prayer book from a museum in Prague. Really. Would I make this shit up? If it were up to me I'd have the four of them just go to L.A. and try to break into the costume department at Dreamworks to see if they can steal Russell Crowe's gladiator outfit.
So... will our crazy quartet succeed in stealing the prayerbook? Or is it really an elaborate con to rip off Penelope? Is Penelope actually a few steps ahead of everyone else? Does she have her own con going? Who's fucking around with who here? What happens when a fat bastard called The Belgian (Robbie Coltrane) gets involved? And what about the mysterious dude called Diamond Dog (Maximillian Schell) who is the Brothers Bloom's mortal enemy? What happens when he joins the party? Will anyone live to tell this tale?
Well, like I've always said: "in a game of cat and mouse, you have to know who is the cat and who is the mouse..." Actually, it's more exciting if you don't know....
BUT, SERIOUSLY: Watching THE BROTHERS BLOOM, you can't help but feel writer/director Rian Johnson was somehow influenced by the work of Wes Anderson. Anderson wrote and directed such quirky, surreal, and droll fare as THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS, THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU, THE DARJEELING LIMITED, and the upcoming MOONRISE KINGDOM. I'm a huge fan of Anderson's work, and he manages the delicate juggling act of blending eccentricity with emotion without upsetting the balance. Not everyone can do this, and further proof of that arrives with our latest review.
THE BROTHERS BLOOM seems to be modeled after Anderson's quirky and whimsical template. Unfortunately, writer/director Rian Johnson doesn't quite manage the perfect balance of quirk, whimsy, and pathos that Anderson can do in his sleep. That's not to say, however, that THE BROTHERS BLOOM is a bad film. Far from it. It is well-acted and well-made. The problem, though, lies in the aforementioned inability of Johnson to blend the film's different tones seamlessly, resulting in some jarring changes in tone.
The other issue is the fact that this film is, at its heart, a Bromance - yet Mark Ruffalo and Adrien Brody are simply not believable as brothers. It goes beyond just physical looks, although that is a start: Ruffalo has a classic Italian handsomeness, while Brody's features are more atypically and unconventionally Anglo. All this might not have mattered if the chemistry between them was potent. Unfortunately, it is non-existent and this affects their scenes together. Ruffalo and Brody are fine in their individual scenes with the other characters, but together they generate no warmth or sparks - the way brothers who deeply love each other but are sometimes in conflict should. Since we can't really buy into Stephen and Bloom's connection, the emotional center of THE BROTHERS BLOOM is off. As a result, the climactic encounter between Stephen and Bloom falls somewhat flat.
Fortunately, there is Bloom's gradually-blooming connection to Penelope, whom Rachel Weisz beautifully plays in all her weird, quirky, nonconformist glory. There is a genuine sense of kindred spirits meeting in their interactions, which helps the film considerably. Some of THE BROTHERS BLOOM's best scenes stem from Bloom and Penelope's relationship arc. If Brody doesn't quite click with Ruffalo, he more than clicks with Weisz, all to the better of the film. I can only imagine how this might have turned out if the Bloom-Penelope angle had been as tepid as the Bloom-Stephen one.
Rinko Kikuchi is an added delight as the near-silent Bang Bang, who acts like a non-verbal Peanut Gallery to the shenanigans of the other three in the group. Her gestures, expressions, and one hilarious line of dialogue help give THE BROTHERS BLOOM some of the quirky Wes Anderson flavor that it so obviously craves. Robbie Coltrane is similarly appealing as The Belgian, although he ultimately doesn't get as much screentime as the lead quartet.
In the end, THE BROTHERS BLOOM is an above average film that would've rated considerably higher if the central "romance" of the film - the bromance between Stephen and Bloom - had been a compelling one. Had this emotional hook been effective, and had the film's tone been as seamless as Wes Anderson's films, Rian Johnson might've had a classic on his hands. As it is, it's merely a cut above okay.
In closing, please enjoy a track from THE BROTHERS BLOOM's score by Nathan Johnson. This track is titled "Penelope's Theme" and is a light, sweet ode to the movie's heroine...
# 449 - PARIS (2008)
PARIS (2008 - ROMANCE / DRAMA) ***1/2 out of *****
(Ahhhhhh.... Parisiens in love...)
CAST: Juliette Binoche, Romaine Duris, Fabrice Lachini, Melanie Laurent, Albert Dupontel, Francois Cluzet, Karin Viard, Gilles Lelouche, Julie Ferrier, Sabrian Quazani.
DIRECTOR: Cedric Klapisch
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and a bunch of frisky Parisiens doing the LOVE ACTUALLY thang - straight ahead....
IT'S LIKE THIS: Pierre (Romaine Duris), the ostensible hero of our next review, is having a bad week. Sure, he's a hot French guy with an awesome Paris apartment and an even more awesome big sistah named Elise (Juliette Binoche), but what good is all of that if you've only got a few months to live? You see, Pierre finds out from his good ol' doctor that he has a rare heart condition and must undergo a heart transplant - which may not even guarantee Pierre any additional time. Still, Pierre insists that some chance is better than no chance at all, and pushes for the procedure.
In the meantime, he has no choice but to have Elise and her kids move in to take care of him. Elise soon discovers that Pierre has been passing the time waiting for news of a heart donor by observing his hot sexy female neighbor across the street and daydreaming about her. She is Laetitia (Melanie Laurent), and is a co-ed with romantic issues of her own. You see, she is being wooed (via text messages) by her college professor, Roland (Fabrice Lachini), who is at least 30 years older than her, and let's just say the dude is not exactly a silver fox like Kevin Costner or Dennis Quaid. More like a really old version of Napoleon Bonaparte, or any of the pervs on TO CATCH A PREDATOR.
Elise is having romantic tribulations of her own. Burned by a bad marriage, she has pretty much closed the door on love - until Pierre tells her to open it and see what happens. Sure enough, she meets a sweet produce manager named Jean (Albert Dupontel). Unfortunately, Jean is also friends with a colossal douchebag named Franky (Gilles Lelouche), who basically treats pussy the way Captain Ahab treated Moby Dick: "Thar She Blows!" Then there's Roland's brother Philippe who is having marital woes of his own. Then there's the snooty, demanding flower shop owner (Karin Viard) and her loyal employee Khadija (Sabrina Quazani), who has a secret crush on Pierre. See how everything comes full circle?
So... how will all these loosely-connected love stories end? Will Pierre get the heart transplant he so desperately needs? Or will he spend his last days wishing his neighbors well in their little dramas? Will Elise and Jean end up marrying? Or will that douchebag poonhound Franky drive a wedge between them? Will Roland wake up and realize that Laetitia is young enough to be his daughter? Will Laetitia wake up and realize that there are better guys her own age? Will Khadija muster up the courage to tell Pierre she fancies him? Will Pierre get his happy ending? One that doesn't involve scented candles, baby oil, a masseuse who looks Chris Evans, and BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN playing in the background?
Not that I would know anything about that last one...
BUT, SERIOUSLY: In 2004, LOVE ACTUALLY was released and single-handedly created s new sub-genre within the Romantic Comedy Genre: The Ensemble Romantic Comedy. Sure, ensemble films are nothing new. Robert Altman's films like SHORT CUTS, THE PLAYER, PRET-A-PORTER, and GOSFORD PARK are invariably ensemble films, and many other directors have used this narrative technique to weave multiple stories and characters into a complex whole. The difference between LOVE ACTUALLY and those films, though, is that all its threads are love stories - each a mini-romantic comedy of its own.
LOVE ACTUALLY was a hit in both England and the U.S., and was a vibrant mix of tart, droll humor, and a romantic stance that was both understated and direct. In short, the formula was just right. The movie had enough sarcastic humor in it too keep from being corny, and just enough genuine emotion in it to keep from being false and posturing. It's a formula that several films have since tried to emulate: PARIS J' ETAIME, NEW YEAR'S EVE, NEW YORK I LOVE YOU, and VALENTINE'S DAY. Our current review, PARIS (not to be confused with PARIS J'ETAIME, which has the same set-up but is executed differently) is probably the most interesting of the LOVE ACTUALLY clones.
What sets PARIS apart from all the other films seeking to duplicate LOVE ACTUALLY's multi-threaded romantic tapestry (and from LOVE ACTUALLY itself) is its melancholy and somewhat dark tone. While it is most definitely light-hearted overall, there are pockets of sadness and gloom scattered throughout the narrative. This is most apparent in Pierre's centerpiece thread about his heart condition. It's very fitting that a film about love and its complexities would be anchored by a character whose heart is biologically failing him - but is spiritually making him stronger. Romaine Duris imbues the role with layers of feeling, hope, and class. As with Princess Andromeda from our last review, CLASH OF THE TITANS, Pierre refuses to be a victim in the face of the dire situation he finds himself in. Rather, he finds a way to be a positive force of hope for those around him.
Chief among the folks Pierre influences is his fiercely loyal sister Elise, played by Juliette Binoche in another wonderful performance. Binoche was one of many terrific things in THE ENGLISH PATIENT, BLUE, and CHOCOLAT (among many sterling films), and she also proves to be one of PARIS' major assets. In her hands, Elise is a no-nonsense woman whose pragmatic view on life conceals an underlying fragility. Under Pierre's counsel, she learns to open up and risk taking a chance with Jean, the local produce manager who is Elise's match in age, temperament, outlook, and personality. As Jean, Alfred Dupontel epitomizes middle-aged sexiness and intelligence. Dupontel and Binoche also make a compatible couple, chemistry-wise.
Melanie Laurent, Fabrice Lachini, Francois Cluzet, Karin Viard, Gilles Lelouche, and Sabrina Quazani are all strong in their various respective story threads. Quazani is especially enchanting as the flower shop girl whose interest in Pierre is put on hold because of his heart condition. Their short scene towards the end is a textbook example of how a tiny scene can burst with subtext and hidden emotion, if handled properly. Needless to say, both Duris and Quazani acquit themselves well here. The ambiguous ending is also particularly moving, and is a perfect blend of heartbreak and hope.
Ultimately, PARIS is an atypical entry into "The Ensemble Romantic Comedy" sub-genre that LOVE ACTUALLY started. It distinguishes itself from its peers by displaying an inherently French melancholy and fatalism that actually enhances the various romances, and is beautifully accented by lovely performances from Romaine Duris and Juliette Binoche. A solidly good film....
In closing, please chill to the lovely tunes of "Breakthrough" by Public Symphony, which is the song that plays over PARIS' American trailer.
(Ahhhhhh.... Parisiens in love...)
CAST: Juliette Binoche, Romaine Duris, Fabrice Lachini, Melanie Laurent, Albert Dupontel, Francois Cluzet, Karin Viard, Gilles Lelouche, Julie Ferrier, Sabrian Quazani.
DIRECTOR: Cedric Klapisch
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and a bunch of frisky Parisiens doing the LOVE ACTUALLY thang - straight ahead....
IT'S LIKE THIS: Pierre (Romaine Duris), the ostensible hero of our next review, is having a bad week. Sure, he's a hot French guy with an awesome Paris apartment and an even more awesome big sistah named Elise (Juliette Binoche), but what good is all of that if you've only got a few months to live? You see, Pierre finds out from his good ol' doctor that he has a rare heart condition and must undergo a heart transplant - which may not even guarantee Pierre any additional time. Still, Pierre insists that some chance is better than no chance at all, and pushes for the procedure.
In the meantime, he has no choice but to have Elise and her kids move in to take care of him. Elise soon discovers that Pierre has been passing the time waiting for news of a heart donor by observing his hot sexy female neighbor across the street and daydreaming about her. She is Laetitia (Melanie Laurent), and is a co-ed with romantic issues of her own. You see, she is being wooed (via text messages) by her college professor, Roland (Fabrice Lachini), who is at least 30 years older than her, and let's just say the dude is not exactly a silver fox like Kevin Costner or Dennis Quaid. More like a really old version of Napoleon Bonaparte, or any of the pervs on TO CATCH A PREDATOR.
Elise is having romantic tribulations of her own. Burned by a bad marriage, she has pretty much closed the door on love - until Pierre tells her to open it and see what happens. Sure enough, she meets a sweet produce manager named Jean (Albert Dupontel). Unfortunately, Jean is also friends with a colossal douchebag named Franky (Gilles Lelouche), who basically treats pussy the way Captain Ahab treated Moby Dick: "Thar She Blows!" Then there's Roland's brother Philippe who is having marital woes of his own. Then there's the snooty, demanding flower shop owner (Karin Viard) and her loyal employee Khadija (Sabrina Quazani), who has a secret crush on Pierre. See how everything comes full circle?
So... how will all these loosely-connected love stories end? Will Pierre get the heart transplant he so desperately needs? Or will he spend his last days wishing his neighbors well in their little dramas? Will Elise and Jean end up marrying? Or will that douchebag poonhound Franky drive a wedge between them? Will Roland wake up and realize that Laetitia is young enough to be his daughter? Will Laetitia wake up and realize that there are better guys her own age? Will Khadija muster up the courage to tell Pierre she fancies him? Will Pierre get his happy ending? One that doesn't involve scented candles, baby oil, a masseuse who looks Chris Evans, and BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN playing in the background?
Not that I would know anything about that last one...
BUT, SERIOUSLY: In 2004, LOVE ACTUALLY was released and single-handedly created s new sub-genre within the Romantic Comedy Genre: The Ensemble Romantic Comedy. Sure, ensemble films are nothing new. Robert Altman's films like SHORT CUTS, THE PLAYER, PRET-A-PORTER, and GOSFORD PARK are invariably ensemble films, and many other directors have used this narrative technique to weave multiple stories and characters into a complex whole. The difference between LOVE ACTUALLY and those films, though, is that all its threads are love stories - each a mini-romantic comedy of its own.
LOVE ACTUALLY was a hit in both England and the U.S., and was a vibrant mix of tart, droll humor, and a romantic stance that was both understated and direct. In short, the formula was just right. The movie had enough sarcastic humor in it too keep from being corny, and just enough genuine emotion in it to keep from being false and posturing. It's a formula that several films have since tried to emulate: PARIS J' ETAIME, NEW YEAR'S EVE, NEW YORK I LOVE YOU, and VALENTINE'S DAY. Our current review, PARIS (not to be confused with PARIS J'ETAIME, which has the same set-up but is executed differently) is probably the most interesting of the LOVE ACTUALLY clones.
What sets PARIS apart from all the other films seeking to duplicate LOVE ACTUALLY's multi-threaded romantic tapestry (and from LOVE ACTUALLY itself) is its melancholy and somewhat dark tone. While it is most definitely light-hearted overall, there are pockets of sadness and gloom scattered throughout the narrative. This is most apparent in Pierre's centerpiece thread about his heart condition. It's very fitting that a film about love and its complexities would be anchored by a character whose heart is biologically failing him - but is spiritually making him stronger. Romaine Duris imbues the role with layers of feeling, hope, and class. As with Princess Andromeda from our last review, CLASH OF THE TITANS, Pierre refuses to be a victim in the face of the dire situation he finds himself in. Rather, he finds a way to be a positive force of hope for those around him.
Chief among the folks Pierre influences is his fiercely loyal sister Elise, played by Juliette Binoche in another wonderful performance. Binoche was one of many terrific things in THE ENGLISH PATIENT, BLUE, and CHOCOLAT (among many sterling films), and she also proves to be one of PARIS' major assets. In her hands, Elise is a no-nonsense woman whose pragmatic view on life conceals an underlying fragility. Under Pierre's counsel, she learns to open up and risk taking a chance with Jean, the local produce manager who is Elise's match in age, temperament, outlook, and personality. As Jean, Alfred Dupontel epitomizes middle-aged sexiness and intelligence. Dupontel and Binoche also make a compatible couple, chemistry-wise.
Melanie Laurent, Fabrice Lachini, Francois Cluzet, Karin Viard, Gilles Lelouche, and Sabrina Quazani are all strong in their various respective story threads. Quazani is especially enchanting as the flower shop girl whose interest in Pierre is put on hold because of his heart condition. Their short scene towards the end is a textbook example of how a tiny scene can burst with subtext and hidden emotion, if handled properly. Needless to say, both Duris and Quazani acquit themselves well here. The ambiguous ending is also particularly moving, and is a perfect blend of heartbreak and hope.
Ultimately, PARIS is an atypical entry into "The Ensemble Romantic Comedy" sub-genre that LOVE ACTUALLY started. It distinguishes itself from its peers by displaying an inherently French melancholy and fatalism that actually enhances the various romances, and is beautifully accented by lovely performances from Romaine Duris and Juliette Binoche. A solidly good film....
In closing, please chill to the lovely tunes of "Breakthrough" by Public Symphony, which is the song that plays over PARIS' American trailer.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
# 448 - CLASH OF THE TITANS (2010)
CLASH OF THE TITANS (2010 - ACTION) **** out of *****
(Open season on... stupid humans)
CAST: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Gemma Arterton, Mads Mikkelsen, Alexa Davalos, Pete Postlethwaite, Alexander Siddig, Elizabeth McGovern, Isabella Mikko.
DIRECTOR: Louis Letterier
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one really epic battle between stupid gods and stupid humans - with one smokin' hot half-human/half-god - straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: Our last review was this year's WRATH OF THE TITANS, sequel to the 2010 remake to the 1981 kitsch-classic CLASH OF THE TITANS. In our review for WRATH, I mentioned the original CLASH OF THE TITANS was one of my favorite films. And I am usually not keen on seeing my favorite films get remade because, well, they usually ended up stinking worse than a Neapolitan garbage bin after a three-month trash workers strike (THE STEPFORD WIVES, anyone?). And yet when I heard in 2008 that a remake to CLASH OF THE TITANS '81 finally got the greenlight, I couldn't help but be thrilled.
With hunk-du-jour Sam Worthington (as half-human/half-god hero Perseus), reliable vet Liam Neeson (as Big Daddy Zeus), acting god Ralph Fiennes (as Scary Daddy Hades), and winsome hottie Alexa Davalos (as imperiled Princess Andromeda) in the key roles, the production looked promising. Plus, with the advent of CGI, the creature effects and fantasy elements would be a sight to behold. Because, folks, let's face it: as good as the original CLASH was, the effects were just a little bit more convincing than something I and my posse of creative dipshits could come up with using a bunch of empty big-screen TV boxes from Best Buy and a fuckload of poster paint.
So... as with the 1981 flick, our story kicks off during a precarious time in Ancient Greece. Seems them pesky mortals have gotten tired of the gods' capricious natures - and have decided to rebel by: (1) not praying to them anymore, (2) tearing down their statues, (3) desecrating their temples, and (4) generally behaving like the inveterate party animals in PROJECT X who seemed bafflingly confident that all their reckless marauding would not catch up to them.
And, sure enough, just like in PROJECT X, everything catches up to our thoroughly misguided humans. Don't these fuckers know that the gods are: (1) immortal, (2) all-knowing, (3) powerful, and (4) capable of leveling their asses using forces of nature like, um, earthquakes, tsunamis, lightning bolts, and heatwaves? And it's not like Zeus and his band of toga-clad divinities are as forgiving and gracious as Jesus "The Man" Christ. Nope, these jackasses are about as mature and tolerant as you average "Housewives Reality Show". In other words, you humans picked the wrong deities to piss off.
Just like that, Greece is pummeled by some disturbing changes in weather, marine life, and agriculture. Everyone else seems content to shrug all this off, as if to say, "What are you gonna do?" Before proceeding to slam back some more wine, which normally I am all for, but not as a way to not deal with the fact that The End Of The World is just around the corner. Sorry, but I plan to go down fighting - or at least trying to prevent it. Indeed, the only person who thinks all this "god-dissing" is dangerous is smokin' hot royal Princess Andromeda (Alexa Davalos). "Haven't you seen what's happening out there?" she demands of her drunk mom and pop (who, by the way, just happen to be King and Queen of Greece).
Queen Mommy (Polly Walker) not only dismisses Andromeda's concerns, but goes on to proclaim that humans are now the new gods, and that Andromeda is way hotter than Aphrodite, the Goddess of Hotness. This proves to be the straw that breaks the camel's back, because the gods may put up with humans ceasing prayer and desecrating sacred temples. But they will not tolerate a human saying another human is hotter than they are. Which I totally understand, because at Thursday Happy Hour this week, a friend dared to say that he was hotter than Russell Crowe. Before you know it, I had that bastard locked in a double titty-twister, while yelling at him: "SACRILEGE! SACRILEGE! TAKE IT BACK!!!" Let's just say the "argument" continued at home. Nothing is better than a disagreement that is fought between the sheets. Talk about a workout. Ahem.
But I digress. Before you know it, who should show up to zap Mommy into a fine powder? Well, no one special. Just Hades, God of Death himself. Oh, and just to prove that he's not a complete asshole, he also tells the horrified party animals that the Kraken, a mythical beast that looks a Giant Penis, will destroy Greece in exactly one week - unless Princess Andromeda is sacrificed to it. Then he disappears into a black cloud, leaving the congregated dumbasses to look at Andromeda with sympathetic expressions of "Girl, You Are So Fucked!"
Enter our hero Perseus, whom I have already mentioned before is half-human/half-god. Seems head god Zeus would often transform himself into a human man to fuck human women, resulting in a bunch of truly gifted bastard children, of which Perseus is a sterling example. In the wake of the threat to Greece and Princess Andromeda, studly warrior leader Draco (Mads Mikkelsen) recruits Perseus to join his band of studly warriors to travel to some far-flung, fucked-up place to seek the counsel of The Three Witches on how to solve their dilemma. Along for the ride is fellow demi-god Io (Gemma Arterton). Seems Io once rebuffed the lecherous advances of a god, and was hence cursed with agelessness. Now, folks, I have rebuffed many a lecherous advance in my time (and continue to do so), but have not been cursed with agelessness. Instead, I usually just got cursed at, as in "Who the fuck does he think he is? People hotter than him have gone home with me! Stuck-up, snobby iceberg." Deal with it, guys. My heart is already spoken for. Which, unfortunately, is connected to my dick. You have zero chance with me. Move on.
But I digress again. So... will Perseus, Draco, Io, and the rest of the Seven Warriors succeed in reaching the Three Witches? What will the old crones tell them? How will they defeat the Kraken? What happens when they learn they must confront the dreaded Medusa, the half-snake/half-human biyatch whose icy gaze is capable of changing men to stone? Will they defeat her? Or will she get them all hard (ha ha)? Will Princess Andromeda be sacrificed to the Kraken? Or will Perseus save the day? Does Io have something up her sleeve that will help? Why do all these people look like pasty crackers and not olive-skinned Greeks?
Whatever. Sam Worthington, Alexa Davalos, and Gemma Arterton are hot enough to suspend my disbelief....
BUT, SERIOUSLY: In our review for WRATH OF THE TITANS, I mentioned that the original CLASH OF THE TITANS from 1981 has a special place in my heart. The film has a simple charm that appeals to the child in me as, I suspect, it does to anyone who loves the film. If the film has a weak spot, it's in the special effects department. The stop-motion animation effects were considered strong during the film's initial release in 1981. Unfortunately, they have not aged well and, as such, date the film considerably. In this department, the 2010 remake easily trumps the original. While the 1981 version of CLASH OF THE TITANS is overall superior to the recent version, the CLASH OF THE TITANS 2010 has its own rewards to offer, not least of which is strong cast of veteran performers and charismatic newcomers, strengthened female roles, and a simply terrific musical score.
Stepping into the role that Harry Hamlin made famous in 1981, Sam Worthington delivers a more bracingly masculine version of Perseus. Sporting a sharp buzz cut (compared to Hamlin's long curly locks), Worthington looks every inch an action hero. Indeed CLASH 2010 is more of an action film than CLASH 1981 was, which focused more on the fantasy elements of the story. As such, Perseus' new manly look is perfect for this more kinetic story. As he did with AVATAR, Worthington proves a worthy leading man and holds the screen with ease, turning Perseus into a compelling hero with a blend of instinct, intelligence, and emotion.
Liam Neeson is similarly fine in the role that Laurence Olivier originally essayed. Ralph Fiennes plays a role that wasn't in the 1981 film, that of Hades, god of the Underworld. Fiennes bring his trademark intensity to the role and makes it a memorable one. Mads Mikkelsen, who was excellent as LeChiffre in CASINO ROYALE, is equally stellar here. His role of Draco is meant to be a formidable mentor to Perseus who ultimately sacrifices himself for him in the end, and Mikkelsen nails every line and scene.
Another area, aside from the special effects, where CLASH 2010 trumps CLASH 1981 is in its portrayal of its heroines. In the original, Judi Bowker played Andromeda as a sweet thing who was ultimately too passive. In the remake, Alexa Davalos turns the character into a quietly intense, driven woman of will and intelligence. While she isn't as "kick-ass" as the version played by Rosamund Pike in the sequel, Andromeda is clearly rebelling against the constraints of her role as Royal Princess. She acts as the "voice of reason" that goes unheard. Davalos also gives Andromeda a cool, gracious dignity that keeps your eyes fixed on her. This is never more apparent than in the scene where Andromeda bravely faces the danger of the angry mob intent on sacrificing her to the Kraken. She descends the steps of the royal palace to meet them - and her fate - with quiet courage. Even in dire circumstances, she refuses to be a victim. As good as Pike was in WRATH OF THE TITANS, part of me wonders how Davalos would've handled the role, seeing as the seeds of leadership were already being planted in Andromeda in this film.
As good as Davalos is, though, the emotional center of the film is held by Gemma Arterton as Io, the human woman cursed to remain young forever for refusing to consort with a god. Io acts as a guardian angel to Perseus, ever-watchful and always-helping. Since they both share the special nature of a "demi-god" (a sort of divine half-breed) they are bit like soulmates. The best scenes between Io and Perseus are of her training him to battle Medusa, as well as her act of sacrifice following that battle. Worthington and Arterton have a subtle chemistry that always seems to be bubbling below the surface - which fully reveals itself at the very end when... well, you'll just have to see. Great ending. Needless to say, Gemma Arterton's decision not to return as Io in WRATH OF THE TITANS reportedly led to that script being rewritten with Andromeda as the main heroine. With the emotional center of Io-Perseus gone, the sequel was doomed to be inferior.
Speaking of effects, this is where CLASH 2010 truly overtakes CLASH 1981. While the action setpieces of the latter are still charming to watch, they are just not as impressive as the remake's sequences. Scenes such as the meeting with the Stygian witches, the taming of Pegasus, the battle in Medusa's lair, and the final confrontation with the Kraken, all explode into life. Particularly impressive is the battle with Medusa, who comes across as almost dimensional and sympathetic because of the improved effects and the tragic backstory that Io relates. Also breathtaking is the moment when Perseus reveals Medusa's head to the Kraken to save Andromeda. Great stuff.
Another strong asset of the CLASH 2010 is the soaring, dynamic score by Ramin Djawadi. Exciting, energetic, emotional, complex, and surprising, the music seems like almost another character in the movie. It's been said that a good film soundtrack should help tell the story. By that standard, Djawadi's score for this film succeeds brilliantly. I remember seeing this movie back in 2010 after it came out, and found myself humming the main themes endlessly, especially Perseus' theme.
In the end, CLASH OF TITANS 2010 may not have the simple charm of its predecessor from 1981, but it definitely has it own rewards to recommend it. Specifically, a strong cast, improved female leads, terrific special effects, and an amazing musical score that will transport you back to Ancient Greece and its mythological universe.
In closing, I present some music from Ramin Djawadi's score. Best track is "Perseus", and the best stretch is from 2:10 to 3:07. "There Is A God In You" is a close second, followed by "The Best Of Both" and "It's Almost Human Of You". Unforgettable music...
(Open season on... stupid humans)
CAST: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Gemma Arterton, Mads Mikkelsen, Alexa Davalos, Pete Postlethwaite, Alexander Siddig, Elizabeth McGovern, Isabella Mikko.
DIRECTOR: Louis Letterier
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one really epic battle between stupid gods and stupid humans - with one smokin' hot half-human/half-god - straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: Our last review was this year's WRATH OF THE TITANS, sequel to the 2010 remake to the 1981 kitsch-classic CLASH OF THE TITANS. In our review for WRATH, I mentioned the original CLASH OF THE TITANS was one of my favorite films. And I am usually not keen on seeing my favorite films get remade because, well, they usually ended up stinking worse than a Neapolitan garbage bin after a three-month trash workers strike (THE STEPFORD WIVES, anyone?). And yet when I heard in 2008 that a remake to CLASH OF THE TITANS '81 finally got the greenlight, I couldn't help but be thrilled.
With hunk-du-jour Sam Worthington (as half-human/half-god hero Perseus), reliable vet Liam Neeson (as Big Daddy Zeus), acting god Ralph Fiennes (as Scary Daddy Hades), and winsome hottie Alexa Davalos (as imperiled Princess Andromeda) in the key roles, the production looked promising. Plus, with the advent of CGI, the creature effects and fantasy elements would be a sight to behold. Because, folks, let's face it: as good as the original CLASH was, the effects were just a little bit more convincing than something I and my posse of creative dipshits could come up with using a bunch of empty big-screen TV boxes from Best Buy and a fuckload of poster paint.
So... as with the 1981 flick, our story kicks off during a precarious time in Ancient Greece. Seems them pesky mortals have gotten tired of the gods' capricious natures - and have decided to rebel by: (1) not praying to them anymore, (2) tearing down their statues, (3) desecrating their temples, and (4) generally behaving like the inveterate party animals in PROJECT X who seemed bafflingly confident that all their reckless marauding would not catch up to them.
And, sure enough, just like in PROJECT X, everything catches up to our thoroughly misguided humans. Don't these fuckers know that the gods are: (1) immortal, (2) all-knowing, (3) powerful, and (4) capable of leveling their asses using forces of nature like, um, earthquakes, tsunamis, lightning bolts, and heatwaves? And it's not like Zeus and his band of toga-clad divinities are as forgiving and gracious as Jesus "The Man" Christ. Nope, these jackasses are about as mature and tolerant as you average "Housewives Reality Show". In other words, you humans picked the wrong deities to piss off.
Just like that, Greece is pummeled by some disturbing changes in weather, marine life, and agriculture. Everyone else seems content to shrug all this off, as if to say, "What are you gonna do?" Before proceeding to slam back some more wine, which normally I am all for, but not as a way to not deal with the fact that The End Of The World is just around the corner. Sorry, but I plan to go down fighting - or at least trying to prevent it. Indeed, the only person who thinks all this "god-dissing" is dangerous is smokin' hot royal Princess Andromeda (Alexa Davalos). "Haven't you seen what's happening out there?" she demands of her drunk mom and pop (who, by the way, just happen to be King and Queen of Greece).
Queen Mommy (Polly Walker) not only dismisses Andromeda's concerns, but goes on to proclaim that humans are now the new gods, and that Andromeda is way hotter than Aphrodite, the Goddess of Hotness. This proves to be the straw that breaks the camel's back, because the gods may put up with humans ceasing prayer and desecrating sacred temples. But they will not tolerate a human saying another human is hotter than they are. Which I totally understand, because at Thursday Happy Hour this week, a friend dared to say that he was hotter than Russell Crowe. Before you know it, I had that bastard locked in a double titty-twister, while yelling at him: "SACRILEGE! SACRILEGE! TAKE IT BACK!!!" Let's just say the "argument" continued at home. Nothing is better than a disagreement that is fought between the sheets. Talk about a workout. Ahem.
But I digress. Before you know it, who should show up to zap Mommy into a fine powder? Well, no one special. Just Hades, God of Death himself. Oh, and just to prove that he's not a complete asshole, he also tells the horrified party animals that the Kraken, a mythical beast that looks a Giant Penis, will destroy Greece in exactly one week - unless Princess Andromeda is sacrificed to it. Then he disappears into a black cloud, leaving the congregated dumbasses to look at Andromeda with sympathetic expressions of "Girl, You Are So Fucked!"
Enter our hero Perseus, whom I have already mentioned before is half-human/half-god. Seems head god Zeus would often transform himself into a human man to fuck human women, resulting in a bunch of truly gifted bastard children, of which Perseus is a sterling example. In the wake of the threat to Greece and Princess Andromeda, studly warrior leader Draco (Mads Mikkelsen) recruits Perseus to join his band of studly warriors to travel to some far-flung, fucked-up place to seek the counsel of The Three Witches on how to solve their dilemma. Along for the ride is fellow demi-god Io (Gemma Arterton). Seems Io once rebuffed the lecherous advances of a god, and was hence cursed with agelessness. Now, folks, I have rebuffed many a lecherous advance in my time (and continue to do so), but have not been cursed with agelessness. Instead, I usually just got cursed at, as in "Who the fuck does he think he is? People hotter than him have gone home with me! Stuck-up, snobby iceberg." Deal with it, guys. My heart is already spoken for. Which, unfortunately, is connected to my dick. You have zero chance with me. Move on.
But I digress again. So... will Perseus, Draco, Io, and the rest of the Seven Warriors succeed in reaching the Three Witches? What will the old crones tell them? How will they defeat the Kraken? What happens when they learn they must confront the dreaded Medusa, the half-snake/half-human biyatch whose icy gaze is capable of changing men to stone? Will they defeat her? Or will she get them all hard (ha ha)? Will Princess Andromeda be sacrificed to the Kraken? Or will Perseus save the day? Does Io have something up her sleeve that will help? Why do all these people look like pasty crackers and not olive-skinned Greeks?
Whatever. Sam Worthington, Alexa Davalos, and Gemma Arterton are hot enough to suspend my disbelief....
BUT, SERIOUSLY: In our review for WRATH OF THE TITANS, I mentioned that the original CLASH OF THE TITANS from 1981 has a special place in my heart. The film has a simple charm that appeals to the child in me as, I suspect, it does to anyone who loves the film. If the film has a weak spot, it's in the special effects department. The stop-motion animation effects were considered strong during the film's initial release in 1981. Unfortunately, they have not aged well and, as such, date the film considerably. In this department, the 2010 remake easily trumps the original. While the 1981 version of CLASH OF THE TITANS is overall superior to the recent version, the CLASH OF THE TITANS 2010 has its own rewards to offer, not least of which is strong cast of veteran performers and charismatic newcomers, strengthened female roles, and a simply terrific musical score.
Stepping into the role that Harry Hamlin made famous in 1981, Sam Worthington delivers a more bracingly masculine version of Perseus. Sporting a sharp buzz cut (compared to Hamlin's long curly locks), Worthington looks every inch an action hero. Indeed CLASH 2010 is more of an action film than CLASH 1981 was, which focused more on the fantasy elements of the story. As such, Perseus' new manly look is perfect for this more kinetic story. As he did with AVATAR, Worthington proves a worthy leading man and holds the screen with ease, turning Perseus into a compelling hero with a blend of instinct, intelligence, and emotion.
Liam Neeson is similarly fine in the role that Laurence Olivier originally essayed. Ralph Fiennes plays a role that wasn't in the 1981 film, that of Hades, god of the Underworld. Fiennes bring his trademark intensity to the role and makes it a memorable one. Mads Mikkelsen, who was excellent as LeChiffre in CASINO ROYALE, is equally stellar here. His role of Draco is meant to be a formidable mentor to Perseus who ultimately sacrifices himself for him in the end, and Mikkelsen nails every line and scene.
Another area, aside from the special effects, where CLASH 2010 trumps CLASH 1981 is in its portrayal of its heroines. In the original, Judi Bowker played Andromeda as a sweet thing who was ultimately too passive. In the remake, Alexa Davalos turns the character into a quietly intense, driven woman of will and intelligence. While she isn't as "kick-ass" as the version played by Rosamund Pike in the sequel, Andromeda is clearly rebelling against the constraints of her role as Royal Princess. She acts as the "voice of reason" that goes unheard. Davalos also gives Andromeda a cool, gracious dignity that keeps your eyes fixed on her. This is never more apparent than in the scene where Andromeda bravely faces the danger of the angry mob intent on sacrificing her to the Kraken. She descends the steps of the royal palace to meet them - and her fate - with quiet courage. Even in dire circumstances, she refuses to be a victim. As good as Pike was in WRATH OF THE TITANS, part of me wonders how Davalos would've handled the role, seeing as the seeds of leadership were already being planted in Andromeda in this film.
As good as Davalos is, though, the emotional center of the film is held by Gemma Arterton as Io, the human woman cursed to remain young forever for refusing to consort with a god. Io acts as a guardian angel to Perseus, ever-watchful and always-helping. Since they both share the special nature of a "demi-god" (a sort of divine half-breed) they are bit like soulmates. The best scenes between Io and Perseus are of her training him to battle Medusa, as well as her act of sacrifice following that battle. Worthington and Arterton have a subtle chemistry that always seems to be bubbling below the surface - which fully reveals itself at the very end when... well, you'll just have to see. Great ending. Needless to say, Gemma Arterton's decision not to return as Io in WRATH OF THE TITANS reportedly led to that script being rewritten with Andromeda as the main heroine. With the emotional center of Io-Perseus gone, the sequel was doomed to be inferior.
Speaking of effects, this is where CLASH 2010 truly overtakes CLASH 1981. While the action setpieces of the latter are still charming to watch, they are just not as impressive as the remake's sequences. Scenes such as the meeting with the Stygian witches, the taming of Pegasus, the battle in Medusa's lair, and the final confrontation with the Kraken, all explode into life. Particularly impressive is the battle with Medusa, who comes across as almost dimensional and sympathetic because of the improved effects and the tragic backstory that Io relates. Also breathtaking is the moment when Perseus reveals Medusa's head to the Kraken to save Andromeda. Great stuff.
Another strong asset of the CLASH 2010 is the soaring, dynamic score by Ramin Djawadi. Exciting, energetic, emotional, complex, and surprising, the music seems like almost another character in the movie. It's been said that a good film soundtrack should help tell the story. By that standard, Djawadi's score for this film succeeds brilliantly. I remember seeing this movie back in 2010 after it came out, and found myself humming the main themes endlessly, especially Perseus' theme.
In the end, CLASH OF TITANS 2010 may not have the simple charm of its predecessor from 1981, but it definitely has it own rewards to recommend it. Specifically, a strong cast, improved female leads, terrific special effects, and an amazing musical score that will transport you back to Ancient Greece and its mythological universe.
In closing, I present some music from Ramin Djawadi's score. Best track is "Perseus", and the best stretch is from 2:10 to 3:07. "There Is A God In You" is a close second, followed by "The Best Of Both" and "It's Almost Human Of You". Unforgettable music...
Sunday, April 22, 2012
APRIL REVIEWS: Revised Schedule...
Hello, folks...
I had planned to get the reviews posted, but its been a perfect weekend to spend outdoors. In Italian, to "yearn for the sun" means "bramasole" - and it's been a Bramasole Weekend if there was ever one. At any rate, in order to prepare for the Summer Movie Season, we've decided to shorten our reviews for April. As the summer goes on, I will try to insert them into the schedule here and there. For now, though, there's precious little time until THE AVENGERS kicks off the Summer Movie Season next week, and we have to be prepared.
As such, please find a shortened movie reviews list for April, with the new releases at the end this time to segue nicely into our Summer Schedule:
# 448 - CLASH OF THE TITANS (AKA Sam Worthington In A Buzz Cut And Toga. Sign. Me. Up)
# 449 - PARIS (AKA Love Actually, French-Style)
# 450 - THE BROTHERS BLOOM (AKA Who Is The Cat And Who Is The Mouse?)
# 451 - SATURNO CONTRO (AKA: Love Actually, Italian-Style)
# 452 - SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN (AKA Longshot - The Movie)
# 453 - THE RAVEN (AKA: The Silence Of The Poe)
And a snippet suite of Ramin Djawadi's awesome musical score for CLASH OF THE TITANS. Energetic, exciting, emotional music. I can just hear this music playing over a climactic World Cup match...
Have a wonderful week, folks. Wherever you maybe in the world, soak up the sun. Bramasole...
I had planned to get the reviews posted, but its been a perfect weekend to spend outdoors. In Italian, to "yearn for the sun" means "bramasole" - and it's been a Bramasole Weekend if there was ever one. At any rate, in order to prepare for the Summer Movie Season, we've decided to shorten our reviews for April. As the summer goes on, I will try to insert them into the schedule here and there. For now, though, there's precious little time until THE AVENGERS kicks off the Summer Movie Season next week, and we have to be prepared.
As such, please find a shortened movie reviews list for April, with the new releases at the end this time to segue nicely into our Summer Schedule:
# 448 - CLASH OF THE TITANS (AKA Sam Worthington In A Buzz Cut And Toga. Sign. Me. Up)
# 449 - PARIS (AKA Love Actually, French-Style)
# 450 - THE BROTHERS BLOOM (AKA Who Is The Cat And Who Is The Mouse?)
# 451 - SATURNO CONTRO (AKA: Love Actually, Italian-Style)
# 452 - SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN (AKA Longshot - The Movie)
# 453 - THE RAVEN (AKA: The Silence Of The Poe)
And a snippet suite of Ramin Djawadi's awesome musical score for CLASH OF THE TITANS. Energetic, exciting, emotional music. I can just hear this music playing over a climactic World Cup match...
Have a wonderful week, folks. Wherever you maybe in the world, soak up the sun. Bramasole...
Friday, April 20, 2012
RANDOM AWESOME YOUTUBE VIDEO: The One...
Evening, folks... it's been a magical Friday night - about to turn into a magical Saturday early morning. So before the rollercoaster starts up again, please revel in the beautiful music from - of all things - the Honda Accord commercial entitled "The One". I remember seeing the commercial and being hooked by the music. Well, here it is in all its full glory. The official title of the piece is "Be Patient" by Smidi.
Here's to "The One" in all our lives. Long may we all reign....
Buona Notte, Mio Amore...
Please expect the reviews for MIRROR MIRROR, AMERICAN REUNION, and THE CABIN IN THE WOODS to post by the end of the weekend.
Ciao ciao...
Here's to "The One" in all our lives. Long may we all reign....
Buona Notte, Mio Amore...
Please expect the reviews for MIRROR MIRROR, AMERICAN REUNION, and THE CABIN IN THE WOODS to post by the end of the weekend.
Ciao ciao...
Sunday, April 15, 2012
APRIL REVIEWS...
Hello, folks...
It's been a fun weekend with the sun shining, the Sounders winning, and wine and friends aplenty. With that in mind, let's celebrate the arrival of Spring with a list of our April reviews below.
Please expect these reviews to post between tomorrow and the end of April. After that, we begin our Summer Movie reviews with THE AVENGERS.
For now, our April movies:
# 448 - MIRROR MIRROR (AKA: Julia, You Gorgeous Witch, You)
# 449 - AMERICAN REUNION (AKA: Stifler Rides Again)
# 450 - THE CABIN IN THE WOODS (AKA: Scream Some More)
# 451 - PARIS (AKA: Love Actually, French-Style)
# 452 - SATURNO CONTRO (AKA: Love Actually, Rome-Style)
# 453 - THE BROTHERS BLOOM (AKA: Quirky Heist)
# 454 - WEEKEND (AKA: I Love You, Man)
# 455 - THE RAVEN (AKA: Seven - With Edgar Allan Poe)
Have a great week, folks. Please expect the reviews to start pouring in soon...
It's been a fun weekend with the sun shining, the Sounders winning, and wine and friends aplenty. With that in mind, let's celebrate the arrival of Spring with a list of our April reviews below.
Please expect these reviews to post between tomorrow and the end of April. After that, we begin our Summer Movie reviews with THE AVENGERS.
For now, our April movies:
# 448 - MIRROR MIRROR (AKA: Julia, You Gorgeous Witch, You)
# 449 - AMERICAN REUNION (AKA: Stifler Rides Again)
# 450 - THE CABIN IN THE WOODS (AKA: Scream Some More)
# 451 - PARIS (AKA: Love Actually, French-Style)
# 452 - SATURNO CONTRO (AKA: Love Actually, Rome-Style)
# 453 - THE BROTHERS BLOOM (AKA: Quirky Heist)
# 454 - WEEKEND (AKA: I Love You, Man)
# 455 - THE RAVEN (AKA: Seven - With Edgar Allan Poe)
Have a great week, folks. Please expect the reviews to start pouring in soon...
# 447 - WRATH OF THE TITANS (2012)
WRATH OF THE TITANS (2012 - ACTION) **1/2 out of *****
(Open season on... the Greek Gods)
CAST: Sam Worthington, Rosamund Pike, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Edgar Ramirez, Toby Kebbell, Bill Nighy, Lilly James.
DIRECTOR: Jonathan Liebesman
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one really epic battle between gods and, uh, supergods - straight ahead.
IT'S LIKE THIS: Ah, ancient Greece.... what I wouldn't give to have been around at that time. If this movie and its predecessor from a couple of years ago (CLASH OF THE TITANS) are any kind of indicators, then Greece B.C. was one rockin' place. It's a fact that, after the Italians, Norwegians, and French, the Greeks are the next hottest nationality running around. And EVERYONE wore skirts back then - even the guys. Meaning that the chance of catching a glimpse of some Greek kielbasa whenever the fellas sat down was very good, yo! Sorry, I've got a serious case of Spring Fever. Please excuse me.
Anyhow, WRATH OF THE TITANS continues the tale of Perseus (Sam Worthington) that CLASH OF THE TITANS began. If you'll recall, in the last film Perseus embarked on a quest to save Princess Andromeda by hacking off Medusa's head, and in the process discovered that his real father is none other than Zeus, El Primo Deity, himself - who then got to yell the words that I like to scream whenever I get seriously freaky: "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!" Eventually, CLASH ended with peace restored (sort of) between the gods and the mortals.
Unfortunately, if there's anything you can count on is that the gods are worse than mortals when it comes to squabbling and in-fighting. Which is why, in WRATH, we open with Hades (Ralph Fiennes), god of Hell, and Ares (Edgar Ramirez), god of Whoop-Ass, conspiring to free Cronos (A Lot of CGI), Big Daddy of the gods - which will ensure that Zeus will get dethroned post-haste. Just like in CLASH, Perseus gets pulled into the fray by Papa Zeus, and must assist him in putting a kibosh on Hades and Ares' little Power Play.
Perseus hooks up with Andromeda (Rosamund Pike), the hot royal chick he rescued from the Kraken in the previous movie. Only now she's no longer the trembling Girly Girl she was before, and is now (are you ready for this?) commanding the entire Greek Army. Wow... all that in the span of a couple of years? Amazing. Maybe if I apply myself I could be running Vogue magazine by this time next year. Just call me "The Devil Wears Puma". But I digress. Anyhow, before you know it, Zeus gets kidnapped by Ares and Hades and gets held hostage (so serious) in Tartarus, which is sort of like the Greek Mythology version of the I-5 freeway at rush hour. AKA Hell.
By the way, in case your wondering how the Zeus, The Powerful Chief, could get his ass abducted by his underlings, then let me just explain that everyone has apparently stopped praying to the gods - which apparently weakens their power. Making Zeus vulnerable to a coup. Yes, sir. In addition to democracy, philosophy, art, and hot guy-on-guy action, it appears that the Greeks also invented Atheism. My, they were innovative and ahead of their time, weren't they? Just like that, Perseus, Andromeda, and a bunch of other crackheads find themselves beating a path to Tartarus to save Zeus - and mankind. Dun-da-dun-DUN!
So... will Percy, Andy, and co. succeed in vanquishing Hades and Ares? Or will the dastardly duo succeed in killing Zeus and freeing Cronos? What happens when our heroes discover that the entrance to Tartarus is in the middle of a hella-scary labyrinth with a million doors - but only one that will lead them to their destination? Will they get lost? Will the monstrous Minotaur turn their asses in lunchmeat? Will the World end? Will there be a third movie called PECS OF THE TITANS?
If so, sign me up. I will sleep on the sidewalk for that one.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: The original CLASH OF THE TITANS from 1981 is one of my favorite films. The effects are quite dated by now, but it retains a simple charm and appeal that is largely anesthetized by the slick and loud 2010 remake. CLASH OF THE TITANS 2010 was a decent remake of the 1981 film but it is not as good as the original. The 1981 film never saw a sequel, so WRATH OF THE TITANS doesn't have an original to be compared to - just its predecessor from two years ago.
WRATH OF THE TITANS isn't quite as good as CLASH OF THE TITANS. It's still got a solid cast, though. While Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, and Ralph Fiennes reprise their roles with the same gravity and confidence as before, we have interesting newcomers in the forms of Bill Nighy, Edgar Ramirez, Danny Huston, Toby Kebbell, and Rosamund Pike (taking over the role of Andromeda from Alexa Davalos). Everyone holds their own and there are no weak links in the cast. Pike, in particular, puts her own stamp on the role of Andromeda and fills out the role with her presence. In fact, the one thing that WRATH does better than CLASH is "upgrade" the character of Andromeda into a female warrior who is just as fearless as the men around her. It's a welcome change from the fretting princess of the previous film.
If WRATH has any kind of flaw it lies in the fact that adventure is just not as exciting as the previous one. There are a couple of glimmers of promise in the Cyclops scene and the setpiece in the labyrinth, but these aren't fully exploited and are over before you know it. Just like the climactic battle against Cronos. There is a rushed feeling to the proceedings that wasn't present in the previous adventures. The level of excitement is sufficient to keep this an average moviegoing experience, but it is just not as compelling as its predecessor or CLASH 1981.
In the end, WRATH OF THE TITANS stays on the average mark because of its rather perfunctory action sequences. It could've easily sunk lower, though, were it not for its stellar cast. They imbue their roles with enough conviction and gravity to keep us hooked somewhat. Given how often sequels disappoint, we should've known.
(Open season on... the Greek Gods)
CAST: Sam Worthington, Rosamund Pike, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Edgar Ramirez, Toby Kebbell, Bill Nighy, Lilly James.
DIRECTOR: Jonathan Liebesman
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one really epic battle between gods and, uh, supergods - straight ahead.
IT'S LIKE THIS: Ah, ancient Greece.... what I wouldn't give to have been around at that time. If this movie and its predecessor from a couple of years ago (CLASH OF THE TITANS) are any kind of indicators, then Greece B.C. was one rockin' place. It's a fact that, after the Italians, Norwegians, and French, the Greeks are the next hottest nationality running around. And EVERYONE wore skirts back then - even the guys. Meaning that the chance of catching a glimpse of some Greek kielbasa whenever the fellas sat down was very good, yo! Sorry, I've got a serious case of Spring Fever. Please excuse me.
Anyhow, WRATH OF THE TITANS continues the tale of Perseus (Sam Worthington) that CLASH OF THE TITANS began. If you'll recall, in the last film Perseus embarked on a quest to save Princess Andromeda by hacking off Medusa's head, and in the process discovered that his real father is none other than Zeus, El Primo Deity, himself - who then got to yell the words that I like to scream whenever I get seriously freaky: "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!" Eventually, CLASH ended with peace restored (sort of) between the gods and the mortals.
Unfortunately, if there's anything you can count on is that the gods are worse than mortals when it comes to squabbling and in-fighting. Which is why, in WRATH, we open with Hades (Ralph Fiennes), god of Hell, and Ares (Edgar Ramirez), god of Whoop-Ass, conspiring to free Cronos (A Lot of CGI), Big Daddy of the gods - which will ensure that Zeus will get dethroned post-haste. Just like in CLASH, Perseus gets pulled into the fray by Papa Zeus, and must assist him in putting a kibosh on Hades and Ares' little Power Play.
Perseus hooks up with Andromeda (Rosamund Pike), the hot royal chick he rescued from the Kraken in the previous movie. Only now she's no longer the trembling Girly Girl she was before, and is now (are you ready for this?) commanding the entire Greek Army. Wow... all that in the span of a couple of years? Amazing. Maybe if I apply myself I could be running Vogue magazine by this time next year. Just call me "The Devil Wears Puma". But I digress. Anyhow, before you know it, Zeus gets kidnapped by Ares and Hades and gets held hostage (so serious) in Tartarus, which is sort of like the Greek Mythology version of the I-5 freeway at rush hour. AKA Hell.
By the way, in case your wondering how the Zeus, The Powerful Chief, could get his ass abducted by his underlings, then let me just explain that everyone has apparently stopped praying to the gods - which apparently weakens their power. Making Zeus vulnerable to a coup. Yes, sir. In addition to democracy, philosophy, art, and hot guy-on-guy action, it appears that the Greeks also invented Atheism. My, they were innovative and ahead of their time, weren't they? Just like that, Perseus, Andromeda, and a bunch of other crackheads find themselves beating a path to Tartarus to save Zeus - and mankind. Dun-da-dun-DUN!
So... will Percy, Andy, and co. succeed in vanquishing Hades and Ares? Or will the dastardly duo succeed in killing Zeus and freeing Cronos? What happens when our heroes discover that the entrance to Tartarus is in the middle of a hella-scary labyrinth with a million doors - but only one that will lead them to their destination? Will they get lost? Will the monstrous Minotaur turn their asses in lunchmeat? Will the World end? Will there be a third movie called PECS OF THE TITANS?
If so, sign me up. I will sleep on the sidewalk for that one.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: The original CLASH OF THE TITANS from 1981 is one of my favorite films. The effects are quite dated by now, but it retains a simple charm and appeal that is largely anesthetized by the slick and loud 2010 remake. CLASH OF THE TITANS 2010 was a decent remake of the 1981 film but it is not as good as the original. The 1981 film never saw a sequel, so WRATH OF THE TITANS doesn't have an original to be compared to - just its predecessor from two years ago.
WRATH OF THE TITANS isn't quite as good as CLASH OF THE TITANS. It's still got a solid cast, though. While Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, and Ralph Fiennes reprise their roles with the same gravity and confidence as before, we have interesting newcomers in the forms of Bill Nighy, Edgar Ramirez, Danny Huston, Toby Kebbell, and Rosamund Pike (taking over the role of Andromeda from Alexa Davalos). Everyone holds their own and there are no weak links in the cast. Pike, in particular, puts her own stamp on the role of Andromeda and fills out the role with her presence. In fact, the one thing that WRATH does better than CLASH is "upgrade" the character of Andromeda into a female warrior who is just as fearless as the men around her. It's a welcome change from the fretting princess of the previous film.
If WRATH has any kind of flaw it lies in the fact that adventure is just not as exciting as the previous one. There are a couple of glimmers of promise in the Cyclops scene and the setpiece in the labyrinth, but these aren't fully exploited and are over before you know it. Just like the climactic battle against Cronos. There is a rushed feeling to the proceedings that wasn't present in the previous adventures. The level of excitement is sufficient to keep this an average moviegoing experience, but it is just not as compelling as its predecessor or CLASH 1981.
In the end, WRATH OF THE TITANS stays on the average mark because of its rather perfunctory action sequences. It could've easily sunk lower, though, were it not for its stellar cast. They imbue their roles with enough conviction and gravity to keep us hooked somewhat. Given how often sequels disappoint, we should've known.
# 446 - THE HUNGER GAMES (2012)
THE HUNGER GAMES (2012 - ACTION/DRAMA) *** out of *****
(Open season on... teenagers)
CAST: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Donald Sutherland, Wes Bentley, Lenny Kravitz, Willow Shields.
DIRECTOR: Gary Ross
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one really fucked-up reality show straight ahead
IT'S LIKE THIS: The whole time we were watching THE HUNGER GAMES, one thought was going through my mind: "Hmmmmm... why do I feel like I've seen this shit before?" And, no, it's not because the movie is based on the bestselling books by Suzanne Collins because I haven't read them. Nope, there was another reason why the twists and turns of THE HUNGER GAMES were as familiar to me as the chest hair patterns on Chris Evans' chest: it reminded me of the ground-breaking Japanese flick from 2000 called BATTLE ROYALE, itself based on a novel by Koushun Takami.
Basically, THE HUNGER GAMES is BATTLE ROYALE - but with Americans and lot of bad fashion and even worse hairstyles (more on that later). Essentially BATTLE ROYALE is set in a grim future where Japan regularly abducts 50 or so high school students and dumps them on some isolated island to duke it out mercilessly until only one schmuck is left standing.
Like BATTLE ROYALE, THE HUNGER GAMES is set in the distant (Lord, I frickin' hope so) future, where the United States has been broken up into a shitload of districts after a cataclysmic civil war. Based on how the current city-dwellers dress themselves, the war must have been fought not to over slavery, but over the right to wear the most laughably ridiculous clothing this side of a Barnum & Bailey circus or a clown conference.
With the war over, the horrendously-attired dipshits who run the country in The Capital believe they can prevent another uprising from ever occurring again by staging what they lovingly refer to as, ahem, "Hunger Games". Unlike BATTLE ROYALE, there are only 24 contestants culled from each of the districts, and they are not dumped on an island, but in some computer-controlled wilderness where, yes, they duke it out mercilessly until only one schmuck is left standing. Deja-fucking-vu.
Anyhow, our heroine is Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence), a lass from a particularly poor district. Katniss is hell with a bow and arrow, and hunts squirrels to support her mother and beloved sister Primrose (Willow Shields). They live a meager existence that is punctuated occasionally by "The Reaping". And by "The Reaping" I don't mean that wacky Hilary Swank movie about the Apocalypse from a few years ago. I mean a really messed-up lottery by which a boy-girl pair is chosen from each of the 12 districts to participate in the games. Sure enough, Katniss has to step forward and volunteer (sacrifice) herself when Prim has the rather unfortunate and dubious honor of winning the lottery the first time around. Not exactly the Mega Millions jackpot, eh?
Before you know it, Katniss and fellow "winner" Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) are whisked off to the capital where they must confront the following: (1) a lot of jacked-up hairstyles; (2) a lot of eye-gouging fashions; and (3) what passes for the Most Ghoulish Press Junket ever. Basically, Katniss and Peeta are forced to go on talk shows to sell themselves for the sake of acquiring "sponsors" - essentially high-powered folks who will pull strings during the games to help their survival. So, in other words, they should not only be warriors, but whores as well. Oh, and in addition to pretending they are Brad and Angie promoting their next flick, Katniss, Peeta, and the rest of the Lucky 24 must undergo rigorous training sessions to prepare for the "kick-off".
So... who will survive "The Hunger Games"? Katniss? Peeta? One of the others? Will the lessons imparted by their mentor (and past winner) Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson) save Katniss and Peeta? Or is she pretty much going to have to depend on herself and her bow-and-arrow skills? Will Katniss see Prim and their mother ever again? And will she have to kill Peeta in the process? Will Peeta have to kill her? Can there truly only be one? Will our eyes ever recover from all that awful hair color and ghastly couture?
Whatever. At least BATTLE ROYALE had some normal hairdos and costumes. I may never look at clowns the same way ever again.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: I haven't read "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins, but I'm told the film is a fairly faithful adaptation of it. Echoing previous "survival game" films like THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME, THE TENTH VICTIM, ESCAPE 2000, and BATTLE ROYALE, THE HUNGER GAMES is probably the most glossy and mainstream entry into this sub-genre. And the one with the highest budget. Not having read the book, I can't say if the film is more or less entertaining than it.
As these movies go, THE HUNGER GAMES is a tad above average. It's considerably more polished than THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME and ESCAPE 2000, but it doesn't have the raw, edgy unpredictability of BATTLE ROYALE, the film it is most similar to. Indeed, the last half of this film is not as strong as the build-up to it. The first half of the film that covers the "training" and "marketing" that the Tributes have to go through is more compelling than the "games" themselves.
While the latter part of the film has some interesting elements (such as the birds that mimic the sounds below them, and the studio-controlled forest fires), the scenes of Katniss, Peeta, and the rest of the Tributes hunting each other down are curiously restrained. They are further hampered by the fact that we have seen this type of scenario done many times before, and more excitingly. Especially in BATTLE ROYALE.
Fortunately, Jennifer Lawrence holds the film together with her star-making performance. The mark of a true star is how they can continue to tell you something about the character they're playing even when they are not saying or doing anything. Even when Katniss is simply sitting down and looking pensive, Lawrence conveys a lot about her. And she is even better in her dialogue scenes, holding her own against more experienced stars like Woody Harrelson, Wes Bentley, and Elizabeth Banks with a combo of icy directness, raw intensity, and hidden tenderness.
As the male leads, Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth are solid, with Hutcherson understandably getting more to do as Peeta than Hemworth's Gale. At least in this installment. I'm told Gale gets more of a showcase in the later stories.
In the end, THE HUNGER GAMES is a decent entry into the "Survival Games" sub-genre that is elevated above the average mark by some intriguing set-up setpieces, and a truly riveting performance by Jennifer Lawrence. It's no BATTLE ROYALE, but then again, what is?
(Open season on... teenagers)
CAST: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Donald Sutherland, Wes Bentley, Lenny Kravitz, Willow Shields.
DIRECTOR: Gary Ross
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one really fucked-up reality show straight ahead
IT'S LIKE THIS: The whole time we were watching THE HUNGER GAMES, one thought was going through my mind: "Hmmmmm... why do I feel like I've seen this shit before?" And, no, it's not because the movie is based on the bestselling books by Suzanne Collins because I haven't read them. Nope, there was another reason why the twists and turns of THE HUNGER GAMES were as familiar to me as the chest hair patterns on Chris Evans' chest: it reminded me of the ground-breaking Japanese flick from 2000 called BATTLE ROYALE, itself based on a novel by Koushun Takami.
Basically, THE HUNGER GAMES is BATTLE ROYALE - but with Americans and lot of bad fashion and even worse hairstyles (more on that later). Essentially BATTLE ROYALE is set in a grim future where Japan regularly abducts 50 or so high school students and dumps them on some isolated island to duke it out mercilessly until only one schmuck is left standing.
Like BATTLE ROYALE, THE HUNGER GAMES is set in the distant (Lord, I frickin' hope so) future, where the United States has been broken up into a shitload of districts after a cataclysmic civil war. Based on how the current city-dwellers dress themselves, the war must have been fought not to over slavery, but over the right to wear the most laughably ridiculous clothing this side of a Barnum & Bailey circus or a clown conference.
With the war over, the horrendously-attired dipshits who run the country in The Capital believe they can prevent another uprising from ever occurring again by staging what they lovingly refer to as, ahem, "Hunger Games". Unlike BATTLE ROYALE, there are only 24 contestants culled from each of the districts, and they are not dumped on an island, but in some computer-controlled wilderness where, yes, they duke it out mercilessly until only one schmuck is left standing. Deja-fucking-vu.
Anyhow, our heroine is Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence), a lass from a particularly poor district. Katniss is hell with a bow and arrow, and hunts squirrels to support her mother and beloved sister Primrose (Willow Shields). They live a meager existence that is punctuated occasionally by "The Reaping". And by "The Reaping" I don't mean that wacky Hilary Swank movie about the Apocalypse from a few years ago. I mean a really messed-up lottery by which a boy-girl pair is chosen from each of the 12 districts to participate in the games. Sure enough, Katniss has to step forward and volunteer (sacrifice) herself when Prim has the rather unfortunate and dubious honor of winning the lottery the first time around. Not exactly the Mega Millions jackpot, eh?
Before you know it, Katniss and fellow "winner" Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) are whisked off to the capital where they must confront the following: (1) a lot of jacked-up hairstyles; (2) a lot of eye-gouging fashions; and (3) what passes for the Most Ghoulish Press Junket ever. Basically, Katniss and Peeta are forced to go on talk shows to sell themselves for the sake of acquiring "sponsors" - essentially high-powered folks who will pull strings during the games to help their survival. So, in other words, they should not only be warriors, but whores as well. Oh, and in addition to pretending they are Brad and Angie promoting their next flick, Katniss, Peeta, and the rest of the Lucky 24 must undergo rigorous training sessions to prepare for the "kick-off".
So... who will survive "The Hunger Games"? Katniss? Peeta? One of the others? Will the lessons imparted by their mentor (and past winner) Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson) save Katniss and Peeta? Or is she pretty much going to have to depend on herself and her bow-and-arrow skills? Will Katniss see Prim and their mother ever again? And will she have to kill Peeta in the process? Will Peeta have to kill her? Can there truly only be one? Will our eyes ever recover from all that awful hair color and ghastly couture?
Whatever. At least BATTLE ROYALE had some normal hairdos and costumes. I may never look at clowns the same way ever again.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: I haven't read "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins, but I'm told the film is a fairly faithful adaptation of it. Echoing previous "survival game" films like THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME, THE TENTH VICTIM, ESCAPE 2000, and BATTLE ROYALE, THE HUNGER GAMES is probably the most glossy and mainstream entry into this sub-genre. And the one with the highest budget. Not having read the book, I can't say if the film is more or less entertaining than it.
As these movies go, THE HUNGER GAMES is a tad above average. It's considerably more polished than THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME and ESCAPE 2000, but it doesn't have the raw, edgy unpredictability of BATTLE ROYALE, the film it is most similar to. Indeed, the last half of this film is not as strong as the build-up to it. The first half of the film that covers the "training" and "marketing" that the Tributes have to go through is more compelling than the "games" themselves.
While the latter part of the film has some interesting elements (such as the birds that mimic the sounds below them, and the studio-controlled forest fires), the scenes of Katniss, Peeta, and the rest of the Tributes hunting each other down are curiously restrained. They are further hampered by the fact that we have seen this type of scenario done many times before, and more excitingly. Especially in BATTLE ROYALE.
Fortunately, Jennifer Lawrence holds the film together with her star-making performance. The mark of a true star is how they can continue to tell you something about the character they're playing even when they are not saying or doing anything. Even when Katniss is simply sitting down and looking pensive, Lawrence conveys a lot about her. And she is even better in her dialogue scenes, holding her own against more experienced stars like Woody Harrelson, Wes Bentley, and Elizabeth Banks with a combo of icy directness, raw intensity, and hidden tenderness.
As the male leads, Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth are solid, with Hutcherson understandably getting more to do as Peeta than Hemworth's Gale. At least in this installment. I'm told Gale gets more of a showcase in the later stories.
In the end, THE HUNGER GAMES is a decent entry into the "Survival Games" sub-genre that is elevated above the average mark by some intriguing set-up setpieces, and a truly riveting performance by Jennifer Lawrence. It's no BATTLE ROYALE, but then again, what is?
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
SPOTLIGHT ON: Summer Movies 2012
Hello, folks...
As promised, please find below our Summer Movie List for 2012. If you only watch 20 flicks this summer, let it be the following. They are arranged in order of release date - and we will review them all, plus a few more. Let the fireworks begin. It's going to be a hot one!
SUMMER 2012 TOP 20:
1. THE AVENGERS (Release date: May 4)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Chris Evans is back as Captain America. Chris Evans is back as Captain America. Chris Evans is back as Captain America. And CAPTAIN AMERICA 2 has been confirmed for a 2014 release. YES! And I suppose the fact that Thor, Iron Man, Black Widow, The Hulk, and Hawkeye are in it, too, is sort of a bonus.
2. THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL (Release Date: May 4)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Mankind was not meant to exist on Superhero movies alone. You gotta love movies about older folks falling in love and bickering and falling in love and bickering in lovely foreign locales. Plus, Judi Dench and Maggie Smith - both Dames - are in it. Go, ladies.
3. DARK SHADOWS (Release Date: May 11)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Johnny Depp is doing his Oddball Bizarro thing again, which can be fun (PIRATE OF THE C) or just fucking weird (WILLY WONKA). But with Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham-Carter, and Chloe Moretz in supporting roles, this one may actually be decent.
4. THE DICTATOR (Release Date: May 16)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Sasha Baron Cohen follows up BORAT, BRUNO, and his Red Carpet Stunt at the Oscars with this "Prince and the Pauper" exercise about a nutcase dictator who comes to the States - and is promptly turned into your basic street punk. Watching Cohen do his usual Bizarre Dickhead With An Accent Terrorizing Us Dumb Yanks routine just might be worth it.
5. BATTLESHIP (Release Date: May 18)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: As friends of mine said when we watched WRATH OF THE TITANS and this trailer came up, "Movies should not be made from stupid goddamn board games". Agreed. But this one stars Rihanna in her film debut, dudes. And she is lookin' fine. Enough said...
6. MEN IN BLACK 3 (Release Date: May 25)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Will Smith is our boy, and nobody does "sexy and sarcastic" like he does. He could read from a cereal box and crack me up with his attitude. That's pretty much all the reason you need to take your happy ass down to the theater. That, and Emma Thompson doing her Classy Hottie thang.
7. CHERNOBYL DIARIES (Release Date: May 25)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Yes, horror movies about dumbass young folk traveling where they shouldn't and getting their asses sliced and diced isn't new. But this one is set in the deserted real-life town outside Chernobyl, Russia - site of that awful meltdown in 1986. Not even going to get into an ethical and moral debate about using that place as a setting for a horror flick. Just gonna say the trailer is kinda scary. And that is enough for me.
8. MADAGASCAR 3: EUROPE'S MOST WANTED (Release Date: June 8)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Because our crackhead quartet of Lion, Giraffe, Hippo, and Zebra are back to demonstrate why, contrary to bleeding-heart animal activists everywhere, zoos are such a good idea: to keep crazy animals like these dipshits contained. Plus, those penguins are a riot with a capital "Rye". As in: "Ham on..."
9. PROMETHEUS (Release Date: June 8)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Because it started out as prequel to ALIEN - then became a sort of "side-quel". Meaning it's set in the ALIEN universe, but not exclusively about them pesky Xenomorphs. It's about something else. Plus, it's directed by Ridley Scott - who knows a thing or two about pulse-pounding sci-fi thrillers - and it stars intergalactic hotties Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, and Noomi Rapace. Boner, Will Robinson!
10. BRAVE (Release Date: June 25)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: It's a flick with a Strong Female Lead. Sure it's an animated flick, and she's just a kid but, hey, Ripley and Sarah Connor were kids at one time, too. Looks like perfect family fare.
11. TO ROME WITH LOVE (Release Date: June 25)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: It's set in Italy. What else do you need to know?
12. MAGIC MIKE (Release Date: June 29)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT. Because it's about male strippers. And it stars Matthew McConaughey, Matt Bomer, Joe Manganiello, and Channing Tatum (who actually used to be a stripper - partay!)
NO TRAILER YET. DAMN IT.
13. PEOPLE LIKE US (Release Date: June 29)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Chris Pine and Elizabeth Banks prove their dramatic mettle here. If it works, it should have H-wood see them in a different light. Doesn't hurt to be multi-faceted. Plus, Michelle Pfeiffer is in it. Enough said.
14. THE AMAZING SPIDER MAN (Release Date: July 3)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Because Andrew Garfield and Emma "My Girl" Stone are one smokin' hot couple. And Andrew gets to wear a tight spandex suit that emphasizes his small but surprisingly shapely ass. What? You were expecting another reason?
15. ICE AGE: CONTINENTAL DRIFT (Release Date: July 13)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Those crazy dorks from the, um, Ice Age are back. And they're as cranky as ever. Watch out.
16. TED (Release Date: July 13)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Because those trailers are fucking hilarious. Admit it - you wanted to know what a teddy beer smoking a bong looks like. And Marky Mark Wahlberg is at his best in comedies. Ever see THE OTHER GUYS? I got cramps from laughing so hard. We are. So there. For this one.
17. THE DARK KNIGHT RISES (Release Date: July 20)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Seriously? You need me to explain why you should see this? All I'll say is this: Anne Hathaway, you stole the role I was born to play, you fucking bitch. Kidding. Love you, Anne. But, seriously: you swiped my role. Meow, ho.
One question, though: at the beginning of the trailer, why does Alfred the Butler (Michael Caine) sound like the fucking Geico Gecko?)
18. NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH (Release Date: July 27)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill - three of the biggest dorks in the Universe in one movie. Why shouldn't you watch it?
19. THE BOURNE LEGACY (Release Date: August 3)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Because it's been years since our last fresh Bourne fix. And we needz another hit of that shit, yo! Even if, um, technically it's not Jason Bourne anymore. Whatever. The trailer looks awesome, and so does Jeremy Renner.
20. TOTAL RECALL (Release Date: August 3)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Yes, it's another remake. Yes, it will probably disappoint. But the bottom line is I'd rather ogle Colin Farrell than Arnie Schwarzenegger. So consider me sold.
Well, that be it, folks. Summer's here and it's time to cheer! Time to dance in the street. Or something like that. Anyhow, please expect the reviews for THE HUNGER GAMES and WRATH OF THE TITANS to post tomorrow.
Buona notte, peepz...
As promised, please find below our Summer Movie List for 2012. If you only watch 20 flicks this summer, let it be the following. They are arranged in order of release date - and we will review them all, plus a few more. Let the fireworks begin. It's going to be a hot one!
SUMMER 2012 TOP 20:
1. THE AVENGERS (Release date: May 4)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Chris Evans is back as Captain America. Chris Evans is back as Captain America. Chris Evans is back as Captain America. And CAPTAIN AMERICA 2 has been confirmed for a 2014 release. YES! And I suppose the fact that Thor, Iron Man, Black Widow, The Hulk, and Hawkeye are in it, too, is sort of a bonus.
2. THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL (Release Date: May 4)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Mankind was not meant to exist on Superhero movies alone. You gotta love movies about older folks falling in love and bickering and falling in love and bickering in lovely foreign locales. Plus, Judi Dench and Maggie Smith - both Dames - are in it. Go, ladies.
3. DARK SHADOWS (Release Date: May 11)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Johnny Depp is doing his Oddball Bizarro thing again, which can be fun (PIRATE OF THE C) or just fucking weird (WILLY WONKA). But with Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham-Carter, and Chloe Moretz in supporting roles, this one may actually be decent.
4. THE DICTATOR (Release Date: May 16)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Sasha Baron Cohen follows up BORAT, BRUNO, and his Red Carpet Stunt at the Oscars with this "Prince and the Pauper" exercise about a nutcase dictator who comes to the States - and is promptly turned into your basic street punk. Watching Cohen do his usual Bizarre Dickhead With An Accent Terrorizing Us Dumb Yanks routine just might be worth it.
5. BATTLESHIP (Release Date: May 18)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: As friends of mine said when we watched WRATH OF THE TITANS and this trailer came up, "Movies should not be made from stupid goddamn board games". Agreed. But this one stars Rihanna in her film debut, dudes. And she is lookin' fine. Enough said...
6. MEN IN BLACK 3 (Release Date: May 25)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Will Smith is our boy, and nobody does "sexy and sarcastic" like he does. He could read from a cereal box and crack me up with his attitude. That's pretty much all the reason you need to take your happy ass down to the theater. That, and Emma Thompson doing her Classy Hottie thang.
7. CHERNOBYL DIARIES (Release Date: May 25)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Yes, horror movies about dumbass young folk traveling where they shouldn't and getting their asses sliced and diced isn't new. But this one is set in the deserted real-life town outside Chernobyl, Russia - site of that awful meltdown in 1986. Not even going to get into an ethical and moral debate about using that place as a setting for a horror flick. Just gonna say the trailer is kinda scary. And that is enough for me.
8. MADAGASCAR 3: EUROPE'S MOST WANTED (Release Date: June 8)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Because our crackhead quartet of Lion, Giraffe, Hippo, and Zebra are back to demonstrate why, contrary to bleeding-heart animal activists everywhere, zoos are such a good idea: to keep crazy animals like these dipshits contained. Plus, those penguins are a riot with a capital "Rye". As in: "Ham on..."
9. PROMETHEUS (Release Date: June 8)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Because it started out as prequel to ALIEN - then became a sort of "side-quel". Meaning it's set in the ALIEN universe, but not exclusively about them pesky Xenomorphs. It's about something else. Plus, it's directed by Ridley Scott - who knows a thing or two about pulse-pounding sci-fi thrillers - and it stars intergalactic hotties Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, and Noomi Rapace. Boner, Will Robinson!
10. BRAVE (Release Date: June 25)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: It's a flick with a Strong Female Lead. Sure it's an animated flick, and she's just a kid but, hey, Ripley and Sarah Connor were kids at one time, too. Looks like perfect family fare.
11. TO ROME WITH LOVE (Release Date: June 25)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: It's set in Italy. What else do you need to know?
12. MAGIC MIKE (Release Date: June 29)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT. Because it's about male strippers. And it stars Matthew McConaughey, Matt Bomer, Joe Manganiello, and Channing Tatum (who actually used to be a stripper - partay!)
NO TRAILER YET. DAMN IT.
13. PEOPLE LIKE US (Release Date: June 29)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Chris Pine and Elizabeth Banks prove their dramatic mettle here. If it works, it should have H-wood see them in a different light. Doesn't hurt to be multi-faceted. Plus, Michelle Pfeiffer is in it. Enough said.
14. THE AMAZING SPIDER MAN (Release Date: July 3)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Because Andrew Garfield and Emma "My Girl" Stone are one smokin' hot couple. And Andrew gets to wear a tight spandex suit that emphasizes his small but surprisingly shapely ass. What? You were expecting another reason?
15. ICE AGE: CONTINENTAL DRIFT (Release Date: July 13)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Those crazy dorks from the, um, Ice Age are back. And they're as cranky as ever. Watch out.
16. TED (Release Date: July 13)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Because those trailers are fucking hilarious. Admit it - you wanted to know what a teddy beer smoking a bong looks like. And Marky Mark Wahlberg is at his best in comedies. Ever see THE OTHER GUYS? I got cramps from laughing so hard. We are. So there. For this one.
17. THE DARK KNIGHT RISES (Release Date: July 20)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Seriously? You need me to explain why you should see this? All I'll say is this: Anne Hathaway, you stole the role I was born to play, you fucking bitch. Kidding. Love you, Anne. But, seriously: you swiped my role. Meow, ho.
One question, though: at the beginning of the trailer, why does Alfred the Butler (Michael Caine) sound like the fucking Geico Gecko?)
18. NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH (Release Date: July 27)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill - three of the biggest dorks in the Universe in one movie. Why shouldn't you watch it?
19. THE BOURNE LEGACY (Release Date: August 3)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Because it's been years since our last fresh Bourne fix. And we needz another hit of that shit, yo! Even if, um, technically it's not Jason Bourne anymore. Whatever. The trailer looks awesome, and so does Jeremy Renner.
20. TOTAL RECALL (Release Date: August 3)
WHY WE SHOULD WATCH IT: Yes, it's another remake. Yes, it will probably disappoint. But the bottom line is I'd rather ogle Colin Farrell than Arnie Schwarzenegger. So consider me sold.
Well, that be it, folks. Summer's here and it's time to cheer! Time to dance in the street. Or something like that. Anyhow, please expect the reviews for THE HUNGER GAMES and WRATH OF THE TITANS to post tomorrow.
Buona notte, peepz...
Monday, April 9, 2012
# 445 - MINE VAGANTI (2010)
MINE VAGANTI (2010 - COMEDY/DRAMA) ****1/2 out of *****
(Goddamn beautiful Italians... I was getting so HOT throughout this whole movie - and that's even BEFORE the guys stripped down to their Speedos and started shaking their asses on the beach.... God give me strength...)
CAST: Riccardo Scamarcio, Nicole Grimaudo, Alessandro Preziosi, Ennio Fantaschini, Lunetta Savino, Ilaria Ochinni, Bianca Nappi, Elena Sofia Ricci, Carmine Recano, Gianluca DeMarchi, Matteo Taranto, Paola Minaccioni, Mauro Bonafini, Massimiliano Gallo, Giorgio Marchesi.
DIRECTOR: Ferzan Ozpetek
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one really nutty (and sexy) Southern Italian clan straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: The title of our next review is MINE VAGANTI, which is Italian for "Loose Cannons". Which also just happens to be the title of MINE VAGANTI outside of Bella Italia. But whether called MINE VAGANTI or LOOSE CANNONS, the title is entirely apt because the movie revolves around: (1) a group of bat-shit crazy Italians who just happen (unsurprisingly) to be (2) FUCKIN' SEXY, YO!!! Which could lead to some, ahem, "loose cannons" in the form of premature ejaculation or spontaneous cumming - which, I guess, is the same thing. Just keeping it real. And dirty. And messy. I'm a horndog. Shoot me.
Anyhow, our story revolves around the highly-respected and very wealthy Cantone clan of Lecce, Italy. Now, folks, being a bit of an Italo-Phile (with an Italian maternal surname) I can unequivocally tell you several things about Lecce: (1) they have a decent soccer team with a coach who should really stop drinking espressos or his jugular may just explode on him some day; (2) they have awesome beaches on which I'd love to re-enact one of the sex scenes from AGAINST ALL ODDS (wait a minute - been there, done that, ahem); and (3) everyone who lives there seems to naturally have the glowing olive skin that Americans crave so much they will willingly lock themselves into what are essentially incubators/microwaves - or douse themselves with what is essentially skin paint - to imitate it (thank you, Lord, for making me a half-breed and therefore naturally tan). All three items figure prominently in our story, the last two more than the first one.
But back to the Cantone clan: they are a very rich family that built their fortune on a pasta empire. They consist of the following colorful fuckers, er, figures: (1) macho papa Vincenzo (Ennio Fanstaschini); (2) fluttery mama Stefania (Lunetta Savino), (3) stoic eldest son Antonio (Alessandro Preziosi), (4) bohemian younger son Tommasso (Riccardo Scamarcio), (5) dopey middle daughter Elena (Bianca Nappi), (6) horny aunt Luciana (Elena Sofia Ricci), and - last but in no way the least: (7) wise and diabetic grandma Nonna (Ilaria Occhini). The whole family is converging for a family reunion which brings Tommasso home to Lecce from Rome. Without warning, he confides to Antonio that he is: (1) gay as a Vogue dancer; and (2) planning to tell the whole family about it at dinner that night. To which our stoic Antonio responds with: "Hmmmm..." Ahem. I smell a plot twist up ahead.
Sure enough, just as Tommasso is about to make his bombshell announcement to his gathered nutjobs, er, relatives that evening, who should tap his fork on his glass and steal Tommasso's thunder by announcing that he himself is gay? If you replied, "Surely not Antonio?" then may I inform you that you have won a spot on the Great Sarcasto Mafia Expedition To Maui this summer. Oh, wait... you probably just saw the trailer for MINE VAGANTI. Forget it. We'll send you a postcard. Anyhow, Antonio basically causes all the jaws around the dinner table to basically drop into their pasta bolognese. And just like that, the Cantone family learns that their "Primo Figlio" (First Son) is a "Grande Crema Puffa" (Big Ol' Cream Puff). And just like that, Tommasso grinds his teeth and wonders if the Mafia is active in Lecce - so he can arrange for Antonio to get his ass shot off. Or at least spanked.
Anyhow, this revelation causes Vincenzo to basically collapse from a heart-attack. Not so surprising since he puts the "Ach!" in "Macho". As you can imagine, a Grade A Hetero Alpha Male Italian Stallion like Vincenzo learning that his first-born son is a Grade A Homo Who Loves Italian Sausage (so?) is kind of like me learning that Chris Evans is really a woman in drag. In other words: Shoot. Me. Now. Now, with Vincenzo's health in the balance, Tommasso doesn't dare out himself otherwise there will be another family reunion shortly: in a lawyer's office when Vincenzo's will is read. So, basically, Tommasso has to go further back into the closet and play the "Straight" game once more.
Aside from the fact that Pops is hanging on by a thread, two other matters complicate the already complicated tangle of affairs: (1) smokin' hot family friend Alba Brunetti (Nicole Grimaudo) befriends Tommasso and discovers his "secret"; and (2) Tommasso's boyfriend Marco (Carmine Recano) and their posse of Drama Queen pals (Gianluca DeMarchi, Matteo Taranto, Mauro Bonafini, Giorgio Marchesi) swoop in from Rome, not realizing that the Cantone clan doesn't know Tommasso is a card-carrying member of the Streisand Brigade (AKA fruitier than a warehouse of cherries and peaches). Trust me: you haven't lived until you've seen six Bitchy Italian Butt Pirates try to pass themself off as Horny Italian Stallions Pussy Marauders (or what we Americans clinically know as "Guidos"). There are SOUTH PARK episodes that are less funny. And given that I have literally pissed myself watching SOUTH PARK, that is fucking saying something.
So... how will the Cantone clan deal with all this drama? Will Vincenzo die from his heart condition? Will he continue to banish Antonio from the family? Or will he just accept the fact that his first born adores cock? How will Tommasso come out of the closet now? Will he continue to masquerade? Or will he muster up the courage and out himself? What about Marco and the rest of the Rome Pink Parade? Will they force Tommasso's hand? What about Alba? Will she give Tommasso the support he needs to make the right decision? Or will his beloved Nonna be the one to guide him down the right path? How will this family reunion end? HOW?!?!
Well, with a little luck, it'll end with another dance number of Marco and co. in Speedos dancing their asses off on a beach. Or will that be saved for the sequel? Hmmmmmm.....
BUT, SERIOUSLY: One of my Top Five Favorite Directors is Ferzan Ozpetek, the Turkish-Italian auteur who has given us such stellar fare as LE FATE IGNORANTI, SATURNO CONTRO, CUORE SACRO, and two of my favorite films of all time: LA FINESTRA DI FRONTE (review # 311 ) and HAMAM: IL BAGNO TURCO (review # 251 ). While elements of humor were woven through those past efforts - especially LE FATE IGNORANTI - Ozpetek's latest is probably his warmest and most humorous film to date. MINE VAGANTI is nothing short of a delight that is both sweet and tart in equal measure.
Essentially an ensemble piece, MINE VAGANTI uses the comic framework of a family dealing with the bombshell of one son's homosexuality, while the other son (also a closet homosexual) wrestles with how to break his own secret, to deal with the more dramatic issues of fulfillment, regret, happiness, memories, and loyalty. Given the Cantone clan's traditional Southern Italian culture (and the generally "macho" Italian male mentality), Antonio and Tommasso's sexual identity is perceived as scandalous. MINE VAGANTI's main dramatic (and comic arc) is how various characters come to eventually view their homosexuality as not much of a big deal - and eventually realize that there are more important issues out there.
But MINE VAGANTI, just like the rest of Ozpetek's stellar oeuvre, has more going under the surface. The movie can't be considered just a "gay" film because it not concerned exclusively with Antonio and Tommasso's dilemma. The film is a tapestry that weaves in other plot elements including lost loves, family conflict, and some tantalizingly atypical friendships. Chief among these subplots are Alba's storyline with Tommasso. If this were an American movie, Alba's character would have been just a plot device: a sweet pretty thing only there to help fool everyone else in the Cantone family into thinking Tommasso is straight.
Here, Ozpetek wisely paints Alba in many complex shades (icy, direct, formidable, scary, sarcastic, tender, compassionate, brilliant) and has her react to the events around in her in some surprising ways. Nicole Grimaudo is absolutely hypnotic as Alba and has a definite chemistry with Riccardo Scamarcio as Tommasso - even though they are playing sexually incompatible characters. They bond with their common isolation: Tommasso is isolated from his family by his secret "life", while Alba chooses to emotionally isolate herself from those around her - and seen as an aloof ice princess. Their intriguing relationship is the film's emotional fulcrum - and the rest of the film and the colorful supporting characters pivot around it. And I am officially a huge fan of Nicole Grimaudo - she's a real find. Where has this woman been? I'd love to see her be the next heroine (or villainess) in the next Bond movie.
Carmine Recanto is equally magnetic and compelling as Marco, Tommasso's lover from Rome who walks right into a tornado when he (and the rest of Tommasso's gay friends) when arrive at the Cantone villa in Lecce. While the rest of the crew (more on them below) are generally there for comic relief, Recante turns Marco into a quietly charismatic and intelligent figure that you can understand Tommasso being irresistibly drawn to. There's a reconciliation scene between Marco and Tommasso that is especially moving - primarily because of the strong electricity between Recante and Scamarcio. Essentially, the Tommasso-Alba thread and the Tommasso-Marco thread hold this film together.
The rest of the cast is just as good as Scamarcio, Grimaudo, Recante, with Ennio Fantaschini extremely amusing and exasperating as the traditional Southern Italian patriarch who desperately needs to get with the time. Alessandro Preziosi brings and interesting melancholy to his role of Antonio, the son who uses his brother Tommasso's courage to muster up his own. The dinner scene where Antonio interrupts Tommasso's speech to make his declaration is played by Preziosi with class, wit, sadness, and dignity. Great scene. Lunetta Savino, Elena Sofia Ricci, Illaria Occhini, and Paola Minacconi are vivid as the bewildered femmes of the Cantone clan, who are just as floored by Antonio's revelation - but do a better job of hiding it than Vincenzo does. Occhini deserves special mention for her portrayal of the family matriarch who is probably the most sympathetic (along with Alba) to Tommasso and Antonio's plight.
If Grimaudo, Recante, and Scamarcio are the film's heart, it's funny bone is comprised of Gianluca DeMarchi, Matteo Taranto, Mauro Bonafini, and Giorgio Marchesi. While these guys are playing fairly broad characters bordering on gay stereotypes, you cannot deny they are hilarious. Especially in one scene where they secretly giggle like schoolgirls that none of the Cantone clan suspected they were gay - then the maid walks in and catches them. DeMarchi, Taranto, Bonafini, and Marchesi take the film's wry humor and turns it goofy and loony everytime they are onscreen. It's a nice combination. Another hilarious moment is when Davide levels Domenico b saying he wasn't nicknamed "Queen of Briefs" because he's a lawyer. Priceless.
In the end, MINE VAGANTI is just as good as IL BAGNO TURCO and LA FINESTRA DI FRONTE - but warmer and more humorous. It's breezy, smart, soulful, and sexy - in other words, it's quintessentially Italian...
(Goddamn beautiful Italians... I was getting so HOT throughout this whole movie - and that's even BEFORE the guys stripped down to their Speedos and started shaking their asses on the beach.... God give me strength...)
CAST: Riccardo Scamarcio, Nicole Grimaudo, Alessandro Preziosi, Ennio Fantaschini, Lunetta Savino, Ilaria Ochinni, Bianca Nappi, Elena Sofia Ricci, Carmine Recano, Gianluca DeMarchi, Matteo Taranto, Paola Minaccioni, Mauro Bonafini, Massimiliano Gallo, Giorgio Marchesi.
DIRECTOR: Ferzan Ozpetek
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one really nutty (and sexy) Southern Italian clan straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: The title of our next review is MINE VAGANTI, which is Italian for "Loose Cannons". Which also just happens to be the title of MINE VAGANTI outside of Bella Italia. But whether called MINE VAGANTI or LOOSE CANNONS, the title is entirely apt because the movie revolves around: (1) a group of bat-shit crazy Italians who just happen (unsurprisingly) to be (2) FUCKIN' SEXY, YO!!! Which could lead to some, ahem, "loose cannons" in the form of premature ejaculation or spontaneous cumming - which, I guess, is the same thing. Just keeping it real. And dirty. And messy. I'm a horndog. Shoot me.
Anyhow, our story revolves around the highly-respected and very wealthy Cantone clan of Lecce, Italy. Now, folks, being a bit of an Italo-Phile (with an Italian maternal surname) I can unequivocally tell you several things about Lecce: (1) they have a decent soccer team with a coach who should really stop drinking espressos or his jugular may just explode on him some day; (2) they have awesome beaches on which I'd love to re-enact one of the sex scenes from AGAINST ALL ODDS (wait a minute - been there, done that, ahem); and (3) everyone who lives there seems to naturally have the glowing olive skin that Americans crave so much they will willingly lock themselves into what are essentially incubators/microwaves - or douse themselves with what is essentially skin paint - to imitate it (thank you, Lord, for making me a half-breed and therefore naturally tan). All three items figure prominently in our story, the last two more than the first one.
But back to the Cantone clan: they are a very rich family that built their fortune on a pasta empire. They consist of the following colorful fuckers, er, figures: (1) macho papa Vincenzo (Ennio Fanstaschini); (2) fluttery mama Stefania (Lunetta Savino), (3) stoic eldest son Antonio (Alessandro Preziosi), (4) bohemian younger son Tommasso (Riccardo Scamarcio), (5) dopey middle daughter Elena (Bianca Nappi), (6) horny aunt Luciana (Elena Sofia Ricci), and - last but in no way the least: (7) wise and diabetic grandma Nonna (Ilaria Occhini). The whole family is converging for a family reunion which brings Tommasso home to Lecce from Rome. Without warning, he confides to Antonio that he is: (1) gay as a Vogue dancer; and (2) planning to tell the whole family about it at dinner that night. To which our stoic Antonio responds with: "Hmmmm..." Ahem. I smell a plot twist up ahead.
Sure enough, just as Tommasso is about to make his bombshell announcement to his gathered nutjobs, er, relatives that evening, who should tap his fork on his glass and steal Tommasso's thunder by announcing that he himself is gay? If you replied, "Surely not Antonio?" then may I inform you that you have won a spot on the Great Sarcasto Mafia Expedition To Maui this summer. Oh, wait... you probably just saw the trailer for MINE VAGANTI. Forget it. We'll send you a postcard. Anyhow, Antonio basically causes all the jaws around the dinner table to basically drop into their pasta bolognese. And just like that, the Cantone family learns that their "Primo Figlio" (First Son) is a "Grande Crema Puffa" (Big Ol' Cream Puff). And just like that, Tommasso grinds his teeth and wonders if the Mafia is active in Lecce - so he can arrange for Antonio to get his ass shot off. Or at least spanked.
Anyhow, this revelation causes Vincenzo to basically collapse from a heart-attack. Not so surprising since he puts the "Ach!" in "Macho". As you can imagine, a Grade A Hetero Alpha Male Italian Stallion like Vincenzo learning that his first-born son is a Grade A Homo Who Loves Italian Sausage (so?) is kind of like me learning that Chris Evans is really a woman in drag. In other words: Shoot. Me. Now. Now, with Vincenzo's health in the balance, Tommasso doesn't dare out himself otherwise there will be another family reunion shortly: in a lawyer's office when Vincenzo's will is read. So, basically, Tommasso has to go further back into the closet and play the "Straight" game once more.
Aside from the fact that Pops is hanging on by a thread, two other matters complicate the already complicated tangle of affairs: (1) smokin' hot family friend Alba Brunetti (Nicole Grimaudo) befriends Tommasso and discovers his "secret"; and (2) Tommasso's boyfriend Marco (Carmine Recano) and their posse of Drama Queen pals (Gianluca DeMarchi, Matteo Taranto, Mauro Bonafini, Giorgio Marchesi) swoop in from Rome, not realizing that the Cantone clan doesn't know Tommasso is a card-carrying member of the Streisand Brigade (AKA fruitier than a warehouse of cherries and peaches). Trust me: you haven't lived until you've seen six Bitchy Italian Butt Pirates try to pass themself off as Horny Italian Stallions Pussy Marauders (or what we Americans clinically know as "Guidos"). There are SOUTH PARK episodes that are less funny. And given that I have literally pissed myself watching SOUTH PARK, that is fucking saying something.
So... how will the Cantone clan deal with all this drama? Will Vincenzo die from his heart condition? Will he continue to banish Antonio from the family? Or will he just accept the fact that his first born adores cock? How will Tommasso come out of the closet now? Will he continue to masquerade? Or will he muster up the courage and out himself? What about Marco and the rest of the Rome Pink Parade? Will they force Tommasso's hand? What about Alba? Will she give Tommasso the support he needs to make the right decision? Or will his beloved Nonna be the one to guide him down the right path? How will this family reunion end? HOW?!?!
Well, with a little luck, it'll end with another dance number of Marco and co. in Speedos dancing their asses off on a beach. Or will that be saved for the sequel? Hmmmmmm.....
BUT, SERIOUSLY: One of my Top Five Favorite Directors is Ferzan Ozpetek, the Turkish-Italian auteur who has given us such stellar fare as LE FATE IGNORANTI, SATURNO CONTRO, CUORE SACRO, and two of my favorite films of all time: LA FINESTRA DI FRONTE (review # 311 ) and HAMAM: IL BAGNO TURCO (review # 251 ). While elements of humor were woven through those past efforts - especially LE FATE IGNORANTI - Ozpetek's latest is probably his warmest and most humorous film to date. MINE VAGANTI is nothing short of a delight that is both sweet and tart in equal measure.
Essentially an ensemble piece, MINE VAGANTI uses the comic framework of a family dealing with the bombshell of one son's homosexuality, while the other son (also a closet homosexual) wrestles with how to break his own secret, to deal with the more dramatic issues of fulfillment, regret, happiness, memories, and loyalty. Given the Cantone clan's traditional Southern Italian culture (and the generally "macho" Italian male mentality), Antonio and Tommasso's sexual identity is perceived as scandalous. MINE VAGANTI's main dramatic (and comic arc) is how various characters come to eventually view their homosexuality as not much of a big deal - and eventually realize that there are more important issues out there.
But MINE VAGANTI, just like the rest of Ozpetek's stellar oeuvre, has more going under the surface. The movie can't be considered just a "gay" film because it not concerned exclusively with Antonio and Tommasso's dilemma. The film is a tapestry that weaves in other plot elements including lost loves, family conflict, and some tantalizingly atypical friendships. Chief among these subplots are Alba's storyline with Tommasso. If this were an American movie, Alba's character would have been just a plot device: a sweet pretty thing only there to help fool everyone else in the Cantone family into thinking Tommasso is straight.
Here, Ozpetek wisely paints Alba in many complex shades (icy, direct, formidable, scary, sarcastic, tender, compassionate, brilliant) and has her react to the events around in her in some surprising ways. Nicole Grimaudo is absolutely hypnotic as Alba and has a definite chemistry with Riccardo Scamarcio as Tommasso - even though they are playing sexually incompatible characters. They bond with their common isolation: Tommasso is isolated from his family by his secret "life", while Alba chooses to emotionally isolate herself from those around her - and seen as an aloof ice princess. Their intriguing relationship is the film's emotional fulcrum - and the rest of the film and the colorful supporting characters pivot around it. And I am officially a huge fan of Nicole Grimaudo - she's a real find. Where has this woman been? I'd love to see her be the next heroine (or villainess) in the next Bond movie.
Carmine Recanto is equally magnetic and compelling as Marco, Tommasso's lover from Rome who walks right into a tornado when he (and the rest of Tommasso's gay friends) when arrive at the Cantone villa in Lecce. While the rest of the crew (more on them below) are generally there for comic relief, Recante turns Marco into a quietly charismatic and intelligent figure that you can understand Tommasso being irresistibly drawn to. There's a reconciliation scene between Marco and Tommasso that is especially moving - primarily because of the strong electricity between Recante and Scamarcio. Essentially, the Tommasso-Alba thread and the Tommasso-Marco thread hold this film together.
The rest of the cast is just as good as Scamarcio, Grimaudo, Recante, with Ennio Fantaschini extremely amusing and exasperating as the traditional Southern Italian patriarch who desperately needs to get with the time. Alessandro Preziosi brings and interesting melancholy to his role of Antonio, the son who uses his brother Tommasso's courage to muster up his own. The dinner scene where Antonio interrupts Tommasso's speech to make his declaration is played by Preziosi with class, wit, sadness, and dignity. Great scene. Lunetta Savino, Elena Sofia Ricci, Illaria Occhini, and Paola Minacconi are vivid as the bewildered femmes of the Cantone clan, who are just as floored by Antonio's revelation - but do a better job of hiding it than Vincenzo does. Occhini deserves special mention for her portrayal of the family matriarch who is probably the most sympathetic (along with Alba) to Tommasso and Antonio's plight.
If Grimaudo, Recante, and Scamarcio are the film's heart, it's funny bone is comprised of Gianluca DeMarchi, Matteo Taranto, Mauro Bonafini, and Giorgio Marchesi. While these guys are playing fairly broad characters bordering on gay stereotypes, you cannot deny they are hilarious. Especially in one scene where they secretly giggle like schoolgirls that none of the Cantone clan suspected they were gay - then the maid walks in and catches them. DeMarchi, Taranto, Bonafini, and Marchesi take the film's wry humor and turns it goofy and loony everytime they are onscreen. It's a nice combination. Another hilarious moment is when Davide levels Domenico b saying he wasn't nicknamed "Queen of Briefs" because he's a lawyer. Priceless.
In the end, MINE VAGANTI is just as good as IL BAGNO TURCO and LA FINESTRA DI FRONTE - but warmer and more humorous. It's breezy, smart, soulful, and sexy - in other words, it's quintessentially Italian...
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