# 481 - THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY (2012)

THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY (2012 - ACTION / THRILLER) ** out of *****

(Unless, of course, you live in the Philippines - then that light is pretty fucking hot...)



CAST: Henry Cavill, Bruce Willis, Sigourney Weaver, Veronica Echegui, Caroline Goodall, Ravi Gafron, Emma Hamilton, Oscar Jaenada.

DIRECTOR: Mabrouk El Mechri

WARNING: Some seriously mundane "Bourne By The Numbers" antics - straight ahead...




IT'S LIKE THIS: It's a damn shame that you can't rate a movie based on how hairy and how awesome its hero's pecs are. If that's the case, THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY would've easily scored a perfect five-star rating. Doubt me? Well, allow me to present the evidence in the form of star Henry Cavill's awesome chest:

Exhibit A:




Exhibit B:




Exhibit C:




Exhibit D:




Exhibit HELL YEAH!:





Wow. Either that pesky Global Warming thang has sped up, or there's another reason why it's hot as sauna in here. At any rate, as I mentioned before, if all that mattered in THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY was Henry C's pecs and abs, well, this would be one of the Top Ten Flicks Of 2012. Anyone wondering why he was cast as the new Superman/Clark Kent in next year's Superman reboot, MAN OF STEEL, should stop wondering immediately and just eye-fuck that chest. Seriously, just looking at that thing makes my eyes roll back into my head and my toes curl up. Not to mention makes my balls ache. Put it this way: even my brother - who is the straightest, macho-est, most ridiculously testosterone-filled man alive - admits to having a bit of a "Man-Crush" on Henry Cavill. Oh, wait... I promised I wouldn't tell a soul about that. My bad, bro...

Unfortunately, there are other things one must consider when reviewing a movie besides how hot the leading man is. You know, stupid stuff like: (1) coherent plot, (2) dynamic action, (3) razor-edge suspense, (4) complex characters, (5) emotional resonance, and (6) dialogue that doesn't make you wonder if a crack-addicted monkey wrote the script. When taken into consideration, these six factors suddenly make THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY's potential ***** rating drop as sharply as my IQ with each passing year. At this rate, I'll be about as smart as your average pre-schooler in about two years. Damn those gas fumes. Don't ask.

Put simply, THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY is one of those Jason Bourne-wannabe flicks where the following elements are present: (1) foot chases, (2) hand-to-hand combat, (3) perilous jumps from one rooftop to another, which are (4) all filmed with a camera so shaky you have to wonder if the operator is a career chain smoker who just went cold turkey the day before. Now, folks, all these elements are believable when executed by Jason Bourne. After all, he is a secret agent. That's what he gets paid to do. The "hero" of THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY, on the other hand, is not a secret agent. Far from it. He just looks like one.

No, sir... Will Shaw (Henry "Lick My Pecs" Cavill) is a Wall Street trader / businessman / yuppie / whatever who is visiting sunny, hot Spain in the middle of summer (another reason why that titles makes no fucking sense). And the worse thing he's probably ever had to deal with in his life is the barista at his local Starbucks back in NYC putting regular milk instead of soy milk in his latte. His pops is Martin Shaw (Bruce "My Mojo Is Still Flowing Like A Mofo Yo" Willis), a diplomat with a humdrum job at the U.S. Consulate in Madrid. Along with wife/mom Laurie (Caroline Goodall), younger brother Josh (Ravi Gafron), and Josh's ditzy girlfriend Dara (Emma Hamilton), Will and Martin are sailing along the coast of Southern Spain and generally discovering why the Spanish are a bunch of happy mo-fos: all that sunny weather, yo...

Unfortunately, their vacaciones en Espana is seriously pissed on by the following things: (1) Will's business venture back in New York is going under, making it (2) inconvenient for him to fly all the way to Spain to hang with his family; which means (3) he's constantly distracted and leaving them to text and/or call his homeys and shit on his Blackberry; which in turn (4) seriously pisses off Martin, who is a bit of a control freak; which in turn (5) leads to Martin taking that fucking phone from Will and tossing it into the Med. Do you know how many times I've wanted to do that to someone who won't shut the fuck up on the bus or train? Like we give a crap about how your fucking pap smear went, lady. Wait until you get to your destination, you airhead. Let's just say I kind of cheered at this scene. And let's just say that was probably the only time I cheered in this movie - apart from the three scenes where Will took his shirt off.

Anyhow, as annoying as the above factors are, they're still nothing in comparison to what happens when Will decides to throw a hissy fit after the "Daddy Threw My Phone Into The Mediterranean Sea" extravaganza. He jumps off the boat and swims to shore (cue the first of the shirtless scenes - yeah!) under the pretense of getting some bandages and antiseptic for Dara, whose noggin (or what passes for one), got conked by the boat's jib boom (grandpa owned a smallish yacht - shoot me) during the whole "Daddy Threw My Phone Into The Mediterranean Sea" extravaganza. Don't ask. Anyhow, when Will gets back to the boat, he discovers the following things: (1) his whole family is missing, (2) there are signs of a bloody fight, and (3) it's looking like he can kiss his Spanish Holiday bye-bye, ese. Or is it "esay?"

Whatever. To make matters worse, when Will tries to report his missing family to the local policia, what should happen but those very same policia basically targeting his ass like he's the bad guy? Que paso? How do you say "WTF?" in Spanish? Then, as if Will's world couldn't possibly get any more fucked up, Martin himself shows up to help his son escape the baddies. Just to make sure Will is as shell-shocked as possible, Martin also tells him the following things: (1) he is not a diplomat like Will and the rest of their family thought, (2) he is actually - oh, what a fresh twist - a CIA agent, and (3) the people that kidnapped the rest of the Shaws (plus that twit Dara) are bad guys who want Martin to return some stupid briefcase he stole from them - and they are led by one really bitchy chick named Jean Carrack (Sigourney Weaver). Like I said, some scripts feel like they were written by a bunch of monkeys on crack.

So... will Martin and Will be able to retrieve that fucking suitcase in time to save their family? What is in it, anyway? Is there something that Martin isn't telling Will? What is it? And what is Martin's connection to Jean? And why are Jean's panties in such a bunch, anyway? Will Martin and Will ever see Laurie, Josh, and Dara ever again? And the most important question of all: will Henry Cavill give Matthew McConaughey a run for his money in the "any-excuse-to-take-my-shirt-off" department?

I sure as hell hope so. Let me remind you folks yet one more time:



Yup. That's what happens to dirty boys: they get chained up in the basement until I need them again - like every twenty minutes...

BUT, SERIOUSLY: In past reviews, we've talked about how necessary "emotional centers" are to movies. Think of your favorite movies... You may think the reason you love them so much is because they are funny, scary, thrilling, dramatic, touching, tearjerking, dynamic, or simply entertaining - but the simple truth is you connected with them. They registered with you enough for you to be pulled in. Whatever your top favorite films are, they are your favorite films because they had an emotional center that you tapped into - whether you realize it or not. My TOP 5 favorite films - BOY A, ORDINARY PEOPLE, REAR WINDOW, THE ENGLISH PATIENT, WEDDING CRASHERS - all had strong emotional centers that I connected with, which made the respective journeys - whether sad, scary, romantic, or funny - exceedingly visceral and unforgettable.

Without an emotional center, films become forgettable. Without that connection to audiences, two hours worth of celluloid may entertain you in the moment, but ultimately will not stay with you. A movie may be technically well-made, competently shot, and professionally acted - but without audience connection, it will not land a place on anyone's favorite list. Which is fine, because most movies are simply meant to entertain and nothing more. Many films are entertaining and enjoyable without having a strong emotional center. If the plot and execution is strong, that can be enough to make a film passable, if ultimately forgettable, entertainment. On the other hand, if a movie has a plot that is weak and unoriginal, it needs a solid emotional center and engagingly sympathetic characters to score a pass - otherwise, it ends up being mediocre.

One such film, unfortunately, is THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY. This film has an A-list cast that is combination of rising young stars (Henry Cavill, who is the new Superman/Clark Kent in next year's MAN OF STEEL), talented veterans (the formidable and classy Bruce Willis and Sigourney Weaver), and reliable foreign talent (the lovely Caroline Goodall, one of England's finest actresses, and Veronica Echegui, one of Spain's most dynamic new faces). Sadly, they are at the mercy of a script that, while having the germ of a good idea at its core, constantly makes the wrong choices and takes the easy way out - every single time - and doesn't give us a single character to truly root for. The result is zero emotional connection with the story or the individuals within it. And that is very unfortunate, because with a couple major rewrites and tweaks, THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY could've easily been a decent entry into the post-modern "Edgy Spy Movie" genre that was kickstarted by THE BOURNE IDENTITY and its sequels.

THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY essentially takes a classic Hitchcockian set-up - "an innocent man caught up in some sinister events" - and tries to fuse it with the tropes of the "Edgy Spy Movie" genre: espionage, double-crosses, byzantine schemes, and people who are not what they appear to be. Unfortunately, it falls very short of the mark - primarily because our hero Will Shaw ultimately doesn't register as a full-blooded hero or character. And since we spend pretty much the whole movie with him, that is not a good thing. There are some performers who are so brilliant and breathtaking as to generate genuine concern and interest in a cardboard character and lazy script, but they are few and far between. You can't really fault Henry Cavill for not being one of them. The man is an arresting screen presence and a very handsome man, and he is certainly talented, but he is defeated by a role that requires nothing more from him than to run around and look scared. Cavill deserves better than this, and his "debut" as Clark Kent/Superman in next year's eagerly-awaited MAN OF STEEL will surely serve him better than this movie.

The film's best moments are in the first twenty minutes, when the script sets up family tensions between Will and his father Martin (Willis). And later, when Will discovers that his father is not who he says he is, the film becomes more interesting as we anticipate a plot that will force father and son to work together to save their family - and bridge the gap between them. I'm not spoiling much by saying that this doesn't happen - because the trailers make it abundantly clear that Martin is killed off by the baddies barely a half-hour in - leaving Will on his own to untangle everything.

Needless to say, this plot decision pretty much kills THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY. While having Martin and Will work together to save the day would not have been 100% original, since we've seen this before in 1985's Gene Hackman/Matt Dillon actioner TARGET and INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE (where Indy and his father teamed up and healed old hurts in the process), it still would've been a more interesting angle to take. And it would've provided a stronger emotional core to build the film around - especially considering the movie does do a good job of setting up the thorny relationship between Will and Martin in the first act. All the director and writers had to do was continue down the same path - and continually up the ante. Unfortunately, in their attempts to be "edgy" and "unpredictable" they only end up being bland and unsurprising. As a result, nothing in this movie feels genuine. You certainly couldn't say that about the BOURNE films, which always had a strong beating heart at the center of all the chases, thrills, betrayals, and suspense. It all comes down to the emotional center, which this movie conspicuously lacks.

The supporting cast is okay and nothing more, with Sigourney Weaver getting the most screentime as sort of a "Pamela Landy-gone-very-bad-and-crossed-over-to-the-dark-side" type of character. Weaver's Jean Carrack is sufficiently menacing and icy, but that's all she is - she gets no complexity or humanity like some of the best screen villainesses like Elektra King (THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH) and Catherine Trammell (BASIC INSTINCT) did from their writers. Weaver injects some occasional humor here and there, but in the end, like Cavill and Willis, she is stifled by the script - which requires nothing more of her than to act like your "typical cardboard baddie." Caroline Goodall and Veronica Echegui fare even worse - with Goodall stuck in a thankless role as Will's kidnapped mother, and Echegui's potentially interesting and should've-been pivotal character, Lucia, woefully getting cast aside after a promising introduction. As with Will and Martin's squandered "troubled father and son" plot thread, Lucia's angle could've given THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY the depth it really needed. But, again, the script takes the wrong path and dooms the story to mediocrity - and no amount of flashy action and shaky camerawork can change that.

In the end, THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY lives up to its title - it leaves you cold. Go watch TARGET, INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE, the BOURNE movies, or anything by Alfred Hitchcock to see the right way to make a thriller with a strong emotional center. What a waste...

Fall 2012 Movie Schedule...

Hello, folks.... It's been a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful weekend on all fronts. The End of Summer is upon us (even though we officially commemorated it last week with much wine and partying). Summer is always great, but the Fall has its own rewards. With that in mind, please find below our Fall movies. The reviews will start posting this week.

Also, please note that once we hit review # 500 at the end of the Fall, we will have to scale our reviews back considerably for 2013 and onward - due to major writing projects (old and new) and other creative endeavors that are really starting to heat up. Please expect only a few reviews to post every month, no more than 5, as time is becoming even more precious. It's all good, though. It's all very good.

Without further ado, please see our Fall flicks below. Please note that October will be Horror Movie Month - so except mostly scary movies in the Month of Halloween, my favorite Holiday.

# 481 - THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY (AKA: Henry Cavill Pretends He's Jason Bourne - Color Me Unimpressed)

# 482 - HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET (AKA: Freakazoids Who Live Down The Lane)

# 483 - HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA (AKA: Home Sweet Home)

# 484 - THE TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE (AKA: Clint Eastwood Plays Another Grumpy Old Man)

# 485 - THE FOG (AKA: Stop The Shitty Remakes Already)

# 486 - THE ORPHANAGE (AKA: So Much For That Spanish Holiday)

# 487 - PRINCE OF DARKNESS (AKA: Lucifer Does The Prodigal Son Thang)

# 488 - TERROR TRAIN (AKA: The Frat Party From Hell)

# 489 - SINISTER (AKA: This Is Why I Don't Go Rummaging Through Old Boxes In The Attic)

# 490 - HALLOWEEN (AKA: Open Season On Babysitters)

# 491 - CLOUD ATLAS (AKA: TITANIC Meets Reincarnation)

# 492 - TAKEN 2 (AKA: Liam Neeson Does Sexy Deadly Daddy Thang Again)

# 493 - PITCH PERFECT (AKA: American Idol On Crack)

# 494 - SKYFALL (AKA: My Boy Bond Bust Shit Up Again)

# 495 - WRECK IT RALPH (AKA: A Cartoon For Video Gamers - Fucking Finally!)

# 496 - PLAYING FOR KEEPS (AKA: Finally - Another American Soccer Movie!!)

# 497 - THE HOBBIT (AKA: Tolkien Fanboys Jizz Themselves Once Again)

# 498 - THIS MUST BE THE PLACE (AKA: Sean Penn Goes Goofy Again - HURRAY!)

# 499 - THE MAN WITH THE IRON FISTS (AKA: My Man Russell Crowe Goes Kung Fu On Us - HELL TO THE YEAH!!!)

# 500 - 500 DAYS OF SUMMER (AKA: When Harry Met Sally For The Facebook Crowd)

Please note that the order of the films (and some of the films themselves) may change around, depending on screening availability and time constraints.

Have a great week, folks. Here's to the arrival of Fall! : )

MOVIE MUSIC OF THE WEEK: The Music of WEDDING CRASHERS...

Hello, folks...

With the posting of the lovely, lovely BOY A, we can begin our Fall Movie 2012 Parade. Please expect the schedule, as well as the first two reviews to post tomorrow. Those would be the Henry Cavill/Bruce Willis/Sigourney Weaver actioner THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY, and the Jennifer Lawrence/Elisabeth Shue thriller HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET. Find out tomorrow if they make the cut.

For now, in honor of two important weddings happening this weekend, join us in celebrating the music of my # 1 favorite comedy of all time: WEDDING CRASHERS. The movie is a hilarious, irreverent, raunchy, yet also smart, sensitive, and quirky celebration of love and all the nutty things that go with it. The music - from such luminaries as JonT, Coldplay, and The Isley Brothers - is just as terrific.

In honor of the lovely couples marrying this weekend, this one's for you guys...


"Sparks" by Coldplay:




"Sweetheart" by Jon T. (My fave from the movie):





"Shout" by The Isley Brothers:





And, last but not the least, a tribute to John and Claire (Owen Wilson and Rachel MacAdams), the lovely central couple of WEDDING CRASHERS. The music is one of our faves from the past few years: Timbaland's "Apologize":




And, finally, our favorite scene from WEDDING CRASHERS: the beach scene with John and Claire, with Rolfe Kent and Christophe Beck's beautiful score playing in the background. Great scene from a great movie:




Ciao ciao... Have a great Saturday night, folks. Dance the night away. We are... : )

# 480 - BOY A (2007)

BOY A (2007 - DRAMA / ROMANCE / CRIME) ***** out of *****

(Andrew Garfield... you, sir, are The Man...)








CAST: Andrew Garfield, Peter Mullan, Katie Lyons, Shaun Evans, Jeremy Swift, Alfie Owen, Taylor Doherty, Siobhan Finneran, Skye Bennett, James Young.

DIRECTOR: John Crowley.

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some good reasons to keep a box of tissues next to your couch - straight ahead...




IT'S LIKE THIS: There's a new employee at IDV Deliveries in Manchester, England. His name is Jack Burridge (Andrew Garfield).

At first glance, Jack seems to be your average 24-year old guy. He's got the eager puppy dog energy of someone who can't wait to start his new job. He's got big brown doe eyes that look out onto the world as if he's seeing everything for the first time. He's got a quick easy smile that is undimmed by skepticism or experience, and wins over almost everyone he meets. And, most important of all, Jack has the unswerving loyalty of his gruff but loving Uncle Terry (Peter Mullan), who acts like Jack's guardian angel - keeping his distance but always ready to swoop in to protect and help Jack at any moment. In short, Jack seems to be a normal British twentysomething navigating his way through life.

But he isn't.

You see, Jack is a recently-released convict - and his real name is Eric Wilson. He was incarcerated when he was just a shy, impressionable 10-year-old boy (Alfie Owen). Young Eric fell in with a bad apple, another 10-year-old named Philip Craig (Taylor Doherty) with a horrible home life. Philip basically attacked and murdered a classmate and yanked Jack into the whole thing. Philip and Eric were prosecuted and referred to in the press as "Boy B" and "Boy A." Philip ended up committing suicide while in prison, while Eric soldiered on and eventually grew up. Now, he has been paroled - and has legally changed his name to Jack Burridge to start a new life. But there is also another reason: the crime was so sensationalized and notorious that he needs a new identity to keep himself safe from vigilantes and bounty hunters.

Also, Terry is not Jack's uncle. He is Jack's corrections officer, but his love for Jack is genuine and powerful - more than the love he feels for his own estranged son Zeb (David Murphy). Terry first met Jack when he was still the 10-year-old boy named Eric arriving at the jail after the conviction. Over the last fourteen years, Terry mentored Eric and watched over him until he was paroled and eventually grew up to become Jack. Terry is determined to see Jack succeed, and has set him up with that job at IDV Deliveries. Like a proud uncle - or father - Terry stands by and watches as Jack makes friends with Chris (Shaun Evans) and the rest of the crew. He watches also as Jack begins a romantic relationship with Michelle (Katie Lyons), the sarcastic but kind-hearted secretary at IGV Deliveries' front office. It seems like Jack has a new start on life - and he could not be happier. And Terry couldn't be prouder.

But... will Jack's past as Eric (and the horrible crime he committed with Philip) come back to haunt him? What happens when someone broadcasts an age-enhanced picture of Eric on TV? How long can Jack go on living his new life before someone puts two and two together? And what happens when Jack and Chris save a young girl from a car crash - and end up on the front page of the local newspaper as heroes? Will someone recognize Jack from the age-enhanced photo of Eric? If so, how will his friends react? Will Chris stand by him? Or abandon him? What about Michelle? Is her love for Jack so true that it can withstand the terrible secret from his past? And how can Terry protect this boy that he loves more than his own son? Will Terry have to make the ultimate sacrifice to save him? Can there be a happy ending for "Boy A"?

I wish I could say "yes." I really do...

BUT, SERIOUSLY: What makes a movie your favorite? What really does it for you? A great story? Engaging characters? Side-splitting humor? Chilling scares? Breathless thrills? Explosive action? Provocative themes? Romantic clinches? Cliffhanger endings? Great production values? What?

These were the questions that some friends and I pondered over Thursday Happy Hour earlier this month. One friend posited that it is impossible to have one favorite film. Rather, he said, we should have one favorite from each genre. If that's true, then my list would be: WEDDING CRASHERS (comedy), THE FOG (horror), ALIEN (sci-fi), WEEKEND & THE ENGLISH PATIENT (romances), REAR WINDOW & THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (thrillers), DIE HARD (action), LILO AND STITCH (animated), AND THEN THERE WERE NONE (mystery), CINEMA PARADISO & IL POSTINO (foreign), GREASE & THE SOUND OF MUSIC (musical), and for drama... well, until 2010 it was ORDINARY PEOPLE.

Another friend, however, disagreed that you couldn't have one favorite film above all else. Movies, he said, were just like people. Some you like. Some you dislike. Some you hate. Some you've never heard of. And some you love. And, among the ones you love, one is the love of your life. He suggested that the love of your life and your favorite movie both have one thing in common: they haunt you. They may not be perfect. They may sometimes annoy and infuriate you. They may challenge you and make you uncomfortable, and you may run or withdraw from them because you aren't ready to accept the challenge. But what they can do that no one else can, is lay bare the map of your heart - and find a permanent place in it, whether you care to admit it or not. In short, they stay with you. That one person who haunts you more than any other, my friend said, is the love of your life. And that one movie that stays with you more than any other, is your favorite film. And I couldn't agree more.

Out of all my favorites films, the one that stayed with me the most - haunted me - for the longest time was ORDINARY PEOPLE. That 1980 film was also Robert Redford's directorial debut, and tackled one well-to-do Chicago family's implosion in the wake of the older son's tragic accidental death - and the younger son's crippling sense of "survivor's guilt." While WEDDING CRASHERS, THE FOG, ALIEN, THE ENGLISH PATIENT, WEEKEND, DIE HARD, THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, LILO AND STITCH, AND THEN THERE WERE NONE, CINEMA PARADISO, IL POSTINO, GREASE, and THE SOUND OF MUSIC all have special places in my heart, it was ORDINARY PEOPLE that my thoughts would most often return to. It was the exquisitely perfect combo of great characters, subtle but powerful emotion, and timelessly great storytelling. Since I saw it as a kid, it was my favorite drama - and my favorite film.

Then, in 2008, I saw BOY A. And it devastated me like no other film I've ever seen. Even more than ORDINARY PEOPLE.

For years after that, I couldn't bring myself to watch BOY A again - or even talk about it. Not because it wasn't good. It was, in fact, a brilliant film. But it was also utterly heartbreaking, with a wrenching, beautifully hopeful and sad turn from Andrew Garfield - in his first major screen role that nabbed him a very much-deserved British Academy Of Film award - their equivalent of our Oscars. But I stayed away, because no one likes to get their heart broken again - and BOY A was sometimes difficult to watch. Nevertheless, the movie was never far from my thoughts. In short, it haunted me.

It wasn't until 2010, about two years after it was released on American DVD, that I watched it again when a friend who also loved it gave it to me as a gift. Even then, I was reluctant to pop it in the DVD player because I remembered how much it affected me. Nevertheless, I went ahead and watched it - and got my heart broken all over again. This time, though, it was different. This time, I embraced the pain. This time, I had to face the fact that, despite all my attempts to avoid the fact, I had fallen in love with BOY A. Or, in the words of REO Speedwagon's famous song: "I can't fight this feeling anymore..." This is the movie, out of all my favorites, that has stayed with me the most. This movie is The One. And just like that, BOY A became my new favorite drama - and my new favorite film.

Since BOY A's release in 2007 in England and then a year later in the United States, Andrew Garfield has rightfully gotten the attention of Hollywood. Based on his work in BOY A, Robert Redford cast him in LIONS FOR LAMBS, where Garfield held his own against Redford and a stellar cast that also included Meryl Streep and Tom Cruise. Garfield's performance in LIONS FOR LAMBS is especially noteworthy since it came so soon on the heels of BOY A. In BOY A, he played a shy, nervous, sweetly naive, damaged, working-class British lad; in LIONS FOR LAMBS, he does a 180 and plays a cocky, restless, jaded, sharply intelligent, upper-class American fraternity president. And the sharp contrast between the two performances is remarkable - it's as if we are watching two different actors. Such is the chameleonic power of Andrew Garfield.

He then went on to critical acclaim, continuing to play vastly different characters in THE IMAGINARIUM OF DR. PARNASSUS, NEVER LET ME GO, RED RIDING 1974, and THE SOCIAL NETWORK - for which he was nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor as Eduardo Saverin, the real-life co-founder of Facebook. There are those who say that Garfield was robbed of an Oscar nomination for THE SOCIAL NETWORK because of his relative youth. Some say that young, extremely talented performers are often overlooked at the Oscars on crowded years because the Academy figures they have their whole career to make their mark. The fact of the matter is Garfield should've been nominated for his bravura turn in THE SOCIAL NETWORK. Even without the awards he deserved, however, Garfield's consistently stellar work since BOY A allowed him to snatch the coveted role of Peter Parker/Spiderman away from over a dozen contenders, some more veteran and well-known than him. That takes true talent - and BOY A established Garfield as a rare and genuine talent.

BOY A is even more remarkable considering it is Garfield's first major film - and he has a very tricky character play. Eric Wilson/Jack Burridge has a dark past with a terrible crime lurking somewhere within it, but we have to be able to not just sympathize with him, but also empathize to an almost empathic level. There are those who say that the reason we end up siding with Jack so much is because director John Crowley (adapting from the best-selling novel by Jonathan Trigell) carefully parcels out only little slivers or information concerning Jack's crime - but keeps the majority of it hidden until towards the end. While he is holding those narrative cards close to his chest, we are getting to know Jack and see his attempts to start a new life by starting a new job, making new friends, be mentored by a loving father figure, and discovering romantic love for the first time. So much so, that by the time we find out in the third act the full story about Jack's crime, we have become so emotionally invested in his path to redemption, that it is impossible to lose any love for him.

While I agree that this tactic employed by Crowley to build sympathy and empathy for Jack is indeed clever and partly responsible for the degree to which care for Jack so much, the primary reason we become willing participants in his journey is because of the actor who plays him - Andrew Garfield. Few performers today have the emotional transparency that Garfield has - with complex emotions and thoughts visibly rippling across his face like wind on water. The only other person acting today whom I've seen with this quality is Julia Roberts. That phrase "a face with a language of its own" was coined for Andrew Garfield and Julia Roberts.

From the very opening moment of BOY A, where Jack is getting his pre-release briefing from Terry (Peter Mullan), he hooks us in with one look. Jack is staring at Terry with the open trust and wide-eyed innocence of a child, and the way Garfield plays this scene immediately gives us an "in" to this character. Then, barely a minute later, Jack receives a gift from Terry and reacts in the way of someone who has not known much kindness in life. Garfield not only uses his beautifully expressive face to convey Jack's inner workings - he also uses his body language to tell a story like any great actor should.

Watch the shy, shaky way he hugs Terry: it says more about their relationship than words ever could. Jack has a certain nervous, bouncy, yet affable energy that underscore his vulnerability. Also, watch the scene at the dance club (my favorite scene) where someone tricks Jack into taking Ecstacy: this leads to Jack dancing up a storm in an euphoric fever. He doesn't have to worry about the past. He doesn't have to worry about the present. He doesn't have to worry about the future. He can just be. Great, great scene that plays with purely images and action - and no words. Garfield sells this scene by letting Jack's vibrant body language tell the story.

This coltish, puppy-like quality easily wins him friends at his new job and the attentions of the receptionist, Michelle (Katie Lyons), whose straightforward bluntness both intimidates and intrigues him. But Michelle's sarcastic exterior belies a huge, generous heart underneath, and she instantly recognizes the lost soul under Jack's sweet exterior. And just like that, an unlikely romance is born.

Unfortunately, the past cannot stay buried, and Jack's secret past eventually comes calling. Another theme of BOY A is how the smallest gestures can have significant consequences, for good or bad. In separate scenes, Terry and Michelle give Jack special gifts and presents, which give him joy and helps him lower his guard. Terry's unfailing loyalty to Jack is what inspires him to succeed with his new life, to make Terry proud. And part of that new life is to form a solid relationship with a girl - Michelle. Michelle's open heart and generous nature triggers Jack's desire to tell her about his past - so that he can share everything with her. However, Terry strictly warns him that he must never do this. He must forget the past, Terry says, and move on. Ironically, however, in a slip of the tongue to his own son Zeb (David Murphy) while they are drinking, Terry triggers the events that will make it impossible for Jack to move on - and lead to the film's wrenching finale. Ultimately, BOY A is a moving tapestry of actions and gestures that trigger more actions and gestures, which trigger even more actions and gestures - which ultimately lead to an inevitable and inescapable destination.

In the end, though, BOY A is a movie that you have to feel. Structurally and technically, it is not perfect. Emotionally and artistically, however, there is no better film out there that examines the true nature of good, evil, love, loyalty, friendship, and forgiveness. Andrew Garfield is absolutely wonderful - and so is his stellar supporting cast. And I am proud to call BOY A my favorite movie of all time.

In closing, I present to you my favorite scene from BOY A: the dance scene where Jack is truly happy and unconcerned about what is behind and what lies in front of him. For just a few minutes, he is truly free:




And Andrew Garfield winning the Best Actor Award at the 2008 BAFTA Awards in London, England:




Then being interviewed backstage a few minutes later:

SPOTLIGHT ON: Top Ten BOND GIRLS...

Hello, folks... Please note that our final Summer review, the amazing BOY A, will post tomorrow, along with our Fall Movie 2012 Season Schedule. Sorry for the delay, but we've been trying to enjoy the End of Summer with much wine-imbibing.

For now, we kick off our autumn-long 50th Anniversary Celebration of the James Bond Franchise. Yup, 50 years ago in 1962, the very first Bond film, DR. NO, was released - and changed the face of cinema forever. The Bond Series has become the most successful and longest-running franchise in film history. And with the release of SKYFALL (the 23rd Bond film) in November, the tradition is going strong.

Tonight, we celebrate the Women of Bond. When Ursula Andress as Honey Ryder rose out of the sea in DR. NO decades ago, an iconic archetype was born. My favorite thing about these movies are the female characters and how they impact the stories. Whether brunette, blonde, or redhead, these characters are more than the "bimbos" they were once unfairly thought to be - and are now being
recognized as some of the strongest and most atypical female roles to grace the silver screen.

Without further ado, we present to you our TOP 10 BOND WOMEN, counting down to # 1....


10. Tiffany Case

PLAYED BY: Jill St. John

STARRED IN: DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1971)

PROFESSION: American jewel smuggler who crosses paths - and libidos - with James Bond (Sean Connery). Watch out.

WHAT SHE BRINGS TO THE TABLE: Some trademark Yankee attitude - the kind of no-bullshit straightforwardness that all the American Bond Girls (Christmas Jones, Pam Bouvier, Bibi Dahl, Holly Goodhead) in the pantheon seem to have in abundance. Except Ms. Case unleashed it first. In fact, we think of her as Christmas Jones-Without-The-PhD, or Pam Bouvier-With-Bigger-Tits. She may not be as rough-and-tumble as Dr. Jones or Pammy B., but she has undeniable sex appeal and a disarming sassiness to her.

BEST SCENE: Giving a bratty kid the what-for in Las Vegas. Take that, you stupid punk.

FATE: Survives.

TRIVIA: Tiffany is so-named because her mother went into labor in the middle of the famous store - and gave birth to her right there. Could be worse. She could've been born in the middle of another store: somehow, I think K-Mart Case or Bloomingdale's Case just doesn't have the same ring, no?

9. Dr. Christmas Jones

PLAYED BY: Denise Richards

STARRED IN: THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH (1999)
PROFESSION: American nuclear physicist from the International Decommissioning Agency working on cleaning up some Russian nuclear bunkers in Kazakhstan. She correctly deduces that Bond (Pierce Brosnan) is impersonating a visiting Russian scientist, but in blowing the whistle on him, she allows baddie henchman Renard (Robert Carlyle) to escape with a nuclear warhead. Ooops. Right idea, wrong time, girl. As a result, she teams up with Bond to right her wrong.
WHAT SHE BRINGS TO THE TABLE: The character of Christmas Jones is probably the most underrated and unfairly maligned Bond Girl in the pantheon - mainly due to the fact that she is played by Denise Richards. Hello - this is the Bond Universe: she's supposed to be improbably gorgeous. The truth is, the character is refreshingly contemporary and capable - and Richard plays her reasonably well. Smart, sassy, and decisive, Dr. Jones is a valuable ally whose technical savvy comes in very handy - and she saves Bond on more than one occasion. Plus, the accessible presence of twentysomething hottie Richards balances out the more "pedigreed" players like Brosnan, Carlyle, and Sophie Marceau as Lead Villain Elektra King. She may not get the showcase that Natalya Simonova got in GOLDENEYE, but she was never supposed to: THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH was meant to be about Bond, Elektra, Renard, and M - with Christmas a more secondary role providing valuable support to Bond.
BEST SCENE: Christmas using her brains and hands to get herself out of a sealed missile bunker - and later saving Bond from a hurtling fireball. And also the scene where Bond unleashes some byzantine gobbledygook on her. Her response: "You want to put that in English for those of us who don't speak 'Spy'?" Ha ha. Got him.
FATE: Survives.
TRIVIA: Natasha Henstridge, Daryl Hannah, and even Victoria Beckham ("Posh Spice") were reportedly considered for the role of Christmas Jones. Another rumor was that Sophie Marceau herself, who ended up playing Elektra, was considered for the role of Christmas when Sharon Stone was being eyed for the
lead role. Also, in the first draft of the script, Christmas was originally an insurance investigator on the same trail as Bond. However, the studio asked the writers to change this when Brosnan signed up for THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR remake, which was slated to be released a few months before THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH. Reason? The heroine of THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR is an insurance investigator - and the studio were concerned about duplication. Hence, Christmas became a nuclear physicist.

8. Paris Carver

PLAYED BY: Teri Hatcher
STARRED IN: TOMORROW NEVER DIES (1997)
PROFESSION: She is the American socialite wife of international media tycoon (and villain) Elliott Carver (Jonathan Pryce) - and one of James Bond's (Pierce Brosnan) myriad exes. Awkward...
WHAT SHE BRINGS TO THE TABLE: A cool poise and subtle vulnerability. Paris has only a few scenes, but Hatcher makes the most of her limited screen time, giving Paris complexity and dimension with a few skillful non-verbals and gestures. Watch how she ignores Bond or treats him with icy aloofness when they are together - but covers up for him and protects him from Elliott when the shit hits the fan. The concern on Paris' face as Elliott sends his goons after Bond pretty much tell us she still loves him. Solid acting from Hatcher. I can't help but wonder how much stronger TOMORROW NEVER DIES would've been if Paris and her past relationship with Bond would've been the emotional center - instead of a sub-plot. A real missed-opportunity for the franchise.
BEST SCENE: Paris risking her life to go to Bond's hotel suite to warn him that Elliott is going after him - but also to find out why he disappeared on her long ago. The answer? Because he fell for her. Love this scene.
FATE: Dies. Killed by her husband's goons for being loyal to Bond and protecting him.
TRIVIA: Brosnan and Hatcher reportedly did not get along during filming. Brosnan also reportedly wanted Italian former model Monica Belluci (TEARS OF THE SUN, THE MATRIX RELOADED) for the role of Paris - but the producers wanted a popular American actress. Also, Paris was much less likable in the original drafts of the screenplay. In the final shooting script and film, she was rewritten to be a much more sympathetic character - and Hatcher plays her well this way.

7. Melina Havelock

PLAYED BY: Carole Bouquet
STARRED IN: FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (1981)
PROFESSION: Half-British/Half-Greek fashion model whose father is an underwater archaeologist that was murdered because of a Top Secret salvage operation he was spearheading for Her Majesty's Secret Service. Melina continues the scuba diving operation herself and also swears revenge on his assassin, and tracks him down to a Spanish resort. There, she finds him wearing some godawful early-80's swimming trunks - and thankfully kills him. Then Bond (Roger Moore) shows up - and all hell REALLY breaks loose.
WHAT SHE BRINGS TO THE TABLE: Melina has a smoldering dark beauty and a quiet intensity that makes her completely believable as a woman determined to avenge her parents' murders. She also wields a crossbow like nobody's business. Bouquet's cool, feline, slightly exotic looks are the perfect contrast for her character's hard-boiled, relentless nature. All in all, not someone you'd want to piss off.
TRIVIA: Actress Carole Bouquet reportedly couldn't swim because of an ear condition, and since her character Melina is a scuba diver, the production team had to "fake" the underwater scenes using body doubles. For Bouquet's underwater close-ups, the team reportedly filmed above water, using slow motion and fans to blow her hair to simulate "floating" and an underwater "look."

6. Tatiana Romanova

PLAYED BY: Daniela Bianchi
STARRED IN: FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE (1963)
PROFESSION: Russian cryptography clerk stationed in Istanbul who is recruited by the sinister Rosa Klebb (Lotte Lenya) to act as bait and set a trap for our boy James Bond (Sean Connery) - except she falls in love with him. Gosh, I hate it when that happens...
WHAT SHE BRINGS TO THE TABLE: Tatiana is cut from the same cloth as Kara Milovy from THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (1987) - a fellow Russian who is just an ordinary girl going about her business when she gets pulled into the whole spy game, and falls for Bond. In line with the early 60's, Tatiana is a more passive Bond Girl than the ones who would come later, but Italian actress Bianchi plays her with a charming mix of innocence and wistfulness that makes her a refreshingly human and complex heroine. And she ultimately saves the day at the very end by rescuing Bond from certain death at the hands of Rosa. Go, Tati!
BEST SCENE: Tatiana's introduction scene with Bond: she sneaks into his hotel room, slides into his bed - totally naked - and surprises him when he comes into the room. Boner Alert! And also the scene at the end where she blasts a hole into that Rosa Klebb. Finally. Bitch...
FATE: Survives.
TRIVIA: Tatiana's bedroom scene with Bond is the standard audition piece that the Bond producers use when testing new, potential James Bond actors.

5. Pam Bouvier

PLAYED BY: Carey Lowell
STARRED IN: LICENCE TO KILL (1989)
PROFESSION: American ex-Army pilot and CIA operative who is the sole surviving informant on feared South American drug czar Franz Sanchez (Robert Davi). She teams up with Bond (Timothy Dalton), who is on a mission of vengeance after Sanchez attacks and maims his best friend Felix Leiter (David Hedison). Together, Bond and Pam head South of the Border to take down Sanchez - and find some decent tacos and cervezas along the way. Ay, papi!
WHAT SHE BRINGS TO THE TABLE: Like Christmas and Tiffany, Pam is your typical loud-and-sassy American - and she packs a mean shotgun, too. Carey Lowell gives Pam a potent combo of sexy in-your-face attitude and intelligence, with some welcome girlishness. While her relationship with Bond doesn't have the same touching quality as Kara Milovy's (Maryam D'Abo) from the THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS, it was also never meant to since LICENCE TO KILL is a meaner, grittier Bond film. Plus, Pam paved the way for the more assertive and take-charge chicks of the Brosnan and Craig eras.
BEST SCENE: Pam's introduction scene to Bond at the Barrelhead Bar on the island of Bimini. Let's just hope that the owner has some good insurance. Also, the finale of the film where Pam flies a plane over Bond and Sanchez's racing tanker trucks - like some sort of guardian angel (with a crop duster). Then there's the scene where Pam flashes some leg to skeezy charlatan Professor Joe (Wayne Newton). Let's just say that the term "racehorse legs" was invented for Carey Lowell's gams.
FATE: Survives.
TRIVIA: A former Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren model, the normally sleek and elegant Lowell went to her audition wearing jeans and a leather jacket to mimic Pam's rough-and-tumble, tomboyish persona. It worked - she got the part. Go, girl.... She went on to star on several seasons of LAW AND ORDER.

4. Camille Montes

PLAYED BY: Olga Kurylenko
STARRED IN: QUANTUM OF SOLACE (2008)
PROFESSION: Half-Russian/Half-Bolivian secret service agent who goes rogue in an effort to infiltrate baddie Dominic Greene's (Matthieu Amalric) nefarious organization - and gain access to the slimy fat bastard who killed her parents when she was a child. So she can pop a cap in his corpulent ass. Then Bond (Daniel Craig) shows up - and all hell REALLY breaks loose. Again.
WHAT SHE BRINGS TO THE TABLE: Like Melina Havelock (Carole Bouquet) from FROM YOUR EYES ONLY, Camille is also hell-bent on revenge for her parents's deaths and is every bit as unstoppable and relentless. Kurylenko brings a slinky, crafty, cat-like grace coupled with a tremulous vulnerability that makes this role the best of the "Female Bond" heroines. Camille is interesting not just because of her resourcefulness, intelligence, cunning, and skill - but also because of her fragility and weaknesses. Watch for the scene at the end where she is paralyzed by the sight of approaching flames in a burning hotel - and flashes back to the death of her parents. Great scene that Kurylenko and Craig play well.
BEST SCENE: Camille confessing to Bond what happened to her parents while they are both trapped in a sinkhole. Also, the aforementioned scene in the hotel fire. Then there's the scene where Camille crashes Greene's party and basically ruins his fundraising activities.
FATE: Survives.
TRIVIA: Victoria's Secret model Adriana Lima reportedly auditioned for this role, as well as Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model Jessica Gomes. But Kurylenko, herself a former model, won the part from hundreds of other actresses when she wowed the producers with her audition. Also, Camille was originally meant to be full Bolivian, but the producers were so impressed by Kurylenko that they incorporated her real-life Ukrainian heritage into the script and made the character a half-breed.

3. Teresa "Tracy" DiVicenzo

PLAYED BY: Diana Rigg
STARRED IN: ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE (1969)
PROFESSION: Rich heiress daughter of an Italian Count. Fun-loving, brazen, and unpredictable party animal/playgirl whom Bond rescues from drowning - kicking off a long game of cat-and-mouse that has got to be one of the sexiest courtships ever to be captured on film. Now that is seduction...
WHAT SHE BRINGS TO THE TABLE: Tracy has a playful, intelligent recklessness and audacity that is both sexy and disarming. She also has the distinction of being the only Bond Girl to, believe it or not, actually marry James Bond (George Lazenby). If you're going to have a woman capture an inveterate poonhound like him, there better be something amazing and special about her. In Diana Rigg's hands, Tracy is an endlessly fascinating character, with many different colors. Even when she's in potential "damsel-in-distress" scenes, Rigg makes Tracy seems completely in control and have the bad guys eating out of her hands with her alluring charm and smarts. Even when she is being victimized, she refuses to be a victim - which is far more interesting than an invulnerable superwoman. Just like many of the other Bond Girls in this list, it's not just Tracy's strengths that make her interesting - it's also her imperfections and weaknesses. Great character.
BEST SCENE: Bond proposing to Tracy. Period.
FATE: Sadly, killed by Bond's arch-nemesis Blofeld after their wedding at the end. Heartbreaking.
TRIVIA: When crafting the character of the enigmatic Elektra King in THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, the producers reportedly instructed the writers to use Tracy DiVicenzo as a template: a strong, passionate, determined, outspoken, talented woman whom Bond is irresistibly drawn to. The only difference is, Elektra ultimately turned out to be a villain. The producers felt that it was important that Elektra be similar to Tracy so we can understand why he would fall for her so fast. Or as lead producer Barbara Broccoli said about Elektra: "Bond thinks he's found Tracy again - but she's really Blofeld..."

2. Kara Milovy

PLAYED BY: Maryam D'Abo
STARRED IN: THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (1987)
PROFESSION: Russian cellist who is conned by mentor Georgi Koskov (Jeroen Krabbe) into helping him defect to the West, only to betray her and set her up to be assassinated. Thank goodness, then, for James Bond (Timothy Dalton), who basically becomes her guardian angel as they embark on a trans-Continental race to stop Koskov and his dumbass cohorts from doing whatever the hell they're supposed to be doing.
WHAT SHE BRINGS TO THE TABLE: A sweet naivete that is also limned by resilience and spunkiness. While she is not as "kick-ass" as Camille Montes and other "Female Bond"-type of heroines, Kara is a very relatable heroine whose shoes we can imagine walking in. In short, she is that classic Hitchockian archetype: an ordinary person caught in extraordinary circumstances. Maryam D'Abo uses Kara's vulnerability and fragility to enhance the character's appeal and strength. Her relationship with Bond also gives THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS a solid emotional center that only a few other films in the franchise have achieved.
BEST SCENE: Kara's introductory scenes where she poses as a KGB sniper trying to help Koskov escape - then later when Bond meets her upclose and we find out she's nothing like we initially thought.
FATE: Survives.
TRIVIA: Maryam D'Abo was originally just hired to read lines opposite the potential replacements for Roger Moore, who was stepping down after A VIEW TO A KILL (1985). However, the producers were so impressed with her "performance" that they offered her a chance to actually audition for the lead role of Kara Milovy. Also, THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS is the only Bond film where there is only one Main Bond Girl - which contributes considerably to the film's atypically romantic feel, something that only a few other movies in the series possess.

.




AND OUR # 1 BOND GIRL OF ALL TIME....



1. Natalya Simonova

PLAYED BY: Izabella Scorupco
STARRED IN: GOLDENEYE (1995)
PROFESSION: High-level Russian computer programmer who luckily survives an attack that kills all of her colleagues at an isolated satellite tracking station. She escapes from the wreckage of the station, makes her way back to civilization, and discovers that the only person she can trust is a lil' guy named James Bond (Pierce Brosnan), who is tracking down a mysterious baddie named Janus (Sean Bean) who may have stolen a deadly technology from Natalya's station to incite a global financial meltdown. Oh, wait... that just actually happened. Yup, you guessed it: all hell REALLY breaks loose.
WHY SHE'S # 1: Courage, resourcefulness, humor, emotion, and some real gumption. What's great about Natalya is how much solo screentime she gets away from Bond. We meet her waaaaaaaaay before she crosses paths with Bond. By the time she encounters him, she's already survived and endured so much on her own. Izabella Scorupco nails this role and kicks it into the net. She makes Natalya into the perfect example of my favorite kind of Bond Girl: "The Ordinary Girl." Essentially, this kind of character is someone who gets tossed into the deep end and must really step up to stay alive. Needless to say, she does. Natalya, like Kara Milovy from THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS, acts as our "eyes" and "ears" into the story. Essentially, we walk in their shoes - and Izabella Scorupco makes Natalya's journey an exhilaratingly exciting one. Best Bond Girl - ever.
BEST SCENE: Pretty much any scene she's in. But if we had to pick, it would be the attack scene on the satellite tracking station that changes Natalya's world forever.
FATE: Survives.
TRIVIA: In the original drafts of the GOLDENEYE script, Natalya was named "Marina." Also, supermodels Paulina Porizkova and Elle MacPherson were offered the role, but thankfully turned it down - I just can't see anyone else playing this part as perfectly as Izabella Scorupco. Go, girl....

So... with the release of SKYFALL in November, we will be getting two new Bond Girls: (1) the tough field agent named Eve (Naomie Harris), and (2) the mysterious half-French/half-Chinese femme fatale named Severine (Berenice Marlohe). Will they land a place in our Top Ten Bond Girl List?

Time will tell. For now, please expect BOY A to post tomorrow, as well as our Fall Movie 2012 Schedule. And later on in the Fall, we will have more TOP 10 Bond Lists: Best Movies, Best Villains, and Best Songs.

Buona serata, folks....

In closing, please see some YouTube vids commemorating the history of 007's Girls:





Ciao ciao...

MOVIE MUSIC TRACK OF THE WEEK: TITANIC and "My Heart Will Go On..."

Evening, folks. Hope everyone had a terrific weekend and soaked up the sun wherever in the World you may be. Unfortunately, weekends always have to come to an end.

Fortunately, this weekend segues into an important week. You see, tomorrow is September 10. And September 10, 2012 is when TITANIC will be finally released on Blu-Ray. But not just Blu-Ray: 3-D Blu-Ray, which will bring this already larger-than-life shipboard romance/adventure leaping off our screens. Those of us with 3-D televisions, that is. But even in 2-D, this is still one of my favorite movies. And if you remove the whole "iceberg-shipwreck-disaster" angle, this movie is basically the story of how a friend's parents met... Love it.

To commemorate TITANIC's Blu-Ray release, our Movie Music Track Of The Week is, of course, Celine Dion's Academy Award-winning theme song for the film, "My Heart Will Go On." But we're also going to highlight some tracks from James Horner's original score for TITANIC, which also won an Oscar in 1997. Horner's score is often overlooked because most folks focus on "My Heart Will Go On" (which, obviously, is a great song). The fact remains, though, that TITANIC's rousing score is also one of the reasons the movie is such an exhilarating cinematic experience. Horner's multi-layered music perfectly captures all the levels of this movie, which is an action film, a thriller, and a romance - all at the same time...



Please expect our last Summer Review - the wonderful, heartbreaking BOY A - to post by Tuesday. Then we end our Summer Movie Season 2012 by giving out some Awards of our own to the films we've reviewed - before kickstarting our Fall Movie Season 2012 line-up.

A sneak peek at BOY A, with the amazing, amazing Andrew Garfield. Here's to saving the best Summer Review for last:

For now, please be carried away by the music of TITANIC...

First, the theme for the film's heroine: "Rose" composed by James Horner...




Next, the music that plays over the Titanic's departure from England on its fateful trip: "Leaving Port" composed by James Horner...




Then, the pulse-pounding cues that play over as the passengers realize the ship is sinking: "A Building Panic" composed by James Horner...



And, finally, the music that plays over scenes where Jack and Rose risk their lives for each other's safety: "Unable To Stay, Unwilling To Leave" composed by James Horner...




And, of course, Celine Dion's masterful song. The song is wonderful overall, but our favorite part is everything after 3:16 - when the song really comes to life. The version that exists on the TITANIC Original Score CD (this one) has a more soaringly powerful finale than other versions (like the Celine Dion albums). Enjoy:




Buona Notte, folks... Come sei bella dentro e fuori...

# 479 - THE LOSS OF A TEARDROP DIAMOND (2008)

THE LOSS OF A TEARDROP DIAMOND (2008 - ROMANCE / DRAMA) *** out of *****

(Chris Evans goes the PRETTY WOMAN/DEUCE BIGALOW route - crowd goes wild...)




CAST: Bryce Dallas Howard, Chris Evans, Ann-Margaret, Ellen Burstyn, Will Patton, Jessica Collins, Mammie Gunner.

DIRECTOR: Jodie Markell

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one smokin'-hot male escort who doesn't realize he's a male escort - straight ahead...




IT'S LIKE THIS: A couple of years ago, there was a movie in pre-production called SATISFACTION with Chris Evans slated to star. He was supposed to play a male escort who falls in love with one of his clients - a woman about a dozen years older than him. They begin an affair that takes them to London and Rome where, I'm certain, the script would have them fuck each other so much and so hard that they had zero energy left to walk around and check out Piccadily Circus or the Colloseum. Which I totally understand. Screw the tourist attractions - I can buy a goddamned postcard. Get into that Pizza Delivery Man costume again, you dirty boy... Anyway, I was as happy as a cat in a crowded fish bowl when I heard about this movie - and immediately called my agent (who also doubles as my DVD Pimp, cat sitter, astrologist, and all-around punching bag) and told him to get me an audition for the role of Chris's love interest in SATISFACTION.

"But... you're a... dude," the goober replied.

"I don't give a fuck," I shot back. "Didn't you see THE CRYING GAME? It all worked out in the end, and I've got better legs than Jaye Davidson. Someone once said I had 'race horse legs' - whatever the fuck that is - and someone else said he wanted to photograph them, so I just KNOW that I would ROCK a miniskirt! Chris and I would burn up that screen with our chemistry. And I would WRAP my "race horse legs" around him - TIGHT. So. Get. Me. That. AUDITION!!! NOW!!!!"

And who could blame me for being so motivated? With SATISFACTION being about a male escort, chances were great that Chris - AKA Mr. Hairy Pecs, would spend most of the movie walking around looking like this:





or like this...




and like this...




perhaps like this...




and even like this...




My it's gettin' hot in here....

(Excuse me while I take a cold shower....

....Okay, I'm back)


Unfortunately, before my Agent / DVD Pimp / Catsitter / Punching Bag could get off his lazy ass and do anything, the production on SATISFACTION hit a snag and Chris left the project to do THE AVENGERS or something. From what I understand, SATISFACTION is now in that lovely purgatory known in the industry as "turnaround." Which means it probably won't get made for awhile now - if ever. Which means by the time it does get the greenlight again, Chris will be too old for the role - and it will have to go to Justin Bieber or one of the Jonas brothers. Gag me with a scuba tank.

No worries, though, because even though SATISFACTION got stuck in studio quicksand, those of us jonesing for Chris E. to play a ManWhore can still get our fix. You see, Mr. Hairy Pecs starred in the 2008 romantic drama THE LOSS OF A TEARDROP DIAMOND. The script is by the late famed playwright Tennessee Williams and is about farm laborer Jimmy Dobyne (Mr. Hairy Pecs Evans) who pimps himself out to a rich, icy, sarcastic heiress Fisher Willow (Bryce Dallas Howard), accompanying her to a bunch of parties and galas and shindigs, and generally walking around looking like the sizzlin'-hot eye candy that he is. The major differences between THE LOSS OF A TEARDROP DIAMOND and SATISFACTION are the following: (1) this movie is set in the Deep South in the 1920's, (2) Fisher is about the same age as Jimmy, and (3) we never get to see her go down on him in the middle of the Pantheon in Rome. Which, I'm sure, is a scene in SATISFACTION's script. Or am I degenerate who is having some flashbacks of my life in Italy?

Whatever. Anyway, it all starts when our smart-assy, feisty heroine Fisher returns to Bumfuck, Mississippi (or wherever the hell that place is supposed to be) after years in Paris and Italy. Now, I don't have to tell you that a worldly chick like Fisher who's traveled the Globe, pretty much fits in her hometown the way Anna Wintour would at a square-dance. So why the fuck would she return? Ever? Apparently, she's trying to please her rich Auntie Cornelia (Ann-Magret) so the old cow won't cut her out of the will. But considering that Fisher is pretty rich to begin with (rich grandfather, ahem), I don't know why she just doesn't tell the hag to take a hike off a cliff - then return to Europe for good. Well, I guess if she did, then there wouldn't be a movie, would there? And we wouldn't get to see Mr. Hairy Pecs aw-shucks-ing his way up and down the street, looking like this...



... would we? Well, alrighty then.

Which brings me to Mr. Hairy Pecs, er, Chris, er, Jimmy. Seems Jimmy has caught Fisher's eye - and she makes him a proposition: the parties and balls and galas full of boring provincial dullards would be a lot less excruciating if he were too, um, "escort" her to them. She will pay for his clothes. She will pay for this time. She will pay for his company. She will pay for his pecs. She will pay for his penis. Okay, I just inserted those last two conditions. But you know Fisher's been thinking about it. For crying out loud, the bitch spent time in Italy and, by her own admission, almost married a hot Guido in Venice. Put simply, the girl is a Grade-A Freak. And I, for one, am very proud of her. Especially when she finally finishes Jimmy's PRETTY WOMAN-style makeover - and we first catch a glimpse of him in a tux. Girlfriend knows exactly what she's doing:



Exactly.

Unfortunately, Jimmy and Fisher's "arrangement" hits a snag when they go to a fateful Halloween party thrown by Julie (Mammie Gummer), an old college friend of Fisher's. For starters, the following things happen: (1) Jimmy's trashy ex-squeeze Vinnie (Jessica Collins) shows up and starts rubbing up on him like she's a stripper and he's the pole; (2) Fisher meets Julie's Aunt Addie (Ellen Burstyn), a fellow world traveler like Fisher who is now dying of some unspecified terminal illness - and who shares some valuable life lessons with Fisher; and (3) Fisher loses one of the valuable teardrop diamonds that Aunt Cornelia loaned her. I bet you were starting to wonder why this fucking movie was titled the way it was, and not CHRIS EVANS: SMOKIN' HOT MAN MEAT, right? Well, there you go....

How will this night end? Will Jimmy and Fisher's relationship survive? Will it strengthen their bond and take them to the next level? Or will that low-class tramp Vinnie scheme her way between them? What happens when Fisher discovers a kindred spirit in the dying Aunt Addie? Will they have enough time to bond before Aunt Addie dies? And what happens when Aunt Addie asks for Fisher's help with an assisted suicide? And what about that missing teardrop diamond? Who took it? Vinnie? Jimmy? Julie? Or is it Fisher herself? Who will have a "Happy Ending?" Will Fisher and Jimmy just admit that they love each other already so we can all go home? Who will make the first move to meet the other one halfway? Someone fucking do something!

Whatever. All I want to know is who will play the lead in SATISFACTION when it finally gets made. I would prefer that Mr. Hairy Pecs Evans re-board the production, but I will be happy with any actor - as long as it ain't this guy:



Some things you just can't un-see. You're welcome.

BUT, SERIOUSLY: Within the Romance and Romantic Comedy Genres, there is a sub-category known as "The Business Arrangement That Becomes Something More." Basically, this formula has two immutable elements: (1) two people who don't get along either conspire to pretend they're in a relationship, or enter into a contract to do so, for their own respective gains; only to end up (2) actually falling in love with each other, not only violating their agreement, but also complicating things considerably. We've seen this premise in such films as CAN'T BUY ME LOVE, PRETTY WOMAN, GREEN CARD, THE PROPOSAL, LIFE AS WE KNOW IT, and the unfortunately-delayed SATISFACTION.

Now, we have THE LOSS OF A TEARDROP DIAMOND, which probably has a more lofty pedigree than others of its ilk. The story is based on a "lost" screenplay by late playwright Tennessee Williams, and tackles what happens when a nonconformist heiress returns to her Tennessee hometown from living in Europe - and must deal with narrow-minded gossips and jealous rivals. Along the way, she hires a local farm hand to be her "escort" for the social season. As with the other films we mentioned, love unexpectedly blossoms. But is THE LOSS OF A TEARDROP DIAMOND's provenance as an obscure story by one of America's most esteemed writers enough to make it better than the pack?

Not really. The problem is the odd structure of the story. For most of the first act and the second act, we're not entirely sure if we are watching a love story or a straightforward drama. While most films in this sub-genre do spend the first part of the story establishing a business-like tone between the leads, that tone should soon begin to melt as intimacy and familiarity begin to grow. The best moments of GREEN CARD, PRETTY WOMAN, and THE PROPOSAL were about the feuding leads slowly learning more about each other - then growing to first respect then eventually like and finally love the other. In THE LOSS OF A TEARDROP DIAMOND, we don't get as many of those "thawing" scenes. There are only a couple of sequences where Fisher and Jimmy truly lower their guards: (1) an early scene where Fisher takes over a dance floor and joyfully kicks up a storm, while Jimmy watches appreciatively; and (2) a riverside moment before the Halloween party that not only effectively sets up the beautiful ending scene later - but also helps solidify their bond as a couple, somewhat. Still, a few more scenes like these would've given the genuine sense of growing romance that was so present (and necessary) in the other films we mentioned.

Fortunately, Bryce Dallas Howard and Chris Evans deliver solid performances. While their chemistry isn't the most combustible, there is a definite warmth between them. Evans, who is naturally vivacious and funny, tamps down his "sparkle" and brings a grounded reserve to Jimmy that is both appealing and reassuring. His more measured demeanor is a nice contrast to Howard's explosive approach. Jimmy holds back a lot of emotion, especially around those he loves the most, and while it would've been nice to have seen more glimmers underneath his wary surface, I suspect this has more to do with the script than Evans' acting. Of course, another reason the central romance is hindered is because of the story's overemphasis on Jimmy's ties to Vinnie, who ultimately proves to be a far less suitable choice for Jimmy than Fisher.

Speaking of Fisher, Howard seems a bit broad and theatrical in the early goings, but it ultimately seems to be how the character meets the world head-on: with a defiant, flamboyant front. However, at the midpoint of the film, Howard begins to allow Fisher's defenses to fall away, revealing the lost and confused girl underneath - and what started as broad strokes becomes more specific and idiosyncratic. Fisher's unexpected kinship with the dying Aunt Addie (Ellen Burstyn in the film's best performance) is the catalyst for her self-awareness. Like Fisher, Addie has seen the world (she was a travel writer) and doesn't fit in with the community of jealous, close-minded folks around them. Their connection becomes THE LOSS OF A TEARDROP DIAMOND's true emotional center, since the bond between Fisher and Jimmy doesn't really catch fire until the end. Indeed, when viewed primarily as an examination of nonconformist, trailblazing women - and not a conventional romance - the film gains some welcome heft.

Speaking of the ending, it's the second reason (besides Evans, Howard, and Burstyn's performances) that THE LOSS OF A TEARDROP DIAMOND rates above the average mark. The final moment between Fisher and Jimmy is a good example of how to use images and actions to play a scene, and ends the story on a very satisfying note - all the more surprising since the romance between our leads catches fire so late.

Ultimately, for all its flaws, the late Tennessee Williams' script for THE LOSS OF A TEARDROP DIAMOND ties up its threads quite nicely - and delivers an emotionally-rewarding finale. That's more than some films do.