THE STEPFORD WIVES (1975 - MYSTERY / THRILLER / SATIRE) ****1/2 out of *****
(Don't let any of these bitches into my neighborhood...)
CAST: Katharine Ross, Paula Prentiss, Peter Masterson, Patrick O'Neal, Tina Louise, Nanette Newman.
DIRECTOR: Bryan Forbes
WARNING: Some SPOILERS and some seriously scary homemakers - straight ahead...
IT'S LIKE THIS: My favorite TV series when I was growing up was CHARLIE'S ANGELS. The show ran from 1976-1981, and I started watching it as a tiny tot - and was hooked. There was just something about three hot chicks who were also smart, resourceful, and gutsy who did things that were normally only reserved for men during that time period, that just reeled me in. In fact, the best gift anyone ever gave me was all five seasons of CHARLIES'S ANGELS on DVD. I was so happy I literally I pissed myself.
Unfortunately, when I was a kid, CHARLIE'S ANGELS ran every Sunday night in the Southeast Asian nation I grew up in, and this led to some, er, conflicts with Mom. As in: her yelling at me to get my ass to bed because "you're not going to be late one more time for your kindergarten class!" And me yelling back for her to leave me the hell alone or I was going to tell the neighbors how much she really weighs. Or something like that. You have not lived until you've seen a five-year-old threaten an adult with the intensity of Don Corleone about to order a hit - let alone towards his mother.
Finally, I had to have my dad broker a deal with Mommy Dearest to let me stay up an hour later to watch my "girls." Poor Dad was probably proud because of what he thought was me exhibiting an early interest in the "ladies." I was interested, alright. In their clothes and hair styles. And in their handbags. Bottom line: I didn't want to fuck Jaclyn Smith or Kate Jackson - I wanted to be them. Let's just say you also haven't lived until you've seen a kindergartener put the judo-chop Kung-fu moves on his classmates while at the same time yelling "watch my hair, you goon!" Sorry, pops. Thanks for going to bat for me, though.
At any rate, it is interesting to note that while CHARLIE'S ANGELS is my favorite TV show from the 70s, one of my favorite films from the 70s is THE STEPFORD WIVES. I have had friends and acquaintances do a double take upon hearing this. I guess it has to do with the fact that CHARLIE'S ANGELS dared to create a TV show centered around three strong women stepping out of traditional feminine roles during a time when men were taking center stage, while THE STEPFORD WIVES is a thriller that revolved around what happens in a small town where the women are forced to remain passive and conform in those traditional feminine roles. Some people think these shows are as different as night and day. Really, though, they are like Sisters-In-Arms, but THE STEPFORD WIVES is just a darker and more oblique examination of women's lib, male oppression, and female empowerment.
But we'll save that shit for the BUT SERIOUSLY portion of this review. For now, let's discuss the plot of THE STEPFORD WIVES. Our heroine is Joanna Eberhard (Katharine Ross). She is married to Walter Eberhard (Peter Masterson), a Manhattan lawyer who is more focused on making partner than his family. Nevertheless, he decides to move them (and their two kids) to the quaint suburb of, erm, Stepford in nearby Connecticut because it's a better place to raise a family. And, on the surface, it looks like Stepford is indeed a cozy, homey, safe place.
Before long, though, Joanna starts to get a little creeped out by the place. Primarily because the place is a little too picture-perfect. Everything is in order and just as it should be - especially the women. You see, the housewives of Stepford, Connecticut are the textbook definition of "homemakers." All these bitches do are: (1) cook, (2) clean, and (3) talk endlessly and incessantly about cooking and cleaning. Seriously. They don't hang out. They don't go bowling. They don't drool over the milkman or gardener. They don't go to male strip clubs on a Girls Nite Out. They just sit around and get all orgasmic about the new dishwashing detergent and recipe for Mocha Brownies in the latest issue of "Good Housekeeping". Really.
Now, let's examine Joanna. She is not the perfect homemaker. Her house is a little cluttered, but it is not messy. She is a good mother, but knows when to chill out and let her kids get away with shit. She is a good cook, but she doesn't spend her days pouring over cookbooks or magazines. She has other interests beyond cooking and cleaning: she is also an avid photographer and hopes to show her work in a gallery soon. In other words, she's your average housewife. However, in comparison to the rest of the wives of Stepford, she is an alien. Mainly because she, you know, has a fucking life beyond keeping her floors and kitchen counters spotless. You see, in Stepford, the norm for housekeeping is perfection. Which is bad news for Joanna.
Actually, it's bad news for Joanna and her two pals, Bobby Markowe (Paula Prentiss) and Charmaine Wimperis (Tina Louise). Bobby is your typical loud-mouthed firecracker, while Charmaine is your typical sexpot. Bobby could barely give a flying fuck about keeping her house spotless and it always looks like a hurricane hit it, while Charmaine has an uptight German housekeeper to do that pesky cleaning for her. So, much like our trio of heroines in CHARLIE'S ANGELS, Joanna, Bobby, and Charmaine hang out together and behave like normal women. It's not a complete surprise that they end up becoming outcasts to the perfect women of Stepford, who spend all their spare time baking and cooking and scrubbing floors like they are the stars of a commercial for Mr. Clean or Pine-Sol. And Joanna and her pals are just fine with this.
Until Charmaine suddenly… changes. One day, she fires her housekeeper and starts cleaning her whole house herself. Considering that Charmaine used to prefer eating mud over cleaning her house herself, this is a bit perplexing. Now, she acts like the task of scrubbing her floors and perfecting a Lemon Pie is the most fucking important thing in the world – when before she couldn’t give a rat’s ass. Which, frankly, kind of concerns Joanna and Bobby because their friend Charmaine is... no longer their friend Charmaine.
It doesn't help that Joanna and Bobby also find out that the women of Stepford all used to hold power positions and jobs. One used to be a judge. Another was a CEO. Another was a political activist. Then, one by one, they all quit their jobs and decided to become... Betty Crocker. And now that Charmaine has also changed, Bobby and Joanna are getting seriously concerned that something is going on in the seemingly peaceful town of Stepford. Something is happening to its women. Something really, really, really fucked-up.
Then, one day, Joanna goes over to visit Bobby and discovers the most horrifying thing ever in the history of Human Civilization has happened: Bobby's house is spotless and clean - and Bobby herself is walking around her now-sparkling kitchen all coiffed-up like a white Aunt Jemima. In other words: "Hooooooooooly Fucking Shit." In even other words: the only "normal" woman left in Stepford is.... Joanna Eberhard. Uh-oh...
So... what the actual fuck is happening to the women of Stepford? Why are they one-by-one transforming into "The Perfect Housewife"? Why did they all end their lucrative careers to become stay-at-home hausfraus? Is it just a coincidence? Or is it something more sinister? Is it something in the water? Or something else? Are the men and husbands of Stepford somehow involved? And now that Charmaine and Bobby have "changed" and joined the ranks of the The Stepford Wives - is Joanna next?
Run, Joanna. Run.
BUT, SERIOUSLY: One of my favorite novelists is Ira Levin. Levin specializes in thrillers that place ordinary protagonists in increasingly terrifying scenarios and seemingly benign environments that gradually grow threatening. His novels have invariably been turned into films. Some of these movies have been classics (ROSEMARY'S BABY, THE STEPFORD WIVES), some have been strong near-classics (A KISS BEFORE DYING 1956, THE BOYS FROM BRAZIL), and some have been flawed misfires (A KISS BEFORE DYING 1991, SLIVER). However, no matter where they sit on the continuum of classic, near-classic, or misfire, these film adaptations of Levin's books have all shared one common trait: they are all interesting. And one of the most interesting is THE STEPFORD WIVES.
In the opening, we juxtaposed THE STEPFORD WIVES with the 1970s TV show, CHARLIE'S ANGELS. On the surface, these two seem very different. THE STEPFORD WIVES showed women being victimized by the men of a wealthy suburb and transformed into robotic homemakers. CHARLIE'S ANGELS showed empowered women breaking the victim stereotype and fighting for themselves. However, under their disparate surfaces, they both are about female empowerment and the struggles of women in the 1970s to be seen as equals to their male counterparts. THE STEPFORD WIVES just takes a more subtle approach that is ultimately more damning of male oppression. Anyone who sees THE STEPFORD WIVES as Anti-Woman is being very short-sighted and missing the point. It is, in fact, one of the most Pro-Woman films out there.
What's so great about THE STEPFORD WIVES is how it conceals its very trenchant observations on male-female politics, women's liberation, and male authoritarian figures underneath a very taut and suspenseful thriller package. Joanna Eberhard is your classic Ira Levin thriller heroine. Much like Rosemary Woodhouse (Mia Farrow) in ROSEMARY'S BABY and Carly Norris (Sharon Stone) in SLIVER, she is an ordinary woman who moves into a new environment that seems perfect and peaceful - but gradually becomes more and more eerie and sinister, until she realizes that is in mortal danger. For Rosemary, this environment is the gothic and maze-like NYC apartment house that turned out to be filled with black magic-practicing witches. For Carly, it was the sleek "sliver" high-rise that turned out to have a history of mysterious deaths and an elaborate electronic surveillance system that kept tabs on everyone in the building. And for Joanna, it is the small, exclusive Connecticut suburb of Stepford that seems like the perfect place to live - until she gradually realizes that the perfect exterior of the place conceals a very dark secret.
Director Bryan Forbes does a terrific job of gradually turning up the heat. The problem with many thrillers these days is how quickly they yank up the temperature and rush the proceedings. Alfred Hitchcock, the Grand Master of the Suspense Thriller, understood that a thriller is most effective when you first take the time to establish the normalcy of the protagonist's world - then take it apart piece by piece. Modern "thrillers" are so focused on unleashing the thrills and suspense as soon as possible, that we never get a chance to properly the characters and the world they live in. The result: we are not concerned for their welfare or survival. Witness the awful remake of THE STEPFORD WIVES in 2005 with Nicole Kidman - which was presented as a misguided comedy. Or better yet, don't witness it. See the original instead.
Katharine Ross, Paul Prentiss, and Tina Louise are all terrific as Joanna, Bobby, and Charmaine - the last three women of Stepford who are still human. The reason their eventual downfall and conversion to the dark side is so scary to watch, is because the movie has taken the time to sketch and flesh out their friendship. Joanna is the level-headed one, Bobby is the crazy funny one, and Charmaine is the sexy glamorous one - and Ross, Prentiss, and Louise make these women all very vivid, sympathetic, and sisterly. And when they start "changing", one-by-one, it is not only scary. It is also heartbreaking. Especially at the very end, when Joanna finally discovers the "secret" of the men of Stepford - and the reason behind the odd behavior of the Stepford wives. The final shot of the film is, quite frankly, terrifying. But this is the only way this kind of thriller could end effectively. One of the reasons the remake was so terrible is because of its tacked-on "happy ending" that felt thoroughly false.
Peter Masterson, Patrick O'Neal, Nanette Newman, and a very young Mary Stuart Masterson (Peter daughter in this film and real life) are all stellar in important supporting roles. But this film belongs to its three female leads. Katharine Ross, Paula Prentiss, and Tina Louise are the true gems of this film - and much like the trio of heroines in the CHARLIES'S ANGELS TV show, they generate an emotional center and strong rooting interest that makes the audience concerned as to their eventual fates. And that is the mark of a classic thriller.
So... what is the secret of Stepford? What is changing the women into the "The Perfect Housewives"? Found out for yourselves... But don't say we didn't warn you.
