MOVIE RATING SCALE:

***** (Spectacular) 10

****1/2 (Excellent) 9

**** (Very Good) 8

***1/2 (Good) 7

*** (Above Average) 6

**1/2 (Average) 5

** (Below Average) 4

*1/2 (Mediocre) 3

* (Awful) 2

1/2 (Abysmal) 1

0 (Worthless) 0


Sunday, February 22, 2015

# 603 - INDECENT PROPOSAL


INDECENT PROPOSAL (1993 - ROMANCE / DRAMA) ***1/2 out of *****  OR 7 out of 10

(Robert, you could've had me for $99.95 and some room service...)




CAST:  Robert Redford, Demi Moore, Woody Harrelson, Oliver Platt, Seymour Cassell, Billy Bob Thornton, Billy Connolly, Joel Brooks.  

DIRECTOR: Adrian Lyne

(WARNING: Some SPOILERS and one colossal, stupendous, utterly obvious no-brainer of a decision - straight ahead)




IT'S LIKE THIS:  You can tell a lot about a person by the what his/her favorite "Vegas Movie" is.  

If someone likes THE HANGOVER, chances are that person is an inveterate party animal who likes to laugh a lot and is easygoing and is basically a "Dude's Dude" - or a "Dudette's Dudette."  If someone likes OCEAN'S ELEVEN, chances are that person is someone who is kind of "hip" but also mainstream enough to not be too snobbish or, well, too hip.  If someone likes LEAVING LAS VEGAS, they're probably the opposite of the person who likes THE HANGOVER: a little too intellectual, brooding, cerebral, and, well, thinks to goddamn much.  And if someone's favorite "Vegas Movie" is our next review, INDECENT PROPOSAL, they're probably a fucking freak of the highest order.  Make that a "Fah-Reak!"

Folks, it will come as a staggeringly unforeseen, thoroughly unexpected revelation that my favorite Vegas Movie is none other than...  INDECENT PROPOSAL.  I know, right?  Who would've known?  

Whatever.  

Anyhow, INDECENT PROPOSAL is another example of the "Artificial Dilemma/What Exactly Is The Fucking Problem Here? Movie" that we discussed in our last review.  That was the thoroughly crappy THE BOY NEXT DOOR (review # 602), a film that was high in Eye Candy Factor (Ryan Guzman and Jennifer Lopez's asses), but low in Entertainment Quality Factor (unless you count Kristin Chenoweth's shitty haircut as 'entertainment' - meow).  

As we talked about in THE BOY NEXT DOOR, these kind of movies purport to have protagonists with serious problems - but in reality, these chuckleheads should be conga-ing the night away while pouring champagne down their naked torsos and licking it off each other.  Because, folks, these people have got it made.  In THE BOY NEXT DOOR, J. Lo played a fortysomething school teacher who could pass for 20 who begins having a red-hot affair with her hunky young neighbor who is supposedly just 19.  

However, Instead of treating this "pump-and-go-on-the-down-low" for the goldmine godsend that it is, our stupid teacher who looks exactly like Jenny From The Block basically feels "guilty" for fucking someone much younger than her and calls it all off - despite him looking as scrumptious as Ryan Guzman.  Predictably, Mr. Boy Toy doesn't take this lying down, obviously believing in that old saying that goes "If you love something, let it go.  If it comes back to you, then it was always yours to begin with.  If it doesn't come back to you - THEN YOU MAKE ITS LIFE A LIVING HELL UNTIL IT DOES!"

Wait, is that how that saying goes?  Whatever. 

Anyhow, all the trouble that ensues in THE BOY NEXT DOOR could've been avoided if its heroine would've just, you know, realized how lucky she was and, you know, kept on riding her Boy Toy's prime rib tube steak like it was attached to a bucking Bronco.  The same thing befalls the leads of INDECENT PROPOSAL: essentially, they shoot themselves in the foot - big time.   Although, thankfully, at least one of them is using her brain.  

Our leads are the drop-dead gorgeous L.A. couple David and Diana Murphy (Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore).  David is a sweet, sexy, slightly nerdy, blond architect who is building a dream house next to the Pacific in Santa Monica - a project he hopes will get him noticed and lead to other projects.  Diana is a ridiculously-gorgeous raven-haired real-estate agent who supports her man 100% and constantly reminds him that he is destined for greatness.  If you're going to have a  threesome with a couple, David and Diana are your best bets, folks.  I wouldn't know who to fuck first. 

And let me just take a moment to extol the beauty of Demi Moore in this movie.  This woman was never more hypnotically-gorgeous than she was in INDECENT PROPOSAL.   She rocks that raven bob like no one's business.  She even trumps the lovely Sharon Stone from SLIVER (released the same year, two months later) who sported a similar blond bob, albeit a blond one.  As lovely as Shazza was in SLIVER (the best she has ever looked, in my opinion) she somehow can't hold a candle to Demi in INDECENT PROPOSAL.  There's just something so alluring about the right shade of raven hair on a gorgeous woman that no blonde hair (which, let's face it, is most of the time just lightened from a dishwater shade with peroxide) could ever compete with.  Go, Demi!



But I digress.  Anyhow, as INDECENT PROPOSAL starts, it does appear that David and Diana do have some legitimate problems.  The recession of the early 90s has just hit, and the construction & real-estate businesses have dried up, leading to David being laid off and Diana unable to close a sale in months.  This leads to the bank foreclosing on the land David is building his Dream House on.  Soon, it's looking like they could even lose their own house itself.  

Desperate, David borrows $5,000 from his old man - and hightails it to Vegas with Diana to try to turn it into the $50,000 they need to catch up on the property payments and save the land, their Dream House, and their own home from being gobbled up by the bank.  Jeez, David...  why don't you just buy 5,000 lottery tickets?  You've got better odds that way.  All in all, I don't think Vegas is the most sure-fire fundraising idea, folks...

Before you know it, David and Diana have jumped in their junky jalopy and made the few-hour drive from L.A. to Vegas, where they don't waste any time hitting the roulette tables.  For a time, it looks like David's crazy scheme just might work, because soon they have quintupled their five grand to $25,000.  Unfortunately, apparently never having heard that old saying that goes "Quit while you're ahead, assholes" our lovely couple keeps on tossing 'em dice.  It's my great regret to tell you that, sure enough, our hot couple's luck dries up - and they pretty much lose all of the $25,000.  Including the $5,000 they borrowed from David's pops.  Yikes.  

At this point, you're probably all like:  "why are you calling this an 'Artificial Dilemma/What Exactly Is The Fucking Problem Here? Movie' dude? These people actually DO have a dilemma and some serious problems!!!"  Patience, dear reader.  You will soon see what I mean.  

Anyway, it's at this point that a mysterious character who has been keeping mainly to the sidelines and the shadows finally takes center stage - and thankfully finally gets into the action.  He is the cool, sexy, ruthless, intriguing, charming billionaire named John Gage (Robert Redford).   Having noticed Diana with her shiny raven bob, long legs, and big tits when she was stealing chocolates earlier from a hoity-toity boutique (don't ask), Sir John approaches our down-trodden couple and asks if he can have Diana bless his dice for luck - with a kiss.  Reluctantly, Diana complies - and lo & behold when the roll of the cubes nets Sir John a cool million.  Jack-Pot!  Too bad none of that will go to David and Diana.  

Or will it?  

Now, here's where INDECENT PROPOSAL becomes a member of the "Artificial Dilemma/What Exactly Is The Fucking Problem Here? Movie":  Sir John offers David and Diana that million dollars they won for him - if Diana will spend one night with him.  Hilariously, our couple turn him down flat.  I mean, it's not like they just lost all their money and are about to lose their land and houses, right?   Let me just cut to the chase here, folks, and say that I will fuck anyone for a million dollars - whether or not I needed the money.  If that makes me a whore, then yes I'm a whore. 

Diana is apparently of the same mind (thank god) and convinces David that they need to do this in order for them to save everything they own.  She rationalizes it by saying that Sir John will only be using her body - but he won't be touching her heart or her mind.  Ha ha ha.  Good one, Diana.  Clearly, you have no idea how persuasive a few earth-shattering, Geiger-scale-registering orgasms can change you.  There's a reason why it's called "rocking your world."

I hope you know now what I mean when I say that our leads really have no problems, whatsoever.   They've just been offered a million bucks for a one-night-stand between Diana and a billionaire who is sexy as fuck.  Even if Sir John looked like Steve Buscemi or Danny DeVito, we're talking about a million bucks here, folks. Yet, David and Diana fret and furrow and hem and haw like they actually have a hard decision to make.  Right.

Meanwhile, Sir John looks as happy as a cat in a fish market when he learns that Diana has agreed.  Or sure she acts all icy and haughty and assures him she won't enjoy their night, but we know she'll be screeching like a hyena by dawn and barely be able to walk straight.  Hey, man, Johnny boy needs to get his money's worth - and he's only got 12 hours to do it in.  

So...  how will Sir John and Diana's fleeting fuck-a-thon affect her marriage to David.  Will our married couple be able to forget it ever happened - and just enjoy the money it brought them?  What happens when Diana finds out afterwards that John bought up their L.A. property and dream house project?  Is our sexy billionaire manipulating the situation because he wants to draw Diana back into his orbit?  Does he have real feelings for Diana?  And what happens when David gets increasingly jealous and insecure about Diana's "one night" with John?  Can the Murphy marriage be saved?  Was it all worth that million bucks?  

Fuck yeah, it was.  Get over it, David.   And live off the interest...


BUT SERIOUSLY:   In 1993, two films were released by Paramount Pictures within two months of each other that had generated sizable media interest in the months leading to their release: INDECENT PROPOSAL and SLIVER.  Both films had "erotic" elements, but INDECENT PROPOSAL was tamer, and more of a romantic drama, whereas SLIVER was more daring, and definitely a thriller.  Both films were greeted with controversy as they neared their release dates in the Spring of 1993.  

SLIVER had to not only contend with the MPAA over its sex scenes which had to be drastically-edited and watered down to avoid the dreaded NC-17 rating, but also had to undergo script rewrites and extensive re-shoots after a test screening resulted in preview audiences panning the original darker ending in which the heroine (Sharon Stone) crosses over completely to the dark side.  Unfortunately, the new, "safer", more PC-friendly ending that was released in theaters neutered SLIVER and made the whole affair almost pointless.  Because of these last-minute changes that significantly altered the tone and feel of the movie, as well as nonsensically changed the identity of the killer, SLIVER underperformed at the North American box-office - but still made a killing overseas.  

INDECENT PROPOSAL, by contrast, didn't have as much explicit sexuality in it, nor did it have to undergo extensive reshooting.  However, what it lacked in raunch and story revisions, it made up for with the sheer controversy its premise generated.  Many feminist groups objected to the idea of a woman being seduced into one night with a very rich man by a bribe of $1,000,000.  Many labeled the film as "disgusting" and "offensive".  Just like with SLIVER, all this hoopla ensured that INDECENT PROPOSAL would open big at the box-office in the # 1 spot.  

Unlike SLIVER, though, INDECENT PROPOSAL didn't fall off and continued to rake it in.  This is largely because INDECENT PROPOSAL didn't suffer SLIVER's fate of being almost-fatally altered at the last moment.  By contrast, this movie doesn't apologize for its racy premise of a woman spending one night with a billionaire for a million dollars.  I firmly believe the original cut of SLIVER would have fared just as well as INDECENT PROPOSAL at the box-office if Paramount had stood their ground and kept SLIVER's original, uncompromising ending that showed there could be such a thing as a happy resolution that is also dark and sinister.  

INDECENT PROPOSAL works because, at its core, it is a true romance - despite its rather unorthodox set-up.  It also sidesteps that pesky thing that plagues many a romantic drama or romantic comedy: "The Lopsided Love Triangle."  This is a romanic situation wherein a character is torn between to potential lovers - when one is clearly much, much, MUCH better than the other.  This renders the object of affection's confusion and indecision rather pointless and, worse, unbelievable.  In real life, you or I would know exactly who to choose.  

Here, Diana's indecision whether to choose John or David is very credible, since both men are ideal choices in their own way.  While John has a formidable magnetism and charisma that hypnotic and irresistible, he also has wistful, noble melancholy that just stops short of making him truly vulnerable.   By contrast, David has a shyer, more boyish quality that is tempered by real backbone and fire when the occasion warrants it.  Both Robert Redford and Woody Harrelson effectively sell their characters, making Diana's dilemma understandable.  

Speaking of Diana, as I mentioned before, Demi Moore never looked more beautiful than she did in this movie.  Casting Moore was critical because we have to understand why a man as powerful and rich as John Gage - someone who could have any woman he wants - would fall under Diana's spell at first sight.  The role needed someone unforgettably beautiful, but also intriguingly and interestingly complex.  As she proved in GHOST, Moore has the ability to be both tough, assertive, and flinty - while also being thoroughly vulnerable and tender at the same time.  It also helps considerably that Moore, with her raven hair and slightly-exotic looks, and Redford, with his rugged California Boy blondness, make for one aesthetically-pleasing couple with serious chemistry.   

Moore's chemisty with Harrelson is of a less-combustible variety, but it is still a strong one.  This is completely appropriate because Diana and David have been married for five years, and their connection is a more mellow one, rather than the fresh, smoldering one between John and Diana.  All in all, this is one of the stronger love triangles in Movie History, and there is some real suspense all the way to nearly the end about who Diana will choose.  

As INDECENT PROPOSAL nears its resolution it becomes more and more of a conventional romance.  Because of this, it stops just short of hitting a **** / 8 rating.  However, it is definitely still a solidly good film that takes a very atypical route to telling the age-old story of "boy-meets-girl, boy-loses-girl, boy-wins-girl-back."  In this day and age, that is something to reward.   

Up next, our review of FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, which is as controversial as INDECENT PROPOSAL and SLIVER were in 1993.  In fact, SLIVER basically paved the way for FIFTY SHADES OF GREY.  The only difference is SLIVER is much more of a murder-mystery/thriller - and was clearly ahead of its time.