MOVIE RATING SCALE:

***** (Spectacular) 10

****1/2 (Excellent) 9

**** (Very Good) 8

***1/2 (Good) 7

*** (Above Average) 6

**1/2 (Average) 5

** (Below Average) 4

*1/2 (Mediocre) 3

* (Awful) 2

1/2 (Abysmal) 1

0 (Worthless) 0


Thursday, November 18, 2010

# 157 - VIRTUOSITY (1995)

VIRTUOSITY (1995 - ACTION/SCI-FI/THRILLER/RUSSELL CROWE FLICK) *** out of *****

(Doctor, the last thing I remember seeing before I passed out was Russell Crowe’s bare ass…)

I thought this was a fucking Russell Crowe movie? Where, WHERE, WHERE IS RUSSELL CROWE!!!!????!!!!!

CAST: Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe, Kelly Lynch, William Forsythe, Stephen Spinella, Louise Fletcher, Kevin J. O’Connor, William Fichtner.

DIRECTOR: Brett Leonard

WARNING: Some SPOILERS and blinding Russell Crowe ass shots - straight ahead.




Sometime in 1993 or 1994, I remember reading one of the Hollywood industry rags and learning about a film called VIRTUOSITY that was being greenlit at Paramount. It was to star newly-minted leading man Denzel Washington as a cop tracking a vicious serial killer played by an up-and-coming Australian actor named… Russell Crowe. Model-turned-pretty-good-actress Kelly Lynch was to portray a criminal psychologist who becomes Washington’s ally in tracking the psycho down.

This announcement was about as surprising to me as the news that there are very few natural blondes in Los Angeles. After all, in the wake of the great success of the serial killer classic THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS a few years earlier, audiences had seen the likes of similarly-themed films like JENNIFER EIGHT (very good), STRIKING DISTANCE (average), and TRACES OF RED (below average). And then there were the other serial killer films also due to be released in 1995, which would turn out to be two of the better entries in the genre: SEVEN and COPYCAT.

In other words, VIRTUOSITY looked to be yet another SILENCE-wannabe.

Boy, was I wrong. As more information about VIRTUOSITY was released, it became clear that this wasn’t going to be just another Serial Killer flick. In fact, it was sounding more and more like an action-thriller in the vein of BLADE RUNNER and BLACK RAIN, with a troubled cop chasing down a nefarious villain in a futuristic city. Frankly, this was a bit of a relief, given the rising glut of Serial Killer flicks at that time.

Our hero is Parker Barnes (Denzel Washington). When we first meet Parker he is running around a subway in futuristic Los Angeles, wearing a royal blue leather jumpsuit that isn’t so much “What the hell are you wearing?”, but rather “Officer, please arrest that man before he causes a thirty car pile-up.” Needless to say, this is not something you will find in any important designer’s spring collection.

Except Parker himself is a cop, so you can forget about blowing the whistle on his horrendous outfit. He and his similarly decked-out comrade are tracking a killer named Sid 6.7 (Russell Crowe) through a - oh, why not? - Japanese restaurant. When Parker and his buddy catch up with Sid, the latter doesn’t react well to it. As in: he kills Parker’s buddy. And just as he’s about to kill Parker, our hero disappears in a series of pixelated images that must have been cutting edge in 1995, but now would be more at home in some third-rate PlayStation 2 game on sale for $3.99.

Turns out that Parker and his buddy have been participating in some virtual reality law enforcement training program. The big-wig chick running the program, Dr. Elizabeth Deane (Louis Fletcher), has decided to use convicts to uncover glitches in the system. Parker, it seems, was actually cop in real life, too. Except not as clean-cut. Nope, he sports dreadlocks that would make Bob Marley green with envy, and has been imprisoned for killing the psycho that murdered his family because he was getting too close to catching him. Got all that? Or do you want me to email you a powerpoint presentation? Again?

Anyway, it appears that the virtual reality program has become controversial because of the high casualty rate of the people who use it. Now, I don’t pretend to be anything approaching a genius, but isn’t it kind of, you know, fucking stupid and counterproductive to have a training program that kills its trainees? There’s gonna be one hell of a high turnover rate at whatever lucky police academy gets to test-drive it. Not surprisingly, because of the problems with the program - which, evidently, have been going on for awhile - Elizabeth threatens to shut it down along with our smokin‘ hot simulated baddie Sid 6.7.

This doesn’t sit well with Dr. Darrell Lindenmeyer (Stephen Spinella), the creator of the program and Sid. Apparently, Lindenmeyer has fallen in love with his computerized villain. Or maybe lust. Can’t say I blame him, considering Sid looks a lot like Russell Crowe, and has an ass that would put Kim Kardashian’s to shame. Oh, and did I mention that Sid is an amalgam of 100-plus different serial killer personalitities? Seems that Darrell’s got a predilection for bad boys. Or, more accurately, over a hundred of them. In one smokin’ hot body.

In a series of plot contrivances so goddamn ridiculous they make STARSHIP TROOPERS look like a model of believability, Lindenmeyer actually releases Sid into the real world. Yup, Sid pops out of some computerized rubber womb and stands in the middle of the lab in all of his 5’11” well-muscled, bare-assed glory. And instead of tackling Sid and slathering edible body oil all over him, Lindenmeyer inexplicably just turns tail and books it out of there.

What. The. Hell? You finally have him in the flesh - and you wuss out? Talk about dropping the ball! GAD!!!!

Left alone in the lab, Sid goes around preening and posing, flexing this way and that. And baring that ass like it’s the Eighth Wonder of the World. Which, I guess, it is. Unfortunately, Sid gets tired of prancing around in the buff and gets himself some clothes to cover that booty. Then he does what someone with 100-plus serial killers rolling around inside of him would do: he goes out and raises some serious hell.

Learning that Sid is now out and about in the real world, Elizabeth basically suppresses the urge to run to the nearest bar and get toasted out of her gourd. She quickly recruits Parker from his cell to go after Sid. If he succeeds, he will be pardoned. If he doesn’t, well, he probably won’t live long enough to worry about it. In any case, Parker eventually agrees, considering it a vacation from the shoebox that he lives in back at the prison.

Parker gets assigned a babysitter, though, in the delicious form of Dr. Madison Carter (Kelly Lynch), a criminal psychologist who’s been interviewing Parker for a book that she’s working on. And her clinical knowledge of psychopathic behavior may be instrumental in helping catch Sid. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Madison is played by the statuesquely gorgeous Kelly Lynch. Parker probably agreed to have her tag along just so that he could ogle how well she fills out her pantsuits. And - trust me on this - she does.

So… Will Parker and Madison succeed in nabbing Sid? Or will Sid outsmart them both? What happens when they discover that the killer who murdered Parker’s family is one of the personalities in Sid’s program? Will Sid use this knowledge to hurt Parker? And what happens when Sid learns that Madison has a daughter? Will he try to repeat what he did with Parker’s family? Or will Madison kick Sid’s fine but computerized ass all the way to La Cienega Boulevard and back?

I hope not. Because an ass that fine shouldn’t be kicked. It should be worshipped.


BUT, SERIOUSLY: Less like a true serial killer movie and more of a glossy action/thriller, VIRTUOSITY seems to pre-figure the type of film that Denzel Washington would repeatedly collaborate on with his future creative partner Tony Scott. Films like CRIMSON TIDE, MAN ON FIRE, DÉJÀ VU, THE TAKING OF PELHAM 1 2 3, and UNSTOPPABLE would combine slick visuals, kinetic pacing, and breathless action with some unexpected character shadings - basically great-looking entertainment that neither taxes nor insults the brain cells. Although VIRTUOSITY is directed by Brett Leonard, it looks and feels like a Tony Scott film.

Leonard stages the action well, and isn’t afraid to slow the pace down to generate some brooding atmosphere. It’s this painterly touch with mood that elevates what would have otherwise been yet another futuristic action/thriller. It also helps that the main players are all well cast and do unexpected things with their roles.

I have always though that Denzel Washington is at his best when he’s playing less-then-virtuous characters. When he plays noble and stoic (as he did in THE BOOK OF ELI and THE PELICAN BRIEF), I find him bland and uninteresting. However, when he plays unstable, brooding, and possibly dangerous, you simply can’t take your eyes off him, as he proved in MAN ON FIRE and TRAINING DAY. And when he plays fiery and feisty, he is even better, as he showed us in CRIMSON TIDE and UNSTOPPABLE. And when he goes romantic and soulful, he is just terrific - as we saw in DÉJÀ VU.

Here, playing a man who has rightfully murdered the man who killed his family, Washington gets to tweak the typical hero template, blending traditional hero traits with darker anti-hero streaks. These dichotomous sides blend to make Parker a fascinating character that you want to see be redeemed and succeed. Washington plays all of the character’s understandably rough edges - but never fails to show his humanity.

As Madison Carter, Kelly Lynch makes some unusual choices with her role. As written, Madison is a strong, intelligent, capable, and vulnerable female lead. Another actress might have played up the character’s toughness. Lynch, though, takes the harder route and plays up Madison’s sensitivity. In her early interview scenes with Parker, Madison is gentle and soothing, instead of the icy and brittle ball-buster that another actress might have essayed. Lynch maintains this compassionate tone throughout the film without sacrificing Madison’s gumption. Her humanity helps Parker rediscover his, and they both stand as stark counterpoints to the cold and inhuman Sid.

Clearly, there is a subtle tension between Madison and Parker, and I have to wonder if the original drafts of the screenplay included a more fleshed out romance between them. As it is, though, the relationship is more interesting because of the embers that are left smoldering between these two. And it helps that Washington and Lynch have a nice, easy chemistry - and make one beautiful couple to look at for two hours.

In the role of Sid, Russell Crowe is delightfully over-the-top and deliberately hammy. This is just the right tone and volume to play Sid at, since he’s a narcissistic showboat who thrives on attention - and just happens to be psychotic. Crowe appears to be having great fun with the role, and chews the scenery with flair. That he would go on to play the polar opposite character of Bud White in the acclaimed L.A. CONFIDENTAIL just a couple of years later is a testament to this man’s versatile and chameleonic talent.

All in all, VIRTUOSITY is an action/thriller that could’ve been an average entry into the genre, were it not for some unexpected atmosphere and a trio of leads who take their roles into unexpected territory - and make them memorable.